//------------------------------// // S2E4: Luna Eclipsed // Story: My Little Pony: Bureaucracy is Politic // by swirlstar //------------------------------// Season 2 Episode 4 – Luna Eclipsed The Mayor’s Office, Ponyville The Agenda 1. Ms. Sparkle’s first Bill [ ] 2. LONG TERM - Secure political control of the Legislative Council. [ ] Mayor Mare put down the piece of paper and leant back contentedly, sensing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to ingratiate herself with the Princess. Two soft knocks on the door reminded the politician to let her expected guest in. “Hello? Mayor?” Twilight Sparkle’s muffled voice asked. The gray-maned pony immediately jumped out of her seat and sauntered towards the door. “Come in, come in!” she enthusiastically greeted. “Mr. Ribbon has already informed me of your plans.” “Oh, did he? Did he?” Twilight’s voice was bubbling with excitement. “Oh, that’s great, Mayor!” The politician ushered her protégé to the desk. “Tea?” The finest Cantlemile filled two teacups. “Thank you, oh thank you, Mayor!” the bookish mare, temporarily forgetting etiquette, downed the contents in one gulp. “Oh, you won’t believe how long I’ve waited for this! Thank you so much, Mayor, for- ” “That’s quite all right, Ms. Sparkle,” the bespectacled mare interjected, slightly bemused at the excessive enthusiasm. “It’s a new experience, I guess.” “New experience?” the magical pony pounced out of her seat in amazement. “This is more than a new experience, Mayor! It’s belonging! It’s being part of the community! It’s being able to really do things that affect- ” “Whoa there, Ms. Sparkle,” the gray-maned mare couldn’t resist chuckling a little at the unicorn’s expense. “We still have some way to go.” Twilight withdrew, blushing at her unexpected outburst. “Sorry, Mayor.” “That’s fine. No doubt Her Highness will appreciate your efforts. Have you any idea of what you want to introduce legislation on?” “Well… ” the purple mare rubbed her chin in thought. “I do have something in mind, but I need some time to think about the details. A few days, maybe?” Mayor Mare smiled at the thought of how much the Princess Celestia would be in her debt. “Of course, Ms. Sparkle. In the meantime, let me talk to Ms. Heartstrings to gather support.” * The ‘Duke of Mane’ Restaurant, Ponyville “Hmph.” Lyra Heartstrings scrunched her face up in a pout and crossed her forelegs grimly. “I still see no need to support anything of Twilight’s.” Mayor Mare sighed. The past hour of negotiations had yielded no fruit: it was folly to imagine another would change the mare’s mind. Yet, for her own sake, she had to try! The tan pony opted for an alternative approach. “Ms. Heartstrings,” Mayor Mare began, delicately pronouncing every word. “Her Highness will not be pleased to see you actively obstructing her student’s lessons.” The lime-green pony rolled her eyes, long anticipating this argument. “Look, Mayor. The Princess makes a big show about non-interference in local affairs. She’s not going to risk her political chips for you; she’s not going to risk them for Ms. Sparkle’s lessons either.” It was, of course, the truth. Mayor Mare gritted her teeth as she sought to respond to her political ally. Her opponent’s utter self-satisfaction only made things worse. “You should really be satisfied with your rump on that plush leather chair,” the cyan-maned pony cooed. “Don’t push your luck.” The tan mare strained out a smile, contrary to every inch of her being. “I won’t, Lyra- Ms. Heartstrings, I mean.” “Good.” The cyan pony looked back. “Waiter, have my friend here pay the bill, please.” * The Mayor’s Office, Ponyville Thump. A thick stack of foolscap skidded to a halt in front of Mayor Mare. “Whew!” Twilight rubbed her brow in satisfaction. “And who would’ve thought that the acronym would be the most difficult part of the bill?” Mayor Mare scrutinized the daunting pile of dead wood. “The PONY Bill,” she read. The lavender mare giggled at her own wit. “You get it? PONY Bill… Ponyville? That took ages!” “Ah.” The tan pony let out a polite cough in lieu of laughter. “I see.” The politician’s mind was on other things. How am I going to tell her that I can’t get Lyra on board? Maybe I should try talking to Filly Buster again…? “Oh, I knew you’d love it, Mayor!” the magical unicorn chirped with glee. “The PONY Bill: the Prepare Our Naïve Youngsters Bill! Oh, this is going to be so great!” That caught the politician’s attention. “Prepare Our Naïve Youngsters?” she repeated. “Prepare for what?” Twilight flailed her arms about, just bursting to tell her mentor about almost everything. “Well, you see, during Nightmare Night, I was wearing a Starswirl the Bearded costume, but nopony realized who I was! Now that’s inexcusable, given the wizard’s contributions to ponykind, so I considered forming a history group to teach every filly and colt about pony history. But then, I thought: ‘why not use my position as a Councilor to REFORM history education instead?’ Then nopony will ever be in the dark about Equestria’s history, and nopony will ever not recognize Starswirl the Bearded again!” That is the most ridiculous excuse for- wait. The meaning of Twilight’s soliloquy finally registered with the bespectacled mare’s brain. “So this is an educational bill?” “Yes, Mayor! I’ll make sure the kids get taught real history!” the bookish mare beamed with fervent anticipation. The glint of political opportunity twinkled in the tan pony’s eye. “Ms. Sparkle- ” “And with the support you’ve helped me get, Mayor, we’ll improve Ponyvillians’ minds for generations and generations!” the lavender pony mused. “Maybe one day, they’ll even dress up as you and me!” “They will, Ms. Sparkle; they will.” * Ponyville Legislative Council Chamber, Ponyville --- EDUCATION COMMITTEE: FULL COMMITTEE HEARING ON THE PREPARE OUR NAÏVE YOUNGSTERS BILL --- Witness: Ms. Cheerilee Secretary for State Crimson Ribbon slid into his seat next to Mayor Mare. “I will say this again, Mayor: don’t support this bill. You have nothing to gain from angering Lyra.” “There’s no way she can oppose an educational bill, Mr. Ribbon,” the tan pony retorted. “She can’t stop this from passing.” “May I remind you,” the bureaucrat hissed, “that Lyra can kick you out at any- ” “Shh!” Mayor Mare held up a hoof to silence the gray stallion. Councilor Lyra Heartstrings, Chairpony (and only member) of the Educational Committee, banged her gavel twice to call the room to attention. “Now that I have analyzed Ms. Cheerilee’s opening statement, may I ask you a few questions regarding her support of the PONY Bill?” “Of course, Ms. Chairpony,” the schoolteacher nodded, closing her eyes in rapt concentration. “Alright then. The first question is this: if the PONY Bill does come into effect, its recommendations will put you over the union limit for teaching hours. Isn’t this a reason to dismiss this legislation?” “Of course,” Lyra hastily clarified, “that is the last thing I want to do.” Cheerilee was prepared for this. “Ms. Chairpony: in that case, I will teach less of the subjects where the schoolfillies are doing better at. After all, the alternative is rejecting this bill, and nopony should be seen opposing education for the young – especially history education, which I have mentioned earlier as being sub-par.” “Yes!” Scootaloo jumped up in glee. “Score one for- ” “ORDER!” The gavel struck twice again. Lyra sensed that she was being boxed into a corner. “Understood, Ms. Cheerilee. Second question: how do we know that the poor results in history were due to the syllabus, and not through your own teaching? I mean, if they were, I’d have no reason to approve this bill. Which I obviously don’t want- ” “Hey! You can’t say that to Miss- !” Sweetie Belle raised her voice in protest. “Guards!” The cyan pony rapped the desk impatiently. “Throw the offenders out of the committee room, please.” Cheerilee tried not to look at Sweetie Belle as two burly stallions dragged the Cutie Mark Crusaders, kicking and screaming, from the room. Well, bringing the class here for Civic Studies was a mistake. “I won the History Prize while in university,” the schoolteacher answered, mind back to the original task. “And I don’t believe my teaching would suddenly worsen during a history lesson. Even if what you are charging were true, I would hire another history teacher instead. After all, the alternative is rejecting the PONY Bill, and nopony should be seen opposing education for the young.” Lyra twitched. She was being boxed in, and she was running out of good questions. “I will remind you, Ms. Cheerilee, that I am a supporter of the PONY Bill. Third question: how are you so sure that the kids don’t know any history? If the core assumptions are wrong, then this bill has no reason to exist. Of course, I think there are such reasons, but I’d like to hear your opinion.” Cheerilee shrugged. “I have the records, Ms. Chairpony. And even if the core assumptions are wrong, there’s always room for improvement. After all, the alternative- ” “I see,” the cyan pony interjected impotently. “In any case, given your testimony, I see no reason to dismiss the PONY Bill at the committee stage. Not that I ever wanted to,” she hurriedly added. “Well, now that our business is done, the committee will stand adjourned.” Crimson Ribbon learnt into Mayor Mare’s ear as the duo rose to leave. “Good performance,” he congratulated. “Thanks. I always knew Cheerie inherited the good genes.” * Canterlot Convention Center, Canterlot “Come on, Lyra,” Bon Bon tried to reassure her glum companion as they flitted from stall to stall. “Just enjoy the Book Fair. Who cares if Twilight’s bill passes?” “I care,” the cyan pony moped. “It’s gone through first reading already. I need to stop it before it’s too late.” “For Pete’s sake, Lyra. She’s saved Ponyville several times over already. Think of it as her reward.” “You don’t understand! I can’t let Twilight’s confidence rise. With her prestige and backing, she’d be politically unstoppable.” Lyra pawed the ground in angst. “And I want to be Mayor someday.” “Well,” Bon Bon huffed as she stopped to browse. “I still think you’re being really catty towards somepony who has saved all of our lives.” “You know she’s being used by the Mayor, Bon.” “That doesn’t mean – oh wow, look,” A book had caught the eye of the confectionary pony. “Can you believe they let this get published?” “Huh?” the cyan pony’s eyes scanned the title. “‘The Cockpit of Rebellion: West Phalia, Old Ponyville and the Lunar Republic.’ Taking advantage of the recently-opened Canterlot archives, renowned scholar- wait a minute.” Lyra’s orange eyes lit up. The devil of an idea had struck. “What is it, Lyra?” a perplexed Bon Bon asked. The cyan pony grinned at her companion. “Bon, you always make my day.” * Ponyville Legislative Council Chamber, Ponyville A sense of dread crept up onto the Convenor of LegCo, Mayor Mare. Lyra was throwing her full weight behind the PONY Bill. Something bad was about to happen. “…and, of course, we always want to provide the best education for our kids,” Lyra continued. “And the PONY Bill helps us do that!” Twilight Sparkle was overjoyed. “Oh, thank you, thank you, Ms. Heartstrings!” Mayor Mare facehoofed. This little unicorn still had some way to go. “I’m so glad you agree with me, Ms. Sparkle,” the cyan-maned mare smirked. “But may I take this opportunity to insert a little amendment.” The bespectacled mare could only watch helplessly as the lavender pony leant forward eagerly. “I’m always up for new ideas, Councilor Heartstrings! After all, that’s what education is about, isn’t it?” “Sure, sure,” Lyra waved a piece of paper around, keen to get to her point. “I propose to add this amendment: that the PONY Bill include a provision to encourage the teaching of local history in the Ponyville School District.” The cyan pony surveyed the staid chamber, obviously quite pleased to see her plan succeeding so stealthily. Nopony seemed too alarmed by the newest development. Something is wrong here, the tan pony narrowed her eyes. But I can’t put my hoof on it! Twilight Sparkle was less circumspect. “Oh, that’s a great idea! I’ll definitely vote for that amendment!” Lyra’s smile grew ever wider. * Mayor Mare’s House, Ponyville “Urgh!” Cheerilee slammed her copy of Misty of Chincoteague shut in frustration. Of all the days that she could have been late for dinner – it HAD to be today! The schoolteacher cast an annoyed glance at the kitchen table. The once-delectably delicious cream of mushroom soup had gone cold, an unsightly skin forming on its tepid surface. “And I spent an hour on that darned thing- ” Riing! “About time,” the cerise pony muttered. She picked up the phone and demanded an explanation. “What?!” “… I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” a terrified voice on the other end squeaked. Wait, that's not Mom! “What? Oh dear,” she backtracked rapidly. “Sorry. Who is this?” The caller had not yet recovered. “T- Twilight?” it stammered. “Oh! Well I’m guessing you want to speak to her, but- ” “Oh no no no!” the unicorn interrupted hastily. “That’s not- ” “You want to talk to me?” Now the schoolteacher was puzzled. “Y-yes,” the studious pony mumbled in trepidation. “Well I mean, please pass this on to the Mayor. If you can. Please.” “Alright, Twilight. What’s the matter?” A pause on the other end of the line. “I-I… c-can’t… I have to withdraw the Bill,” the magical unicorn gulped. “Oh?” the schoolteacher raised an eyebrow. “Why? It was genuinely a good idea.” “Well… um… er…” the normally-verbose pony was quite hesitant. “The Princesses… well… I can’t tell you. S-sorry.” Maybe it’s just inexperience, the cherry-maned pony surmised. “Is it Lyra’s amendment? You could try and reject it; see if the other Councilors follow your lead.” Twilight was really hoping to end this conversation soon. “Well… er… ponies would then ask why… anyway,” she concluded, voice trembling. “I just can’t let the Bill pass. I’m sorry… I didn’t know… please tell the Mayor- ” “Don’t worry, Twilight,” Cheerilee consoled. “It’s not your fault. I’ll make sure the Mayor sees that.”