//------------------------------// // Prologue - Never Trust Advertisements // Story: Wario's Moneytastic Adventures in Equestria // by Dunsparce //------------------------------// Sleep, money, and picking your nose. There wasn’t much more to life than that for Wario. Every day he would get up, eat, try to get some money, fail, fart a few times, and go back to bed. There wasn’t much else this greedy, overweight man did with his life, and he didn’t give one care in the world. One day, Wario returned home after a failed attempt to make money by being the paperboy. He accidentally threw the paper through an open window and into a fire place, and the paper proceeded to roll out and catch the house on fire, giving third degree burns to the Goomba that lived in it. He also crushed the bike he was given to deliver papers with. Wario dismissed the events as “failed money attempts” and turned on his T.V. out of boredom. He caught a glimpse of his favorite show, but it immediately transferred into a commercial break. “Arrrr. Stupid!” Wario complained as he tapped his finger on his chair’s arm rest. After four minutes passed, it seemed as though the commercials would never end. Wario was beginning to get impatient and angry until a very flashy bubble popped up on one of the commercials. “Do you like money!?” a voice shouted from the TV. Wario waited for the commercial to pass impatiently. “Hey, fat man, I’m talking to you!” It said after a pause. Wario jumped up spastically. “Who? Wadio?” He asked as he pointed to himself. “Yes, you! You like money, right?” The voice responded. Wario looked around and whispered into the TV. “….Yes.” He answered. “Then have I have a deal for YOU! By following these simple instructions, fame and fortune could be yours for FREE!” “What Wadio have to do? Tell Wadio now!” Wario shouted as he dropped off his chair and shook his T.V. “Woah there, big boy! No need to get so irrational! All you have to do is go to a website!” The T.V. voice said. Wario blinked twice with a blank expression before breaking out laughing. “Wahahahaha! You make Wadio laugh! Good joke!” He said as he got up off of the floor and turned around to go sit back down in his chair “This is no joke, sir. If you don’t go to our website, these twenty-thousand coins will have to go to someone else!” the voice said as a “cha-ching” sound followed the end of the sentence. Before he knew it, Wario was back on the floor and in front of the T.V. “What website does Wadio have to a-go to? Tell Wadio before coins go!” he pleaded. “All you have to do is go to ‘www.superfrauds.com’ and click the button that says ‘this button totally won’t send you to another world’! Well, What are you waiting for, fat man? Get on it!” Wario’s eyes practically turned into money signs as he raced for his computer. With his heart racing incredibly fast, he spelled out the website and pressed enter. Now, all he had to do was let it load. “Wahahaha! All da money will be mine! Wadio will finally be da weenah!” he said evilly as he rubbed his hands together. As soon as the page loaded, a colorful pony appeared with a button next to it. A speech bubble was next to the pony’s mouth saying “click the button”, so naturally, Wario’s mouse drifted over the button and he slowly and dramatically clicked it with his mouth gaping open. Wario soon noticed that nothing of any sort happened when he clicked the button and he grew a confused face. “Wah?” He said. He clicked again, and then again, and soon enough he was rapid clicking the button. “Stupid button! Make money!” he shouted as he pounded the side of his computer monitor. As soon as he hit it, the computer began to glow and make noise. “Wah? Waaaah!” Wario shouted as he was engulfed by a flash of light. The last thing he saw was the head of the pony that was on the webpage he was on before completely blacking out. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ "Waaaah...." As Wario began to gain consciousness, he was greeted with a massive headache. As he opened his eyes, he saw that he was enclosed inside of a cage with an angry, purple pony with wings glaring directly at him. "You have interrupted Princess Celestia in the middle of her royal duties by appearing on the castle floor. Who and what are you, alien? SPEAK!" she ordered violently. Wario was picking his nose. "... Oh! Me? I'm-a Wadio!" He said confidently. "Wadio, huh?" the pony replied. "Wah? Nononono! W-A-R-I-O! Wadio!" he corrected. "Do you have-a Wadio's money?" "I don't know what world you live in where R's are D's and money is just given out, but I want you to explain what you're doing here right NOW! Either that, or I'm going to have to-" "Twilight, that's enough!" A voice interrupted. "Sorry, Princess." Twilight said as her head hung low. A rainbow-maned pony soon stepped in front of Wario's cage. "I know you're a new princess and you want to keep everypony safe, but honestly, you musn't jump to conclusions. Let Wario out, please." the rainbow princess pony ordered. "Yes, Princess Celestia, at once." Twilight responded as she used her horn to unlock the cage's door. Wario casually stepped out and pointed to Celestia. "Do YOU have Wadio's money?" he asked. "Wario, I must apologize, but that button you clicked on was just a plan to bring you here. It was quite ingenious if I do say so myself." Celestia explained. "So... Wadio is going to get no money?" Wario asked. "I'm afraid that is so." Celestia confirmed. Wario turned his head to face straight forward and after a few seconds passed, he fell backwards onto the floor with a fart and a groan as he hit the floor. "Arrrrr..." "Don't feel so terrible, Wario. You can make plenty of money here in Equestria!" Princess Celestia assured poor Wario. Wario got up off of the ground, after a failed attempt that is, and rubbed his chin. "Why you bring Wadio here, though?" he asked. "Mmm... well, it was getting rather boring around here..." "YOU SUMMON WADIO TO STUPID PONY PALACE BECAUSE YOU BORED!? WAAAAH!" Wario fell face first into the ground, muffling aggravated sounds into the carpet and pounding the floor. He then suddenly stopped and lifted his head. "Wait. Do you have television?" "What's a television?" Celestia asked. "WAAAAH!" Wario cried as he slammed his head back into the floor. "Don't be sad, Wario! Equestria needed some variety of visitors, and I saw it in you that you would make a fantastic citizen! I've even prepared you a house in a small town called Ponyville!" Celestia said, trying to cheer Wario up. He lifted his head again. "Is it nice house? Wadio has standards." Wario asked. "We tried to make it as welcome as possible. When we sucked you in here, we made sure to bring some things in your household items such as portraits and furniture. Unfortunately, we weren't able to suck in this big, black box sitting on your floor." Celestia explained. "Arrrrgh!" Wario growled as he slowly got up. "Wadio would like to know who 'we' is." "My sister and I. She should be arriving here any second to greet you. Princess Luna is her name." As soon as Celestia finished her sentence, a door at the near end of the hallway opened and another pony, this time dark blue and sparkly, walked through the door. "Forgive me, sister, for I am late to meet our new citiz- ... oh my word." Princess Luna stopped dead in her tracks as she set her eyes upon Wario and blushed. She looked as though she had become hypnotized, with Wario's reflection sparkling off of her eyes. "Luna, might you be alright?" Celestia asked. Luna began to inch toward Wario. "Dear sister, I doth believe my eyes have never seen a greater sight! This male creature is the true embodiment of a handsome prince of the heavens! My eyes liquidate just staring upon his handsomeness!" Wario farted and picked his nose. Luna sighed in pleasure. "Umm... Luna?" Twilight asked, "are you... all there?" "Tell me, oh great and deviously handsome creature, what be thy name?" "I'ma Wadio! W-A-R-I-O! Waaaadio!" Wario introduced. "Wario... so you are... ahh..." Luna nearly slumped to the floor, gone in her own little world. "...Can Wadio go to his house now?" Wario asked Celestia. "Yes, umm... of course, Mr. Wario, right away." Celestia said as she turned towards her sister. "Luna... why don't you take a break?" "Sure, sister, whatever thou says." "Good. You need it. Oh, and Wario..." "Eh?" "I would like you to send me a letter detailing of something useful you've learned or something you liked about the town every once and a while. I need to check in on my one alien citizen." "Arrr! Fine!" And then they were off and separated. Wario was now in a new world with new opportunities, and he had already befriended one of the Princesses of Equestria (not that he cared). Of course, no television meant no entertainment. Wario supposed that there was no other way to pass the time than to get some money, and there was only one way to do that, unfortunately. That way was to apply for some jobs. Maybe this time he won't set houses on fire with newspapers, or maybe he will. Maybe, just maybe, he'll find someway to screw up everything.