//------------------------------// // Stories Told // Story: Oddly in Tune // by Random_User //------------------------------// Flam looked over the press one last time, checking to make sure everything was ready. Once he was sure everything was set, he called out, “Alright, I think we’re good to go.” He gave the signal to Big Mac. “It’s all yours, big guy.” Big Mac started running on the treadmill at a conservative pace, and Apple Bloom fed the press buckets of apples. It took very little time for the resulting juice to flow into a waiting barrel. Flam smiled at the success. “Alright, everything’s good, go at your normal speed now.” Big Mac nodded, and started into a strong trot. The rate at which the juice started to flow caught Flam and Applejack off guard, they had to work fast to keep empty barrels under the press’ out spout. Granny yelled, “Young’uns, that’s all the apples, and that’s enough juice for today!” Big Mac slowed to a stop. He took off his goggles, and grinned ear to ear. “The treadmill’s much smoother now. Makes runnin’ a whole lot easier.” Applejack pointed to the filled barrels. “That’s not all that’s better, look at how much more we got out of the apples!” Flam looked at the output, and was pleased at the increase in yield. “Not bad at all. It’s amazing what a couple of tweaks to a machine will get you. Just wait till you set up for cider season next year. You should be able to keep the town in cider with no problem.” Apple Bloom danced around the press in delight. “Now nopony will have to go home disappointed about not getting their cider!” They began scrubbing out the machine. As they were scooping the pulp out of the press, Applejack asked, “Now that you’re done here, have you given any though as to what you’re goin’ to do next?” “Well, I’ve got a little place lined up so I can get off my buddy’s couch.” He looked over the pulp with a discerning eye, making sure that the material was consistent. “Once I get moved in, which won’t take ten minutes since all I have here could be put in a pair of saddle bags; I’ll look for job in earnest.” Apple Bloom asked, worried for Flam, “Don’t cha have stuff back with your family?” Apple Bloom’s tone nearly broke Flam’s heart. “Of course I do. Don’t worry about that. I had all my stuff in storage back in Canterlot. It didn’t make sense to me to pay for an apartment or house when I wasn’t going to be there, thanks to my job. I’ve arranged for everything to be shipped here. My stuff should be arriving here in a couple of days. My valuables and sentimental things are with my dad. I’ll have to go see him at some point, and I’ll pick them up then.” Granny poked Applejack with the handle of a scrubbing brush. “Don’t you go holding back on him, you hear? He’s been as good as his word and done right by us, don’t tease him.” Flam looked at Applejack, befuddled by Granny’s statement. “Don’t tease me about what?” Big Mac handed him an empty bucket. “That Berry Punch wants you to have a look at her grape press, and see if you could help her with it like you did ours.” Flam about fell in the press’ tank, he was so stunned. “You talked to her about what I had been doing?” Applejack grinned. “We market place ponies talk shop all the time. You also may be gettin’ business from Carrot Top, Goldengrape, and Hugh Jelly too.” She paused, after naming the last pony on her list. “You may want to talk to me before you work with Jelly. He’s kind of odd.” Flam had to fight to keep his emotions in check. He only partially succeeded. His voice shook as he told them, “I don’t know what to say. I still don’t think I’ve done right by you.” Big Mac patted Flam’s shoulder. Even using a small portion of his strength, he made Flam bow a little with each pat. “You’ve paid for the damage to our trees, helped us with the press, and have been right friendly. You’re alright by us.” Apple Bloom hugged him around the neck. “Flam don’t cry! What’s wrong?!” Flam kindly hugged her back, and did his best not to disappoint her, but tears still made their way down his cheeks. Granny smiled at the scene. “It’s alright Apple Bloom. Sometimes it’s good to let things out.” ***** Flam grunted, as he put the last of the boxes in its spot. “There, we’re done. I told you it wouldn’t take too long.” Lyra looked around the room. “We’re not done. We haven’t helped you unpack.” “Thanks for offering, but that’s not necessary. I’ll do that over time, room by room.” He laughed, as he thought of something. “I guess we’ll have to unpack a little. If not we’re going to be eating directly off the table and drinking straight from the bottle.” “We should at least put your bed together, that way you have somewhere to sleep other than the floor.” Bon-Bon tried to determine which of the boxes would contain the bed frame, but none seemed to the right shape or size. “Alright, which box is it?” “It’s not in a box.” Flam made his way over to a pile of bags, and pulled out one that was markedly bigger. “The bed is of Neighponesse design. It’s called a futon. There’s not a frame to the bed at all.” He unzipped the end of the bag and unrolled the bed. After putting a mat down, turning the futon right side up, and a couple of quick adjustments, he had it completely set up. “I like sleeping on the floor. After being on the road and sleeping under the stars all the time, it just feels right.” He started to look through the pile of bags again. “All I have to do is find my sheets and pillow, and I’ll be set.” Lyra grinned. “I like it. It’s simple, practical, and it looks comfortable as all get out.” Beat did not miss the opportunity, and joked. “You can test it out later, but first, pizza!” Bon-Bon shook her head. “Stallions and food, you could lure them to their doom with a pizza and a cold mug of hard cider.” “Yes, but we’d die with a full stomach and slightly buzzed. Not a bad way to go.” Beat led them towards the kitchen. “Now we have to decide, who will go get the pizza and who is staying to set things up?” “I’ll go get the pizza. You guys take it easy for a while.” Flam levitated his saddlebags onto his back. “I’ll be right back. Any toppings anypony particularly wants or is opposed to?” “Whatever doesn’t try to crawl off, I’ll eat.” Beat added, after a second, “Then again, if the topping doesn’t crawl off fast enough I might eat it anyway.” Bon-Bon blanched at the imagery. She answered queasily, “Anything but hot peppers is fine by me.” “I’ll go with you,” Lyra offered. Flam took off his hat, and made a small bow to her. “It would be a pleasure, to have such lovely company.” He opened the door, and they made their way out into the evening. Bon-Bon grinned over at Beat. “That worked well enough. I don’t think Flam had a clue.” “I think he does, but he doesn’t care.” He put his foreleg around Bon-Bon and whispered, “We could go through his stuff, and see if we can find any good blackmail material.” Bon-Bon laughed. “First, you don’t have to whisper, there’s nopony else here. Second, no, Flam’s got enough to worry about in his life without you tormenting him over his Playcolt magazines.” “So you saw them in a box somewhere. Which one was it?” Beat took a couple of steps as if he was going to Flam’s bedroom, only to have Bon-Bon grab his tail in her mouth. Through the mouthful of tail, she told him, “I was being sarcastic. If you want to go through boxes, there are plenty right here to go through. We need to find plates so we can eat.” “You’re no fun. Then again, this side of you is new and kind of kinky.” He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. She immediately released his tail, a blush starting on her cheeks. Turing back to their initial task, Bon-Bon started going through the boxes, searching for dinnerware. “Do you think that our absent dinner partners are enjoying their little walk?” “I’m not sure which of the two to be more concerned about, if they do decide to get involved.” Beat muttered, as he opened another box, without finding so much as a spoon. “There are only so many boxes. How could he have hidden the plates so well?” ***** As they sat and waited, in the parlor of Golden Crust’s Pizzeria, Flam slowly began to grin. Lyra caught his expression. “What is running through that head of yours?” “Our friends weren’t exactly subtle when they paired us up for this jaunt. Now, the question is, for me anyway, did you have a part in the planning of this outing or was it completely them setting us up?” She began to smile as well. “I don’t think I’ll answer right at the moment. I want to know what you think about either possibility.” His smile diminished slightly. “If it’s just them, I would hate to see them pushing you in a direction that you would rather not go.” “That’s very considerate.” She adjusted his hat, with a quick use of magic. She coolly asked, “If I was involved, what then?” He reached up and tilted his hat back to its original position, without even thinking about it. “I would be flattered that you would go through that much trouble.” He looked down, unable to meet her eyes for a moment. “I would also wonder what you saw in a con pony like me that would make you the least bit interested.” She shocked him by putting a hoof to his nose and capturing his eyes with her steady, golden gaze. Her voice was firm, as she told him. “You may have been a con pony, I don’t know your full story so I can’t judge, but you’re not a bad stallion. A bad stallion does not come into town looking for a way to make things right, while he is sleeping on a friend’s couch because his brother left him on the road over a fight over not taking advantage of others.” Flam weakly smiled. “You’re being far too kind.” “No, I’m not. You’re being too harsh on yourself. You didn’t leave your family; your brother abandoned you literarily. I left my family, so I know the difference.” Flam could not stop himself from brushing a stand of mane from her cheek. “What happened?” “Your pizzas are ready.” Golden Crust called from the counter. Lyra promised, “I tell you later, after you tell me your story.” “I’ll hold you to that.” He gave her a roguish wink, and walked over to the counter to pay for the pizzas. As two left the pizzeria, Golden rubbed his chin in thought. “The daughter of the Strings is involved with an ex con pony. Upper Crust will get a kick out of that.” He grinned as he thought, That’s certainly going to add a little something to the letter to sis. ***** The pizza mostly finished, and a couple of mugs of cider later each, the gathered friends unwound, and the conversation drifted from topic to topic aimlessly. Beat suddenly became serious, and looked to Flam. “I want to know something. It’s been on my mind, and I’m sure these two minds as well.” Flam raised his mug, as if in salute. “Ah the con business, I take it.” Beat nodded. The two mares shared expressions of morbid curiosity and worry that Flam would not take the question well. Flam took a long pull from his mug, and gently set it back on the table. “The whole thing started about two years ago. My father wrote Flim and me, telling us that the investors in his company wanted to see a little more return from the Super Squeezy project. We had been making bits, but they wanted more.” Bon-Bon guessed, “So you figured out a way to get more.” “Flam did the planning, I just went along for the ride. We typically offered farmers a one quarter to three quarters split on processing apples into cider, with the larger sum going to the farmers. Flam came up with the notion that we could try one third to two thirds.” Beat shrugged. “That’s not dishonest, that’s just business.” Flam regarded his mug for a moment; wishing things had stayed that simple. “That’s the way it started, and how it should have continued. We got good feedback from dad, and then not too long after that another message came telling us to push it a little more.” Flam took another pull from his mug, finishing it. “Flim’s special talent is maneuvering ponies into deals, leaving them with one slice of the apple, while he takes the rest. After we got the message, he began using that talent to the fullest. Soon, we were keeping enough of the profits to make it really hard for farmers to go through with the deals.” Lyra looked uncomfortable. “I think I see where this is going.” Flam glumly nodded. “One more letter from the company and Flim was pressing hard enough that if ponies were not careful with the deals they lost bits. Knowing what I did about Flim, I should have stopped him, but by that point, I was up to my neck. After giving farmers a raw deal a time or two, word began to spread about Flim and me. We started hoping from town to town, making sure not to stay in a place too long. Once our reputation caught up with us, there was always trouble.” Beat took a drink from his own mug, his expression darkening. “So you found yourselves outside of Sweet Apple Acres.” Flam grimly nodded. “He and I had been grousing back and forth about his tactics well before that. I was tired of making sour deals and having ponies run us out of town after town. I already felt like a sneak thief and sorry excuse of a pony, and wanted him to go back towards the way we had started things.” “He saw how disappointed the ponies in town were when they didn’t their cider and took advantage of it.” Bon-Bon almost whispered, as the realization hit her. “You got it in one.” Flam looked down and slowly turned his mug between his hooves. “He saw not only profits for a season, but by getting exclusive rights to sell cider in town we could get profits perpetually. Flam played Granny Smith like a fiddle, and the contest was set. I may not have been the most admirable pony up to that point, but stealing ponies’ homes was not what I signed up for when I took the job. Flim and I had a heated argument about what he was trying to pull. He tried to convince me that he just wanted to show the ponies in town what the Super Cider Squeezy 6000 could do, and then he would propose another deal to the apples. ‘A bit of high drama advertisement,’ is what he called it. I knew he was lying to me, and he fully intended to go through with his bet.” “And you did nothing. I wasn’t there, but I heard about it.” Beat glowered at Flam. “The Apples are my friends, have been for a while. You should be ashamed. They are the most hardworking, salt of the earth ponies you could ever come across.” Flam sadly smiled, as he poured himself a little more cider. “I know that now. They’re the ones that helped me get my current job with Berry Punch, even after all that I did to them and their farm.” He raised his mug. “This evening’s cider is from a batch that we ran to test the modifications I made to their cider making equipment. They generously gave me a couple of casks of our results. While I have gained some wonderful friends, it will always bother me knowing how I met them the first time.” He took a quick drink, and then continued, “I know you’re going to think I’m lying, but I did help them, just not overtly.” Lyra thought back over what happened that day. She tilted her head at some internal thought. “I remember you’re the one that agreed to let Applejack’s friends help.” “Yes, and I poked them with my added ‘it’s a lost cause’ comment.” Flam grinned. “Seemed to work too, they certainly picked up the pace.” Bon-Bon looked at him, almost with distrust. “Then why did you help Flim power up the machine?” “Ah, that was a fortuitous opportunity for me to help. I knew the machine would not operate properly with that much power running through it.” Flam tapped the side of his head. “I helped design the thing. Flim was the main salespony, with me as support. I was the one that kept the machine in working condition. He had no clue what would happen.” Beat’s expression lightened a little. “You tricked him.” Flam tilted his hat forward smugly. “I knew the machine would spend too much time sorting through garbage that it sucked up rather than making juice. It slowed down the process quite a bit, and the Apples caught up with the machine’s pace, and surpassed it. I had one more trick.” He rubbed his hoof on his chest in a self-satisfied manner. “I turned off the quality control when Flim panicked.” With those words from Flam, Beat’s grin was back. “No matter what happened with the number of barrels after that, they wouldn’t count.” Flam smiled and smacked the top of the table with a hoof. “Exactly, the deal was to count the number of barrels of cider, not barrels of leaf and dirt flavored liquid compost.” “You already knew you two had lost, why didn’t you do or say something right then?” Lyra looked up at him, waiting response. “Because Flim, unscrupulous as he can be, is still my brother and I did not want to have a rolling fight with him in front of a crowd. I knew we had lost, and it was just a matter of time before ponies figured out the scam with the ruined cider. He inadvertently helped speed us getting thrown out of town by pulling one of the bad batches and serving it first.” Lyra smiled, knowing the climatic part of the story was coming. “So the blow up happened later? We know you were on the road when it happened, but what triggered it?” “Our trip to Appleoosa was the final straw for me. We had to stop on the road for a couple of days so I could repair the Super Squeezy and clean it out. Using that much power had beaten up the machine pretty badly, and we won’t even discuss what came out of the press and the filters.” Flam shuddered for a moment, recalling the ill smelling and slimy mixture. “The whole time we worked, Flim and I argued over his stunt. After I pressured him enough, he promised to not try that again.” Bon-Bon looked skeptical. “I doubt he could keep himself from trying again.” “We’ll never know if he would have or not. When we made it to Appleoosa, every pony raced to the orchard and hid behind barricades. I learned from Applejack, while working for the Apples, that she had sent letters to all their family warning them about Flim and me. A pony dressed in a vest and hat told us that we were not welcome in their town. Flim made the mistake of telling him to trust us. The whole town responded by throwing pies at us until we left.” Flam put his head down on the table and covered his face with his hoofs. “I will never eat another apple pie again, as long as I live.” Beat pounded the table as he laughed. Bon-Bon tried to contain her mirth, to be polite, but failed. Lyra had to gasp for breath she was laughing so hard at the mental image of Flam covered in pie horn to hoof. Without waiting for them to stop laughing, Flam calmly moved on, “We made a hasty retreat, and found a place to clean ourselves and the Super Squeezy off. Flim and I barely spoke to each other, until we got back on the road for a bit. When we started talking again, it got tense quickly. I had had enough. I told Flim that nothing was worth being greeted in a new town like that, and I was going to turn in my resignation.” Beat finally got himself under control enough to talk. He wheezed, “Knowing Flim, I’m sure that didn’t sit well.” “He told me I was not keeping in mind what was best for the family and for the business. I made it plain that I didn’t give a flying parasprite what he thought, and I was out. He called me something I won’t repeat, and then hit me.” Flam reached up and rubbed his cheek, remembering the blow. “Needless to say, I did not take that well. We fought. I ended up losing my hat and falling off the machine. I had to do some fancy dodging to keep from being run over by the back wheels. When that lamprey of a brother of mine saw that I hadn’t been badly hurt, he kept right on going, and left me in the middle of the road.” Flam sighed, “And you know the rest.” “I knew your brother was a piece of work, but I had no clue he would sink that far.” Beat growled into his mug, as took a swig. Lyra poked him in the shoulder. “You’re not a con pony. Flim pressuring them or not, those ponies took the deals offered, you should remember that. You didn’t do anything illegal. You were just a little on the gray side, where morals are concerned, when the profits didn’t pan out for the farmers.” Bon-bon agreed. “You helped when it mattered. You kept a family from losing their home. You can’t beat yourself up over what happened with the business.” Flam gave them both a nod and a smile. “Thank you. I still intend to do something for the farmers that lost bits on the deals we made.” Lyra took a swig from her mug large enough to empress both Beat and Flam. Bon-Bon hardly batted an eye, having lived with her for a while and seeing her do something of the sort before. Lyra thunked her mug down on the table. “Alright, I promised that when I heard your story I would tell mine. Well here it is.” Bon-Bon reached over and shook Lyra. “You don’t have to right now. You’ve had a bit to drink.” Lyra looked at Bon-Bon in disbelief. “Sweetie, we all know it’s not Apple Acres Hard cider.” Bon-Bon’s eyes narrowed at Lyra’s use of her real name, but she let it slide. Lyra put on an empty smile as she began her story. “My family, particularly my mother, wanted me to marry up in the world. They controlled what stallions I dated, who my friends were, they dictated my entire social life down to the smallest detail. I made the mistake of letting my mother talk me into dating Prince Blueblood. He was the most self-centered, narcissistic, misogynistic stallion I have ever come across. After that, I knew I had to get away from their control. If they were willing to offer me up to such an ass for their own benefit, they certainly didn’t have my wellbeing in mind. I moved here, kept up my lute playing, and Bon-Bon let me help in her shop.” Flam winced in sympathy. “Prince Blueblood was your coltfriend? Ouch. I’ve heard nothing but bad things about him. Well, other than he can guide an airship through a thunderstorm blindfolded.” “That must be about the only constructive thing he can do, because I certainly didn’t see him do anything else that even came close to being useful.” Lyra fumed. “Thank you for telling me your story, but I hate that doing so drug up such bad memories. I have something that will make you feel better.” Flam turned his head, and using his magic retrieved a plain white box that he had tucked away in a cabinet, and placed it in the center of the table. He waited for a moment, in order to add a little drama and to let his guest’s minds wonder about its contents. “I present to you one of Pinkie’s own creations.” He lifted the cover off the box with a flourish. Inside the box was a magnificent chocolate cake. Bon-Bon examined the cake with a professional eye. “She never ceases to amaze me. I may have the corner on chocolates and candies, but she and the Cakes have the upper hoof on confections.” She leaned back, and gave them all a cautionary look. “You realize we’re all going to have sugar rushes, not to mention chocolate overload, from this.” “It will be worth it.” Flam levitated appropriate serving implements from the kitchen, and a tub of ice crème from his refrigerator. “After I apologized to her for what I put her through at the Apples, I ordered this from her as a surprise for you three for helping me move back in. I promised Pinkie I would share the cake with you three after we finished.” Beat froze. “You gave her a Pinkie Promise, full motions and all?” Flam raised an eyebrow, confused by Beat’s serious tone. “Yeah, is there something I need to know about that?” Lyra vigorously nodded. “Never, ever, break a Pinkie promise. The last pony that did still won’t talk about what happened after he did.” “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.” Flam began to serve the cake and ice crème, making sure each had a health portion. “I’ve had enough traumatic events here lately. I don’t want to tempt another.” Bon-Bon hummed, as she tasted the cake. “Delicious as always, speaking of Pinkie, have you apologized to all of the Elements yet?” “The Elements,” Flam asked, one of his ears folding back quizzically at the use of the unfamiliar term. Lyra started to laugh, but quickly covered her mouth with a hoof. “He doesn’t know.” Bon-Bon explained, “Applejack’s friends that helped her that day are the Elements of Harmony.” Flam’s eyes widened in fear at the revelation. It took him a moment to wrap his mind around the news. “You mean the Elements that defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord?” Beat said, through a mouthful of cake, “The very same.” “Oh horse apples, I’m bucked.” Flam blanched as his mind came up with all kinds of horrible scenarios that could unfold from his unintentional mistreatment of Equestria’s national heroes. Lyra waved his concerns away. “Nah, if you were, the fallout from the contest would have hit you by now. They’re pretty laid back. Well, except for Twilight. She can get a little high strung at times, especially when she thinks she’s going to fail Celestia.” Flam started to sink to the floor. “Fail princess Celestia?” Lyra swallowed her bite of cake. “She’s Celestia’s personal student.” “Flam, you alright,” Beat asked, as he watched his friend collapse to the floor. Flam’s voice trembled, as he stated with certainty, “I’m going to be banished.” Lyra could not believe the charming, self-assured stallion that had entertained them all evening had turning into a hyperventilating shell of himself so quickly. She made her way over to him and gave him a comforting hug. “No, you’re not. You’ve apologized to them, right?” Flam nodded. Lyra gently asked, “Did they seem upset at you?” “No. Rainbow Dash even thanked me for allowing her to ‘spend some fun, sweaty time with a hunk of a stallion,’ if I’m quoting her right. I couldn’t tell with Fluttershy whether she was still upset or not. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, she talked so quietly.” His breathing slowed back to an almost a normal rate, as he regained a grasp on himself. “Then that’s the end of it. I know all of the Elements. If they had a problem with you, you would know it. Since Celestia or the guards haven’t shown up either, you’re safe.” She released him, and shook his shoulders lightly. “You worry too much. You’re going to end up a nervous, twitchy, mental wreck like Bon-Bon if you don’t watch it.” “Hey! I’m not that bad.” Bon-Bon pointed her fork in Lyra’s direction and poked the air as she spoke. “Just because I take things seriously does not mean I have issues.” Beat leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I certainly don’t see anything wrong with you.” Bon-Bon pointed towards Beat. “See, he agrees with me.” Beat caught her hoof, before she could put it back down, and kissed it as well. “I didn’t say you don’t have issues, I just don’t see anything wrong with them. I like calming you down, after you have one of your fits.” It took a moment for Bon-Bon to recover from Beat’s bold statement. When she did regain her mental balance, she began lightly pummeling him with her hooves.