But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!
– Excerpt from Robert Burns’ “To a Mouse”

Chapter 1: A Bad Spell

Twilight burst into the room, looking around frantically for some sort of inspiration. Using her magic, she grabbed several books from the bookshelves and began to quickly scan through them, hoping to find something of use.

“No, no, no!” Twilight said worriedly. “None of these books are giving me any ideas. It feels like everything’s been done before.”

Spike sat nearby, chewing on a bit of amethyst. “Jeez, Twilight. Calm down. What’s the big hurry?”

“Spike, I need to create a new spell for the Magic’s Day Festival in Canterlot,” Twilight explained. “Princess Celestia has asked me to demonstrate some new magic for the unicorns at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”

Spike laughed. “Is that all? I bet you could make a new spell in your sleep.”

Twilight stopped scanning the books and ran over to Spike, looking straight in his eyes. “But that’s just it. I don’t have anything new that’s impressive. I can’t just go out there and show them something like the spitting colors spell.” She dashed back to frantically searching her books.

“Twilight, you are seriously overthinking this,” Spike consoled. “Why don’t you just go see your friends for some inspiration?”

Twilight lit up. “That’s it! I’ll get inspiration from my friends! Ohh, you’re the best, Spike.” And with that, Twilight rushed out of the house towards Sugarcube Corner.

“Dude, you should have seen it! It was epic! You should have been there, Mark.”

I had just picked Lucas up from the skating rink, and was headed back to my place. Lucas was rambling on in his standard fast-talking too-much-coffee voice about a trick his friend Mike did that day at the rink. It was a Thursday evening, and it was starting to get dark. I never liked driving in the dark, especially with someone like Lucas distracting me.

I was getting a bit frustrated with his ramblings. “I told you, I had to finish working on the project that WE are supposed to be doing. Why is it that I always end up doing all the work?”

“What do you mean, all the work?” Lucas said defensively. “I helped too, you know.”

“As in, you came up with the title,” I stated. “Meanwhile, I had to stay at the library reading about this star alignment thing while you goofed off at the skate park.”

“Well, I couldn’t have left them hanging like that,” Lucas defended. “I just HAD to show them that trick I came up with, which, you have to admit, was AWESOME!”

“Either way, you’re lucky my night was open,” I told him. “Normally on a night like tonight, I would be brainstorming for D&D campaigns.”

“You really should get out more.” He thought for a moment. “Maybe you should come to one of my skateboard competitions. Yeah, that sounds good.”

“But, I…” I started to protest. Before I could finish my statement, Lucas jumped up.

“Oh good, we’re here. Come on.” He dashed out of the car and into my house.

Down at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was putting some cookies on the counter for an order when she saw a peculiar cloud of dust approaching from down the road.

Twilight ran up to Pinkie, stopping just in time to avoid slamming into her. “Hey, huff, Pinkie Pie, huff,” Twilight gasped, out of breath. “I need, huff, some help.”

“Well sure!” Pinkie Pie said in her usual Pinkie manner. “What do you need help in? Did Zecora get shrunk? Are rabid butterflies attacking the town? Did Spike fall down the well again?”

“No, no, and not this time,” Twilight explained. “I need help in thinking up a new spell to impress some little unicorns. I need it for the Magic’s Day Festival”

“Well, I don’t know much about magic, but I think a spell that makes candy fall from the sky would be about the best thing EVER!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

“That’s been done before,” Twilight said. “I need something new, something impressive, something that will make the Princess proud.”

Pinkie Pie gaped at Twilight. “You can do that? You HAVE to do that spell at our next party! Everypony will LOVE it!”

“Yeah, I’ll try to do that next time. In the meantime, I need to figure out what I should do for the Magic’s Day Festival,” Twilight said.

“Well, maybe you should talk to Fluttershy. I’ll bet she will want to help!” Pinkie Pie said excitedly.

Twilight thought for a moment. “Yeah, I think I’ll do that. See you later, Pinkie.”

“Oki doki loki!” Pinkie Pie said before going back inside to finish the order.

I got out of the car and walked up to the house. Hanging above the door is a sign that said “Beware of Dragons”, and I touched it out of habit as I walked through the door. When I got inside, the house was pretty much how it has always been. The main parts of the house, such as the living room, kitchen, hallways, etc., have been cleaned up by my parents. Since we never really eat at the dining room table, it had become my own personal cave of nerdness. The table still had the mat and figures on it from last night’s D&D game. I walked into the kitchen to find Lucas already half-way through a can of Mountain Dew.

Lucas always was a bit of an eccentric. He was tall and lanky, with black hair that combed over smoothly. He was wearing his favorite skating shirt, a red T-shirt with “Skate to Live” written on the front. I, however, have always been a shut-in. I am short and thin, and the only cool-looking thing about me is my fiery-red hair that refused to lie down no matter how much brushing or combing you took to it. I was wearing my usual ensemble; khakis and a light-blue collar shirt.

“Dude, don’t drink so much,” I said. “You’re already as hyped up as a squirrel on coffee. Are you trying to vibrate or something?”

“No, just getting ready for tonight,” He explained. “We’re going to be out there for a while, you know. But for now, CALL OF DUTY TIME!” He then dashed over to where my Xbox was and started it up.

“OK, I just got to get something from my room,” I said. I then said “I’ll be back” in my best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression before I headed up to my room.

I have sometimes been called the epitome of nerdness. My house, other than the parts that my parents clean, has been somewhat of a train wreck. My room has miniatures, game guides, and some R. A. Salvatore books scattered all over the floor. My trusty DM’s Guide was under my pillow where it had always been, and I had various character and monster designs and concept art stapled all over my room. I grabbed my DM’s guide and went out of my room.

“Aww, yeah, EAT IT!” I heard from the other room. I walked back into the living room to find Lucas, corndog in mouth, shooting up people in Call of Duty. “Stop camping, you fag. It doesn’t work.”

“Well, tonight, there are 4 stars that are supposed to align with earth. Those stars are normally too small to see, but when they align, they will have enough power to shine all the way to earth.”

I checked the clock. “Nah, it’s only 6. The alignment doesn’t start until 10. Hey, sign me in. I’m gonna go grab me a bite to eat.”

Twilight ran up to Fluttershy’s house, only to see Applejack there too, getting ready to pull a cart. Fluttershy was busy putting various vegetables into the cart.

“Oh, hi Applejack,” Twilight said. “I was wondering if you guys could help me with something.”

“Well, sugar-cube, we’re a mite busy right now,” Applejack said as more food was piled into the cart.

“I’m trying to come up with a new spell for the Magic’s Day Festival in Canterlot,” Twilight explained.

“Well,” Applejack grunted, “a spell that will help me get these here, *groan*, vegetables over to them animal dens would be mighty appreciative.”

“We don’t know much about magic,” Fluttershy whispered. “Maybe you should ask Rarity.”

“That’s a great idea. I think I’ll do that. See you guys later.” Twilight ran from Fluttershy’s house down the path to the Carousel Boutique.

I was gathering supplies for the expedition. Living in Baton Rouge, there were few places where the lights of the city would not drown out the stars. We were planning to go into the woods behind my house and lay down in that clearing to watch the alignment and take notes. Lucas insisted we bring his skateboard, even though we were going to be on grass most of the time.

Lucas replied, “I’m in the middle of a multiplayer game. I can’t jus-; AWW, COME ON!” he yelled at the screen. “You were supposed to be watching my back. What is WRONG with these people?”

About 20 seconds later, the match ended, and Lucas was raging. “Let me play another! We have time, and I got to show these people how a REAL master plays.”

“Nope, sorry!” I said, as I turned off the Xbox. “Now let’s go. We won’t be able to set up if we don’t leave right now.”

“Ugh, fine,” Lucas resigned. “But when we get back, I’ll show this jerk who’s the boss.”

He got up and dashed around the house, grabbing things he needed, including his skateboard. He was done in about 20 seconds while I took 2 minutes to get my supplies.

“Ok, let’s go!” Lucas exclaimed. He ran out the house towards the little path we created to the clearing.

“Hmm?” Rarity said nonchalantly. She set down the fabric and turned to meet Twilight. “Yes, darling, what is it you need?”

“I need help in coming up with a new spell to show off at the Magic’s Day Festival in Canterlot,” Twilight rushed. “I was selected by Princess Celestia to show the young fillies and colts in Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”

“Well, that is a sticky situation, now isn’t it?” Rarity looked around for some inspiration, and then looked out the window towards Canterlot. “Hmm, now there’s an idea.”

“I was just thinking about how long it takes to get to Canterlot by train,” Rarity explained. “Maybe we could come up with a way to teleport longer distances.”

“I thought of that, but there is a problem,” Twilight said. “The amount of energy needed to teleport longer distances is massive, even more than I have.”

“Well,” Rarity thought aloud, “what if we got the energy from another source?”

“Well there’s an idea,” Twilight said. “We could use the force-to-magic spell to fuel the teleport. But what could possibly give us enough energy to get us far enough?”

“Hmm,” Rarity said. They both brainstormed a bit about the problem. Then, it hit them.

“Dude, this walk is creepy,” Lucas muttered. “What if something was watching us right now? They could, you know. There could be, I don’t know, an axe murderer, or something, right behind that tree, and we would never know, and—,” I cut him off there.

“Don’t worry,” I told him. “Only me and Janie know about this clearing.”

“Janie?” Lucas questioned. “You mean that girl who comes to play your nerd games on Wednesday? Man, how did you score a hot chick like her?”

“She’s a friend, not a ‘hot chick’,” I explained. “And it’s not a nerd game; it’s a fantasy-based Role Playing Game.”

We walked the rest of the way in silence. It took 20 about minutes to get there, and I made a mental note to congratulate him for the longest he has been both silent and conscious at the same time. We finally got to the clearing, and I started to unravel the cloth we were to sit on.

“I don’t know about you,” I said, “but I brought a good friend with me.” I took out my DM’s Guide and my notepad and started brainstorming ideas for a new campaign.

“I’m supposed to do WHAT?” Rainbow Dash questioned, staring incredulously.

“It’s simple,” Twilight explained. “All you have to do is fly at me and do a sonic rainboom when you hit me. My magic will do the rest.”

“I heard you the first time,” Rainbow Dash defended. “But, I mean, you saw what happened to Applejack’s old barn when I hit it. It was demolished!”

“Yes, but Rarity will be standing nearby,” Twilight explained, “and will make a protection bubble around me in case something goes wrong.”

I looked up. He was right of course. The stars had been out for a while, but a faint sparkle could be seen where the stars should be. It was growing brighter, albeit very slowly.

“It’s your project, too,” I explained. “You should take notes on it too.”

“Ok, I’m going to send a small beam of light to where we should be arriving,” Twilight said as a beam of light shot out from her horn into the sky. “That way, other ponies know to stay away from the area.”

“Aren’t we going to teleport to a field?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I thought it was supposed to be an EMPTY field.”

“It is,” Twilight explained. “It’s just a safety precaution, that’s all. Go ahead and get high up. When the beam turns yellow, that’s your cue to start.” Rainbow Dash flew up into the sky and disappeared.

Twilight’s horn started to glow purple as she prepared the force-to-magic spell. Rarity took that cue to put up the protection bubble, and a white bubble appeared around Twilight, with just the tip of her horn poking out. Twilight grunted as she started the teleportation spell. Her beam of light turned yellow, signaling Rainbow Dash to start heading down. Rainbow Dash strained as she picked up speed, going faster and faster. Twilight was approaching fast, and Rainbow Dash put on the speed. Rarity hid behind a tree. At the last moment, a giant flash of light erupted from Twilight’s horn.

A beam of white light shone down from the skies, landing on our table cloth. It was like a white laser, like something that would come from a laser pointer.

“Check it out!” Lucas said excitedly. He swished his hand back and forth through the beam of light. “It’s like a laser pointer.”

“That’s because it probably is a laser pointer,” I reasoned. “We are near a favored parachuting spot. I heard a plane pass by a minute ago. There might be parachuters with laser pointers coming down.”

“Really? Do you have to be such a buzz kill?” Lucas asked. “Why can’t you just let the magic of the moment continue?”

“I’m just being logical, that’s all,” I told him. “Oh great, now it’s turning yellow. Someone up there must be trolling us.”

I approached the yellow beam, passing my hand through it. It shined on it just like a laser pointer. “See, nothing mysterious abouAAAAAHHH!”

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, making me feel like the world was tipping.

We landed on the ground, dazed and confused. It turned out we only fell about 5 feet, but it still hurt.

“Ow, my head,” Lucas said, staggering to his feet. “What the hell happened?”

“Huh?” Lucas questioned. “I don’t feel anything. Where are we, anyway?”

I looked around. We were on a grassy hill, with no buildings in sight. The only other thing was a nearby tree.

“I don’t know,” I told him. “I don’t think we’re in Baton Rouge anymore, Toto.”

“Well, we should probably find somebody. Maybe they can tell us something,” Lucas said.

I heard a noise coming from the tree. “Hello?” I asked. “Is anyone there? I thin--- Ugh.” I doubled over, feeling sick to my stomach.

“Something feels really bad,” I said. “It feels like, I don’t know, like the held breath is about to come out.”

“Well, I don’t feel anything. Maybe we should—AAAAGGHHH!” Lucas and I screamed at the same time as pain shot through my body. It felt like I was being torn apart. Within seconds, I blacked out.

An explosion erupted from the clearing, as two ponies appeared and subsequently smashed into the ground at supersonic speeds.

“Where are we?” Twilight asked. “We were supposed to appear in a clearing.”

“I don’t know, maybe you were off by a couple hundred feet,” Rainbow consoled. “It’s no big deal. That was a test run; I didn’t expect it to go perfectly.”

Rainbow Dash looked down at the crater they were now standing in. “Next time we should find a way to dampen the power of the sonic rainboom. I don’t want to make craters every time we want to go somewhere.”

“I feel a wave of magic coming towards us,” Twilight said, sounding worried.

“Well,” said Rainbow Dash, “we should probably find somepony whAAAAAGGH!” Rainbow Dash and Twilight screamed at the same time, falling to the ground, unconscious.

Everything was dark, and I couldn’t feel anything, which was kind of a good thing, considering how much pain I was in a few moments ago.

“Hello? Who is this?” asked a voice, female, inside my mind. “What is going on here?”

I was surprised that there was another voice in my mind, if this really was my mind.

“I don’t know,” I explained. “I was out in the woods when this beam of light appeared. There was a huge flash of light, and me and my friend appeared on top of a grassy hill in the middle of nowhere. Then, there was a flash of pain, I fell unconscious, and, well, here I am.”

“Same thing happened to me, in a way,” she said, sounding a bit guilty. “Only I started on top of the hill, and appeared in a forest.”

“Hmm, very strange,” I said. “Maybe we… hold on. Something’s happening.”

And indeed something was. My vision was turning from black to white, as if waking up. I felt like I was being pulled out of a deep dream.

“He’s coming to!” someone said excitedly. I opened my eyes. The sun was shining, and it stung my eyes. I squinted and tried to look around, but I immediately began to feel dizzy. My head was pounding, and I decided it wasn’t worth the effort to get up.

“Where… where am I?” I asked. Suddenly, I heard Lucas bolt up beside me, then immediately lay back down.

“Oh, good. Y’all are both awake,” said a female voice with a Texan accent. I looked up and saw the most peculiar sight, an orange horse with yellow hair staring down at me.

“Woah, woah, what?” I gaped. “Talking horse, talking horse. I must be going crazy. Am I going crazy, Lucas?”

“If you’re going crazy, Mark,” Lucas said, “then I must be, because I see it too. And it’s flying.”

It took a little effort, but eventually I sat up. I looked around. I saw the orange horse that spoke earlier, as well as a white one with violet hair. I gasped, for on top of its head was a horn. I was looking at a unicorn. A UNICORN! Now, I knew fantasy, and I knew that unicorns were magical creatures of benign qualities that were not to be messed with. Chaotic Good, as I recall.

Across the way I saw another horse, this one pink all over, and a yellow pegasus with pink hair, standing and hovering by, you guessed it, yet another horse, this one another pegasus. It was red with black hair, and it seemed strangely familiar.

“Ok, what the HECK?” I exclaimed. “We appear on a hill, I get this crazy-ass dream, and I wake up in horse world. This can’t be real. Who’s the DM?”

The horses looked at each other, and then the unicorn spoke to me. “Ehem, excuse me? We are not ‘horses’. We are Ponies.”

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!” I heard Lucas muttering. “There are freakin PONIES talking to me. I mean, they talk, one of them flies. What if they decide to take us captive because we’re humans? I don’t want to die!”

“I don’t think they want to take us captive, Luke.” I turned towards his voice. “They seem pretty friendly and… hey, where are you?”

Then I saw the red pony with black hair look in my direction. “Mark, man, where are you?” What I heard was Lucas, but what I saw was the red pony talking.

The red pony just stared at me, obviously freaked out. I looked down, and nearly flipped backwards. My hands were now hoofs. My body was a light-blue color, same as my shirt was. My hair, or mane, I guess, was still the same fiery-red it has always been. I noticed that the red pony, who I now assume is Lucas, was doing the same.

“You’re telling me!” Lucas shouted. “You’ve gone and turned into a unicorn!”

I looked up, and sure enough, there was a light-blue horn, like my skin. “I’m a unicorn and you’re a pegasus.”

“Hey, not to put a damper on things,” the orange pony interrupted, “but have any of you seen Twilight or Rainbow Dash?”

“Rainbow who?” I asked. Before I could get a response, however, I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. I laid myself back down, rubbing my head

“Uh, e-excuse me, b-but,” the yellow pegasus stammered, “w-we should pr-probably get you t-two to the h-hospital. You aren’t l-looking v-very good.”

The white unicorn’s horn started to glow, and I was picked up through telekinesis or something and put on the back of the orange pony. Likewise, the yellow pegasus picked Lucas up and put him on the back of the pink pony.

All the fatigue from teleporting and transforming and whatnot finally got to me, and I fell unconscious on the ride.

Sunlight was shining into the crater where Twilight and Rainbow were laying. Twilight sat up, dazed, looking around. Something felt different here. It felt similar to being in the Everfree Forest.

“Rainbow, do you think we may have appeared in the Everfree Forest?” Twilight asked. She heard a sound behind her and turned around to find the strangest thing. It didn’t look like a pony, or a bear, or any of the animals they had back in Ponyville. It was light pink in color, with a cyan dress on it. Instead of hoofs, it had some peculiar appendage with five extensions coming out of it. Strangely enough, its mane was all different colors. It seemed very familiar. Suddenly, it groaned and sat up, rubbing its head with the peculiar hoof.

“Twilight, what happened?” the creature asked. Twilight gasped, it was Rainbow Dash’s voice!

“What have you done to Rainbow Dash?” she yelled, getting ready to use magic on the creature.

The creature stared at Twilight, the most bewildered look in its eyes. Twilight followed the creature’s gaze to her body. The first thing she saw was her hoof. But instead of a hoof, it was one of those appendage things.

Twilight shrieked and stumbled backwards. She examined herself as best she could. She was wearing a purple dress, like the one on the creature. Her skin was light pink as well. Her mane seemed unchanged, thankfully. She turned her gaze back to the creature, which was now checking itself in horror. Finally, it looked back at Twilight.

“I think something may have gone wrong with your spell,” stated Rainbow Dash.

Twilight also noticed that Rainbow’s wings were missing. She felt around at the top of her head, and confirmed that her horn was also missing. “Yeah, no kidding.”

“I don’t know,” Twilight said. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my books.”

“Well, we can’t just sit here,” Rainbow Dash reasoned. “Can’t you use your magic to get us back?”

“I don’t think magic will work without a conduit to focus it,” Twilight explained. “See, the magic comes from within, and—”

“I need my horn to use magic,” Twilight said definitively. “And in case you didn’t notice, I don’t have a horn to use.”

“Well, we can’t just wait here,” Rainbow said. “We should find somepony. Maybe they will be able to tell us what is going on.”

That was easier said than done. Twilight soon realized after a few tests that her newly-changed forelegs were not supposed to be used to walk. Her hind legs, however, seemed more than capable for walking. Now the challenge was how to use them.

Naturally, Rainbow Dash figured it out before Twilight. “You need to stop bending over. We’re not supposed to walk that way. Look.” Rainbow Dash then stood up on her hind legs. It was a bit wobbly at first, but eventually she was able to keep herself up. After a few more minutes, Twilight was just starting to get the hang of walking, while Rainbow Dash was pacing the clearing, trying to figure out what to do. Eventually, Twilight got the hang of it, and both were pacing around trying to understand what happened.

Suddenly, Twilight felt a wave of fatigue hit her. She wobbled, dizzy, and sat down with her back to a tree.

“Yeah,” replied Twilight. “It’s just magic fatigue. This happens when a unicorn uses too much magic. Basically, I need to rest.”

“Jeez, we can’t just keep stopping for naps,” Rainbow said. “We need to figure out what’s going on.”

Twilight hardly heard her, as the waves of fatigue started dragging her into unconsciousness.

Of Mares and Men

by Sirheavens

Chapter 1: A Bad Spell