//------------------------------// // 430. The Swine of Crime // Story: Tales in Thirty Minutes // by Dash2468 //------------------------------// Prompt 430: Professor Piggy's plans for Ponyville! Princess Twilight Sparkle stared in horror, disbelief, and not a little incredulity, as what looked like a giant mechanical pig smashed its way through the streets of Ponyville, heading straight for her palace. Ponies scattered before it, screaming in terror, trying to avoid being crushed underfoot by the monster, or else hit by the rays of light that were shooting from it, setting anything they touched on fire. A few were trying to fight back: some pegasi were circling the pig, wielding a rope to tie up its legs, and Twilight thought she could see Pinkie Pie valiantly pelting it with pies. The pig, however, simply smashed the roof off Sugarcube Corner with one backward kick, before slicing the pegasi’s rope in two with its death rays. As Princess of Ponyville, Twilight knew she had to act. Spreading her wings, looking as regal and powerful as possible, she launched herself off her balcony, preparing to strike an almighty blast of magic straight between the pig’s eyes… But she paused, as the pig stopped, and turned its head upwards to stare directly at her. As Twilight watched, a hole opened in the top of the pig’s head. A circular metal platform appeared from it, balanced on a spindly tentacle-like arm, which rose upwards to meet her. Standing atop the platform was a corpulent pig, standing on two legs and balancing on a cane. He was dressed in a top hat and tails, complete with a monocle, and was grinning with smug superiority at her. Twilight’s eyes widened; she knew this swine! “Professor Piggy?! From Canterlot University?” The pig’s smile vanished, replaced with an angry scowl. “It’s Professor Algernon Montague Scrofa, Princess.” He said the last word as venomously as possible. “I would have thought you, of all ponies, would be courteous enough to address me by my proper name, rather than some derisive moniker that my students whisper behind my back!” “Sorry,” said Twilight automatically. “Wait, no, I don’t have to be sorry! You’re destroying Ponyville!” “Rest assured, Princess, I have no intention of totally levelling your precious town,” said Professor Piggy dismissively. “This is merely to set an example. After all, where would I begin my new empire, were there nothing left to build upon?” “Empire?” cried Twilight. “I’ll never let you build anything here, you monster!” “If this demonstration of my mighty war machine was not enough for you,” the diabolical Professor snorted, “then you will soon agree to eject all ponies from this town, once I have marched upon Sweet Apple Acres, and recruited an army of noble pigs, cows and sheep to my cause!” “Applejack’s farm animals will never join you!” “Won’t they? You think they will ignore my promises of freedom and liberty for all of their kind? For too long, you ponies have kept my brethren in chains, forcing them to give up their milk and wool, or else sniff out truffles which you then gobble up yourselves! Do you have any idea how hard I had to work to get where I am today? How many prejudiced lecturers and ‘Kick Me’ signs I had to endure, all because of my humble origins in a lowly sty? And you, Twilight Sparkle! You are not even in your twenties, yet you have already been made a Princess! Do you think I would ever be made a Princess?!” “Um, I’m not sure….” “Of course not!” roared Professor Piggy. “But soon all that will change, once I have turned this place into Scrofaville, an example to the world, haven for all of my brothers!” “Never!” Twilight cried defiantly, and summoned her magic to her horn… Suddenly, there was a splat, and a horrible stench in her nostrils, and her magical aura spluttered and died. Feeling something unpleasant dripping down her face, Twilight tried to cast a spell again, but she couldn’t – what this substance was, it was covering her horn and blocking her magic. Professor Piggy was grinning, and holding a hand-sized cannon. “Behold, my Swill Cannon!” he crowed. “Highly effective against even an alicorn, is it not? Now even you, Princess, cannot stop me! You have no choice but to…” He was abruptly cut off as there was a blast of wind, and a purple blur appeared out of nowhere to slam into him. With an angry scream, Professor Piggy was sent tumbling off his platform; but before he could become a bacon-flavoured stain on the ground, he raised his cane. Four blades sprouted out of it and began rotating rapidly, slowing his fall and allowing him to make a safe landing. With the Professor out of reach for the moment, Twilight turned to the pony who was now standing proudly on the platform… “Mare-Do-Well? Wait…which one of you is it?” With a chuckle, Mare-Do-Well lifted her mask. “Rainbow Dash?!” “I got the costume from Fluttershy,” Rainbow grinned. “Come on, Twilight, I’ve been waiting forever for the chance to try on one of these!” “Well…I do need to get this swill off my horn,” said Twilight. “You think you can handle him, Rainbow?” “No problem! And don’t worry; I’m not letting the whole hero thing go to my head this time. I won’t be negotiating the comic book deal until after he’s behind bars!”