Dang O' Ponies, I Tell You What: Bill's Revenge

by LtMajorDude


And so it begins...

Sugar Cube Corner

Bill and Pinkie Pie both walked in, wide grins on their faces.

Bill asked. "So, your aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, home?"

Pinkie giggled. "YEP! Waitaminute. How did you know about them?"

Bill chuckled at her. "Trust me, if I tell you, you would just end up like Twilight that one time you had the 'Pinkie Sense,' remember?"

She began to jump around, giggling. "Oh yeah! I remember!"

Bill scratched his head. "Long story short, my secret." he said.

Pinkie Pie smiled. "OH! I LOVE SECRETS!-!-!"

Bill smiled happily. Right next to Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie was also his favorite pony.

Eventually they headed to the bakery. There, Pinkie's aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Cake are there, along with their twins Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake.

"Hi Pinkie." Mr. Cake greeted. "Who's your friend?"

Bill waved his hoof. "Hello. My name is William Fontaine de la Tour D'Haute Rive. You can call me Bill."

He knelt down and patted Pound Cake's head. "You have such cute children Mr. and Mrs. Cake."

Mrs. Cake smiled. "Why thank you."

Pinkie came up to Bill and hugged him. "Hey guys guess what. Bill is from another planet. And he knows a lot about us! EVERYPONY!-!-!"

The Cakes just stood there, blinking. Bill just shrugged and smiled.

Pinkie gave the Cakes her puppy eyes. "Can he PLE-E-E-E-ASE stay here?" she asked.

Mr. Cake sat there thinking. "Umm..."

Bill smiled. "If you want..." he said. "I can help you around the bakery. It's the least I can do!"

Mrs. Cake smiled. "Sure he can stay here"

"YIPIIEE!" both Pinkie Pie and Bill shouted happily.

Pinkie giggled and quickly dragged him to his room.

Bill smiled and chuckled to himself.

"Thanks again, Pinkie Pie" he said. "AND THANK YOU MR. AND MRS. CAKE!-!-!"

Pinkie smiled. "No problem! And please, call me Pinkie" she said.

She left the room, knowing that she is gonna enjoy having him stay over.

Bill got comfortable in his new bed.

He was glad the Cakes allowed him to stay over.

As he laid down on the bed, he wondered about one thing. The only thing that bothered him.

"Now that I'm in Equestria," he said to himself, "should I...I don't know...It's pretty risky..."

As he yawned and closed his eyes, he said to himself, "Do I have the chance of getting revenge on Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?


Much as changed as he thought that idea on his bed.

Hank finally brought propane to Equestria.

Hank worked and worked until the propane grill was complete, earning him his Cutie Mark.

He met Big Macintosh and brought cigarettes to Equestria (for Dale).

Bill and Boomhauer finally got their Cutie Marks.

Kahn hoped to earn a Cutie Mark on singing.

Bill and the gang volunteered as firefighters...with disastrous results.

Cotton and Big Macintosh have a brawl, but finally got along.

Cottons also earned his Cutie Mark from his fight with Big Macintosh.

As time passes, Bill keeps thinking about his plans for the snooty duo. Will he do it?


Ponyville Schoolhouse

Dale flew to the schoolhouse and, luckily for him, saw a sandbox there.

Dale also noticed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sitting on a bench, reading magazines.

Surprisingly, he saw Bill hiding in a bush with binoculars, occasionally using them to spy on the two fillies.

Dale walked towards the bush with a raised eyebrow. "Hey Bill." he said.

"SHH!" Bill shushed. "Please keep it down! I don't want those two little bitches to know I'm spying on them!"

Dale smirked. "Let me guess. You want to find their weak spots and get revenge on them, right?"

Bill slowly nodded. "Those two done so much. I'll never forgive them. I'd rather tongue-kiss Hank than to forgive them."

Dale nodded. "I've heard about them. If you want, since I'm a professional, I can help you bring those two down."

Bill smiled brightly. "You will?-!" he said. Dale nodded. "Sure. I just met them and already I don't like them."

Bill chuckled evilly. "Laugh all you want Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Soon I'LL have the last laugh...By the way, Dale, what are you doing here?"

"Personal purposes," Dale answered as he walked to the sandbox and took some sand.

As Dale grabbed some sand and put it in his jacket pocket, he walked over to the bush Bill was hiding in and hid in it.

"Besides," Dale whispered. "They bully Scootaloo. They oughta learn a lesson."

Bill raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you care for Scootaloo."

Dale just nodded, nothing more.

Eventually, as soon as it got darker, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon packed up and headed home.

Bill signaled Dale to follow him as he silently followed Diamond Tiara.


Eventually, they followed Diamond Tiara to her mansion.

Dale just shook his head and said, "This is it?!"

"What's it?" Bill asked Dale.

"You wanted revenge, right?!" Dale said. "This isn't revenge! It's stalking! People are gonna think you LIKE Diamond Tiara!!"

Bill chuckled nervously, "Well the thing is...I never did thought of what to do. I kept thinking, I'll have my revenge this and that but I never did figure it out..."

Dale sighed. "Bill, I'm a professional, but I can't go around giving ideas. Sorry man, but you're gonna have to figure this plan of yours by yourself."

Bill shrugged. "Alrighty then. Well thanks again Dale."

Dale flapped his wings. "No problem."

Bill smirked. "Going back to Rainbow Dash?"

Dale let out a nervous grin. "Yeah...you can say that." he said as he put a hoof on his pocket to double check its content.

As Dale flew away, Bill sighed. "How am I gonna figure this out?"

As Bill yawned, he thought it would be a good idea to figure out how he will get his revenge at home.

He eventually headed towards Sugar Cube Forest.