Warning: This chapter has some 4th wall breaking and alot of Batman references. Please be advised for no reason whatsoever. Enjoy!
"Pinkie," asked Twilight. "What is 'the periodic table'?
Pinkie just chuckled while Richtofen looked shocked.
"Twilight, darling. It's most likely just one of Pinkie's anologies."
Richtofen just looked even more shocked.
"I guess you're right. We don't want me trying to study Pinkie again!"
Richtofen now had a look of shockfusion.
"You're right, author! Twilight, don't shockfuse Richtofen!" Pinkie scolded.
The group, save Richtofen, just looked at Pinkie with the most confused faces a pony could make.
Richtofen, however just muttered under his breath. "I'm surrounded by dummkopfs..."
Richtofen obviously missed alot of the conversation, because everpony was staring at him. "Vhat?"
"Darling, weren't you paying attention just now?" Asked Rarity. Richtofen just shrugged. Somewhere along the line he learned to shrug while walking on four legs.
"Well, I wouldn't take no for an answer anyway. So, off to the SPAAA-AAAAAA!" Rarity sung in a sing-song voice.
Aloe and Lotus greeted their best customer and their second best customer, then everypony else. Richtofen, wondering why he came along, got ushered along by Rarity, and then he remermbered Rarity had her head in his ass pushing him there.
"And this is my friend Richtofen. Give him a hooficure. I bet his hooves are begging for a good shine!" Rarity tried to push Richtofen but he'd frozen up. 'How dare zey! Zey haven't earnt my friendship! Not unless zey spend as much time fighting zombies as I did with Nikolai...' Richtofen was jolted out of his thoughts by a bright blue aura lifting him up and placing him on the table where Aloe prepared the file.
"Honestly, some ponies are very rude. If you want to be in our group of friends, at least have the decency to be a proper gentlecolt." Rarity huffed, stuck her nose in the air haughtily, and walked away to the spa.
Richtofen however, was trying to figure out what just happened. He was suddenly alerted to a presence to his right where a cyan pegasus lay. "Bit for your thoughts?" Asked the cyan mare. Richtofen sighed. "Zis place is crazy. Not like ze ᴁther..."
The cyan mare just shook her head and started her usual boasting. "Anyway, my name's Rainbow Dash, faster flier in... Eques..." Rainbow trailed off when Lotus started giving her a hooficure.
Richtofen just scoffed. "Don't be so full of yourself. I used to rule an entire planet of ZOMBEEZ!"
Rainbow suddenly shot up, startling Lotus causing her to fall on her back.
"That. Is. AWESOME!" Rainbow yelled, then quickly corrected herself. "N-not as awes-s-some as me, o-of course!"
Rainbow suddenly drooped. "Who am I kidding, that's bucking awesome."
"I still would if it weren't for Maxis!" Richtofen suddenly got angry, and he said the last the word with venom dripping from his voice. His blue eyes suddenly intesified in colour before Richtofen collapsed on the table. Aloe returned with the file, having lost it somewhere. She glared at Rainbow, thinking it was one of her pranks to knock the stallion out. Rainbow just shrugged.
"So you're saying he just collapsed?" Asked Nurse Redheart, a bit skeptical.
"Yeah, his eyes just got really bright and he fell over! Right in the middle of a conversation. Who the hay does that?" Asked Rainbow.
"His eyes glowed brighter?" Asked Redheart, a bit more concerened. Rainbow nodded. Suddenly Rainbow got a pain in her chest. 'Loyalty. You left your friends behind.' "I have to go get the others, Nurse!"
"Hey girls, you have to come with me to the hospital!" Exclaimed Rainbow.
"I'm afraid he passed out from magical overload." Explained Redhart. Rainbow interrupted. "But he wasn't using magic! I was right there!"
"Sometimes untrained unicorns can pass out when they get angry but their body can't release it through the horn." Explained Twilight.
"He said something about a 'Maxis' then his eyes glowed a really bright blue then he just passed out cold!"
Suddenly, Richtofen sat bolt upright. "Maxis? Vhere? I'll show him! Zat bastard and his daughter..."
Richtofen looked around. "Oh, hello zere!"
Twilight just facehooved.
"Darling, it's getting late, and you don't have anywhere to stay, do you?" Asked Rarity.
"EETZ ok. I've slept outside before."
"Oh, no no no darling! I simply won't let you sleep outside like a wild animal!" At that, Rarity started pushing Richtofen out of the hospital and into her Botique. "Oh I have some suits that would look just marvelous on you!"
'And I have a bullet zat would look DEATHLY BEAUTIFUL in your head...'
Richtofen was stuck in Rarity's telekinesis while she put together a tux. When she turned around to put it on the living mannequin in front of her he turned a deathly white.
'Think! THINK! Maybe I can use ze ununpentium in my blood to stun her. WUNDERBAR!'
Richtofen screwed his eyes shut and focused. Suddenly a massive bolt of electricity shot out of his horn and bounced off of everything, before it disintergrated the horrible looking 'handsome tux'. Rarity just stood there, speechless.
"AHA! WUNDERBAR! I am a wunderwaffe!" Richtofen used this moment to escape into the first building he saw. A gingerbread house called 'Sugarcube Corner'. "Hmm, dosen't zeem so ba-AHHHHH!" Pinkie litterally appeared in front of him with a happy look on her face.
'I think zat pony swallowed a Q.E.D.'
'OO OO! What's a Q.E.D.?'
'It's a quant- hey, zis iz MY MIND!'
'Oops! Sorry!'
Richtofen suddenly got an idea. "How much 115 do you have?"
"Lots silly! It's the secret ingredient in the whole Pie family!" Pinkie answered, unaware she just gave away why the cupcakes taste so bucking good and why Ditzy is obsessed with muffins.
"I used to work on a rock farm! We switched the mundane rocks with 115 infused ones and then crushed them, and used the 115 in our cakes and pastries which we sold to Sugarcube Corner!" Pinkie explained, though Richtofen didn't know what she was talking about.
"Look, anyvay, I need to hide from zat crazy white unicorn."
"You can stay here if you want!"
"Just let me get the spare bed." Pinkie stopped to think for a moment. "OMIGOSH! THIS IS TOTALLY A SLEEPOVER!"
"Nein, itz me hiding from zat verrückt pony."
"Oh, well. We have far too little ponies to have a sleepover. Oh, but Twilight had one with 3 ponies. Hey, do you think..."
Richtofen just groaned and fell down onto his bed.
