“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay
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“What do you mean what’s a religion?”
“I really have never heard of the word religion Matt! It must be an earth thing.”
“That is bull-“
“What is it with you and the negative derogatory with bulls… excrement? Sure they can be a little mean sometimes, but-“
“As I was saying Twlight, there’s no way Equestria didn’t at least have a religion in the past. Every subculture on Earth has place faith in superstition at one time or another. Their had to be a time when ponies did the same thing.”
“Well maybe this is just another translation error between our cultures. Like everybody, and everypony, only more significant. Could you explain it for me?”
“Gladly, you see-“
“Oh wait! Let me get something to write this down with!”
“…You know for someone likes to lecture so much, you sure do interrupt when it’s someone’s else’s turn.”
Twilight begins to respond with a meek expression, but I can’t hear the words she’s saying. It must have been while I was trying to make heads or tails of the situation, because next thing I know I’m in an ocean of darkness. An odd sense of calm fills me as I get a feeling similar to going down an elevator….
I awoke to some very nostalgic music
I open my eyes to take in taking in my surroundings and immediately recognize that I was standing in the camber of sages from one of my favorite video games, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Water is endlessly flowing from the nearby columns, and the surrounding walls of blue light seem to hint of something much more beyond them. Even the 6 seals of the sages surrounded me. The only difference is that instead of the Triforce being in the center, my feet rested upon a yin-yang, the symbol of Taoism.
“How did I get here?”
“Though are still asleep on the train that is on its way to Canterlot,” replied a Victorian sounding voice, “This place is merely a construct of your mind. It made something familiar to you that you’d feel comfortable in so that we could talk.”
I spun around to find a blue equine figure with wavy star filled hair, standing on the seal of darkness.
“I was under the impression that humans lacked any magical talent or access to places such as this. Is it a magical shrine of mediation for you humans? Twlight’s letters mentioned that you come from a world without any magic. If this is true than how did you dream up such a plain?”
I felt like I should be freaking out, or at least freaking out over the lack of freaking out, “This is a scene from one of my favorite video games, an advanced form of interactive storytelling, and entertainment that-“
“I’ve heard of these video games from our dear friend Twilight! You must tell me more about it! I’ve always had a vested interest in finding new ways to tell stories. Graphic novels were considered for children until I funded innovative ponies to advance the art. If video games can create such amazing imagery then-“
“AS I WAS SAYING!” I projected with vocal chords acquired from several lead performances in school plays. Calm or not, I wanted some answers, “Where am I and who are you?”
The dark blue alicorn was taken back from my blunt topic change. She clearly wasn’t used to being talked back to. I would have found this irritating if I wasn’t in a zen like calmness.
"My apologies, I am Princess Luna of the night. As I said before, we are merely in your mind, your dreams specifically. This is the first time I have been able to enter your slumbering mind. Now that I’ve figured out the workings of your mind, I should be to visit you with greater ease."
Now normally, such a breach in privacy would have brought out quite a number of emotions, followed by some tastefully chosen words. However, this calm tranquil mindset I was experiencing was deeply rooted. I felt warm…. secure…. and I had no desire to leave it. Kind of like how you don’t want to leave the your warm bed on a cold morning.
“Why didn’t you visit sooner.”
"Your mind is like a labyrinth where you walk down instead of right. Normally entering the dreams of my subjects is a simple as stepping into a body of water. However, yours is so foreign. I could only enter your dreams now be because you are closer to Canterlot."
That’s right! I’m in a train on its my way to Canterlot. Twilight finally convinced me to visit Canterlot after our discussion on religion. I didn’t think I was comfortable with the idea of meeting a demi-god yet, but she used my pride to her advantage. She figured if anyone could clear up our argument over religion it would be a seemingly immortal princess. Clever girl.
"Why have you been so eager to enter my dreams? Couldn’t you just talk to me face to face in Canterlot?"
…….
Luna’s Body was completely still, like the image of a character when you pause a video. And yet, I couldn’t help, but get the feeling she was still moving. Almost like she was just jogging in place faster than my eyes could see.
"I’m sorry, but I’ll have to cut this warning short. Your train is ahead of schedule and will be docking soon. Twilight will no doubt wake you at that time."
"Warn me what?"
"That my sister Celestia has yet to decide whether or not it is wise to send you home."
I felt my calm quickly being replace with rage as the pedestal we stood on began to shake. She may be some sort of goddess, but she’s on my home turf.
"You anger is quite understandable. However, sending you home is not yet been made possible. So this is a decision that has yet to me made. We are researching the after effects of what brought you here and I am absolutely certain that we will eventually be able to send you home one day. Unfortunately, this is a brand new field of magic, and there are a lot of fine details that need to be work out. It is very difficult to estimate the specific time we will figure out how to send you home."
Okay so kicking in the teeth of the closest living thing to a demi-goddess wouldn’t get me home yet regardless…impossibility of achieving that scenario aside.
"So why does she get to make the judgment call on my fate? I thought you were the co-ruler? Not to mention Twilight or this alicorn of love if heard about?"
"Twilight is still new to the role of a Princess. She will continue to play an important role should things work in your favor. Smart as she may be, she still lacks the proper experience that comes from living over a thousand years to comprehend the magnitude of your species potential. As for me, I agree with my Sister’s claim that I am too emotionally invested in your outcome, and that it would corrupt my ability to make a decision for the good of my little ponies."
Surfing on the internet since as early as I can remember has made an impact on my life that the rest of my family can never fully understand. I imaging that I’ll get along with my nieces and nephews better than my own brothers, and hold the title of the ‘sage uncle’. However, surfing websites like four-chan, along with reading fan-fics tend to make someone with a dirty mind like myself see a sexual innuendos and scenarios in almost anything, and the thought of being flirted with by an alien demi-goddess [however brief] is enough to make anyone blush. Being a little lonely doesn’t help either.
Luna seemed to notice my slight blush, and soon was wearying one herself.
Well this is awkward….
With a level of convenience that rivals Saved By the Bell, a booming noise echoed across the digital plane that was my dream. It almost sounded like a whistle hooked up to a bass system.
Darkness flowed in around me with the speed of a tsunami as I began to feel like I was falling. Luna was drifting away against her will, trying to yell out to me, but the thunderous whistle drowned whatever she said. The last thing I remembered was that her cheeks where still red.