//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: How to Bore a Commissioner // by Shieldheart204 //------------------------------// Chapter 1 Shield Heart was laying down quietly in his straw mattress feet-to-the-wall in an unpainted bedroom in his house in Ponyville. It was Wednesday morning, and he felt really alone. Shining Armor left on Sunday, which really made him sad. He was the closest thing he had to a friend in this miserable town. Also his friends all postponed his housewarming party until he was returned to active duty. They all said the same thing: Orders from HQ. So he took a moment of his bored life to take stock. He had a large house, an arsenal in his basement, four all-terrain Four-Wheeled motorcycles and no form of entertainment for the next month. This really wasn't looking very promising. He was glad that at least Fire Storm had taken the time to pack his clothes and other trophies and send them his way. Now he just had to go around unpacking the boxes But to his great dismay the warm weather in Ponyville was drastically different from that of the cold north of Vanhoover. This meant he wouldn't be able to wear most of the clothing he had before, and also meant he had to acquire a new style. He was relieved that his friends had at least bothered to send his Gamesphere, four controllers and his collection of video games. Now he knew now he could satisfy his need for blood, even if it wasn't the same. Nothing could beat the sensation of killing an animal and eat its... There was a knock on his door. "Shield are you in there?" Asked the bewildered voice of Cadence. Shield answered by moaning like one of the zombies from the new action flicks he liked watching. "Please, it's been three days since you've left the house! You need some fresh air!" "I have a balcony, thank you!" He exclaimed as he pointed over to his sliding doors behind a pair of thick onyx curtains. The balcony was what he called the vantage point. At night he would grab his Macintosh hunting rifle and take aim at the forest, hoping that something threatening would show up so he could shoot it. So far he hadn't had the chance to shoot at anything potentially dangerous, but he wasn't going to give up. "Please just come outside! Rarity needs to talk to you!" Yelled Cadence once more. He really regretted letting her stay in his home. But he really couldn't find the strength to abandon a childhood friend in need. And anyway, who was going to clean up the rest of the house, him? Like he could even manage to sweep a room properly. "I'm sure you can handle it, after all if I make my choices you'll just disagree with me." "This is your house! You should be the one making the decisions, not your friend!" Protested the melodious voice of Rarity. "I always thought you were a better man than this." Shield looked at himself, he was wearing shorts and a tee. Both of which were in horrible conditions since he hadn't bothered of changing in the three days he's been confined. The room was also littered with boxes of pizza which became his nutrients during his time in solitude. "Not gonna happen!" Was his reply. .oOo. Princess Cadence was at the other side of the door hearing her old friend's reply. "This is ridiculous, it's like I'm dealing with a child. But I've had enough of this, I'm getting Twilight to blast this door open. He is getting out of this room today whether he wants to or not!" She said as she stormed out of the house. Rarity followed her until the door. "I'll keep trying to convince him, maybe we can still solve this through diplomacy." She said calmly. "Be my guest, but if he isn't out of his room by the time I come back with Twilight he'll wish he had done it the good way." Responded the princess of love as she left the premise. The seamstress walked back to the door. "Shield Heart, why don't you want to come out?" She asked. "Because there's nothing for me out there, at all." He answered coldly from inside. "What are you talking about? There is plenty to do in this town! We can go to the orchards..." She started before being interrupted. "I meant there isn't any sort of action like I'm used to! It's been three days and there hasn't been a single cry for help, not one!" He yelled. "Oh come now! There are more ways to keep busy that do not require someone to be in trouble." She heard some movement from inside, it appeared he was approaching the door. "Ma'am, do you have any idea what my job consists of?" "Your job is about helping people, but I doubt that it means that someone needs to be in mortal peril." "And what alternatives do you propose?" He asked as a thud was heard. Rarity imagined it must have been his head. "You could always find a job or find some sort of hobby to keep you busy." She replied. "There's no army or police force to keep me busy, so I seriously doubt that there's anything worthy of my time." "Oh don't be so negative, I'm sure there's something for a handsome young lad such as yourself." "As much as I love flattery, miss, I seriously suggest you stop. My jobs so far have been on a military career track, I really don't know how to do anything else." "Oh pish posh! I'm sure you have some other interests, like painting, or walking, or maybe you could help Twilight in the library. I saw your box full of novels and must admit you have a good taste. Starhoof Troopers was a good book, even though I'm not into the whole military lifestyle. And what about that book, The Mechanical Angel? I never took you for one who could like romance." She heard him stand up and approach the door. "What else did you see?" He asked with some concern in his voice. "Did you spy on the other boxes?" She gasped. "I feel insulted at the very question! I merely happened to see those books when I entered to inspect the premise." She paused for a moment. "I would never search through your belongings without your permission. I am a lady." "Exactly my point." He answered before grunting. "Sorry about that, I'm used to dealing with those idiot aristocrats. Stupid brain!" She then heard a slap. The front door opened quietly and soon Twilight Sparkle was near her. "Don't you fret dear, I know how people are sometimes. Anyway, have you thought about my idea? Hmm?" She smiled at the librarian and signaled her to back off a little. "I'm sure Twilight would agree with me." "I don't know..." He answered, his voice dripping with doubt. Things were finally looking up. And Cadence arrived. "So how about you open that door dear?" Continued the violet-haired woman. "Could you please do it for me?" And to their surprise the knob began turning, then the door started opening slowly. They caught a glimpse of his eye against a very dark room. A putrid smell emerged from inside and a man with unkempt hair peeked out. Twilight was the only one to speak. "Did something die in there?" Cadence immediately rushed over to door, hoping to slam it open and avoid losing her chance. But Shield was alert and quickly slammed the door in her face. Rarity sighed. "It was going so well, I almost had him!" "Sorry." Said the princess as she turned to her other friend. "Think you can help us open the door?" "Don't you have a spare key." Asked the librarian. "I did but SOMEBODY took it from me in my sleep!" She roared against the door. They heard a body fall unto the bed and another moan. "I don't suppose you have an alternative." "Of course! I just so happen to have the perfect spell to pick the lock." Answered Twilight as she prepared her wand. With a swish she unleashed a raspberry bolt toward the lock, but this keyhole struck back. The force of the enemy bolt pushed her backwards. They could hear maniacal laughter from inside. "What's so funny?" Asked Cadence. "You actually thought you could just walk through my door? Seriously, you know me better." He responded before he started snoring. Rarity and Cadence helped Twilight get back up. "Don't worry, I have another plan, one that's definitely foolproof." She said as she withdrew a small tan book. She flipped through several pages and started copying a rune she saw. As soon as she finished it the symbol floated in midair before rushing towards the lock and producing a satisfying click. Cadence immediately pushed the door open and her nose punished her for it. Aside from the pizza boxes there was also several bottles of soda and milkshakes. These, combined with the stink produced by a man and adding farts and burps and this is what the room smelled like. The curtains leading to the balcony were closed, preventing sunlight from entering his room. Rarity tried to maneuver through the mess and neared the curtains. She grabbed them and prepared to open them. "Gently please." Said a curled up blond as he lay in bed. "I've got a certain weakness to the sun." She paid no heed to his warnings. She pulled the curtains as fast as she could and the ten o'clock sun shed some much needed light to the room. She then opened the balcony door and stepped outside to breath some fresh air. Shield Heart hissed loudly as the sun's rays struck his eyes. He got out of bed and covered his eyes as he fumbled through the floor. His left leg was puffy and didn't support his weight. With a loud thud he hit his head against the nightstand. "Who could possibly survive in this cesspool?" Exclaimed Rarity as she entered the room. "You sir have much to answer for. And what is with your leg?" "It burns!" He yelled in a very high-pitched voice. "It burns us! We don't understand how you..." He never got to finishing his sentence because he was smacked with today's newspaper by the Princess of Love. "Behave yourself!" She commanded. Shield was a complete mess, his entire body was smelly, there were stains in his pajamas, and his breath stank worse that a clogged sewage pipe. His hair was a complete mess, and he now sported a long beard. "You will take a shower now and you will take me to see the doctor in fifteen minutes whether you want to or not!" Exclaimed the tri-colored woman with authority. "Okay, we'll do as master says." He said quietly in his faked voice as he grabbed a shirt, a pair of jeans and some clean underwear before wobbling into the bathroom. "I'm so sorry you had to see this, I really don't know what's going on." She said as she started picking up the the trash. "I think he's experiencing an Identity Crisis." Responded Twilight as she picked up the straws and paper glasses. "What? Him? He knows perfectly who he is, he can't possibly have that." "But I agree with Twilight, it can't be easy to move from a job in the army where you must conduct drills all day to life in here. He feels confused, as if there is nothing for him to do." "Really? Did he say those things while I was gone?" "He said there was nothing for him to do that could relate to his job. He is a soldier at heart, and what could a soldier do in a peaceful place like this?" She asked as she removed the sheets from the bed. Twilight and Cadence have each other puzzled looks. "No idea." "Exactly, we know next to nothing about him yet we expect him to adapt to our alien environment." She asked as she left the room. "That does make some sense, but what can we do to help him? There's no conflict anywhere near here, and it's not like he'll " "No, but maybe we can create a substitute. He seems to be fond of reading, something I believe we can use this to distract him from his tasks." "How did you figure this out?" "It was the day his delivery from Vanhoover came over. One of the boxes was somewhat open and I managed to catch a glimpse of some comic books and some regular ones too. I must admit his taste is rather refined. Maybe he could help out in the library, or at least we can convince him to read." "I never would have guessed." Said Twilight as she exited the room. "Yes, and do you know anything about the other boxes he brought? One of them looked very similar to the cases where he stored his weapons." "Shield wouldn't let me near them, saying things like it's nothing to worry about. Which I'm sure means the opposite." Answered Cadence as she dumped the boxes on the garbage can outside. "He left the box you were talking about back in his basement. He's even installed a special lock on the door. It only opens to his hand and eye." They walked back into the house and found Shield walking over to the kitchen. His hair was now clean of grime, his face free of beards and his presentation now acceptable. He was wearing a short-sleeved tee with a silver double-headed eagle imprinted on the front. His denim pants looked almost new, and completely intact. He was sporting his oak cane on his left hand, and he seemed somewhat drained of emotion. "Oh, hey. I'll be ready in a sec. You can go to Pabu if you want." He recommended as he went down the stairs. Twilight left the house with her former babysitter, but Rarity followed him. He went down the stairs and placed his hand on a black panel next to the white door. With a buzz the panel came to life and moved a white line from top to bottom. Then a small spheres emerge above the palm reader and produced a laser beam aimed at his left eye. After a second the door opened a d Shield walked inside. The seamstress followed. The white tiled room was very similar to before, except now there were metal racks holding various weapons, from small pistols to large assault rifles. "Why did you follow me miss Rarity? I thought I told you to wait for me in the garage." He said as he walked over to a mannequin and removed the blue greatcoat it was wearing. He placed the coat on a counter and put on a pair of leather bracers. The back of his shirt read: Vanhoover Steel Legion. Never Give Up, Never Back Down. He didn't stop, continuing to put on an onyx vest with two opals on the back. "What is that?" She asked. "This is a dragon scale vest outfitted with a special barrier matrix powered by those two opals." He said as he pointed both of his thumbs to the gems. "Are those real dragon scales?" She asked with a worried look. "Yup, I had a little showdown with one a while ago and my friends salvaged as much as they could. Which was actually a lot since I managed to keep most of the beast intact." He talked. He put on his set of holsters all over his body and tightening all of the straps. He then began arming himself. He grabbed a pair of pistols from the counter and spun them around his fingers. He later holstered them and eyed the rest of the arsenal. Rarity began to inspect the racks, and noticed that each rack was labeled according to the model they had. One specific rack caught her eye, the one labeled: Vulcan-Pattern Mark VI Mana Rifle. What interested her was not the design of the guns, but the fact that there were four gunmetal rifles and one black rifle. She carefully grabbed the odd one and examined it. She was stunned by the beauty, the gold and silver linings showed the weapon must have been made by expert craftsmen. The lines weren't painted on, they were seamlessly integrated with the entire rifle. She had never seen jewelry that could match this degree of perfection. And coming from someone who had people show her the finest pieces from all over Equestria. "That was an early birthday gift from the Legion. They must have thought that I needed superior firepower." The fashionista quickly turned around to see the blond standing right behind her, his hands holding a black, short weapon in his hands. She was startled. "Really? And how far is your birthday?" "It's eleven days away, ninth of June. If you must know." He said grimly as he concealed his gun. "Must you always walk around armed?" "Yes, yes I must. A plumber is nothing without a plunger, a seamstress is nothing without a needle and a commissioner is nothing without a gun." "You do raise a valid point, maybe we should just leave." Said Rarity as she left the black gun back in its place and walking it of the room. "Yeah, we should do that." He responded as he walked out the basement.