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// Ch2 lolwut 
// Story: Well This Is Different 
// by Whatthef 
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A/N Just for the hell of it, I’m going to add hyperlinks to the song I’m currently listening to while writing this, listen if you want to. I’m also slightly drunk right now so bear with me on the story clarity and spelling, and grammar, and coherence. A/N 3 months prior to the most recent authors notes. Seriously… Only while on alcohol can I write. And now to the story.
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Dear Twilight Sparkle, 
James is not of this world, I myself do not know the specifics of how he came to be, I do however know that he is willing to accept new things as he is under the belied that he is dead and this is his afterlife. My sister and I would be appreciative if you did not tell him about us and what we are capable of. Treat him as you would any other pony, he is a good pony to have as a friend.
Sincerely
Princess Celestia.

“Hello James.”
“The fuck is this, the fuck is that, the fuck is you?”
“You can call me your conscience.”
“… Oook, what are you doing talking to me?”
“Have you never had a conversation with your conscience before?”
“No, no I haven’t, if you’ve tried talking to me before I guess I couldn’t hear you.”
“Well then, now that the introductions are complete, how are you?”
“Fine I guess, considering that I’m a fucking horse and dead, I’m doing just fine.”
“You are not a horse you are a pony, and on top of that, you are a Pegasus.”
“Yeah yeah yeah, big fucking difference.”
“There is a difference, you are not a beast of burden.”
“Really.”
“Really.”
“Then what is a beast of burden here?”
“There are no true beasts of burden here in the context that you’re thinking. There are ponies that fulfill tasks that you would think qualifies as beasts of burden, but they are not beasts of burden.”
“Well isn’t that fanfuckingtastic.”
“Yes it is.”
“So what the hell am I supposed to do here?”
“What would you like to do?”
“I don’t know, I wasn’t Catholic, I don’t know what to expect from purgatory.”
“This is not purgatory.”
“It isn’t well let me just cross that off of my list of where the fuck I am.”
“You are in Equestria.”
“Yeah yeah, the purple unicorn said that too.”
“Her name is Twilight Sparkle, you may want to get to know her better.”
“Why? So she can question me some more?”
“If she attempts to question you that is not my problem.”
“Yeah it sure as hell isn’t, you’re my conscience or whatever.”
“No it is not my problem. While you are here you might as well learn to use those large wings of yours.”
“They aren’t just for decoration?”
“They are not, I think that Rainbow Dash would be a good teacher for you.”
“Why her?”
“In my opinion she seems to be built for speed.”
“Oh really, and my conscience has an opinion in this matter after only a day in this place.”
“Yes I do and just so you know you are not required to speak out loud for me to hear you.”
“So if I just think of what I was going to say you’ll hear it?”
“Yes.”
“This is a test of the emergency alert system, if you are hearing this holy fucking hell.”
“That was rather clever of you to think.”
“Holy shit it worked.”
“Yes it did, now are you going to complete your mission or not?”
“Yeah sure. Wait, mission? You never said anything about a fucking mission before.”
“…”
“Conscience?”
“…”
“Well fuck.”
“Hi Red.”
“Hello James, you’re being discharged now. Do you know where you’re going to go?”
“No idea, might as well start with the people that brought me here.”
“Ponies.”
“That’s what I meant, might as well start with them.”
“Which do you intend to start with? I can give you directions to where they live.”
“Might as well start with the one closest to the hospital, do you know which one that is?”
“Ah that would be Twilight Sparkle, she lives in the Ponyville library, it’s a giant tree towards the middle of the town.”
“Thanks, I should be able to find it as long as I know what I’m looking for.”
“No problem, if you’re not going to be staying in town and are interested in a little… sendoff… let me know.”
“She wants my dick.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”

*knock knock*
“SPIKE COULD YOU GET THAT?”
“Sheesh Twi, you don’t have to shout.”
“Sorry, I’m just a little bit confused about the Princesses reply.”
“Maybe you should just accept him and become friends with him like the princess suggested.”
“I don’t know, he thinks he’s dead and he’s from another planet, it’s not physically possible, he is not physically possible.”
“So? You thought time travel was impossible.”
“Ponies that think they’re dead are also probably more likely to be violent.”
“Well I guess I could see how that would be a prob…”
*KNOCK KNOCK*
“You forgot the door Spike.”
(Roadside, Rise Against – The Sufferer & the Witness.)“I’m coming.”
James heard some shuffling towards the door. It opened to reveal a large reptile creature, James had already become accustomed to peculiarities at this point and was not surprised that the lizard had the capability of speech
“You’re really big”
“Thank you captain obvious, I’ve been told that already.”
“No you’re really big.”
“Is my size really that much different from the other ‘ponies’ that live here.”
“Yeah, you’re at least as tall as Princess Luna.”
“That’s nice.”
“Are the royalty really that much larger than everything else?”
“The royalty seem to be the largest ponies in existence”
“Again, thank you captain obvious.”
“You should not be smart mouthing your conscience.”
“Fine.”
“Is Twilight Sparkle here?”
“Yeah, she’s upstairs, TWILIGHT!!”
“What is it Spike?”
“You know that pony we were just talking about?”
“James? What about him?”
“Well he’s here.”
“Coming!”
Twilight came bursting out of her room with a somewhat excited look on her face and charged down the stairs getting right into James’ face.
“She’s kinda hot in a nerdy way… WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN!! SHE’S A FUCKING HORSE!!”
“Pony, and maybe your preferences changed when you moved into a new body, the same way you were used to running using all of your legs instead of just your back legs.”
“But still, SHE’S A FUCKING PURPLE UNICORN!”
“And your point is?”
“Hello again James, there’s so many questions I want to ask you.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, stop right there, I’m not going to be interrogated by you on my second day here.”
“No questions?”
“None.”
“Alright, what did you want.”
“First off, I have no place to stay in this place since and for as much as I know about flying, these wings are useless. So I need a place to stay and I guess flying lessons.”
“For the flying lessons you should talk to Rainbow Dash, as for the place to stay, I’ll have to ask around among my friends.”
“I would appreciate that, where can I find Rainbow Dash?”
“Your best bet would be to look for any clouds with a rainbow colored tail hanging off of it.”
“Clouds are static and support a pony?”
To which Twilight just looked at James incredulously. 
“Seriously brain, what the fuck.”
(So Sorry To Say, Celldweller.)
“Hey Rainbow Dash…”
No response.
“Rainbow Dash!!!”
Still no response.
“RAINBOW FUCKING DASH!!”
“WHAT!?!”
“Finally! I thought I was going to go hoarse trying to get your attention.”
“I see what you did there, and it wasn’t very funny.”
“What? Oh, that wasn’t intentional.”
“Fine, what did you want?”
“If I could get some flying lessons that’d be awesome.”
“Wait a second, you can’t fly?”
“Nope.”
At that Rainbow Dash jumped from the cloud she had been napping on and glided down to where Jim was standing.
“Not at all?”
“Would I be here asking for flying lessons if I knew how to fly?”
“Huh, you have to be the oldest Pegasus I know that doesn’t know how to fly.”
“Well thanks…”

“Hey Scootaloo, I know you’re hiding behind that bush.”
A small orange Pegasus with a purple mane and tail came crawling out of the bushes where she had thought to have been perfectly concealed, not realizing that her orange coat made her visible in even the thickest woods.
“Yeah Rainbow Dash?”
“Congratulations kid, your flight lessons start today.”
At that the small Pegasus became visibly excited. She had the prospect of learning how to fly, from her personal idol none the less.
“Really? You mean it? You’re finally gonna teach me how to fly?”
“Yeah squirt, it’s time you get off the ground. Besides, this guy seems kinda stuck up, it’d be kinda awesome if a little filly being taught the same stuff learned how to fly quicker than a fully grown colt.”
“I seem stuck up? Can she hear herself talking?”
“Rainbow Dash will always seem brash.”
“Fucking great, my conscience is now speaking in rhymes.”
“If you do not like me speaking in rhymes, perhaps I should talk some other time.”
“…Fuck you, and the insanity and hallucinations that spawned you.”
“Oh, you would do best to not wish that upon me, I might go… Crazy…”
“Oh yeah? What’s the worst you could do? Remove some memories? Go for it.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Dammit James, I’m trying to help you here, but I can’t do shit if you are busy being sorry for yourself. You need to grow the buck up and try to make the best of this that you can.”
“What was the original topic again?”
“I don’t rememb… You need to learn how to fly.”
“Right, I need to learn to fly from a blue and rainbow colored pony that has wings… Fucking medications…”
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Final notes here. Drunk me is a speed writing genius...