//------------------------------// // Do you even praise the sun? // Story: It only gets weirder-er // by Aiet //------------------------------// I was woken up by cold water being tossed on me. I blinked the water out of my eyes and spat it out of my mouth as a guard walked in, roughly pulling me up to my feet. He marched me out and back to the same place as before. Today he wasted no time, didn't even unbind my hands and tie me up, no the ugly green dragon just tarted beating me. He kept punching me in the face and stopped only to kick me in the stomach. With one finally punch he knocked my onto the floor and I laid there spitting out a tooth. “Aww man, that was my favorite tooth.” he glared at me as he walked over to a large pot I hadn't seen that sat over a fire. “Unfortunately for you we no longer have any use of you.” he clicked open the cover of the pot and bubbling oil sloshed with in. “Oh deep fry, thirteen spices?” he quickly came over to me and picked me up by my hair to my knees. “What is wrong with you? Don't you realize you are going to die?!” he snorted in my face and I looked at him with a bloody grin. “We all die sooner or later.” he let go of me and walked back to the pot. “Unfortunately for you it will be sooner.” he turned to me with a dark smile and was about to walk to me when a loud bang stopped him. He turned and look at the door to the dungeon as a lanky purple dragon walked in. “What's happening?” the torturer asked as the dragon took off the helmet hiding it's face, green spikes coming up. As my bindings fell to the floor I rushed forward and slammed into the green dragon, pushing him into the boiling oil and the lid falling with a click. From in sides was screams of agony as the lock kept the cover from opening. Just another scream to haunt my dreams. “Meason!” the dragon rushed down and had me lean on him for support. “Spike?” I looked confused at the dragon who looked like an older version of him. “Come on we need to get out of here.” he helped me up the stairs and out the dungeon. More loud explosions sounded through out the castle causing soldiers to run around. Soon we were out in the court yard with the front gates in sight. “Come on we're-” “Don't let them escape!” we looked back to see a large group of guards coming after us. Spike picked up the pace and I tried my best to run. We got out the gates but they were closing fast. We made our way over a hill when we were in trouble. “Uh oh!” “What do you mean 'uh oh'? The armor Spike was wearing started to get to big for him and he started getting smaller. “The spell is wearing off!” we kept going but then we ran out of ground as we came to a cliff edge. The armor was to much and Spike fell forward still in the chest plate, then we were surrounded. Spike got out the armor and stood in front of me as I looked over the cliff. A stallion lunged at Spike with his sword but I was faster. Spike closed his eyes waiting for the killing blow but it never came, instead the blade was sunk to the hilt in my left hand between the bones of the middle and ring finger. I kicked him back and the sword jerked with him, going upwards and cutting through the rest of my hand leaving it nearly in two with two fingers on one side and the other three on the other side. I stepped back and grabbed Spike with my still working hand. “Looks like you're going to fly early!” I spun around and flung him off the edge and watched as he dropped from sight. Then a blur of rainbow and purple shot up as Rainbow Dash flew with him safely in her arms. I was taken down by the guards and dragged back to the castle. There was holes in the stone from the magic infused bombs Rainbow Dash had been dropping. I was lead to the throne room where an angry king sat. “If only you could behave. Now I have to send them your head on a pike.” I was forced to kneel with my hands tied behind my back, blood still pouring from my ruined hand. I was getting light headed. “You were so beauti-” a loud explosion interrupted the king and behind us a large section of the right wall fell in and a very large red dragon hissed angrily. I kicked out and knocked down the guard next to me before jumping up and running to the dragon. Unable to use my arms I slid to him and wrapped my legs around his large arm. “Fly you idiot!” I said as he shot down fire to keep the guards away. Backing out of the hole he turned and with a mighty leap took off into the air. “I'll show you an idiot when I drop you.” he growled at me as we flew off. The castle was shrinking in the distance as I watched upside down from the dragon's arm but I was still bleeding and my vision started to blur. I couldn't help it as my legs relaxed and I slowly slipped off the dragon. The last thing I remembered was something soft, multiple sets of wings, brushing against me. Travis paced up and down the hall of the infirmary. I had been brought back nearly gray and nasty lashes all over my back. Right now the doctor did everything she could for me. Then four of the mane six came, Twilight and Rarity still missing. “Is he...” Applejack started but the door opened and the doctor stepped out. They all waited for the news. “How is he doctor?” Travis asked nervously as the blond mare looked up at him. “We managed to put the hand back together and get ride of the whip marks.” the mares let out sighs of relief but Travis was still worried. “Ok but how is he?” the mare looked at him confused but then understood. “I don't know how being tortured is like but we think he'll be ok.” then from in side a loud voice yelled out. “Get your hoof off my ass! What the hell are you doing?” “SIXTY THREE!” Travis shook his head with a sigh. “He's fine.” he walked past the doctor and into the room where I was resting on the bed. “Hey there ass hole.” I said as Travis came closer. He didn't react or anything, he just sat down at the edge of the bed. After a few moments of silence he spoke. “Ya know we couldn't find ya. Ah was sure yer were dead...” aww he cared about me, how sweet. “Die? Yeah right, not until I get to watch you and Luna do it so I know you really aren’t a virgin.” I grinned at him and he just shook his head, getting up to leave. As he left the girls came in to see me. After a little bit of tears and hugs they left me to get some sleep. I wasn't sure how long it had been but I woke up to the sound of the door opening and two mares walking. “Hello darling.” it was Rarity and she had a sad look on her face. I smiled as I sat up and then saw Twilight behind her unable to look up at me. She slowly walked up to the bed with her head hung low. “At least I'm alive.” I said and she couldn't take it any more as she jumped up on the bed hugging me while crying. I hugged her back and ran a hand through her mane to calm her down. See Twilight had been the spy, well actually a double agent. We had no idea where the king's castle was so we had a plan. The plan was to get some one in side with a magical tracker then cause some damage before rescuing the in side man. This was what Luna needed to talk to me about when she told me about the spy and then about the plan but not telling me who it was. That one day everything went according to plan. Well except the being tortured part. While Rarity distracted the guards Twilight gave me a small knife to free my self. Like I said no one but the two and Luna knew who the 'spy' was and when the purple strip in her hair fell out I knew it was her. “I-if I had known...” she said as she cried in my arms. It wasn't her fault, I knew what I was getting into. After awhile she calmed down and got down from the bed. They both left and I laid back don to sleep but about ten minutes later the door opened once again. It was Celestia. “Hello Meason.” she came in and softly closed the door. I just sighed and said nothing. “No yelling?” she asked as she came closer. “No, don't have the energy.” I heard her sigh in relief as she came to the right side of my bed. “Then will you let me talk?” I just looked at her as she watched me. “Sure.” over the next few minutes she told me why she had been ignoring me. “Well... I feel like a complete ass hole.” I said and she chuckled. “Then let's start over. I am Princess Celestia.” I looked at her and smiled, no more anger. “I'm Meason.” then she started to get on the bed and softly laid down on me, I became really confused. “Here let me apologize for making you feel like I was being rude to you.” she slowly lowered her muzzle to my mouth. So keeping this teen and not having the sex tab lets just say the next couple of hours were the best apology I have ever got. Luna and Travis were coming to visit me and when they opened the door they both went wide eyed. “Can we try that?” Travis asked Luna as neither took their eyes off us. “Only if you be a good boy.” she said as they closed the door quietly, we never heard them open it in the first place. Afterwords I was finally left alone to get some sleep but now I could barely move my hips which was fine with me. I woke up the next day and was surprise to find my self in a bed and not a cell floor. It took me a second to remember I was no longer a prisoner... of King G'afssa. The next few days went by pretty quick with Celestia making sure I got my daily dose of vitamin D and I made sure she did too. I was finally released and made my way to the kitchen. I knew they were serving me food from here but my mind was like 'hospital food' and it just tasted nasty. Along they way I meet a very sick looking Twilight. “Are you ok?” asked her as she leaned against the wall. “I'm suppose to be giving a speech in a few minutes but I feel terrible.” I looked her over again. The shakes, the sweats, and the pudgy stomach. “When's the last time you used the bathroom?” she looked at me confused. I don’t remember how long it's been but those were the sign’s of the Anal Destroyer about to live up to it's name. “You should go to the bathroom... now.” she was still confused but then she went wide eyes and with a flash of light she teleported away. From the floor above I could her screams of agony and I chuckled. Then a mare came by looking swiftly everywhere. “Have you seen Miss Sparkle? She's due in five minutes for the speech.” I was about to shake my head but then I stopped. “She came down with... something. I'll be taking her place.” she looked at me then shrugged, motioning for me to follow her. She lead me to a balcony that had war officials and citizens ten feet below. I clapped my hands and spoke. “Wardrobe.” the mare looked at me confused when suddenly a curtain dropped in front of me and ponies rushed behind it. When it lifted I was wearing a black silk Italian suit. “Flawless? Check.” “Make up.” I went to sit down and a chair pulled up beneath me. Different ponies came this time and applied the necessary make up was applied. I stood up once again. “Flawless once more? Double check.” I stepped pass the mare and onto the balcony to a podium. There was a magical speaker to amplify my glorious voice for all to hear. “In the place of Twilight Sparkle, who as fallen ill most likely due to enemy efforts, I, Meason, will give you her speech.” I looked down at the podium where a stack of cards sat. I picked them up and thumbed through them before tossing them away. “A warning to the people...” I started off with a slight echo in my voice. “To the good and the evil. This is war. To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr, the victim... This is war.” I could see Travis down below face palming (this is totally original and not a rip off). “It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie, the moment to live and the moment to die. The moment to fight, the moment to fight. To fight... to fight... TO FIGHT!” this was getting the crowd riled up. “To the right, to the left, we will fight to the death! To the edge of the world. It's a brave new world form the last to the first. Because... THIS IS WAR!” the crowd erupted into cheers and I bowed. I turned and left with a large grin. I'm such the motivational speaker.