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// The After-Effects 
// Story: The Adventurous Beatrice Wilde 
// by Beatrice Wilde 
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I woke up not knowing where I was and with a killer hangover.

This scared me. Not knowing where I was, that is. It reminded me of when I ran away from school once. Everybody was making fun of me for being a blank flank, telling me to kill myself because I was rejected by society and rejected by Celestia. I almost took their words seriously. I almost did it. "You're such a bucking loser. A failure to society. You bucking bastard, why don't you just go kill yourself? Your parents would like that, wouldn't they? Joining them. Celestia would say it was a blessing if you were dead. Nobody would notice if you were gone. They'd only notice that they're happier. Don't you see? Nopony loves you." The insults would continue like that... And on, and on...

Snapping out of my reverie, I noticed a white unicorn with a frazzled two-toned blue mane. Obviously my bucking hero. "Vinyl Scratch... Woah," I said, wincing at how dry and cracked my voice sounded. Must've been a hell of a night last night.

"Yeah, yeah. Here's a short run-down of what I know last night- from what I've seen happen to what you've told me. You're coltfriend was cheating on you with a bucking nasty mare, you got insanely drunk and in a bar fight, you came here for some unknown reason, and now you are working for me as the official sound tester for my music," Vinyl somewhat rushed through her explanation, as if in a hurry to be doing something else.

Okay, I thought. This is awesome and depressing at the same time... Noteworthy? Cheating? Ugh. Whatever. I expected at some point, I guess...

"Okay, now, you need to get cleaned up, 'cause if my wife sees you on the couch in the state that you're in, she'll shit herself. Which is even more problematic because when she sees the mess SHE made, she'll shit herself again. Come on," she said, levitating me in her telekinetic grip and standing me on my hooves. Somewhat wobbling, I took off after her- she had already started going down a long, beige hallway.

Huh. You would think that a DJ's house would be trashed all the time and have bold colors... But this is something that... Is unexpected, I thought, bewildered still at being in DJ P0N-3's HOUSE.

Oh my bucking Celestia. I'm in her house. This, right here, is awesome.

I ran into the white mare, who had suddenly stopped in front of a pale pink door. Opening it, she said, "Soap is in the shower, next to the shampoo and conditioner, clean towels are on the rack, and washcloths are under the sink, along with a manebrush. Also, there's a glass of water and some painkillers on the counter- both of which I know for a fact that you need. A'ight?" She said, taking in a big breath of air.

"O-kaay," I said, my throat already yearning for the glass of water. "Good. If you need anything, then just... I guess find me or some shit. I'll be in my studio," and with that, she quickly trotted down the hall, whistling a beat I suppose she was going to create.

Slipping inside the bathroom, I shut the door as silently as I could, wanting to make the least amount of noise as possible so I didn't disturb anypony. Turning around, I saw the water and painkillers laid out on the counter. I almost tripped myself in the hurry I was in to get them. I popped the lid off the painkillers and laid a few out on my tongue and gulped down the liquid.

Nothing could ever have tasted this good, I thought, mesmerized by how thirsty I was. I set the glass down and my reflection caught my eye.

My normally deep purple coat had mud caked to the side, and hunks of fur were missing; my bright red eyes were circled in large, pulsing pink veins; my normally shaggy but stylish black mane was sticking up all over the place, like a tumbleweed had rolled onto my head sometime last night. It reminded me of when my dad was still alive and he- "NO!" I yelled at myself, then immediately regretted it when my already pounding heat beat furiously against my skull- the pain of the suppressed memory trying to come back, and the hangover. Not a good mix.

But there was something staring me right in the face- I just couldn't put my hoof on it.

"Ah, well. I'll figure it out later," I said to myself as I knelt down and opened the cabinets under the sink. Finding the washcloths and manebrush, I pulled them out, setting them on the side of the shower. I turned on the hot water and waited for the mirror to get foggy with steam.

Stepping into the shower, I could almost immediately see muddy water rushing past my hooves. I sighed and used this time to think.

Okay, so what is the last thing you remember from last night? Come on, you stupid pony, think! Giving myself a little pep talk usually helped. Goddammit, Bea... Okay, the last thing I remember is going out to find Noteworthy... Yeah, okay. It was our anniversary. He was avoiding me- again.

Nothing new. Okay. Next thing... A faintly familiar bartender... Green- Jade. Okay, so Jade was there when I got drunk. She might be able to help me out.

Sighing, I let go of trying to recollect anything else. Jade would tell me. I lifted the soap and scrubbed it on my coat, smaller clumps of dirt falling off. I rubbed the rag into my fur, trying to get as clean as possible to look presentable around this house. Obviously her wife was high maintenance.

Fancy-schmancy ponies just weren't my thing (I thought Noteworthy was different, but I was proven wrong), but it was better to not be talked about in my case. I never thought that DJ-P0N3 would have ever married one.

Eh, not my life, not my business.

Locating the shampoo, I squeezed some on my mane and tail, massaging it through. Done rinsing it out, I said, "Ahh, I feel so much better- now where is the conditioner- ah! There it is." Picking it up, I only put a little in my mane and tail, feeling my black mess that I call hair get really soft and smooth.

Cleanliness. I love it.

I turned the faucet off and pushed open the floral curtain, grabbing the clean towel with my teeth and flinging it up in the air, letting it land on my head in which I fiercely scrubbed the water out of. Droplets were sent in every direction, and I felt guilty for making a mess in their beautiful home. Nothing I could do now. Moving the towel to my coat, I rubbed it into my fur to get myself dry. Now my tail. The most infuriating part. I dropped the towel on the floor and sat on it, commencing to wrap my tail in the damp cloth. I made sure it was mostly dry and shook myself to make sure there was no excess water.

Trotting over to the sink, I took the manebrush and pushed it through my coarse hair. Observing myself in the semi-foggy mirror, I realized my coat looked a little frazzled. Not much I could do about it.

Picking up my towel off the floor where it had dropped, I tried to soak up as much of the water as I could that I had flung around the bathroom. Setting it in the basket that was obviously there for dirty clothing and such, I walked out of the bathroom, gulping the cool air.

Now I could explore.

Turning towards the end of the hall that I was sure that we had come down, I giggled to myself, excited that I was able to explore the inside of Vinyl Scratch's house. Surely there was no higher honor?!

I walked down the hall, coming to the living room. The couch was now spotless from where I had slept on it.

I thought I had smelled something- fruit salad and... Pancakes? Yes, that's what it was. Vinyl's favorite food. My stomach grumbled and I realized how hungry I must be.

I followed my nose through a few twists and turns and felt my hooves hit the cool surface of linoleum. I stopped abruptly. There, in the kitchen, was Octavia Philarmonica, undoubtedly one of the most prized and cherished of all of the fancy-schmancy ponies. But also undoubtedly the most beautiful. I had always aspired to be as beautiful as she.

I was in the same house as my idols- both of them. Could it be that Vinyl was married to Octavia? No- no... Octavia was fancy. She despised fillyfoolers and coltcuddlers.

I ran out of time to contemplate. Vinyl trotted in at that time and gave her a peck on the cheek, saying, "'Tavi, we've got a visitor." Octavia replied, "Oh? And where might this visitor be?" Vinyl indicated for Octavia to turn around. She turned, spatula still in hoof, and greeted me with a small, polite smile. "Hello, Miss. Welcome to our home. If I knew you were here before now-" she gave a sideways glare at Vinyl, who just smiled and rolled her eyes, "I would have made more for breakfast. Ah, of little matter. Vinyl and you can help me, and we can learn a little more about each other, yes?"

I gave a shy, sheepish nod, stepping forward with the last bit of courage I had. Now, in any other situation I would approach this head on, no problem. But this was more kindness than I had expected. They had taken me in in the middle of the night, completely shitfaced, and even offered me a job and an opportunity to share a meal with them. Who the buck was I to decline? These were my bucking IDOLS! I'd be an idiot to say no.

With renewed vigor, I took a strong step forward and picked up a spatula of my own.

Half an hour later we were laughing about politics and how Princess Celestia used to be so against same-sex couples, and yet now she was marrying Princess Twilight Sparkle.

"Thank you for letting me take refuge here for the night. This was way more than I could have ever expected of anypony. It means a lot," I said, trying to be as humble as possible so I didn't appear rude.

"Yeah, where do ya think you're going?" Vinyl questioned. "Um... I suppose I was going to go find my friend's house and crash there for a bit. Seeing as how my coltfriend is now my ex-coltfriend... I don't have a choice in this. I can't stay with him with that information."

"Nonsense. You'll have to stay with us. This has been absolutely delightful. Why, I don't think I've had such a wonderful conversation in years!" Octavia said, graceful even when speaking.

"Oh, I really couldn't. I don't wanna be a burden," I replied. "Oh, you're no burden. This has been most enjoyable. You and Vinyl will go to get your things as soon as I put these dishes in the dishwasher," Octavia said, determined that I was staying here. Fine by me, Jade was a messy person. I hated it. Likewise she hated for things to be clean. Or maybe I was still a little tipsy from last night.

Either way it was settled. I was living with Vinyl and Octavia.