"So let me get this straight." The voice of Captain Shining Armor easily carried throughout the barracks. "Not only does Princess Celestia trust these creatures, who have brutalized and/or killed several of my stallions, she also wants to have them become her personal bodyguards by joining the Equestrian Royal Guard?"
"That would appear to be the case, sir," Cobalt Shine coolly replied.
Shining Armor sighed and dragged a hoof over his face. "I know I've said this before, but is SHE CRAZY?!" he shouted. Cobalt Shine did not deem that worthy of reply and instead fixed Shining with his trademark cool, unamused stare.
"If I may, Captain," the Ultra spoke up. Shining Armor turned his angry gaze to the aliens but said nothing, waiting for the Ultra to continue. "Our previous actions in the courtyard were fueled by a combination of Covenant beliefs and suspicion of your race. Neither are applicable any longer. As for the deaths, they were ALL caused by the hated Minor, who is no friend of ours. As I understand it, he is soon to suffer a fiery fate in Tartarus, and such a punishment is, in our minds, well deserved. So please, have some faith that we are not your enemies."
Shining stared for a moment or two before he sighed again. "Very well. I can't believe I'm about to do this, but who am I if not a loyal servant of the crown? I will do as she requests, and take these creatures out to the training grounds for evaluations."
Cobalt Shine smirked in amusement. "Very good, sir. I will take my leave."
Shining Armor nodded exasperatedly and waved him off. "All right, Privates!" he boomed. "Today's your lucky day! Hit the showers and take the afternoon off. But drill begins tomorrow at 0800 sharp, and forty laps for anypony not ready to go! Am I understood?!"
"SIR, YES SIR!" came the loud reply.
"Dismissed! Lieutenant Iron Helm! Front and center!"
"Sir!" called a burly, white earth pony who had stepped out from the row of officers overseeing the previous drills. The Ultra could not tell him apart from any of the privates that were leaving the room, despite the fact that he was evidently a ranking officer. An interesting method of keeping officers alive, he mused. "You wanted me, sir?"
"Yes, Lieutenant. You are to assist me in evaluating the creatures known as Ultra, Bok, and Pip-Pap. Please acquire the necessary paperwork and meet me at the practice range." Lieutenant Iron Helm snapped a salute and headed deeper into the castle to carry out his orders.
While Shining Armor gave a few more orders to his remaining officers, Cobalt Shine approached the group of aliens and smiled sadly. "Looks like this is goodbye, friends. My duties call. Good luck with your evaluations."
"Goodbye to you, friend, and thank you. May you always walk the Blessed Path," the Ultra replied.
"Goodbye, Cobalt Shine. Thanks for everything," Pip-Pap squeaked. Bok waved sadly and chirped his farewell also.
The Ultra ended the farewell by confidently exclaiming, "we shall meet again." Cobalt Shine smiled ruefully but said nothing more as he exited the barracks, off to receive new orders from Celestia no doubt.
The three aliens turned to see Captain Shining Armor staring at them. They stared back, unsure of what to say. "WELL?" he suddenly roared, causing the group of extraterrestrials to flinch in shock. "Are you going to just stand there like a bunch of slack-jawed idiots, or are we going to move out?"
The Ultra decided to speak up. "We are right here, and can hear you just fine. There is no need to shout."
Shining Armor rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Of course there isn't!" he retorted in a more normal tone. "But I'm your commanding officer right now. I'm supposed to be like that!"
"But...why?" a curious Pip-Pap inquired.
"Because...well...I..." Shining Armor sputtered, unsure of how to explain himself.
"Is it a rule?" the Ultra offered the floundering Captain.
"No it's not a rule!" he shouted indignantly. "It's...just...how we've always done things! It's nothing personal, just accept it! AM I UNDERSTOOD?!" he roared, returning to his seemingly angry manner.
"How...odd," the Ultra commented. His allies agreed.
The Captain sighed defeatedly. "You're supposed to reply with 'yes, sir'..." he moaned.
"Oh. My apologies. Yes, sir," the Ultra apologized.
"Yes, sir," Pip-Pap mimicked.
"Ya," Bok croaked.
"What's that?" the Captain shouted, perking up noticeably. "I can't hear you! Louder!"
"Yes, sir," the aliens chorused half-heartedly, slightly louder than before.
"LOUDER!"
"Yes, sir!"
"LOOOOUDERRRRR!!"
"YES, SIR!" the aliens screamed. They all shared a glance that said 'this is stupid' but complied anyways.
"Better," Shining Armor said happily. "Follow me to the practice range, Privates! Let's see what you're made of!"
The Ultra cast a despaired look at his comrades and shook his head in exasperation, but wordlessly followed the crazy Captain outside. The others hastily followed suit.
"Those fancy, glowing gizmos of yours ARE weapons, correct?" Shining Armor inquired as he led the trio of aliens down a grassy hill.
"That would be an accurate deduction," the Ultra replied.
"Good. Since those are undoubtedly the weapons you're most used to, I will allow you to use them for the marksmanship evaluation. Fair?"
"That is agreeable." Shining Armor sighed and muttered something unintelligible regarding 'simple answers.' The Ultra smirked.
Cresting a small rise, a large field with several wooden bulls-eye targets at one end came into view. Lieutenant Iron Helm was already present. He held a clipboard and several pieces of paper in one hoof, and a golden stopwatch hung around his neck. "Ah, Lieutenant. You have everything?" Shining called.
"I do, sir."
"Very good. Let us begin. The Ultra will start." Turning to the aliens, the Captain began to explain. "The goal is to hit the four targets as quickly and accurately as possible, without crossing this line that marks a distance of two hundred hoof lengths. Ultra, step up to the line and prepare to fire on my mark." The Ultra did as he was instructed, his right hand hovering near his trusty plasma rifle. Hitting the targets? That was it? This would be no problem for his team.
"Ready..." His hand flexed.
"Set..." The Ultra narrowed his eyes.
"FIRE!" So quickly the ponies almost missed it, the Ultra whipped out his rifle and sent four two-shot bursts of blue death hurtling downrange with plasma weaponry's distinct pew pew sound. The bolts all thudded into their respective targets, leaving blue, smoldering pockmarks where they landed. The Ultra smiled. Six bulls-eyes and two near misses. Not bad.
Captain Shining Armor thought so, too. "Not bad. Not bad at all," he said in a voice about one octave higher than usual. "A very high score." He signaled to his Lieutenant, who began setting up four small catapults loaded with bright red apples. "In addition to stationary targets, we want to see how well you can hit moving targets. Keep in mind that we usually use crossbows down here, so we usually only shoot one apple at a time. For you guys, however, I think we'll shoot all four at once." Lieutenant Iron Helm returned to his post, four ropes dangling from his mouth. "Alright, ready? Three...two...one...BOLT!"
The air filled with deadly blue plasma fire as the Ultra attempted to gun down the apples. Two evaporated as they were struck directly, but the other two thudded softly against the ground. Shining Armor's eyes were as big as small saucers. "Okay then. Very good yet again... Alright Pip-Pap, you next."
The short, stocky alien sauntered up to the line. Not quite as proficient as the Ultra, Pip-Pap opted to unholster his weapon immediately, and held it at the ready. "Ready...set...FIRE!" This time, eight green bullets were expelled downrange in rapid succession, though not quite as rapid as the previous demonstration. The shots were also not quite as accurate. Four bulls-eyes, three near misses, and one shot that struck about halfway from the edge of the target made up Pip-Pap's score. Still not bad at all.
"Very good," Shining Armor squeaked, unnerved by such deadly displays of accuracy. "A high score as well. Now for the apples. Three...two...one...BOLT!" Once again Pip-Pap was outdone by his ex-commander, but still managed to tag one of the tiny, distant, moving apples.
"Very good yet again!" came the squeak. He jerked his head again, not trusting his own voice anymore. Bok trotted eagerly up to the line, took out his needler, and began to fiddle with it. After a moment or two, he gave the thumbs-up. "Ready...set...FIRE!"
Tchink! Tchink! Tchink!
Shining Armor's eyes widened even farther in confusion as he watched eight pink needles drift lazily down the range. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, however, when all eight needles stuck fast in the four bulls-eyes. But Bok wasn't done yet. Oh no, not by a long shot. Unleashing eight more needles, the ponies' jaws hit the ground as the fourth set of needles struck their targets and incinerated them in brilliant pink blasts. Bok grinned cheekily.
"The BUCK was that?!" Shining Armor demanded, his voice shrill.
The Ultra chuckled. "That, sir, is what we call a supercombine. Only the needler and needle rifle can cause them. They are highly effective anti-personnal weapons, as you can see."
Shining's jaw worked soundlessly as he struggled to come up with something to say to that. Deciding to keep things moving along, Lieutenant Iron Helm spoke up. "Let's just move on to the apples, shall we?" Bok nodded and shrugged his focus rifle off of his shoulder. Bok fiddled with the weapon for a moment, and a low-pitched whine started as it powered up. Again came the thumbs-up to the very confused ponies. "Okay...three...two...one...BOLT!"
FSSHHHEEWWW! FFFSSSHHEWWW!
If the two ponies' jaws were dropped before, now they were digging small holes. Their pupils were so small they could just barely be seen. They also appeared to be frozen in place. Bok had managed to eviscerate not one, not two, but ALL FOUR apples with brilliant beams of golden energy. The Ultra waved a hand in front of Shining's face, attempting to get a reaction. When none was forthcoming, the taller alien turned to his comrades with a shrug and the trio opted to lounge around in the sun until the officers came around.
"This next exercise will test your mobility on the battlefield," Shining Armor explained as he led the aliens away from the field. It had taken a while, but eventually the Captain and Lieutenant came to their senses, recorded the trio's admittedly impressive scores, ordered new targets, and pretended their relapse had never happened. The aliens were wise enough to not comment on the odd occurrence.
"It's of the utmost importance that members of the Royal Guard be able to perform their duty no matter what sort of terrain may impede them. Most rookies are unable to complete the obstacle course on their first try, so don't feel bad if you mess up." Cresting a rise, a large wooden structure came into view. A large part of it was encircled by a rather fast-moving stream, with only one bridge and one fallen log bridging its waters. The structure itself was tall, and towered over a few obstacles on the ground.
"Welcome, Privates, to the Equestrian Royal Guard Training Course. You will be scored on the number of obstacles completed and the time to complete said obstacles. Any questions?" The aliens shook their heads. "Good. Lieutenant Iron Helm, please demonstrate to the Privates how the course is supposed to be run."
"E-Excuse me, sir?" Iron Helm asked incredulously, clearly shocked by the request.
"Did I stutter, Lieutenant?" Shining Armor roared. "Get up there and show them how it's done!"
"Y-Yes, sir!" And with that panicked exclamation, the burly earth pony took off towards the structure. The group of aliens watched with interest as the Lieutenant huffed and puffed his way up the rock wall, swung shakily over the mud pit on monkey bars, got tangled as he climbed the net, barely made the rope swing crossing, plummeted to the ground on the sliding pole, languidly army crawled through the wooden tunnel, stumbled through the series of half-barrels, and finally tripped on the fallen log and fell, screaming, into the raging river, eliciting snickers from not only the ex-Covenant but Captain Shining Armor as well.
His horn aglow with his trademark magenta aura, Shining lifted the dripping Lieutenant out of the river and deposited him on his shaky hooves before the group. "Mission...complete...sir..." he managed, giving a half-hearted salute before collapsing.
"Very good, Lieutenant. Thank you for the, ah, stellar demonstration." Iron Helm simply groaned in response and muttered something unintelligible about his rookie days. "All right," Shining began, back to being serious. "Now that you know how to run the course, let's see it! Ultra, you first."
"Very well, sir." The Ultra stepped up to the white line before the bridge and tensed, ready to spring into action.
"On your mark...get set...GO!" The Ultra leaped forward, and with several powerful strides, reached the structure. Vaulting into the air, the Ultra grabbed onto the rock wall halfway up before quickly and easily scampering the rest of the way up. Taking the monkey bars three at a time, he traversed the mud pit just as easily. The net was no match for his long limbs, nor was the rope swing. Forsaking the pole, the Ultra simply leapt to the ground, his powerful legs absorbing the impact with a loud thud. He easily crawled under the wooden planks, effortlessly hopped through the barrels, and cartwheeled over the log just to show off a bit before trotting back to the start. "Finished," he announced, not showing any signs of exertion.
"Yes. Indeed. Well done yet again." The squeak was back in full force. "Most impressive marks for a rookie. Okay Pip-Pap, let's see what you've got." Shining nevertheless pressed on with the evaluations, uncooperative voice be darned.
The smaller Grunt uncertainly plodded up to the white line, his stocky limbs tensed both in anticipation and trepidation. "On your mark...get set...GO!" Pip-Pap charged forward, his short legs moving almost in a blur as they carried him to the structure. Reaching it in fair time, the Unggoy wasted little time and immediately started to clamber up the rock wall, his clawed hands easily finding purchase. He slipped once or twice, but doggedly pressed on. Only taking the bars one at a time, he nonetheless demonstrated impressive upper body strength as he swung rapidly over the mud pit. The net gave his shorter limbs slight trouble, but he eventually made it to the top, easily leaped off the rope after the swing, and fluidly slid down the pole.
He paused at the wooden planks. His methane tank would not fit underneath. But just as Shining was about to deduct points Pip-Pap surprised everyone present by lying down on his side and pulling himself through the tunnel. He had to hop slightly in order to pass the barrels, and tripped once or twice as he did so, but finally managed to wobble over the log and return to the start, panting rather heavily.
Shining Armor was shocked. What appeared to be a very clumsy and slow creature had just surpassed their most difficult course with fiery determination and sheer aptitude. He didn't know what to say. "Huh...buh...I...uh..."
The Ultra smirked. "Having difficulties, sir?" he jested.
Shining Armor recovered enough to shoot him a glare. "Shut your trap, Private, or I'll do it for you." The Ultra snorted but said nothing. Turning to Pip-Pap, he congratulated the stocky biped on a job well done. "Nice run, Private. That was most surprising to witness. Not a bad time, either. You guys are making my recruits look terrible!"
"Anything Ultra can do, I can do!" Pip-Pap exclaimed proudly. "I follow no matter what!"
"Indeed. Alright, you're next hotshot." The lanky alien grinned as he sauntered up to the starting line. "On your mark...get set...GO!" Bok bolted for the structure, rapidly eating ground with his graceful lope. Clearing the rock wall in one clean bound, he tensed again and leaped all the way to the other side of the rope swing, skipping several obstacles. But he didn't stop there. Channeling his momentum, he vaulted off the structure and landed all the way on the other side of the river. He then strutted cheekily back to the starting line.
Shining Armor looked pale, but indignant. "Private, as impressive as that was, you still have to run the course like everypony else. Didn't you read the rules? Go back and do it again." The Ultra noticed for the first time a sign that read 'no flying' and 'no magic.' He chuckled in amusement as he tried to decide which of those rules had been broken. Bok, on the other hand, chittered indignantly with a few choice words but nonetheless complied. It was fortunate for Bok that the Captain didn't know what was being said to him.
"Alright, let's do this properly now. On your mark...get set...GO!" Bok took off yet again and soon vaulted the rock wall just as before. This time, however, he followed the rules. But only just. Swinging off the first bar, he flipped over the mud pit and swung onto the platform off the last bar. He then vaulted both the net and the rope swing with two easy bounds before dropping lazily to the ground. He deftly wriggled under the planks, swaggered through the barrels, and then leaped over the river like it was a walk in the park.
While this was going on, Shining Armor turned to his recently revived Lieutenant and asked, "Lieutenant, what have we gotten ourselves into?"
"Sir, I have no idea..." Iron Helm despondently responded.
“Alright, Privates! Listen up! You have all proven yourselves in the fields of marksmanship and athleticism. But that which separates a good soldier from a great soldier is this: discipline! That’s right Privates, discipline. So for this exercise, we’re going to do exactly that: disciplinary exercise! This will test your physical endurance, flexibility, mental toughness, and discipline, all important characteristics of a good soldier. Any questions? No? Good, let us begin! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY, PRIVATES!” Shining Armor roared. He was met with a bunch of blank stares.
“Did I whisper, Privates? I SAID drop and give me twenty!” Shining repeated.
The Ultra spoke up to voice their joint confusion. “Er…pardon me sir, but you want twenty of what exactly?”
Shining Armor groaned and facehoofed. “Oh, come on! Drop and give me twenty means do twenty push-ups! You DO know what push-ups are, right?” More blank stares. “Or…you don’t know. That’s good. Real good.” He sighed once again. “Lieutenant Iron Helm!”
Fearing the worst, Iron Helm hesitantly spoke up. “Yes, sir?”
“Please demonstrate to the Privates how to perform our standard repertoire of exercises. Push-ups, crunches, jumping jacks, stretches, the works. Am I understood?”
“Yes, sir,” Iron Helm groaned miserably as he took up the push-up position.
It was rookie training camp all over again.
Two hours later, the three extraterrestrials and Lieutenant Iron Helm were exhausted. The Lieutenant had spent about half an hour demonstrating all the exercises before collapsing in a heap, unable to stand. Then Shining Armor drilled the aliens with the exercises for a further hour and a half, and although a highly regimented diet with the Covenant left the three in top physical condition, their chests were still on fire and their limbs still ached.
“Most impressive, Privates. Most impressive indeed. Hardly any rookie manages to complete my daily exercise regimen on their first day. You three are clearly in very good physical condition, even if some of your forms were sloppy. Nothing a few weeks won’t fix, though. High scores again,” Shining Armor commented smoothly, his surprise at the aliens’ aptitude already expended. Now he was practically expecting them to perform admirably at everything.
“Why don’t you all take ten. You’ve earned it. Lieutenant Iron Helm, direct the Privates to the drill yard afterwards.”
“Yes, sir,” Iron Helm moaned from his spot on the ground, which he hadn’t moved from at all during the drills.
After taking a few moments to recuperate, the Ultra had to hoist the Lieutenant to his shaky hooves while Iron Helm muttered on about not missing his rookie days in the slightest. Setting off once again, the group reached the main Royal Guard Training Compound, which was alive with activity. White and gray ponies bedecked in golden armor were everywhere, lifting weights, striking dummies, flying laps, practicing spells, or otherwise honing their techniques. The Ultra and his team had to admit that the ponies’ determination was impressive.
Captain Shining Armor was waiting for them outside a large dirt clearing surrounded by a wooden palisade and racks of wooden training weapons including swords, spears, staffs, halberds, battleaxes, maces, and a few other strange-looking things. “Ah, you’ve arrived. Excellent. As you can probably guess, Privates, this is our training yard. This complex specifically is for sparring. You’ve definitely proved your worth at ranged combat, but now it is time to see if you can take it to the enemy hoof to hoof! But first, we’ll need to get you some proper training weapons. Accidents in the compound are taken very seriously.”
At this, the Ultra scoffed. “Bah. I would rather use my own two hands than those inelegant wooden sticks.”
Shining Armor smirked. “Who said you had to? Follow me, Private.” As the Captain trotted over to a shack on the corner of the compound he asked, “your typical melee weapon is that sword you have, right?”
“That is correct.”
“Perfect. Charm’s gonna love this.” The Ultra had no idea what to think of that comment, so simply remained silent as he followed Shining Armor to the open side of what was actually more of a lean-to that appeared to be filled with firewood. “Charm! Got something for ya!” Shining called out.
At his call, a grizzled, older-looking light gray unicorn with a darker mane seated in a chair in the shade woke up with a start and a snort, hastily opening his forest-green eyes. “Eh? What?”
“Got something for you,” Shining Armor repeated. Then he grinned. “And I think you’re going to love this.”
“Ya do, huh?” Forest Charm gruffly inquired. “Something, my back right hoof! I’ve made ya everything from clubs ta halberds ta swords of all sizes and I’m telling ya…oh.” Forest Charm’s good-natured rant came to a succinct close when the towering figure of the Ultra stepped into his view. Forest Charm smiled and chuckled slightly after his brief moment of surprise. “So yer one o’ them aliens that made the headlines a few days ago, eh? Forest Charm. Professional wood craftspony and Mage First-class of the Equestrian Royal Guard. Pleased ta make yer acquaintance.” He stuck out his hoof, which the Ultra firmly shook.
“Charmed.” Forest Charm stared at the Ultra for a moment or two in surprise before bursting out into laughter. Iron Helm sniggered. Shining Armor sighed and dragged a hoof across his face. “Hoo hoo…har har…ahhhh. Even the aliens know that joke! Gets me every time…” Forest Charm trailed off with a sigh as he wiped a tear from his eye.
“Ahem. Yes. Forest Charm, the tall one is the Ultra. The short one is Pip-Pap and the lanky one is Bok. They require your assistance in obtaining appropriate training weapons to suit their, ah, exquisite gear and techniques.”
At this, Forest Charm’s green eyes lit up in excitement. “Oh? About time ya brought me a challenge,” he commented with a smirk.
“Go ahead, Ultra. Fire it up. Let Charm get a good look at it.” Having some inkling of where this might be headed, the Ultra drew his energy sword and ignited it. Forest Charm stared in awe at the bluish weapon, his head twisting this way and that as he examined every angle of it.
“Fascinating…beautiful…deadly. I’ve never seen anything like it…” he breathed reverently. After a few good minutes of examination, the unicorn finally reclined in his chair and began to mutter under his breath. “Teak…no, won’t do it justice…oak…no of course not…mahogany…hmm…yes, mahogany.”
At that, a dark brown plank of wood surrounded by a green aura lifted into the air and rotated slowly, aligning itself with the orientation of the sword. Forest Charm then focused intently on the board, and slowly strips of wood began to peel off. The Ultra was spellbound by this performance. The unicorn was essentially chipping and peeling the piece of wood away with magic!
Slowly but surely, the shape of an energy sword began to form. The ground beneath the wood was soon covered in shavings and sawdust. Once the teardrop shape was complete, lines outlining the blades and handles were etched out, and soon a large chunk of wood fell away and clattered noisily to the ground. After a bit more smoothing and refining, the Ultra was staring at a wooden replica of his own energy sword. And it was VERY good.
“Ahhh,” Forest Charm leaned back in his chair, a very satisfied expression worn on his face. “That was great. I haven’t had such a challenge in years. Thanks fer the opportunity, Ultra.”
“You are welcome.”
“Here ya go. Not sharp, not pointy, but a good whack can still give ya a bad day! Har har har!” The grizzled unicorn laughed heartily at that, slapping his knee a few times.
Shining Armor just shook his head good-naturedly. “Alright, what about the rest of you? How do you fight in hoof-to-hoof combat?”
“Umm…I don’t really,” Pip-Pap squeaked nervously. “If it comes to that I just…jump on them and wait for Ultra to help.”
“Hmm…” Shining Armor mused. “Doesn’t sound particularly effective. Guess you’ll have to get creative with your one-on-one. How about you, Bok?” Bok put up his fists in a boxer’s stance and hopped from one foot to the other. Shining Armor laughed at that. “You too? Well I suppose you don’t ever have to, seeing as most enemies probably get taken out before they get too close.” Bok nodded enthusiastically.
“Alright then! We’re ready to start some fights! Corporal Cloud Runner! Front and center!”
A white pegasus guardspony broke away from the earth pony he’d been sparring with and, landing squarely before the Captain, snapped a salute. “Sir!”
“You will be our first combatant. Your opponent is the Ultra. Now get in there and show them how we ponies fight!”
Cloud Runner gulped nervously and gripped his wooden spear tightly as he sized up the feared and renowned Ultra. “Uh…y-yes, sir.” To his credit, he only had a slight stutter to his speech. Cloud Runner waited until the Ultra had made his way into the compound before heading to the gate himself. Just before entering, however, he turned to Shining Armor. “Rules, sir?”
Shining Armor smirked. “Other than don’t kill each other? None.”
Cloud Runner seemed to relax slightly at that. “Affirmative, sir.” He then took up his position about thirty hoof-lengths away from the Ultra, his wings fluttering in anticipation. The Ultra, for his part, was swishing his new wooden sword about, marveling at how the balance of the weapon was so similar to that of the real thing.
Forest Charm truly was a master of his craft.
“Alright, ready? Three…two…one…FIGHT!”
As soon as Shining Armor belted out the last word, Cloud Runner took off like a rocket, hurtling towards the Ultra with his spear leveled at his chest. The Ultra dived to his side, just narrowly avoiding the streaking pegasus. As the Ultra regained his footing, Cloud Runner came around for another pass, this time in a much higher arc. As the pegasus started his dive-bomb, the Ultra leapt two whole pony heights into the air and slashed viciously towards Cloud Runner’s torso.
The pegasus, however, was anticipating this and suddenly wheeled to the side and sped away, but not before cracking the Ultra on the back of the head with his spear. The Ultra landed roughly and staggered about a bit, trying to clear the stars from his vision. He was dimly aware of Shining Armor and Iron Helm cheering on the sidelines. “Nice hit, Cloudy! Give him what for!”
The Ultra snorted. One measly hit was not going to be nearly enough to take him down. Captain Shining Armor was going to be disappointed. A faint whooshing noise was audible from behind him. The Ultra turned about and found himself face-to-face with a rapidly approaching Cloud Runner. He had to hand it to the pegasus: he was both fast and agile, with his flight giving him a large advantage.
But not large enough.
The Ultra twisted to the side and his sword shot out like a bullet, the tip just nicking one of Cloud Runner’s hooves. At the same time, the Ultra grabbed one of the pegasus’ wingtips and pulled. He lost his grip, but the combined contacts proved enough to send the zooming pegasus into an out-of-control spiral. With a panicked yell and a loud WHAM!, Cloud Runner slammed into the ground, a massive cloud of dust concealing his form.
The Ultra smirked as his comrades cheered for him from the sidelines, while the two ponies muttered a soft, simultaneous, “ooooooh.” The Ultra waited for the cloud of dust to clear so that he may assess the situation. It just would not settle, however. One minute passed. Two minutes.
“Cloud Runner?” the Ultra called out, worried that he may have accidentally severely injured his opponent. He took a few steps towards the dust cloud, inadvertently lowering his sword as he did so. “Cloud Runner!”
“Right here!” With a loud WHOOSH the dust suddenly parted to reveal a manically grinning pegasus zooming straight towards the Ultra, who jolted in surprise and just barely got his sword up in time to block the spear strike. The blow was powerful though, and the Ultra got the wind knocked out of him as he landed flat on his back. The pony cheerleading section was back in full force.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Cloud Runner’s wings had kicked up so much dust and dragged it in his tailwind a bunch got in his eyes. “Arrgh!” the Ultra cried as he attempted to rub the dirt out of his eyes. A whooshing sound made it clear that he was running out of time.
Quickly rolling to his feet, the Ultra prepared for another attack. He had to use the pegasus’ attacks against him once again. As another dive-bomb attack drew near, the Ultra made another leaping strike. Cloud Runner tried the same tactic he used before, but the Ultra had kept his sword in motion after the strike and was ready to block the blow. There was a loud CRACK! as the wooden weapons collided and the combatants separated.
As Cloud Runner wheeled around for another pass, the Ultra got an idea. It was time to ground this pegasus. But first, the Ultra had to make sure his opponent knew he was unpredictable. Waiting longer to leap into the air than he had before, at the last possible moment the Ultra vaulted himself as high as he could, forward flipped over the surprised pegasus, and managed to tag his rump with a sharp rap.
Yelping in pain, Cloud Runner careened away, narrowly avoiding another crash landing. But he soon whipped around and was blazing towards the Ultra once again, trying a different form of attack. The Ultra charged forward, the two bodies heading closer and closer to collision. At the last second, the Ultra sprang, his sword falling from his right to his left.
But it was a fake swipe. The Ultra quickly shifted trajectory, rendering Cloud Runner’s block useless. In desperation, Cloud Runner tried to dodge the strike, and he succeeded. There was just one problem: Cloud Runner had juked straight into the Ultra’s other hand. His eyes widened as a felt an iron grip tighten around his right back leg. “Oh, horsefeaaaaAAAAAHH!!”
WHAM!
Cloud Runner was slammed straight into the hard-packed ground. By the time he regained the abilities to breathe and see, he noticed the Ultra sitting on top of him with the tips of his sword aimed at his throat. “You are dead,” the Ultra said calmly. Cloud Runner simply gulped, shuddered, nodded, and let his head rest on the ground, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.
“Well done, Ultra, well done indeed,” Shining Armor called as the Ultra made his way back over to the sidelines. “I’d say I’m impressed, but at this point I’m pretty much expecting you all to flail my tests.” The Ultra inclined his head but said nothing. “You alright over there, Cloudy?”
“Fine, sir…” came the weak reply.
“Good. Off the training field in twenty please.” Shining Armor turned to his side and jerked his head. “Alright Iron Helm, you’re next.”
“W-what??” Iron Helm sputtered, all pretense of formality gone.
Shining Armor raised an eyebrow. “You heard me. Get in there, Lieutenant.” Iron Helm gulped and nervously began to trot towards the compound. “You too, Pip-Pap. It’s your turn.”
At that, Iron Helm’s frightened expression changed dramatically. “Oh. OHHHHH. You want me to fight him, not the Ultra! Okay, I can do this. Yeah, no problem!” And with that, Iron Helm confidently strutted into the compound and began to stretch out. Shining Armor rolled his eyes and looked dubious but said nothing.
For his part, Pip-Pap nervously entered the compound and approached Iron Helm, who was inspecting a large rack of wooden weapons. “Hmm…a halberd, perhaps? No no no, definitely the mace…ooh, or the battle axe…” He turned his attention to the stocky alien. “What kind of weapon do you use, little fella?” Pip-Pap glanced uncertainly at his clawed hands. “Ohoho! Hoof-to-hoof, eh? Well, I DID do a bit of wrestling at the academy…let’s do this then! En guard!”
Pip-Pap sat there and stared at a slightly hopping Iron Helm for a moment or two before letting loose the most blood-curdling battle screech imaginable and charging headlong at his opponent. Iron Helm’s eyes narrowed as he charged as well. His hooves thundered against the ground as his massive frame gained momentum. He intended to bowl the little alien over just like that.
Unfortunately for him, that was not a part of Pip-Pap’s plan. Not at all. Right as he was about to be pounded into the ground, Pip-Pap leapt forward, grabbed onto Iron Helm’s neck, and swung onto his back. Iron Helm hardly got a chance to utter a surprised “what the-?” before Pip-Pap let loose another screech and began pounding on the poor earth pony, ripping at his mane, and in general being a total pain.
“Ow! Oh, stop it! Ow! Not the mane! Ow! Quit hitting my face! Ow ow ow! Oh, sweet Celestia, get off! Get it off! Ow! OW!”
Shining Armor and Bok laughed uproariously and the Ultra grinned as Iron Helm staggered about the field, bucking and swaying and doing everything he could to get the smaller alien to stop beating on him. Unfortunately, Iron Helm’s bulk worked against him in this case, as he was unable to twist his body to make sufficiently sudden movements. There was also a lot of him to hold on to. At one point he tried to roll onto his back to crush the smaller alien, but Pip-Pap would have none of that. He had simply jumped to the ground and started pounding on the pony’s sensitive stomach and underside, resulting in more pained groans.
Shining Armor finally completely lost it when Pip-Pap started beating the Lieutenant with his own helmet, and fell to the ground, rolling about in his convulsions of laughter.
DONG! “Ouch!” DONG! “Please stop! I beg you!” DONG! “Aaaah, not in the face!”
By this time, there was a fairly large crowd gathered around the compound, all chuckling and giggling as Pip-Pap bludgeoned his larger opponent into submission. Shining Armor finally managed to recover and shakily got to his hooves. “Ha ha…aah…woo…I think, Ultra…that th-this is the part where…where you go and…deal with him…as per…per…Pip-Pap’s own strategy…straight from his own mouth…” he panted out, still chuckling slightly.
The Ultra smirked. “Yes, I know. Permission to punch out the Lieutenant, sir?”
“Per…permission granted…Private…put him out...of his misery...oh man, I need a breather…”
The Ultra strolled calmly through the gate. Iron Helm staggered over towards him, still being bashed, beaten, bludgeoned, and bruised. “Oh! Ultra! Please, you gotta help me! Get this thing under control! I can’t–OW!–take any more!”
“Don’t worry Lieutenant,” the Ultra replied smoothly. “I’ve got it all handled.”
PUNCH!
The entire surrounding crowd moaned in sympathy as the Ultra downed the blocky Lieutenant with one blow. He and Pip-Pap then dragged the comatose Lieutenant over to a shady spot by the entrance to the compound and let him nap.
“Well I'll be darned. That's actually a rather effective method you have there, Pip-Pap,” Shining Armor commented as the duo made their way over to him, his professionalism restored. “Unorthodox, but effective. You’ve certainly proven that you can hold your own in a sticky situation. And I think the Ultra is a rather reliable comrade, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes, sir!” Pip-Pap replied enthusiastically. Bok then sidled over to him and rapidly chattered something off. Pip-Pap guffawed and they exchanged a high five.
“Alright mister hot stuff, it’s time for your turn in the ring,” Shining Armor said, directing his words towards Bok. “And your opponent…will be no other than…” His eyes scanned around the clearing and noted with some amusement how ponies seemed to shrink away from the lanky creature, none too eager to see him as an opponent in combat.
But their fears were all for naught.
Shining Armor cracked his neck before finishing. “Me! Time to REALLY step up your game, Bok! Let’s do this hoof-to-hoof style!”
The alien paused for a moment before letting loose with a torrent of indignant chatter. The Ultra chose to tactfully translate. “Bok does have a point. You have the unfair advantage of magic.”
Shining Armor nodded thoughtfully. “Hmm…that’s true, I do. I do indeed. Is that a problem?”
More chatter. “Of course it’s a problem. Bok still remembers well the last time he had to deal with magic.”
“And he handled it quite well, too. Bok, I must say I am quite confident in your abilities to deal with anything I can think up to throw your way. I also think you should stop being such a big baby and get in the ring with me already,” Shining Armor called over his shoulder as he trotted into the compound.
Bok exploded once again. “Bok!” the Ultra chastised. “Do not say such things! Have you no honor?”
“Oi!” Shining Armor called. “Get in here so I can kick your flank, Private! That’s an order!”
Bok sighed resignedly, trudged into the ring, and took up a half-hearted fighting pose. “Oh, come on! You can do better than that! That’s pathetic!”
He could indeed do better. Quick as a flash, Bok leaped forward, long, gangly arms reaching for Shining’s neck. But Shining was quicker. Rolling under the attack, he kicked out his back leg as he finished the maneuver, sending Bok sprawling. “Come on now! Is that all you got?” Shining Armor goaded, pleased to finally be giving the freakishly skilled alien some flank-whooping.
Bok charged again, but this time he started rapidly circling Shining Armor, looking for an opening as he twisted about, trying to keep up with Bok’s rapid pace. But he then decided he didn’t have to. He quickly summoned a magical force field around him and then exploded it, sending shockwaves in every direction. Bok was caught by the blast and fell flat on his face once again.
“Keep that up and your mother won’t even recognize you!” Shining Armor hollered, snickering with glee. Bok growled under his breath. He would show this cheeky pony. Oh, yes he would. From his position lying on the ground, Bok sprang into the air and aimed a flying kick at Shining Armor. Predictably, the unicorn used his magic to put up another force field, which Bok was no stranger to at this point. Landing deftly on the sphere, he somersaulted off of it and landed on the reverse side, lashing out at the force field with his fists. Shining Armor grunted from the exertion but the shield looked no worse for wear.
But Bok had one more trick up his sleeves. Or rather, up his gauntlets. With a low-pitched whine, the energy shields on his wrists fired up, casting his wrists in a pale blue glow. Bok then slammed Shining’s force field with a shield. The effect was immediately noticeable. There was an amplified screeching sound that made everypony in the training yard cringe, and a large ripple shook the pink bubble. Shining Armor gasped in pain and surprise.
Bok grinned fiercely as he struck the shield again. And again. And again.
KRRAAAKOOOOOM!! KRRRAAAKOOOOOOM!!
Cracks began to appear in the shield. Shining Armor was by now exhausted, disoriented, nauseous, on sensory overload, and above all else, confused. What the heck was interfering with his magic? It was unlike anything he’d ever seen before!
Finally, with one earth-shattering BOOOM! the shield exploded, kicking up a massive amount of dust and sending both bodies flying. Shining Armor landed on his back with a loud oof!, wheezing from the wind getting knocked out of him and coughing from the absurd amount of dust polluting the air. Staggering to his feet, Shining Armor peered through the haze, all the while coughing up a storm.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a long, wiry fist slammed into the side of his face, disorienting him. He felt a gangly creature flip over him and then a foot connected with the underside of his jaw, sending him reeling. One blow to the back of the head later and Shining Armor was struggling just to stay conscious and breathe through the infernal dust.
Alas, it was not to be. Shining Armor staggered through the haze, desperately trying to avoid further hits. But he couldn’t see. He had no idea where his attacker was, what he was planning, or how to defend himself. For the first time in a long time, Shining Armor began to feel the unfamiliar feeling of fear worm its way into his heart.
Suddenly, two arms extended out of nowhere and wrapped around his neck in a vice grip, choking the very life out of him. “Gah! Ack! Bok! Stop!” Shining Armor rasped, his vision starting to turn to black at the edges as he desperately struggled for air, thrashing about and attempting to kick off his assailant.
“BOK!!” a loud, commanding voice sounded from the sidelines. The grip immediately loosened and Shining Armor took a long gasp of air, sending mental prayers both to sweet Celestia and wishing the Ultra good health.
But the arms were still there, and a sudden sound ceased any sort of struggling from the Captain.
CHWING!
The twang of springs. The glint of sunlight. The cold steel pressed to his flesh. Shining Armor slowly looked down to see a pair of spring-loaded knives stored in Bok’s gauntlets resting against his neck. Two very real knives. Two very SHARP knives. “Bok…” Shining Armor said slowly, hesitant to even breath lest he cut himself open.
Bok slowly moved his head forward until his mouth was right at Shining Armor’s right ear. “Ded,” the alien croaked in a whisper, before silently withdrawing his arms, sheathing the blades, and stalking over to the edge of the compound without another word. Or chatter.
“Sir! Sir!” the voices of Cloud Runner and Private Rocky Falls called out as they both rapidly flew towards their downed Captain. “Are you alright, sir? We couldn’t see anything! What happened, sir?” Cloud Runner asked with concern as he landed before him.
Shining Armor knew what he should have said. He should have ratted Bok out. He should’ve thrown away his application to the Royal Guard. Bringing live weapons into the training compound was a severe infraction, punishable by expulsion from the Guard. He should’ve confided his fears in Princess Celestia, warning her that Bok was not to be trusted. He should’ve done all these things and more.
But he didn’t.
For perhaps the first time in his life, fear prevented the stalwart Captain from speaking up. Something about that creature, that…THING, unnerved the Captain to his very core. He couldn’t shake the feeling that, should he speak out against Bok, he would be hunted every night, stalked in the shadows, followed in the alleyways, spied upon from afar…and that one night, far from anypony to hear him scream, he would be claimed.
And nopony would even know…horrifying, no?
Thus, Captain Shining Armor elected to remain silent. He also promised to never ever EVER again piss off Bok. EVER.
FOREVERRRRRRR.
“Sir?” Private Rocky asked with concern. “Should I fetch a medic, sir?”
“No!” Shining Armor suddenly snapped. “No…no that will not be necessary. Thank you for your concern, Private, but I’m fine.”
“Sir, yes, sir!” Private Rocky said, saluting smartly as Shining got to his hooves.
“With all due respect, sir,” Corporal Cloud Runner spoke up. “What exactly happened there? One minute you were winning and then…boom.”
“Corporal,” Shining Armor said with a sigh. “I believe that is exactly what happened. I don’t quite understand it myself. But take a bit of advice from your Captain, Corporal…” he said, leaning in towards Cloud Runner and Rocky Falls.
“Yes, sir?” they chorused.
“Never, EVER piss off Bok.”
“Alright, Privates. You’ve all passed every test we have with flying colors. I have little doubt that you will all be accepted into the Equestrian Royal Guard.” Shining Armor paused in his speaking and pacing to let that sink in. The three aliens looked bemused as they examined the checkerboard patterns and small pieces on the tables before them. “This final examination is an evaluation of tactics and foresight. Only our top officers score well on this test. You should expect to become an officer as well should you succeed.
“Now then! What may look like a simple game is actually one of the most brilliant strategic exercises we ponies have available to us. It takes planning, cunning, daring, foresight, and risk-taking to be successful, all traits of a good commanding officer. The game known as Gauntlet has been played by generals and tacticians for centuries. It’s easy to learn, but can take a lifetime to truly master.
“As you can see, both sides have sixteen playing pieces; one team is white and the other black. Every piece is important and plays its part to result in your eventual victory or defeat. The two sides take turns moving, with white going first. On your turn, you move one piece, and if you move a piece into one of the enemy’s, your piece destroys theirs.
“Each side has eight tree pieces. These start on your front line. The tree pieces symbolize nature, and represent how nature always protects us and provides the gateway for our victories. We must work with nature, not against.
“As nature is a one-minded thing, the tree pieces can only move forward. However, nature is also fickle and unpredictable, thus the tree pieces capture on the diagonal, again by one square. Furthermore, we find that nature always has a habit of springing up in the most unlikely of places, and quickly too. Thus, on the first turn only the tree pieces may move two squares. And, upon reaching the back row, a tree piece can be turned into any other piece, symbolizing how nature is the root for all of us.
“The earth ponies start on the corners of the back row, forming the sturdy backbone of your army. Charging headlong into battle, earth ponies use their formidable strength and fortitude to plow through their enemies. However, they are slow to maneuver and react. Thus, the earth pony pieces can move any number of squares, but only horizontally and vertically.
“The pegasi pieces start next to the earth pony pieces, and are the most unpredictable race. Darting through the air, one never knows what tricks they might try next. Thus, their pieces move very erratically: two squares in one direction and then one square in a direction perpendicular to the first. I know it’s strange, but you’ll get used to it.
“Finally, there are the unicorn pieces, starting next to the pegasi pieces. Brilliant tacticians, crafty to the end, and powerful beyond measure, they too can move any number of squares, using their wit and spell power to overpower foes. However, unicorns are often stalwart traditionalists, so they can only remain on the color they started on. Or in other words, they move diagonally.
“The Luna piece starts on the middle-back row square that is her own color. The all-powerful defender of the night stops at nothing and fears nothing, thus allowing her to move any number of squares in any direction.
“The Celestia piece is the most important one, and can also move any direction. However, she is busy overseeing and protecting all of her little ponies, so she can only move one square at a time. Furthermore, she cannot be captured, as that would spell instant doom to her army. If she is placed in a position where she could be captured, she must move out of that position. If that is impossible, she sacrifices herself and her army is soon disbanded, making the other player the winner."
Shining Armor paused in his explanation of the game to glance over the three aliens. “Thus, you know how to play one of our most treasured games. You are the first non-ponies to know the rules, but as Equestrian citizens-to-be, it is your right to know. So! Shall we play?” The aliens nodded their assent.
“Alright. I will play each of you in turn. Bok, you first.” Shining Armor was sure he could beat Bok at this game. He played it all the time with Lieutenant Iron Helm. However, he was definitely NOT going to lord his victories over Bok’s head. He’d learned his lesson.
Shining Armor allowed Bok to be white and make the first move. Play then proceeded from there. Five minutes in, it was clear who was winning. Shining had three more pieces captured than Bok, and was starting to tighten the noose. Eventually, he shifted his earth pony into position and declared, “checkmate.” Bok harrumphed and clicked noisily but conceded the game. Shining Armor smirked but did not gloat. “Actually, for a first-timer you didn’t play that badly. Don’t take it too hard, I’m very good at this,” Shining consoled him with a smile.
Pip-Pap sat down before the board next. Whereas Bok had preferred to wantonly trade pieces away, Pip-Pap played more cautiously, allowing Shining Armor to initiate all of the trades. However, Shining eventually exploited the weaknesses in Pip-Pap’s position, and all of his carefully constructed defenses came crumbling down within the span of about five turns. It was quickly checkmate after that. “I liked the defensive play style, but you just left too many liabilities open," Shining Armor consoled the slightly saddened alien.
Finally, the Ultra sat down and studied the board and pieces. He was shocked by how similar the game was to one that he used to play on his home planet long ago. Perhaps some of the same strategies would work? It was time to find out. The Ultra elected to be the black team, much to Shining’s surprise, but he conceded. Moving his Celestia-tree out two spaces, Shining was shocked when the Ultra moved his Luna-tree out two spaces. “The Alicorn’s Gambit…” he murmured. “Interesting…”
What followed was a perfectly executed bloodbath by both teams. Neither gave up a major advantage as trade after trade after brutal trade followed. In the short manner of a few minutes, both sides were left with only Celestia, one earth pony, and a handful of trees. Thus began the positional part of the game, with both sides using Celestia to block trees’ advances and their earth ponies to attack or defend. However, the Ultra was up one tree after a favorable exchange in the midgame, and that one extra liability proved too much for Shining’s stretched defenses to deal with. Eventually, the tree promoted into a Luna, which Shining was forced to trade his earth pony for. From there, the Ultra simply had to tighten the noose.
“Checkmate,” the Ultra smoothly said as he placed his earth pony in its final resting place.
Shining Armor leaned back in his seat and frowned. “Huh. I can’t believe I actually lost. The only pony I ever lose to is Celestia. That was most impressive, Ultra. Clearly you have the mind of a brilliant leader and tactician. Although, I’m pretty sure we already knew that,” Shining finished with a chuckle.
“So what happens now?” the Ultra inquired.
“Hmm? Oh, I’ll be delivering these reports on your prowess to Princess Celestia immediately. Once you get accepted, she’ll call a minor ceremony to both grant you citizenship and induct you into the Guard. Until then, you three are dismissed. Enjoy the rest of your day, you’ve earned a break. All of you.”
The Ultra nodded contentedly. “Very well. Thank you for your time today, Captain. I look forward to working with you in the future.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Pip-Pap added. Bok chirruped once.
“Don’t mention it,” Shining Armor replied. “It was my pleasure, and not-so-pleasure, to see you three in action. You’ll be fine additions to the Guard. But enough from me! Off to your bunks, Privates! Dismissed!”
“Yes, sir!” the three chorused before standing and leaving the Gauntlet room. Shining Armor sighed and ran a hoof through his mane as he finished up the paperwork.
Celestia was DEFINITELY going to want to see these.
Princess Celestia cringed as she heard the throne door creak open once again. She looked up from her scroll with a frown and prepared to sternly remind whoever it was that the day court was now closed. However, her frown soon melted into an easy smile as she beheld Shining Armor enter the room, a set of files in hoof. “Ah, Shining Armor! How good to see you. I trust you have some results concerning our extraterrestrial friends?”
“Of course, your Highness,” Shining Armor replied, floating over the file. “It is with only the slightest bit of remorse that I inform you the three aliens are the most competent rookies the Guard has ever fielded, and made half of our officers look like blundering buffoons. Clearly a result of their already extensive military training.”
“That is to be expected, yes,” Celestia remarked with a glimmer in her eye.
“However…” Shining Armor trailed off, decidedly uncomfortable with what he was considering saying.
Celestia of course sensed his hesitance. “Yes, my Captain? Is there something the matter?”
“Well…” Again he choked up.
Celestia’s calming gaze did wonders for his courage, though. “Speak, Captain. You have nothing to fear here. None can penetrate my domain without my permission.”
“There was an…incident in the training yard,” Shining Armor finally explained.
“Oh? Did you take note of it in your report?”
Shining Armor took a deep breath. “No, ma’am. I didn’t. It’s on strict need-to-know basis.”
Celestia looked amused. “And why is that?”
“I dare say it’s because I’m…well…afraid.”
“Afraid of them?”
“Yes, your Highness.”
“What did they do?”
“Other than perform like a team of highly trained assassins?” Shining took another deep breath to steady his nerves. “Bok brought live weapons into the training complex…”
Celestia frowned. “I see…that is quite serious. I’ll have to have a chat with him, then.”
“No!” Shining Armor blurted, before covering his mouth with a hoof. But it was too late.
Celestia cocked an eyebrow. “Are you telling me ‘no,’ Captain?” she mocked, a teasing tone laced in her voice.
Shining Armor sighed and rolled his eyes. “No, it’s just that I…well…fear for potential repercussions of that.”
“Dearest Shining,” Celestia began with a chuckle. “Have you so little faith in my abilities?”
“Well…I…”
“And do you fully understand the entirety of the situation?”
“I never said tha-”
“Or perhaps you question the trust I’ve allocated those three?”
“Yes!” Shining Armor blurted again. Celestia raised an eyebrow. “I…well…I’m just not sure I’m ready to completely trust them, your Highness.”
Celestia smiled ever so slightly. “That is to be expected, I suppose. However, trust ME when I say that I have seen their conviction. I know what it is they fight for now, or more importantly what they don’t fight for, and WHO they don’t fight for. Do you know what kind of beings they used to be, Shining Armor?”
Shining Armor feared the worst. “Um…no, your majesty.”
Celestia leaned forward and spoke in a low voice. “Murderers, Captain. Their group, known as the Covenant, is, as we speak, attempting to commit genocide against a race known as the humans.”
Shining’s eyes went wide. “Well then how-”
“Uh, uh, uh,” Celestia cut in. “Now imagine this. In the span of two days you are teleported to a world beyond your wildest imagination and told that your entire life has been one huge lie. The Covenant are fighting their war because their conglomerate species are being spoon-fed lies by their maniacal leaders. The race they once considered their hated enemies are actually the chosen ones of their gods. As you can imagine, there is a fair amount of stress associated with these events.”
Shining Armor was silent for a moment as he pondered those words. “Wow…I…didn’t know. And now they…?”
“Wish to undo what they have done. Oppose their old leaders. Fight to protect, not to destroy. Learn the ways of peace and harmony. Our society will do them much good, dearest Shining. But we have to give them that chance they so desperately need.”
Another moment or two of silence passed. Finally, Shining Armor spoke. “I understand now, your Highness. Your wisdom and insight never fail to amaze me. I am sorry for doubting you.”
“That is why the Ultra and his comrades follow me,” Celestia remarked teasingly as she tapped the side of her snout with a golden hoof. “And do not apologize. I appreciate your concerns and alertness.”
“Very well, your Highness. I trust you will review those reports?”
“I shall. Thank you once again.”
“You are welcome, Princess. I shall take my leave.”
“Do so. Have a pleasant evening, my dear Captain.”
“You as well, milady.” And with that, Shining Armor exited the throne room, his mind abuzz with a million thoughts. But out of all of those, one thought clearly stood out stronger than any other.
What a day…
Shining Armor sighed contentedly as he closed the door to his suite behind him. Excited hoofsteps could be heard coming to greet him. “Shiny!” his wife, Cadance, exclaimed happily as she rounded the corner. “Welcome home, honey!” she greeted as she pulled him into a joyous hug.
“Evening, dearest,” Shining replied, gratefully returning the embrace. “How was your day?”
“Oh, it was fabulous!” Cadance happily remarked. “I’ve been busy all day helping Celestia prepare for that ‘mystery event’ tomorrow that we got called into town for. I must confess that I am so excited to find out what it is! It must be some sort of party considering the food and decorations we were preparing.”
“A party, huh?” Shining Armor mused. “I could certainly go for a party. I wonder when Celestia’s going to tell us what it is?” He and his wife and been called away from the Crystal Empire for a week to help with a ‘mysterious event’ Celestia was setting up for tomorrow. While Cadance was working actual preparations, Shining was of course in charge of security and marching formations. Maybe it was a parade.
“Tomorrow, she promised she would,” Cadance answered. “And I just can’t wait! Oh, but enough about me. How was your day?”
Shining Armor sighed. “Interesting, to say the least.”
“Oh?” Cadance remarked coyly. “Well why don’t you just come inside and discuss it with me over some daisy and vegetable casserole, hmm?”
Shining grinned like a little colt. “Oh, you didn’t.”
“I diiiid!” Cadance sang as she trotted into the kitchen, her tail whisking back and forth excitedly. Shining Armor eagerly followed her to find a piping hot plate of one of his favorite foods waiting for him. His wife was also waiting with a smile so wide it would give Pinkie Pie a run for her money. “Go on! Dig in!”
Shining Armor happily shoved a few forkfuls of hot food into his mouth and chewed, moaning appreciatively as he did so. Cadance nibbled on her food but mostly delighted in seeing her husband so happy. After a few more mouthfuls she spoke up again. “So! How was your ‘interesting’ day?”
Shining Armor swallowed. “Well…you remember those three aliens?”
“Remember? How could I forget?!”
“Yeah, well, I had to run their evaluations for the Royal Guard today,” Shining Armor said with a sigh.
Cadance’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “What? They’re joining the Royal Guard?”
“With Celestia’s blessing,” Shining Armor muttered, shoving more food into his mouth.
Cadance was silent for a moment before, “is she CRAZY?!”
“That’s what I said!” Shining Armor agreed, nodding his head vigorously.
“How exactly did that happen?” Cadance inquired, prompting Shining Armor to explain all that Celestia told him about their previous lifestyle. In between bites of delicious casserole, of course. Cadance took the explanation in stride. “Huh. So that’s how that happened,” she remarked.
“Pretty much,” Shining Armor replied.
“So how did they perform?”
“Like I told Celestia, like a team of highly-trained assassins,” Shining Armor grumbled, helping himself to another serving of delicious casserole.
Cadance giggled as he took more food. “Guess all that training made you hungry, huh?”
“Not to mention the fight.”
“There was a fight?” she inquired worriedly.
“I sparred with Bok, yeah,” Shining Armor replied.
“Oh. How did that go?”
Shining Armor sighed deeply. “Let’s just say…if he had been so inclined he could’ve ended my life right then and there.”
Cadance gasped in horror. “What?! How?”
“He brought live weapons into the complex,” he muttered with his mouth full.
Cadance’s eyes bugged out of her head. “WHAT?! But that’s illegal! Totally illegal! He should be kicked out! Shining, how did you let him get away with that?”
Shining Armor shrugged dejectedly. “He has Celestia’s blessing. He’s protected. And then there’s the fact that I’m downright terrified of him.”
Cadance smirked. “My Shining Armor? Afraid? Guess I should’ve recognized the imposter at the door sooner.”
Shining Armor rolled his eyes. “Har har. But seriously, Cady. You weren’t there. You didn’t see him in action. Everything about him is scary. The way he looks, the way he moves…it just EXUDES the fact that he’s a predator, and a damned good one at that. And to be that creature’s prey…let’s just say I now know fear, Cady…”
His wife looked sadly into his eyes. “Well at least everything worked out…” she trailed off, looking upwards as if staring through the roof into the sky. “Say…aren’t there more of them up there, in the sky?”
“I think so,” Shining Armor replied. “Why?”
“Well…” Cadance began unsurely, the worry etched clearly in her voice. “If one alien is enough to scare you, what happens when the rest of them show up?”
Shining Armor shuddered at the very thought. “Then Celestia have mercy on anypony they deem an enemy…”