“...For tonight, we party!” cheering sounded through out the court yard as I thrust my mug of cider into the air. We were entering the second month of the war and had just whipped out a massive force with few casualties. This war was dragging on but we were doing good as we came back home with more and more wins. We figured we had some time to our selves after the battle and decided it should be used for fun, so that we could escape our responsibilities even if just for a night. Large barrels of wine and other alcohol was rolled out as the party begun. Music was brought to us by none other then DJ Pon-3, who came up to me as the party was bouncing.
“So long time no see.” She said as I looked at her and tightened my lips as I nodded. I remembered more then I wanted to from Pony-gra and she was a large reminder.
“But seriously, when our you going to come dance for me again? I have a lot of customers asking-” I quickly shoved a drink into her mouth as Celestia was coming over. I went to meet her as Vinyl was coughing from the sudden intrusion of fluid down her throat (that’s what she said. Wait no, that’s what she did. You know what, forget it). Celestia looked at me with a raised eye brow.
“She was really thirsty.” she gave me a look that said 'sure' and shook her head. She then leaned in real close to me and whispered into my ear.
“Why don't you go get us a barrel and we'll go off somewhere else.” I liked the sound of that as I pushed my way through dancing ponies. When I got the barrel I turned to see her slipping into the walk way to the garden. I rushed to the walk way with some mare holding onto my leg saying with a slur about how much she loved popcorn. I finally shook her off and made it into the garden where a large tent was set up, one of those that could fit about ten people. I went to the opening and called out.
“Celestia you in here?” there was some shuffling and a cough.
“Come in.” I paused because the voiced that answered was feminine but very deep, it made me real reluctant to go in. I slowly ducked in and saw her sitting down while sucking on a small, long hose that was connected to a vase. A paused once again after rolling in the barrel.
“You have hooka here?” she smiled at me seductively and floated up another hose. I sat down and took the hose as she opened the barrel.
“Hooka and Applejack Daniels, what could make this better?” I took a long puff from the hose and felt the tingling and slight light headedness. Sweet melon, nice. I looked up and saw her biting her lip with her eyes half closed. Ok this is how it could get better.
“But first...” she stopped me as I was about to crawl over to her and lifted the lid as she replaced the tobacco in side. Before I could really see what it was she covered it up and took a puff. I was about to fallow suit but then she leaned forward and kissed me while blowing the smoke into my mouth. The sticky icky. Now to the fun part, that we're skipping because this isn't clop, where I remember everything until a large, round plot made everything go dark yet warm.
I woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and someone puking out side the tent, a beautiful day. I began stretching my neck and went left to see Celestia asleep besides me. Then I went right to see another sleeping white muzzle but with purple hair. I don't remember Rarity ever coming in but she looked like she went through five rounds with... me. I tried to flip over onto my stomach but something was holding down my legs so I lifted them to see what it was. An orange cowpony slept between my legs with her head covering my crotch. I really wish I could remember what happened. I was tempted to just close my eyes and go back to sleep but other people make plans that involve me. A guard rushed in the tent to find me.
“General Meason, we have reports of troops advancing in the streets!” I quickly got up causing Applejack to fly forward and was fully dressed. I fallowed the guards to the front gates to see a small band of soldiers stumbling down the street, they looked like they had been through hell and back. I ordered them to open the gates and I went out to intercept the soldiers. When I reached them they stopped, about fifteen horribly worn down Saddle Arabian troops, suddenly they started to fall over one after another. The one in the lead, a minotaur with both horns gone, fell into me and I quickly grabbed him, none of them were armed.
“Ple... ase...” he motioned for me to come closer and he whispered in my ear. After that he died, all of them were dead. I gently set him down and stood up as several guards came up to me.
“Bury them...” I turned and walked past the confused guards going to the court yard filled with spent bodies.
“TIME TO SLAUGHTER...” I started, yelling out to my soldiers mixed in the piles of sweat and hang overs. Suddenly they shoot up and stood at attention.
“... OR DIE BEAUTIFULLY!” they answered back as I looked a them. Rathlos popped up in front of me with two large stallions still passed out on his shoulders.
“I want you Ass Pirates at the front gates fully armed in ten minutes, do you understand me?”
“SIR, YES SIR!” with that they left and other started to wake up with groans of disapproval from all the shouting. I didn't care if I made their heads throb more, I had work to do. I went to get the weapon I made to replace the Ramabanana.
Forged in the fires that burned to melt nacho cheese, made of metal extracted from the colon of a porn star, and cooled in piss because there was no water and I had to go bad. The weapon that an entire nation could not lift was wielded in my hands with ease. None could withstand the might of...
The Blackhead
The Blackhead was a ten foot long, one ton mace. The head of the mace was my head, the metal was melted and molded into an exact replica of my head but with a rape face. The last thing anyone at the end of this would see was my face getting ready to fuck them up for good. I slung it over my shoulder and made way to the front gate.
“Meason wait!” I stood at the front of my troops as Celestia came to me.
“Where are you going?” she asked me confused, no one had told her what had happen. I paused for a second then sighed.
“Ghastly Gorge.” with that I turned and ordered my men to start marching. I left her even more confused as a guard came to her to explain what had happen. We made our way to Ghastly Gorge on the information told to me by the dying soldier. What he told me brought back suspicions I had about this war. We may have been winning but something wasn't right with the war. Soon we had our destination in sight.
“Scout the area.” I ordered as I looked down into the gorge. I could see holes along the walls where the ells hid in side.
“So what we lookin' for?” Applejack walked up besides me along with Pinkie Pie and Travis. They came with a small troop of soldiers in case of trouble and they started scouting too.
“A cave.” they looked around confused at all the holes on the walls.
“Which one?” Travis asked as Rathlos came up to me.
“South side left wall sir.” I nodded and we fallowed him to where he told me. From above we had a perfect vantage point of the cave on the ground. Two guards stood watch at the entrance.
“Ok easy enough.” I said as I brought out my weapon and jumped. I landed right in front of the surprised guards as Pinkie Pie bounced down next to me. Applejack slid down the side and came down with no harm but Travis... He smashed down next to me in a pile of broken bones but soon he stood back up ok. With one swing I took out both guards and flung them into a hole in the wall where a hungry hiss sounded with in.
“That was easy.” I said as I put away the Blackhead (not telling where though). Some times I need to keep my mouth shut because after I said that soldiers started jumping out the holes in the walls. So now we were surrounded with our troops at the top.
“We're screwed.” Travis said as they closed in.
“Fear not my window licking friend for I have a plan. Pinkie Pie it is time.” she looked at me surprised then started rubbing her flank.
“Aww already? I'm still sore from last time and everyone is watching.” I faced palm and shook my head.
“No Pinkie the other time.” it finally dinged in her head and we got into position. We stood a little apart, my legs a little spread and her on her back legs doing the same. Then we stretched out our arms and started to slowly move them in wide circles. Right before my finger tips touched her hooves we spoke at once.
“Meason Digivolve to...”
“Pinkie Pie Digivolve to...” With that we touched and a blinding light hid us from everyone else. When it died away something else stood in in the spot between us from where we once were. Every looked at us in awe.
Fusing with Pinkie Pie if like being mind fucked with awesomeness and A.D.H.D. We had become one and what we were was amazing. We were a genderless, pink anthro in an orange, sleeveless jump suit. We had the same mane and tail of Pinkie Pie but brown like my hair. Our eyes were white but had different colored poka-dots in them.
“We are Pinkson... or maybe Meapie. we don't know we have to write this down real quick.” we sat down and pulled out a pen and paper to write down the possible names to call our self.
“Umm Meason or Pinkie Pie or who ever you are.... we're still surrounded.” Travis said nervously. We looked up and around us. With a smirk we rushed forward and started pimp slapping and nut kicking everyone in reach, we think Travis may have got nut checked too but we didn't care. When they kept on coming more and more we needed a new plan. With a powerful leap into the air we brought the base of our palms together and started charging.
So um Meason, I was digging around the back part of our brain and found this box that said-
Shh it's ok Pinkie, there's no reason to call the cops
“Super creamy triple strawberry dream delight batter beam!” After the little bound and gag a pink beam erupted from our hands and shot directly down at everyone below.
“Oh fu-” Travis tried to speak as the beam slammed down and washed over everyone before rapidly cooking into a humongous cake. We floated back down and landed on the cake in a cloud of smoke as we separated.
“Hell yeah cake!”
“EIGHTY EIGHT!” we bounced around on the cake for a bit until we heard muffled yells from under us.
“Oh no we have to eat them out!”
“EIGHTY SEVEN!” I'm sure Travis said a that's what she said underneath all that cake. Pinkie Pie and me started eating our friends to freedom. It was delicious until I bit into something more fleshy.
“Hey you're not a cake... oh I could totally take advantage of this situation.” what I bit into was Applejack's plot, it was raised higher then her so her head was still in the cake. She tried saying something but it was muffled and that's when I moved into position. I started slapping her cheeks and played them like a bongo with real sounds effects too. I would have kept going but she wiggled so much that she set her self free.
“Ok here's the deal, you take your troops and look around. Pink Sink and me are going into the cave.” every one split and went to do their jobs. Standing at the entrance we waited a second before going in.
“Pinkie... before we go all the way in you should know...” we walked further into the cave and out of ear shot from anyone. What we saw would make us come out an hour later with smoke bellowing out the cave. I came out with Pinkamena and we stood at the entrance in silence.
“It was the best thing we could do...” She slowly looked at me and then her hair slowly bounced back to normal. She jumped up and gave me a hug while smiling but I couldn't. She jumped back down and walked off as I stood there. Slowly my skin took a gray hue, my hair fell down from it's curls to strait, and I started to become skinny, my stomach caved in and I no longer had a gut as I lost weight from all around my body.
“It was the best thing we could do...” I said to my self, trying to re-ensure my actions. I no longer had the strange, funny yet good feelings any more. I just felt...