Chapter 20: Connections
Is this all there is?
Each day passed by, largely indistinct from the day before, or the day after. Nictis rose, meandered about various social venues to mingle, and returned to sleep. Pony after pony passed by, casual acquaintances of the moment. On the occasion he encountered one again, it was under a new guise, their interactions starting from the initial introduction and largely retreading the same ground as their last.
It was an unpleasantly familiar rut.
The only break in that routine was the rare visits to the local volunteer committee. While his need for bits was low, it was not nonexistent. Social gathering places often had some expense, even if it was just to blend in. A pony hanging out in a bar or café without making a purchase might look out of place--or even be asked to leave, as he had learned one night.
Days spent working were few and far between. He missed the delicious taste of well-cooked food, but meals of grass and leaves eaten away from prying eyes cost nothing. He missed the comfort of a bed and the warmth of proper shelter, but he paid no rent. A single day of work could last him weeks if rationed carefully.
And so, he spent most of his days doing the same thing, again and again. He met many happy ponies, maybe even made their days slightly better with his company, and then they were gone. Even if he saw them again, they wouldn't recognize him.
So he fed, and he survived, and in the still moments between ponies, or as he curled up in silence to sleep, he contemplated what he could do differently, how he could make things better.
And each time, he went back and did the same thing again.
The coming of fall brought the prospect of more food. Baltimare University saw a good number of ponies coming from across Equestria, many of them still young and excitable. In the days before the fall semester, many new faces showed up. They seemed an ideal choice, ponies who were also looking for a little friendly companionship in a new place, but who might not feel such a need for longer-term relations with a pony living in a place they would leave again before long. Casual friendships that came and went, and which could offer a changeling an easy opportunity to feed, even as meager as the meals might be.
The restaurants, bars, clubs, and gathering places around the University became Nictis's new "hunting grounds." Despite the increase in activity, there was no significant change in daily life for Nictis. It was still the same routine, just with more activity.
Sometimes a little too active. Nothing quite reached the level of his experiences with Cherry Runner, though several made it clear they would have liked it to go there. One, who had perhaps a bit too much cider that evening, had even required a fairly firm hoof to the snout to discourage him. Fortunately, all the other ponies seemed far too amused at the sight of that stallion being floored by the mare he was clumsily hitting on, and Nictis had slipped away.
He found it rather sad that it was the most interesting night he had in weeks.
It was an early mid-fall morning, and Nictis was prowling a café, although "prowling" in this case had meant sitting at a small table, sipping a cup of tea while keeping an eye out for opportunities. That day he was disguised as a unicorn mare he had named Moondancer, sporting a midnight-blue coat and a flowing silver-gray mane. Such "prowling" was often boring work if no prospects presented themselves, and that morning was particularly dull. There were several students, but most of them were drinking much larger quantities of tea and coffee while poring over books and papers. By the time his own tea ran out, despite such careful rationing, he decided it was time to go.
He rose, left a few bits for the drink, and started to head out when an accidental glimpse at the open journal one student had set on her table brought him to a halt.
On the page were several very technical-looking drawings of changelings.
He'd only barely gotten a glance when a blue hoof flipped the journal shut, drawing his attention up to the unicorn mare sitting at the booth and now wearing a rather sheepish expression. Her voice came quietly. "S-sorry..."
Nictis blinked, feeling both embarrassed for being caught snooping, and as if he had just missed something. "I, uh... sorry? For what?"
She glanced down at the journal, then back to him. "Oh, um... it's just, some ponies get a little weirded out seeing a bunch of drawings of, you know... changelings."
He hesitated a moment, struck by the strange contradiction that he seemingly should be "weirded out" at seeing changelings, and yet she didn't seem to share that reaction herself. It was too curious a thing to pass up. "You're not?"
"Well... no." She smiled a little, but it was a rather nervous smile. "I find them kind of interesting, actually."
Nictis looked down to the closed book. "Why's that?" he asked, before quickly adding, "If you don't mind me asking."
"Oh, well, I guess it's okay." She shuffled a bit in place. "It's kind of a long story, probably boring."
He thought for a moment, weighing his options. His curiosity was caught by this oddity, and even though he ideally wanted to keep as much distance between himself and any thoughts of changelings as possible, he figured a small concession might be valuable here; after all, common interests were a good way of establishing connections with a pony. "I'd like to hear it. I have to admit, I've been rather curious about changelings, myself."
At his gentle smile, she brightened up. "Really?" He nodded, and she spoke happily. "Well, where should I start? I mean, there's so much about them that's just so interesting, and most of it we don't really know anything about. There are so many reasons to find a sapient insectoid innately super-polymorphic emotovore fascinating after all, even if just to understand how all of that works, but, uh..." She faltered a moment, a hint of embarrassment creeping into the emotions he sensed from her. "Well, a big part of it is the aesthetics."
Nictis raised an eyebrow.
"I know it's a little weird," she said quickly, "but I've always thought bugs looked neat. Most of the other fillies would go running and screaming at the sight of a wasp or spider, but I'd just watch them as they go about their business, or even follow them around. Actually, that's why I'm here." She gestured to her flank as she shifted to the side, which was adorned with the image of a wasp. "I'm an entomology student at the university, though I'm hoping to expand that to arthropodology eventually. Anyway, changelings are very insectoid in appearance, so they kind of caught my attention. They just... well, they look neat!"
There was a moment of silence as Nictis considered it, while the mare shifted a little, nervously. He was about to reply when she spoke again. "Though they're not insects, you know. Biology is all wrong. They're from a different order, at least. Arguably a different phylum, though that's far from settled. Some even argue they should be classified as chordates, which might actually make them more closely related to ponies than to insects!"
She was smiling enthusiastically at him, as if she hoped he found the information as exciting and interesting as she did; a hard feat when several key words of the conversation made no sense to him, though he got the general gist of it. In any case, it was best to play along. "I had no idea," he replied.
"Like I said, they're kind of fascinating creatures!"
Nictis hesitated. On the one hoof, this represented an unusual opportunity to discover exactly what ponies knew about changelings, and knowledge was the greatest weapon one could possess. On the other hoof, he was not only unsure whether he wanted to know, but there was also the fact that she held that knowledge. Of all ponies, she would be the most dangerous, as she actually had an idea of what a changeling was like. Knowing that, she would be the most likely to sniff out any mistakes he made, and reveal himself for what he really was.
She'd probably be less likely to attack him than the other ponies he'd encountered recently. No, she'd probably be more interested in studying him... which was not a comforting thought.
A little part of him thought it might even be an audacious trick, though even that little bit didn't dare to hope for it. Infiltrators had many tricks after all, and "hiding in plain sight" was an often-viable tactic, although this would have likely been over-doing it to the point of suspicion. Plus, this mare had yellow eyes and a yellow-and-black cutie mark, while an Infiltrator imitating a unicorn would almost certainly incorporate a bit of green somewhere to match their magic.
Despite all this, he saw the happy smile on her face, feeling her enthusiasm, and he wanted to see more of it. He seemed to be making her day just by speaking with her, and he didn't want to see that suddenly end.
Besides, he was still very hungry.
He motioned toward the closed book with his muzzle. "Do you think I could see those again?"
"Of course!" she exclaimed, her magic--yellow, he noted with a faint disappointment--flipping it open again. "Would you like a seat?"
"Thank you," he replied, sitting beside her as he looked over the drawings. They were all remarkably detailed and very precise, showing an average changeling drone from different angles. Other drawings focused on smaller parts of the body, with labels everywhere, and it all seemed eerily accurate. The cutaway images were particularly disturbing, showing the internal organs and structure of a changeling in more detail than Nictis had ever known.
He did catch one detail that ponies would likely miss; every drawing seemed to be not just of a hypothetical changeling drone, but of one specific changeling drone. After the attack on Canterlot, he had heard a couple ponies talking about the changelings as an identical swarm, which he had found rather odd, yet it had made a strange sort of sense. Ponies were so used to distinguishing themselves with color, mane and tail styles, and their cutie mark. Perhaps they didn't think of other ways of telling individuals apart? Nictis, however, immediately noted the pattern of holes, the placement and curve of the horn, the little fine details of the ears, dorsal membrane, and wings, and even the finer details in the shape and thickness of chitin. Every detail was the same. Either all these were of the same changeling, or this mare was particularly exacting in making sure each drawing had the same looks as the last. Possibly both.
Suddenly there was a hoof in front of him. "My name's Glitterbug," she said, holding her hoof there for him to shake.
"Glitterbug?" Really?
She nodded. "Yep!"
Gently, he shook her hoof. "Moondancer," he replied.
He continued to slowly flip through the drawings, while she happily rambled on about her knowledge of changelings. It was amusing to see someone discussing his kind with such happy enthusiasm, but something about it felt... off. It seemed ponies knew a lot about changeling biology, complete with inner workings, as well as the basics of changeling magic and the mechanics and methods of feeding, but knew nothing at all about their society or culture, even as meager as it must seem in comparison. He didn't enjoy the implications of that rather limited selection of knowledge.
Fortunately, she was far more engrossed in discussing what she knew, rather than how she knew it, and he wasn't about to ask.
Soon the conversation had drifted onto her broader studies, segueing with a comparison between changeling physiology and that of insects, and eventually leading into her discussing her other studies, and her experiences there at the university.
"...so I finally found the dorm building, complete opposite side of campus from where that mare told me," she said. "But then when I do get there, I--sun and moon, it's that late already?"
Nictis jerked back at the sudden exclamation, while Glitterbug was staring in wide-eyed horror at a clock on the opposite wall of the café. Then he jerked again as she exploded into a flurry of motion, grabbing at the scattered papers and books that had been mostly neglected since they started talking. "No, no, no, no, no, I'm going to be late!"
He started to stand to get out of her way, but she simply dove out over the table, knocking off the last pair of books. He caught them in his magic as she regained her hooves and quickly snatched them up as well. She quickly tossed on her saddlebags, half her materials clutched to her chest in one hoof, the rest floating in her magic in a blob of books and papers. She lunged to the door, then skidded and spun to a stop, looking back to him. "I've got to go! I... the thing and stuff... you! I, uh, we can finish this up tomorrow if you're here, okay?"
Nictis was sure he looked rather shocked by the sudden frenzy of activity. "I don't know," he said, feeling a little uneasy at this part. "I travel around a lot, I'm not even sure where I'll be tomorrow. But if I am here--"
"Great!" she shouted happily. "I've got to go, bye!"
With that, she bolted out the door, hurrying along in a stumbling three-legged gallop and a steady stream of indistinct, panicked mutters.
Nictis stood there in silence for a few moments, broken finally when he chuckled, a smile growing across his disguised face. It's almost too bad I'm avoiding any relations longer than a single encounter, he mused. She's kind of fun, and I think that's the best meal I've gotten in a few weeks.
His smile faded at that final thought, his ears drooping.
Moondancer is never coming here again.
Nictis idly turned the teacup between two large hooves. They were much bigger than he was used to, making the action somewhat clumsy. His disguise for the day was a stallion he had dubbed Trail Dust, an earth pony with a dirt-colored coat and a sturdy frame, reminiscent of some of the farmers he had seen. It was the largest form he had ever taken, and incredibly strong, but the bulk made the body feel awkward. Nothing quite bent right, or at least how he expected it to, and he had several times bumped into things or simply stumbled on his over-large hooves. He simply added "always been clumsy" onto the meager back-story he had come up with for the disposable disguise, and focused on the cup between his hooves.
It gave him something to focus on other than Glitterbug, sitting in the same booth she had the previous day. She had her nose stuck in her books, but he'd caught several hopeful glimpses toward the door when a pony entered the café, followed by the subtle frown when she didn't recognize them. He sighed silently, lifting the cup in both hooves--managing to not spill any, this time--and took a sip. Part of him regretted going there again. He knew she'd be there, probably hoping Moondancer would show up, and that he'd have to see her disappointment when that nonexistent pony didn't show. He hadn't expected it to be quite so noticeable, though. Each time she glanced up only to see that the incoming pony wasn't the one she had hoped for, the little frown that followed grew a little bit more pronounced.
Another part of him told him that he should be there, that he should see this. It was another reminder of what he was doing. Even these little, short-lived deceptions weren't without consequences.
He scowled down at his cup. Maybe I should just find some bad pony, some pony I could hate. Some pony I wouldn't mind seeing hurt. At least then he wouldn't feel bad if things fell apart. Not much, anyway. The thought of being all nice and friendly to somepony like Big Shot argued rather strongly against the idea. He wasn't sure he could do that. Certainly, he wouldn't enjoy it.
That's the problem, isn't it? I can make myself content, but hurt others... or I can avoid hurting others, but suffer myself... but no matter what I do, I can't have both. It's just... it's not fair...
He glanced over at Glitterbug again, and an instant later, she glanced over at him.
They both immediately looked away. As the minutes passed by, he caught a couple more glances from the corner of his eye. He quickly finished off his tea, left a couple bits to pay for it, and walked out. He didn't want to stay there, being the creepy stallion she'd caught ogling her. He'd probably caused enough damage already.
He slipped into the alley nearby, away from the crowded streets. It was easier to think there, slightly away from the crowds.
What now?
He lingered there, trying to answer that question.
Moondancer stepped through the front door of the café.
Nictis hid his unease well, though his mind was still racing, still torn as to what he should be doing. Part of him had wanted to just leave, to find a different place to hunt, to continue going on without any connections to any ponies, but even that wasn't working. He'd barely talked with Glitterbug, but he'd seen the disappointment when her newfound acquaintance had not returned. Even the most casual contact was still hurting ponies with his deceptions. It would be brief, but still there, and while he could overlook it for the typical bar and nightclub patron out for a carefree night of enjoyment, he couldn't do the same with a pony that he actually liked. With her enthusiasm and friendly nature, he couldn't help liking her. Knowing ponies, there would be many more, too.
He'd sympathize with them. He'd like them. And then he would deceive them. Feed off them.
But what other option did he have? The best he could do was to keep the damage to a minimum: make those ponies happy while he was there, but not so happy that they felt too close to him, and above all, to avoid letting them feel too much attachment. Eventually, he'd have to leave, or he'd be discovered again, and any attachment would only be a source of pain for both sides. Then he'd move on, and do it again to a different set of ponies. The changeling way.
It all just seemed so unfair, but what could he do?
The tiniest little voice in the back of his head contemplated giving up. Just walking out into the street, dropping his disguise, and... just let whatever was coming happen.
The knowledge that he would even momentarily consider such a final and fatalistic act shook him to the core.
It was an abandonment of everything it meant to be a changeling. A changeling doesn't just curl up and die when times were tough. A changeling endures...
...But I haven't been a good changeling for such a long time, have I?
He had eventually shaken himself from his thoughts and retaken his disguise as Moondancer. He was not going to just give up, even as weary as he was. He would do what he had to do.
Glitterbug's eyes lit up when she saw Moondancer enter, though Nictis was a little surprised by the emotions he felt. The happiness was there, though a bit subdued compared to what he had expected from her anxious watching. She also seemed to be feeling a mix of nervousness, excitement, and doubt toward him. Nictis winced inwardly at that, but outwardly he smiled as he walked over to her table.
"I was starting to wonder if I'd see you again," she said as Nictis stepped near. As an afterthought, she gestured to the bench in silent invitation.
"Sorry," he said, taking a seat. The mare's body was significantly more comfortable to move around in than the bulky form he had only a few minutes earlier. "I hope you haven't been waiting too long?"
"I've been keeping busy with my studies," she replied over the spread of books and papers. "Though speaking of which, I have to go soon. I don't want to be late for class again."
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause problems for you."
She gave a nervous smile. "Oh, no, it's not your fault. I was the one who wasn't paying attention to the time. It's not like you know my class schedule."
"I guess, though I was the one distracting you from your studies."
"Oh, don't worry about that," she said with a wave of her hoof. "I've been doing nothing but study for months, now, even before school started. I'm pretty well ahead of my classmates already. Besides, it's not like I have anything else to do with my time." She visibly fought the natural reflex to fold her ears back in embarrassment, her unease growing at the statement.
He tried to ignore the analytical side of his mind that immediately went toward exploiting what it had identified as a weakness in her defenses, an opportunity for him to act. He pushed it to the background. "Still, I'll try not to make you late again. When do you have to go?"
"In another twenty minutes," she said, her magic starting to gather up some of the scattered study materials. "I guess you have good timing. Even though I love this stuff, I should probably take a break. I don't think there's anything I'm going to learn from a fourth read-through of the textbook that I didn't retain from the first three."
"Well, at least I won't feel too bad about interrupting your studying," he said with a chuckle.
The pause in conversation stretched on for several long seconds. Eventually, Nictis spoke up again. "So other than classes and studying, what do you do?"
After a moment of hesitation, she allowed a shy smile. "Well, I eat and sleep occasionally."
Another pause, as Nictis raised an eyebrow. "...That's it?"
"Yeah. My studies keep me pretty busy. Not that I'm complaining, I've been having a lot of fun, and the classes are fascinating! Well, maybe not that introductory writing class, or whatever it was called, that's a waste of time. But I'm in four different science classes, and they're all exciting. Especially my insect biology class. Professor Pillbug is a great teacher and really funny, he--"
Nictis just smiled, nodding occasionally while she talked. All the nervousness she had shown earlier was forgotten. It was nice to see someone so happy, and all he had to do was be there, listening. Of course, it probably would have helped if he had understood some of the things she discussed.
But eventually, the stories wound down, that hint of nervousness and uncertainty growing in Glitterbug as she glanced at the clock. "I should go soon," she said eventually.
"Have fun at class?"
She hesitated, emotions jumbling slightly. For a pony, she could be remarkably hard to read at times. "Hey, um... tomorrow's the weekend, so I won't be here, but I was wondering... well, I mean, I'm still new in town, and I don't really know anypony or have any friends here. Do you want to get together and, you know, hang out tomorrow?"
Any happiness Nictis was feeling fled from him, his content smile turning into a frown. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."
She blinked, clearly unhappy with the response. "What? Why not?"
Nictis looked away. A part of him wanted to just happily go along with the idea, to encourage a deeper affection that he could feed off of. He didn't absolutely need it; he was gathering enough energy to get by just from these more casual encounters, even if it was still so much less than he was used to. It was like a juicy steak dangled in front of a manticore, and an instinctive part of him wanted to simply leap at it.
But after seeing her so happy, so passionate about her interests, and having seen just a hint of the frailty that lay under it, he couldn't bear to think of being the one to break that happiness. Not again. "Because... I'm not a good pony to be friends with."
She was quiet for a moment, and frustratingly hard to read. He'd expected something to flare up, but instead, her emotions seemed to grow subdued. "Why not?" she asked, her voice curious, with a hint of concern.
His jaw tightened. "I'm not a good pony."
"You seem like a good pony," she countered.
"That's the problem," he grumbled, glancing to her before looking away again. "I might seem that way, but I'm not. I just end up hurting anypony I get close to. So I'd rather not get close to anypony anymore. That way I can't hurt them."
She stared at him for several seconds before frowning faintly. "That sounds really dumb."
Nictis blinked, turning to look back at her, and she quickly continued. "I mean, sure, never interacting with a pony means you'd be sure not to hurt them, at least not directly, but it seems pretty dumb to consider that the only way of doing so. Just don't... do whatever it is that hurts them."
He sighed. "It doesn't work that way," he replied. Then, quieter, he grumbled, "I can't change what I am. I can't change what I've done."
Another quiet stretch hung over them, broken by a single word. "So?"
He looked at her with a glare, but she continued. "Well, it's obvious you feel bad about whatever you've done. So just, you know, don't do it again?"
"It's not that simple," he said with a scowl, eyes turned down to the table.
"Why not?" she asked flatly.
He frowned a bit more, fixing her with a stare. He knew exactly why not, but that certainly wasn't something he could share. Instead, he stayed quiet.
Unfortunately, she took that as a sign of victory, showing a smug smile. "So we'll meet up tomorrow?"
In silence, he stared at her for several long seconds while every single reason to say no passed through his head.
"...Okay."
Days passed by in a meaningless procession. Many days were still devoted to randomly wandering clubs and bars, taking little nibbles of happiness from nameless ponies. An occasional day here and there featured volunteer work, earning the small number of bits she needed. And then, a couple days each week, he met with Glitterbug. They were short visits, scattered about, but the mare always seemed a little bit happier when he visited.
It was as if life was dangling her happiness in front of him, goading him into taking a bite.
All the while, the days slowly grew shorter and colder. His morning hot drink had swiftly changed from a way to hide in plain sight to a way to warm his body up after the cold night. Even with all the layers of boxes that he had made his shelter out of, the cold and wet seeped in relentlessly. On some mornings it was almost impossible to hide his shivering. Glitterbug had certainly noticed, and he had made a quick excuse about a cheap apartment and not enough blankets.
Despite the cold, he was determined to endure.
At least he was well-fed, no longer feeling as if he was a couple missed meals away from starvation. He had Glitterbug to thank for that. She did seem happy around him, which was nice
"So how about you?" she asked over her sketchbook, doodles of changelings filling many of the pages. "Where do you come from?"
He frowned a little, setting down the hot cup he'd been cradling in his hooves. She'd been prying at his past ever since that second visit, still trying to figure out why he was so reluctant to make friends. No doubt she thought she was being incredibly subtle about it, too.
"Why does that matter?" he asked as neutrally as he could.
"Because, I'd like to know more about my friend," she said with a smug grin and her usual emphasis on the last word. "And I've been talking plenty about my past, but you've not said a word about yours. So come on, I want to hear something!"
He frowned at her, and she smiled back, obstinately and willfully ignorant of his disapproval. Even if she didn't get an answer now, she'd just keep asking, just as she kept emphasizing the word "friend." He'd have to share something eventually.
It'd probably be easier if he hadn't avoided thinking up a detailed background for Moondancer.
Time to improvise.
"There's not really much to tell. I was an orphan until I grew up. I spent a long time in Manehattan. I made a good friend. A couple friends, actually, but one in particular, but... well, I ruined everything. We had a particularly bad break-up, so I left. Then I arrived here." He shrugged. "That's it."
"That's not a very good story," she said in a disapproving tone. "Come on, you've got to give some details."
"There's not much to share," he replied. "The only interesting parts were when I was with... my friend. And I'm not talking about that."
"Why not?" she asked with a roll of her eyes. "I'm just going to keep asking!"
He glared back at her. "Because I did some horrible things, Glitter. You wouldn't like me if you knew what I did."
She set her sketchpad down, leaving the half-drawn changeling unfinished. "I'm pretty sure you're wrong."
"Oh really?" he asked, irritation creeping into his voice. "Well how about this: that friend of mine? When I first met him, he was an orphan, too. We lived in the same orphanage, and I basically trapped him there, keeping him from being adopted, all for my own needs. So yeah, I took advantage of an orphan and abused his trust for years, all while pretending to be his friend."
She blinked, a rush of surprise and unease coming from her. "I... I'm sure it wasn't your fault that--"
"Intentionally," he growled.
"What?"
"I did it on purpose." He looked away, glaring down at his cup. "I was alone and selfish, so I sabotaged every chance he would have to get adopted just so I could act sympathetic to him every time he got sad. I ruined his life for years just to serve my own purposes."
His voice grew quieter. "It wasn't until later that I started to like him, too. I loved him, even. He loved me, and all because I showed a friendly face while stabbing him in the back. And then he found out what I had done to him, and... and it was all ruined."
Glitterbug was silent for a long time after that, though her mind was clearly racing. All sorts of emotions flashed by in a blur; he could sense a good amount of unease and concern about him, but also a surprising amount of sympathy. Finally, she spoke. "You did love him, though?"
He just nodded.
She thought for a minute. "Would you do it again?"
"What? No, of course not." He sighed. "I wish I hadn't done it the first time, but saying I didn't know any better just... sounds hollow."
She considered this for another moment, then nodded. "Yep, you were wrong."
Nictis frowned. "About what?"
"About me hating you for knowing what you've done," she replied with a little smile, though it vanished a moment later. "Don't get me wrong, I think what you did was horrible, but it's pretty clear you feel bad about it, and I take it that it's safe to assume you wouldn't do it again?"
"No, I wouldn't," he replied. "But I wouldn't say it's safe for anypony to assume so."
"Well, I think that's good enough for me," she said as she started to gather up her study supplies. It was almost time for class again.
Nictis was simply staring at her, unsure exactly how to feel about this. "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't feel so unconcerned about all this if I had done it to you."
"No, I'd probably need some time to get over it," she said with a frown, though it was short-lived. "But you're not doing anything like that."
"You don't know that."
She prodded him with a book before tucking it into her bags. "Nothing bad has happened to me in quite a while, so if you were doing something under-hoofed, it must be pretty insignificant, right?"
He rolled his eyes. "You're seriously going to listen to me tell you all about how I ruined a pony's life, and you still want to be around me, even though I might do the same to you?"
"Yep!"
Again, he found himself simply staring at her. "...You're weird."
"Well, duh," she said with a smug smile. "I'm a filly that plays around with bugs all day, but that doesn't have much to do with this."
He continued to stare, this time in silence.
She sighed. "Look, I'm sure pretty much everypony has done something bad. What--"
"And what kind of bad things have you done?"
Glitterbug stopped, blinking a moment. "Uh, well... I... I guess I stepped on a spider a couple days ago. A Whitetail Leaping Spider. I wasn't looking--"
"Oh come on!" Nictis grumbled. "That doesn't count! That's not even close to the same thing."
"Well I'm sorry, it's not like I've got some big list of bad things I've done!" she shot back with a little frown, then paused to think. "I guess... I guess the worst I've done would probably be some arguments with my parents. There were a few times when I just got so mad with them, and we'd yell, and I know I called them a bunch of mean things. I still feel kinda bad about some of it. But we still love each other."
Nictis just grumbled wordlessly.
"So do you think I'm a bad pony?" she asked.
"No," Nictis replied. "But that's still not close to what I did."
She groaned, rolling her eyes. "Oh, fine. Okay, how about Princess Luna? Do you think she is a bad pony?"
"No, of course not. Why should I?"
"Oh, I don't know," she said with a little shrug. "Maybe because she tried to pull that whole never-ending-night thing a couple times. I've thought a bit on it, and it kind of seems like pretty much everypony would die from that, except maybe the lucky few who can figure out some magical means of getting food and warmth. I think double-attempted-genocide trumps you."
He frowned. "Yeah, well... she's a pretty pony princess. I'm... about as far from that as you can get."
Glitterbug chuckled. "I don't know, I'm sure if you got a good styling and maybe a decent dress, you could be rather pretty, too."
Once again, he glared at her, and she raised her hooves. "Okay, okay. But my point stands. Just because you've done something bad doesn't mean you're a bad pony."
He sighed, slumping against the table and grumbling. "I wish that were true."
"It is true."
He just sat there, silent.
Eventually, Glitterbug stood, slipping her saddlebags on. Then, almost as an afterthought, she pulled out a thick, woolen blanket, floating it over to him.
Nictis blinked. "What's this?"
"It's a blanket," she said with a hint of a smirk. "You sleep under it, and it keeps you warm."
"I know what a blanket is," he shot back, pushing it away with a hoof. "I meant, why are you trying to give it to me?"
She floated it back after his push. "Because you always look so cold when I meet you here, and I don't like seeing my friend being so uncomfortable."
He pushed it again. "I don't need it."
"Sure you don't," she said. "I'm still giving it to you."
"Well I'm not taking it," he replied, looking away.
"Suit yourself," she said, then dropped it on the table. "I guess I'll just leave it sitting here for the first pony in need. Bye!"
Before he could object, she trotted off, leaving him alone with the unwanted gift.
The rain came down hard and steady, slowly seeping into every crack and crevice, and bringing with it a piercing cold. Nictis huddled in his shelter. He wanted to be angry with Glitterbug, but he was increasingly unsure why. Grumbling, he pulled the edge of the blanket tighter around himself. It was really hard to stay angry with her when he was more comfortable than he had been in weeks.
Winter had arrived, leaving the city blanketed in snow. It had been the season Nictis had been dreading, and yet its arrival had been surprisingly mild. The weather was cold, but the snow didn't go soaking into his makeshift shelter to leave him wet and shivering. That wasn't to say that winter was pleasant... but it was tolerable.
He stomped his hooves several times to shake off the snow that clung to the fur of his disguise--dumb ponies with their dumb fur--before stepping into the warmth of the café. Glitterbug hadn't arrived yet, so he ordered an extra-large cup of hot chocolate, then sat at their usual booth. He took slow sips, clutching the cup in both hooves as he let the warmth slowly seep into him.
The first cup was finished, and a second was halfway there, before Glitterbug arrived.
"Hey Moony, sorry I'm late!" She sat on the bench opposite him, full of happiness and excitement. He belatedly noted that she wasn't carrying any of her books with her. Instead, she floated along a folded newspaper. Nictis avoided looking at it.
"It's okay," he replied. "Though I was starting to wonder if you were going to make it."
She chuckled softly. "Oh, of course. No, I was just packing. Though on that note, I'm not here for long, I've got to catch a train in an hour and a half."
"A train?" Nictis asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're going on a trip?"
"Yep!" she replied, grinning. "I'm going to Ponyville to visit Counselor Sky!"
Well, she's certainly excited by this... whatever it is. "Counselor Sky?"
"Yeah," she said, her grin slipping a little. "You know, the 'counselor on changeling affairs?'"
"Oh," he replied with a frown. "I don't really pay attention to politics."
She gave him a strange look. "Or news in general, it seems. Anyway, we've corresponded a few times before, and now he's invited me to visit him in his home to answer any questions I have. I'm just so excited! What an opportunity!"
"What kind of questions?" he asked, although he had a good idea where this was going.
"About changelings, of course," she replied with a thin smirk.
Nictis tried not to scowl, particularly as he began to wonder if this Sky fellow had been the source of those very anatomical drawings of changelings. Equestria seemed to deem the problem serious enough to have a counselor specifically for the matter of dealing with changelings, and it made sense that he would know more than any pony about the species. Although it seemed this knowledge was disturbingly limited to anatomical details.
Right. Not thinking about it.
Fortunately, she didn't offer any details. She just ordered a quick cup of tea, and they sat there in silence, enjoying the warmth of their beverages.
Right up until she decided to blindside him.
"So what do you think of changelings?"
Nictis coughed into his mug, then set it back down on the table. Despite her regular drawings, she hadn't said anything about changelings since their first meeting, and he had been content to leave the subject entirely alone. "Well, that's random. And you did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"No, it's not," she said. "And yes, I did." And she smiled.
Nictis rolled his eyes. "I don't know. They look kind of neat. I thought we covered that already?"
"We discussed interest, yes. But this is different. Besides being interesting, what do you think of them?"
He sighed, slowly rolling his mug between his hooves. "Well... they're deceptive little monsters that feed off ponies. Dangerous, too. You saw what they did in Canterlot. Kidnapped a pony just to feed off her husband-to-be, and then tried to enslave every single pony there. They might need to steal love to survive, but ponies would probably be better off if the whole lot of them were wiped out."
Glitterbug stared at him, brows raised. "That's... rather harsh, don't you think?"
"Maybe," he grumbled and took a quick drink. "But it's still probably the best choice for ponies. Changelings will still need food, and that'll just mean that so long as there are any changelings around, they're going to keep preying on ponies. It's sad that it has to be that way, but there's no way around it."
She was still fixing him with a strange look. "What? Sure there is. Ponies and changelings can coexist just fine."
Nictis snorted out a disparaging laugh. "Don't be naive. Do you really think there are many ponies that would be happy to be prey for a bunch of changelings?"
Glitterbug smirked. "I'm quite certain that I wouldn't mind feeding a changeling so long as they don't over-do it."
"Right," Nictis replied dryly with a roll of his eyes. "But we've already established that you're weird."
For a moment, they were both silent. She was rather strange, and rather... amused. A little nervous, and a fair bit excited, but mostly amused. He glanced back to her, catching her thin smile. "...What?"
"Nothing," she said, sounding far too amused to be convincing. "Just enjoying the irony."
"What irony?" he asked with a scowl.
"You calling me naive," she said with a faint chuckle. "You really don't have a clue, do you?"
"A clue about what?" he asked, irritation rising.
"Oh, nothing," she replied, her feelings growing even more amused and excited. Despite that, she managed to play it cool, rising from her seat with a smug little smile. "Anyway, I need to get going if I'm going to catch my train. Here, I got you a gift to entertain yourself with while I'm gone."
She set the folded newspaper on the table. Nictis pointedly ignored it, continuing to glare at her. For a moment she just stood there, then finally rolled her eyes, snickered, and walked off. "Bye, Moony. See you soon."
Nictis grumbled something that could be generously construed as "Goodbye." She could be rather frustrating at times, but it was easy enough to remember why he still liked her, despite that. She was decent enough company when she wasn't verbally prodding him. Better company than most of the random ponies he'd met. A bit naive at times, but she meant well. And she was something... familiar.
With a sigh, he looked down at the paper and reluctantly nudged it flat to look at the front page. Then he simply sat there, motionless, staring dumbfounded at what he saw.
The headline wasn't the same kind of mind-warping irrationality as the last headline he had read, months back. It simply stated:
COUNSELOR SKY PROMOTES CHANGELING AMNESTY
It didn't make any sense, but it wasn't something that was intrinsically and instinctively wrong. Not that he had any time to contemplate it, as he was transfixed by the picture that accompanied the article.
He had to check the caption to make sure he actually saw what he thought he saw. The caption seemed clear enough: "Sky addressing the Canterlot nobility in regards to the planned policy." Again he looked to the picture. It made no sense, and yet, there it was, plain to see.
Counselor Sky was a changeling.