Equinophobia

by Film Falm Brothers

Chapter 4

“Oh Victor, come down here!”
Alright Victor, time to put on your big boy pants. Victor gulped and began ever so slowly advancing towards the stairs. Victor had heard the entire conversation that Discord and the horse (hopefully it was just one horse and not horses) had just had. Of course, understanding only one side of the conversation hadn’t exactly helped calm his nerves, but from what Discord had been saying, it seemed like if there was a shot that he’d survive all this craziness, this was it. So, taking a deep breath, Victor began the decent down the stairs.
Victor moved with deliberate slowness, not overly eager to come face to face with another one of the demon horses. But, as much as Victor might have wanted it to, going down a flight of stairs doesn’t take very long, especially when the stairs, if not the entire house, seemed to be designed for children and not a full grown man. Making sure he didn’t make any sudden movements, Victor stepped onto the first floor of the cottage.
…Alright, there’s not a horse violently ripping out my vital organs like a velociraptor. That’s a step in the right direction. Victor heard what could almost be described as a gasp come from his left. Slowly, moving ever so deliberately, Victor turned to face the creator of the sound.
Discord was standing about two or three feet from the stair case, and was staring at him, a grin plastered on his face, both arms dramatically pointed towards him. About five or so feet away from Discord, however, was a blonde horse with a light pink mane and tail. The horse had one of its front hooves in front of its snout, almost like it was covering the fact that it was gaping at him. A pair of the same yellowish colored wings sprouted from the horses back. Discord turned back to face the horse.
“Fluttershy, this is Victor,” Discord turned toward the human, “Victor, meet Fluttershy.”
Almost out of reflex, Victors hand shot up and waved towards the horse, which hesitantly returned the gesture. I’m getting tired of saying this, but could things get any weirder? Almost as if he heard the thought, Discord got a grin on his face.
“Now now, no need to be so shy. Shake hooves like civilized… things.” Discord stretched both his arms out like taffy, and pushed the human and pony together, both of them resisting as if their life depended on it. Unfortunately, Discord wasn’t exactly a weakling, so all the struggling accomplished nothing. The horse snorted something at Discord. He rolled his eyes, “No, I can guarantee you he won’t do anything brash. Or at least if he does, I’ll be a pal and stop him. Now shake hooves.” Tentatively, Fluttershy reached one of her hooves up. Matching her unwillingness, Victor slowly wrapped his hand around her outstretched hoof. Dontfreakoutdontfreakoutdontfreakout… Victor thought as he slowly shook the horses hoof up and down, letting go as soon as he could.
Discord smiled, “There, now we all know each other. That wasn’t so bad, now was it Victor?”
Victor looked down at his feet, “n-no… it wasn’t.” Fluttershy suddenly whinnied something to Discord.
“Yes, that’s him talking,” Discord paused to let Fluttershy respond, “How in the world would I know that! I don’t have the luxury of hearing different languages.”
“What was that Discord? Y-you don’t hear language?” Victor was very confused, but this was a feeling that he was quickly getting accustomed to.
Discord turned towards him, “Yes. Being the lord of chaos does have its disadvantages, now doesn’t it? No need for a translator with little ol’ me around.” Victor furrowed a brow, “You’re welcome, by the way. I’d love to know where you would be if it were not for the lovely and fabulous me’s translating abilities!” Discord harrumph-ed, crossing his arms. The horse simply rolled its eyes.
“S-so… what do we do know?” Victor asked, casually leaning away from the hor- Fluttershy. Victor couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Fluttershy was doing the same.
“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell… I hate to do this to you, but I’m going to have to leave you two lovebirds alone for a while.”
“WHAT!” Victor shouted.
“NEIGH!” Fluttershy got a bug eyed look on its face that mirrored Victor’s own.
Discord chuckled, a grin nearly splitting his face in half, “Oh, stop it you two. If you were any more entertaining I’d follow you around all day! But, alas,” Discord assumed a dramatic pose, “As a god, and a benevolent one at that, it is my job to help those I can.”
The horse whinnied at Discord, who shook his head at it, “Yes, well I might as well be a god. Celestia knows I’m powerful enough. But I’m ranting. And besides,” Discord turned towards the pegasus, “Would you prefer me to not go get those goody four shoes friends of yours? Hmm?”
The horse turned its eyes at the floor, blushing slightly. After a series of… horse noises (Victor couldn’t decide whether they were whinnies, neighs, or some other onomatopoeia for a sound a horse makes), the horse looked back at Victor. Good God, that thing is creepy… wait…
“You’re going for more of these… horses?!” Victor had to restrain himself from calling the pastel ponies ‘things’, “Don’t you think that’s… pushing it?”
“As much as I do hate to admit it, I have absolutely no idea what to do with you, lad. See? Not one idea,” Discord said as he cracked open his skull, showing it to be empty, “so, I think that we may have to get Fluttershys friends involved.”
At this point, both Victor and Fluttershy burst out in a string of chatter, both of them trying to talk Discord out of this.
“Please Discord, you have to understand something. I… I kind of have this, this thing with horses. They… they freak me out.” At this, Discord perked up.
“Oh ho! Really? My bipedal friend, you just keep getting more interesting!” Discord elbowed Victor, as Fluttershy stopped her torrent of objections to listen to what Discord was saying, “If anything, I had my money being on these ponys being afraid of you, not the other way around!”
“Yes, well…” Victor wasn’t sure he liked the look in Discords eyes. While he knew he shouldn’t, what with Discord literally being chaos given physical form, Victor trusted the guy. But the glint in his eyes gave Victor a sense of dread.
Discord stroked his goatee, glancing at Victor, then Fluttershy, then back at Victor. Finally, he let out a sigh, “Well, I GUESS I could be convinced to postpone doing anything. BUT! I still think it would not only be hilarious, but smart to go get somepony else to help with this mess.”
Victor let out what could have easily been the largest sigh ever let out by a human ever; it felt like a boulder that was sitting on top of a mountain that was supported by four elephants that were on his chest had just gotten lift off of Victor, “Y’know, you’re a lot of a better friend than most humans I knew back home. What’d you do to get… what happened to you? Stuck in a statue?”
Discord giggled, “Oh, now there is a story. You see…”

After Discord finished regaling Victor with the abridged version of how he got trapped in stone, when he broke out, and how he was reformed, the odd trio settled down into their daily routine, or as close as they could get to it with Victor in the house. Fluttershy took care of her animals, as well as checking in on Pinkie Pie, who somehow remained in a deep sleep throughout the day. Discord kept Victor company, giving him an impromptu show of his chaotic powers, followed by the abridged version of the history of Equestria. Victor was able to keep the topic off of his home, but this proved to be much easier than anticipated, with Discord being a chatterbox all day (even to the point where Victor had to excuse himself to the bathroom to get away from Discords stories. He could not find one). Eventually, the stories devolved into the two of them playing card games, which were almost identical to the ones Victor had on Earth. By the time night came around, Victor, Discord, Angel Bunny, and Elizabeak were wrapped up in a high stakes game of poker.
“…I fold.” Victor said, glancing at his pitifully small pile of chips. How in the world a chicken was taking them to cleaners, let alone playing, was beyond him. The only one close to competition for the chicken was Angel, who Victor decided he kind of liked. With him out, the rest showed their hands: Discord with two pair, Angel with a straight, and Elizabeak with…
“A FULL HOUSE! Cheater!” Discord pointed a claw at the chicken, who silently slid the pot towards her, despite the death glare Angel was giving her. Fluttershy giggled.
“Quite, Discord. Pinkie had a rough day.”
“Oh yes, lying on the couch and sleeping all day is sooooooooooooo exhausting!” The draconequus said, but in a much lower tone, “there could be a full grown dragon in here and that pony wouldn’t even notice.”
“You’re just in a bad mood because you’re losing.” Victor said, grinning at Discord.
“Not as bad as you are, chum. Or did you ‘mistake’ the bunny’s pile as yours again?” At that, everyone in the room (with the exception of Pinkie) laughed, remembering that argument, which Victor lost, as well as the following five hands.
“Ah, forget you. I’m going to bed.” Victor said, getting up from the floor they were playing on and taking a few steps before remembering that he wasn’t in his apartment. Turning around, he faced Discord, “so… where am I sleeping?”
Discord blinked at him for a few seconds, “Wha- oh, oh yeah. Hmm…” Discord got a pair of grinding gears above his head as he tried to think.
“He can sleep in my bed.”
All the heads in the room turned towards Fluttershy, who had spoken up from her spot on the couch next to her comatose friend. Discord did a spit take (despite not having a drink), and Angel dropped his cards (which Elizabeak promptly looked at).
“… Who are you and what have you done with my Fluttershy?” Discord questioned. Victor was lost at his point.
Fluttershy grinned, “Stop being a drama queen, Rarity doesn’t need any competition,” this got a laugh from Discord, “I should stay down here with Pinkie Pie to make sure she doesn’t… wake up and find an unpleasant surprise for herself.”
After relaying this information to Victor, the human shrugged, “Well, g’night then.” With that, Victor went upstairs.
After a few minutes of silence, Discord looked back at the pegasus, “Seriously, Shy. What’s gotten into you?”
“What do you mean?” Flutterhsy looked up from Pinkie, who was twitching in her sleep.
“What I mean is that you aren’t acting right. The Fluttershy I know would have never let Victor in the house, let alone let him sleep in her bed. The pegasus I know would have fainted the second she laid eyes on him, and ran away to her friends.”
“Isn’t that a good thing though?”
Discord didn’t like where this conversation was going, “Well, yes, but-“
“But what?”
“I… I don’t want to say.” Discord looked back at his cards, but neither of his playmates had done anything with their cards, being too focused on the conversation.
“C’mon Dissy. You’re not one to not say what was on your mind.” Fluttershy had a look of almost concern on her face.
“It’s- it’s just… this isn’t… you were perfect the way you were. You shouldn’t change. This… isn’t the pegasus I fell in love with.”
Fluttershy sighed. Of course this was what this was about. On top of that had happened, Discord had to bring this up. Fluttershy had thought that they agreed to leave this dead and buried after Discords failed attempt at romance. Fluttershy got off of the couch and walked up to Discord, looking him right in the eyes.
“Discord, you know I care about you. You know I would never do anything to hurt you. You know I think you’re one of my closest friends,” Fluttershy paused to push down Discords hand, which was rising towards her mane, “and you know I don’t love you. At least, not like that. I’ve told you before. We can’t do this. I care about you too much to let you love me, and see me live my life knowing that one day, far down the line, you would have to see me die. I can’t let you go through that Discord. I care about you too much.”
A tear made its way out of Discords eye, “Well… I’ll be going now.” Discord sprung up and walked towards the door.
“Discord…” Fluttershy tried to say, but he was already flying away. This was how Discord always reacted when Fluttershy told him what she felt: He stormed off and sulked, sometimes disappearing for days at a time. But he always came back, back to his cheerful, wacky self, until his feelings got the better of him again. Fluttershy sighed. I knew it’d be hard, but why did it have to be like this? Fluttershy slumped back to the couch. I finally get friends, finally get Discord to behave, and THIS. Oh, Celestia… Fluttershy looked at her slumbering friend.
“I bet you’d figure out a way to make this work.” Fluttershy pulled the blanket over Pinkie Pie. Trying to forget what had happened, Fluttershy began humming. Eventually, it morphed into song:

A tear dropped to the floor as Fluttershy settled into bed. Above, Victor slept peacefully, forgetting the stress and misery that had been the recent events…