Laugh Shack

by Master Lyra


Hola Mi Amor

Two dark figures sit down at a table inside a dimly lit restaurant. There is soft classical music coming from a small violin player, lightly stroking the chords with a rosin bow. The first figure looks at a menu that doesn’t please them in any way. The second quickly chooses an item off the menu, with practiced ease.

“I had no idea you liked Italian food.”

“It’s an acquired taste.”

They sit silently for a few moments, and order from the waiter as soon as they come by. As soon as the waiter leaves, one of the ponies turns their attention to the other.

“So why did you want me here?”

The other takes a long sip of their water and sets it down with an audible thump. The pony turns its head in both directions twice, and slowly leans into the other’s face.

“Can you keep a secret? I’ve trusted you before, and you’ve let me down. Can I really trust you this time?”

The other’s smile wavers at the mention of their previous failure.

“Yes, of course. The other time was in a compromising situation. I was set up for failure. You can trust me.”

“Good. Do you know how I came to Ponyville? Actually, do you even know where I was raised?”

The slightly submissive figure shook their head. “I think you mentioned a farm once, but the rest I’m unsure of.”

The other pony smiled and leaned back.

“That’s only part of the story, friend. I’d like to tell you this story, secret, thing. The whole of it. Not just a bit of it. Now, where to start...? Hm... how about we start with my... dad. Jack-in-the-Box. He was an alcoholic, smelly, greedy pony. He was a good teacher, and taught me the thing in which I hold most dear to my heart. I’ll start this story not at the beginning, but rather at some time in the middle. For both of us.”


“Hope is infectious. It gets into your head, your bones. Long nights of wanting, believing. I can’t afford not to hope for better. Because the thought of the better life I could be having is the only good I have left.”

“And stay out!”

High velocity wood grinding. Not the best sport, nor is it the best way to end off a long drunken night. It leaves splinters regularly that require me to pick out in the morning before I stumble downstairs to my store. That, or glass shards in my body from being tossed out a window. You’d think I would have learned my lesson and stop getting into fights, but that cold drink keeps me coming. It’s like an elixir, as it burns down my throat it refreshes me and turns life hazy, making everything easier and more enjoyable.

Thinking isn’t an option when you’re drunk. Everything and everypony just smooths on by, like watching a motion picture. You lay back and enjoy the ride; watching as your body and head act on pure instinct and habit. But hell is it expensive. That clod, Celestia, decided alcohol was unethical and counter-productive. Unethical my ass. Now we have to buy it for way more than it’s worth. It’s a treat I spend too much on, that much I’ll admit.

Though, it’s a nice way to end a hard day. Which seems like every day, now.

I stumbled, semi-conscious, out into the alleyway towards the pitiful store I call home. It pays terribly, as the ponies here are unappreciative fucks with no sense of humor. I have to buy candles to light up my home… which, I don’t do too often. The only thing I regularly pay for is rent. ‘Cause without the building, I’m nothing. Though most ponies would call me nothing, anyway. I suppose it is a somewhat accurate description of me. Not having anything to look forward to when you wake up makes the soul slowly fade away. At least, that’s what I think. But what do I know? I didn’t even go to college. Parents couldn’t pay, so I had to pay. They especially couldn’t pay for the trip to go all the way to Canterlot. Damn. Wish we had a train station… Anyway, I went straight into selling pranking products and pranking accessories. Can’t say I hate my job, but I sure hate that nothing sells in this deadbeat town.

And as per usual, my luck turned worse. Rain slowly pattered down on my greasy mane, matting it even more and making the slick clumps stick to my sweaty back. I looked up to the deep, grey night sky, hoping to see the moon that guides me home. That’s what I tell myself, anyway. The moon is somewhat a beacon of hope for me, a night light in this cold, dark life of mine. It doesn’t need to be there for me, but I’d be damned if that familiar face carved into the moon doesn’t give this dark room a little more meaning. Plus, what useless pile for a pony doesn’t know their way home?

To my surprise, the moon was surrounded by clouds. It shone brightly in the dark night, making the world a little more pleasant. Even if I consider myself a night pony, every soul needs a little light sometimes.

Shaking my head to get the wet mane out of my eyes, I noticed the rain was pouring harder than it was before and the clouds more bubbling—a sure sign of a following storm.

As quickly as my somewhat broken body could manage, I willed myself toward my home. The alleyway I usually travel through is always piled up with trash, so the way I smell after emerging from it usually isn’t the best. Though, that could be said for any time somepony were to see me.

My lowly house soon became visible in the distance. As I neared, the not-so-distant boom of thunder roared around me, and streaks of lightning zoomed across the night sky. It was a brilliant sight. One I wouldn’t remember.

I fumbled for my key at my door, the rain now coming down in sheets. I shivered as I finally entered my dump of a house, locking it behind me. I was completely soaked, from head to tail.

“It’s a free shower…” I said, quietly chuckling to myself as I headed to the upper part of the building where my mattress lay on the floor. I lazily walked into my bathroom where I took a piss and grabbed a moth eaten towel from a small closet. It wasn’t that I didn’t have basic plumbing, no, I had that. It was the fact that I never paid for it that was the problem. I had to choose one or the other; booze or shitting, and booze won over. The bar has a bathroom anyway, and I’ve found that liquids in the toilet slowly drain away if you wait long enough. And if an emergency called for desperate measures, then I always had toilet paper around.

That said, the toilet paper usually was used for things other than taking a dump.

I hastily jumped into my so called bed, closing my eyes in wait for the inevitable sleep. Sometimes anyway. Nights could be restless. I’d usually have nightmares about my mom dying, or my dad getting too drunk to function and beating me in a rage. That’s what it was most the time. Sometimes it’s other dreams about how angry I am at my life and how it’s treated me. They say dreams represent some part of your mind mulling over itself, and that’s no exception here. I hate my life. I hate the way it’s been cruel to me in so many ways. It’s like I always say; sometimes you gotta suck it up and move on, and that’s what I’ve done. Moved on.

Suddenly, I heard the distinct, crash of glass shattering and the subsequent rain pouring into my store. I bolted upright, ready to take on the intruder, but my aching head told me another thing. It pounded with the fury of a thousand suns, and that told me I had dozed off for some while. Not even I can become sober that quickly. I shrugged off the headache; I had to deal with the window.

I grabbed a baseball bat that I had stolen from school a long while back and a candle which I sloppily lit with a small spell, and waded through the oppressing darkness towards the broken window. Lightning flashed, briefly lighting up the store. It showed a branch had fallen through the window, and glass splayed through everywhere.

Silently cursing and at the same time thanking the sun, I began to go in search of my extra plywood. You can never have too much plywood, and the box my shipment comes in is made of the sturdy stuff. The board is exactly the right size and would fit perfectly in the place of the broken window.

I walked towards the back of the store, my heart still beating hard in my chest. I had thought someone had broken in, but things actually turned out my way. The first time in a while. Still wasn’t a good thing though. It would make my shop even less appealing than it already was.

As I entered my storeroom, I put down my lit candle for some sort of light.

That’s when I saw a small filly rummaging through my things.

My heart seemed to stop.

Very slowly and cautiously, I reached for my bat and levitated it above my head, ready to pound the filly’s head inside-out. Something told me not to swing right away. Probably my knowledge deprived conscious.

“What the hell are you–“

“AHHH!”

The filly spun around with a terrified look on her face and held out a shard of glass, as if it were to provide defense. She was around the age of 8, I saw, and was dirty beyond belief. Mud caked her hooves and stuck in her mane, heck, it was so bad I couldn’t make out what color she was. Her eyes darted around frantically, like she was spying for a way to escape. Some leaves stuck to her soaked frame, which was pitifully small in the first place. Her ribs were easily visible.

Leaves… hmm… she must have knocked the branch into the window… damnable but clever…

Stay back! I’m… I’m warning you!”

Her voice squeaked as she trembled in her place. Her eyes reflected my raging complexion. I looked ready to end her right then and there.

“I repeat; what the hell are you doing in my store?!”

My voice was filled with authority and anger, showing I wasn’t fucking around. Filly or not, no one touched what little things I had to my name. Especially when I have a migraine.

“I… I… none of your business!”

I knocked the little filly’s shard of glass away with a bit of magic and got right in her face.

“It’s my fucking store, filly. It is my business. I’m not going to repeat myself again.”

The filly began crying and curled up in a miserable ball, her hooves covering her face. She wailed, almost drowning out the boom of the storm. She blubbered, trying and failing to form words.

My eye twitched. If there was one pet peeve I have, it’s the sound of crying. Especially foalish bawling.

“Stop. Fucking. CRYING!”

The wailing stopped immediately, turning into soft sniveling.

I dropped my bat and sighed, still furious, but less so. The gal looked scared, sorry, and threatened out of her wits.

“Fine. If you aren’t going to answer me, then let’s start out easier. What’s your name?”
The ball of crying unhappiness shook as she took a look out from under her hooves, peaking at me.

“I’m not telling…” She said, the sadness evident in her voice. Her dark mane, spotted with clumps of leaves and soil, covered one of her eyes, the hooves partially covering the other. But her eyes shone with tears and a miserable bit of misguided intelligence.

I knew how that felt. Deep down, I knew. The filly hadn’t raided my house out of spite, pressure, or plain malice, no. She was in there to survive.

I could have related.

A kind of crime like this can’t be forgiven easily, though, I thought, watching her study my face. Those eyes sparked with something suppressed. Something with unbelievable amounts of importance. But it was hidden, stashed away to cope with the day to day life she had to experience.

I could feel the tremors of a broken soul. Everything broken can be fixed, or at least from what I know. Being low class makes you crafty; you can make something out of nothing. Both negatively and positively. Hopefully, I can play my cards right.

But she still broke into my damn house. That thought lingered, forcing the scowl on my face to remain. And tried to steal my things, little bastard. Theft can’t easily be forgiven, I repeated, trying to think of a way to solve this nuisance.

I’ll make the filly work for that replacement of my window.

A good enough idea. Plus, having an extra hoof couldn’t hurt. However, I couldn’t be sure of her trustworthiness, not yet.

“Why are you in here?” I said, prompting some sort of response. Hopefully I’d get a meaningful one.

“I already told you… it’s… none of your business…”

“We can sit here all day, filly. I have time.”

For honesty’s sake I was worn out beyond belief, but showing weakness wouldn’t help my cause. It didn’t matter, though; I was going to wait for this intruder to explain herself. If she didn’t, well, I still had my bat.

Surprisingly, the tactic of being flexible didn’t work like I thought it would. This filly was stubborn, lying there without a sign of budging.

“If you don’t answer me right now filly, your brains will be a terribly hard job to clean up…”

Finally, I had received some sort of reaction from her. She looked at me with a quivering lip and head cast downwards.

“I… I needed some things…”

“What could you possibly want from a prank store?”

“Well… I… I could have… sold them…”

“You were planning on stealing my shit to sell it somewhere else?”

She nodded as a feeble response.

I snorted with an amused look on my face.

“You couldn’t sell this crap anywhere, kid. If I can’t– you definitely can’t.”

A loud bang of thunder punctuated my words, as if to reassure the correctness in them. I felt powerful that moment. The feeling I had a pony’s life in my hooves was exhilarating to say the least.

I liked it.

... that’s probably pretty fucked up in hindsight.

The just-barely-not-a foal looked at me with something I didn’t recognize. Spite? Coldness? Unhappiness? Whatever it was it wasn’t happy, that’s for sure. Her heart was a stone cold rock of crumpled dreams from hiding her emotions so long she knew no better. A fire burned within her, one I could see. It was buried deep. But a tiny spec of it was visible to me, for I reason I knew not. It was humor. Funny, because that’s what I was supposedly best at, considering my cutie mark is of laughing ponies around a jack-in-the-box.

An air of hostility penetrated the air, forcing silence with it as the filly lay there, looking at the ground with a sad frown. I had to do something to break the silence. It was becoming too much like the funeral for my dad. Everyone hated him. No one wanted to speak for a drunk.

“Hey… want to hear a joke?”

She looked up at me with a questioning glance, tear marks down her face.

“... no.”

“Really?”

“I hate jokes!”

“No one hates jokes!”

“Well I do.”

“God damn, you’re uptight. What the hell crawled up your ass and died?”

The filly said nothing and returned to looking at the ground.

“Who are your parents?”

She said nothing.

“I asked you a question.”

No response.

“Answer me, you Celestia damned filly.”

I noticed new tears falling down her face and plopping softly on the floor.

My voice toned down a little.

“Did… you run away?”

A soft head-shake was the response.

“Did… they… die?”

“No…”

“So… they’re alive? Were you put up for adoption or something?”

“No… they couldn’t bother to…”

Suddenly I was hit with realization.

“They dumped you on the side of the road, told you ‘good luck’ then left?”

The filly didn’t respond, but more tears slid down her face and she began to sob.
So her parents dumped her. Huh. That sucks. So I guess she was stealing because she had no other source of income? Hm. It’s still not forgivable... but somewhat understandable. Why would she break into a pranking shop, though? Why not a grocery store?

“Why did you break into my store, a prank store?”

“…”

“…”

“Well… it was d-dark an-and I was cold…”

So she chose it because it was here…

“Filly…”

She tilted her head up a bit at me, her eyes fully trained on me.

“The storm outside is bad… and… well… you can sleep here until it subsides…”

I cringed at my tone. Being a gentle stallion is definitely not my thing. But… she is just a filly…
I’ll make her sleep in the bathroom. It’s dirty, and locks from the outside. I bugged my mom to fix it when I was little, but we were too poor to fix it. Still the same way. But it’s an ideal place to have her. Keep her from doing other unforgivable things.

The small pony looked shocked at my words.

“But… don’t you h-hate m-me?”

I looked down at her as I stretched my back. I grinned a somewhat evil grin.

“Eh. A little.”


Light from the early morning sun fluttered down on my face as I opened my eyes.

“Ugh... it’s too early…”

Suddenly I heard a loud bang come from inside the bathroom, against the door.

“What the fuck?”

I sat upright in my mattress, and rubbed my eyes with my hooves.

“It’s too early for this shit…”

Yawning, I lazily walked over to the bathroom door, something vague in memory trying to resurface.

What happened in the bathroom…?

Uh…

Oh yeah! The thief! She must be hungry or something.

“Hey, are you alive in there?”

A very faint, “Yes…” came from within the bathroom.

“Good.”

I unlocked the door and the filly came tumbling out.

“Well look-e here. Look at this Eager McBeaver. What’s got you so antsy?”

The filly (really should give her a name if she won’t give me hers) looked up at me, her eyes bright.

“I’m not used to sleeping so late…”

I looked outside and realized it was about eleven o'clock.

“What time are you used to, then?”

“Around six…”

Must be a touchy subject. She’s tearing up again.

Instantly she shook away the tears.

“So now what?” She asked, looking at the beautiful weather outside.

“Well, the storm subsided…”

I fumbled around for something to do. Honestly, I still didn’t trust her, and she still had to pay off her debt to me. I’d have to make her do something that I could keep an eye on her if I needed. It looks like my training in magic kindergarten paid off; I could bind her to this place to make her stay here. They say school is worthless, but I think it’s invaluable. Just wish I could have gone to college…

“Mister?”

I shook my head at my plaguing thoughts. The filly seemed impatient to do something; she twiddled her hooves in boredom.

“I really need to give you a nickname since you won’t tell me your real one…”

I looked her over, seeing dried mud all over her. Something about her reminded me of bubblegum.

“How about… Gum?”

“Gum? That’s a stupid name!”

“Well, unless you tell me your real one…”

Gum’s dejected face told me that she wasn’t going to object any further.

“Good. Now, before we do anything, you need a bath.”

Whoa. Did not expect that to come out of my mouth–

“Really? Great! This dirt is really nasty…”

Fuck. Can’t change it now…

Sighing, I walked out the door of my little shack of a house, towards the river, expecting Gum to follow. I looked past my shoulder to see she was frozen, rapidly looking from me to the store.

“Gum…” I said with a slightly alarmed tone.

Hesitantly, she trotted towards me.

“Good. Now let’s get you… washed up…”


After that... slightly traumatizing, and definitely cold experience, I headed back home to start my work day. Well, what can be called work. I mostly just sit around all day. I guess I should mention the only regular customer I have is this pegasus who comes by every two months and buys a shit ton of stuff. Speaking of that, she’s due to be here soon… couple days maybe… She’s about the age of Gum, I suppose. Comes by with spending money she got from her allowance her parents gave her. Probably gets more allowance than I actually get monthly. I respect her, though, having a pranking heart like me.

I unlocked the door to let myself and the filly in, locking it behind us. Don’t know why, really. Not like I have anything valuable in here.

I opened up the front shutter, where I do all my business, and flipped the sign to open. Ready to start another day of boredom.

Oh, almost forgot; binding spell.

I put a bit of focus to find the right spell inside my head, chose a body to bind and where to bind her to, and... bam! Piece of cake.

“I feel all tingly…”

I turned to face the frowning Gum.

“That’s because I bound you here to the shop, so you can’t run away. For now.”

Gum looked somewhat crestfallen, but I paid little mind to it.

“Anyway, I’ve decided what you’ll do for me.”

She perked up at the sound of being useful.

“You can stand outside and advertise for me. We need publicity, and who doesn’t like a cute filly? It’ll get ponies to empathize with us.”

Without a word, Gum walked outside. She looked back at me through the service window, a questioning look on her face.

“Okay. So what you should do is… something entertaining. I don’t know, be funny. We’re right along a road that leads to a major residential area. If you see a pony come by, try to bring them up to the shop.”

It probably won’t work, but I sure as hell don’t trust her with anything else.

“You’ll be doing this until I say differently, alright Gum?”

The filly nodded, and sat down until a pony came by.

I sat in a chair, bathed in relaxing sunlight. I should be doing something, like doing an inventory check, but this sunlight was warm.

After an unknown amount of time, I opened up my eyes to see the evening sun pouring in, bathing all in its heavenly light. Celestia’s sun nearly blinded me as I saw a figure in front of me.

“Wha-? What do you want, Gum?”

“Excuse me sir. I’d like to purchase something from your shop.”

Bloody hell, she did it! One purchase is better than nothing. Maybe I can have an extra drink! Maybe I can start living off my own money, not my inheritance money! Maybe I can finally pay off her debts–

“Sir?”

“Oh, yes, sorry ma’am.”

Money! Actual money! Even though it was ten bits, that’s enough for two beers!

A wild grin spread across my face as I looked out to see Gum sitting unhappily in the dirt road outside.

“Gum?”

She turned her head towards me.

“What did you do to get her here?”

“Well… I sang a song…”

“You sang… a song?”

Weird.

“Whatever, it got me money. It’s time to turn in. Since we got some money, I guess we’ll go out to a sandwich stand or something.”

I played off my happiness to Gum. Really, it wasn’t that often to get a customer, but it was rare, and an unexpected treat. Gum looked rather happy at the thought.


Gum and I sat opposite of each other, quietly eating a sandwich.

The tension in the air couldn’t have been cut with a chainsaw. I’m usually a pretty lax guy, but this filly was somewhat hindering my ability to joke around. It’s my special ability, for the moon’s sake! But alas, here I sit, watching Gum tear into her food like a rabid dog. She did look sort of food deprived, she did. Huh. She’s gonna be a bitch to feed.

“So, uh, Gum? How… how you doin’?”

Gum paused for a moment to look up at me, then returned to her meal.

Well… fuck you too!

I looked at my sandwich, not really feeling hungry.

With a flick of magic, I put the rest of my sandwich on her plate, and sat irritably.

“Oh, thanks Jack!”

As I watched her eat, one persistent thought came to my mind.

I need a beer.


The next few days passed without incident. Gum didn’t speak much to me, and I didn’t really talk to her either. We got a couple customers from her… “singing.” It was pretty terrible, but I guess ponies thought it was cute and bought something for her sake. It sounded like she was still burdened by something. I’m not sure what. It doesn’t matter though; I’m booting her out soon enough.

…wow, that sounds pretty bad.

But today was the day. The day the filly came in from Cloudsdale, and buys an ass load that feeds me until she comes again. It’s a blessing in disguise, really, because I’m hired to also look after her for the time she stays with me. I don’t like kids... but I have no other choice. Just like with Gum.

I rose out of bed with a mighty yawn, blinking drowsiness from my eyes. A loud banging on my door awoke me from my sleepy stupor. Standing up on a hangover is an art I’ve mastered. Balance, while present, is so lacking that it feels your brain is jumping around in your head and your eyes are sinking into your skull with the pain of a thousand pin-needles. The sun feels a thousand times lighter, and I swear it’s on purpose that Celestia tortures me so. But after a thousand times, anything terrible is bearable. Especially if the feeling before is such a high.

Live life in the moment is my motto. I keep to it, most the time anyway.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Eh, philosophy can wait.

I ran downstairs, being sure to place my hooves correctly. I opened the door with a burst of magic.

“Hello?” I said, managing my best cheerful tone.

A small filly stood in front of me with a big smile. Her rainbow mane waved in the slight wind, the colors separating into a plethora of hue. Her rose colored eyes shined with an innocent, childlike love for the fun that was sure to ensue. I smiled as well; she carried the check for all of things she was going to spend.

“Hey Rainbow Dash, nice to see you again. Come on in, the fall is nipping at our hooves.”

I ushered the sky blue pony inside, shutting the door behind us.

“So. Um. Let’s go into the store room, shall we?”

I lifted the check out her mouth with a light touch, placing it on a table nearby, without even turning my head away from my visiting filly. I smiled as Rainbow Dash squealed when she entered the storeroom, seeing a few new additions to my inventory. It was hard to admit, but seeing someone so happy over my crappy little toys... makes me happy. Makes me feel somewhat complete.

Suddenly I heard some hoof steps behind me.

Oh, I forgot about Gum.

“Hello Jack, how are you t–”

Gum stopped in the middle of her sentence and saw Rainbow rummaging through my pranking tools. Her face... was unreadable. Was it of shock? Was it of anger? Was it jealousy? I’m not sure.

“Who is this?” She said, her tone flat and slightly unnerving.

“Uh... why don’t you ask her yourself?” Using the pegasus as a distraction for Gum might lighten her spirits a bit, and also get her out of my mane for a while. I walked out of the room, and picked up my check, placing it in my safe. My stomach flopped uneasily, and I headed to the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Gum turned her head towards Rainbow Dash. Her face spread to a slight, devious smile.

Rainbow Dash didn’t notice the conversation that had just passed, instead opting to listen to air horns and whoopee cushions. However, she did notice someone trot up to her, and turned her head at Gum.

“Oh. Hi there! I’m Rainbow Dash; fastest filly flier in all of Cloudsdale! Er, soon to be. After I finish flight school. Who are you?”

Gum tilted her head.

“I’m... uh... Gum, I guess.”

“Oh... Gum? That’s... nice. Um... where are you from?”

“...none of your business.”

Rainbow Dash frowned.

“Yeah? I told you mine, it’s only fair you tell me yours.”

“I don’t wanna.” Gum remarked, leaning on a crate and studying her hooves. An uninterested look spread across her face.

“But that’s stupid!”

“You’re stupid.”

“I’m not stupid!” Rainbow Dash dropped her toys and faced Gum aggressively, nostrils flared.

“You’re acting stupid.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“A failure pegasus who can’t fly well.” Gum still had a bored, uninterested and passive look on her face, none the different from before.

Rainbow Dash gasped.

“You take that back!”

“Make me.”

The sky blue filly tackled Gum onto the ground, and started biting at her hair. Gum retaliated with a bite to the muzzle, causing Rainbow Dash to yowl with pain. Soon, the two fillies were caught in a whirlwind of bucks, bites, yanks, and caterwauls.

It was at this time I came out of the bathroom, feeling nauseous from hurling. Seriously, after all these years you’d think I’d be a bit more tolerant.

I heard a commotion downstairs, and slowly walked down into the basement. The room was suddenly silent, save for heavy panting.

“... girls?”

Suddenly I felt a blast of wind fly past me, and a blur of blue head up the stairs.

“Wha... Rainbow?”

I turned my spinning head back to the basement. Gum sat with a wild look in her eyes and a small trickle of blood flowing out of her nostril.

“What the hell happened here Gum?!”

At the mention of her nickname, Gum whirled around to face me. Her eyes were dilated and roaring with fire. Her muzzle was bent into a snarl, slightly twitching.

“Son of a bitch... Gum, you bastard!”

Finally she snapped out of it, shaking her head and facing me. She blinked a few times. Suddenly a look of sad realization plastered itself all over her, her hooves quivering in sync with her lip.

What the fuck...?

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. What was this feeling? She had just run out my only regular customer, and I felt sad? It couldn’t be right.

“Gum... go find her. Now.”

Gum nodded her head, not looking at me. I had no explanation to why she would fight Rainbow Dash. It makes no sense. Rainbow Dash was a sweet filly, maybe a bit annoying, but not so annoying you’d want to beat the shit out of her. What was her problem? It pisses me off. That’s a lot of potential money from Rainbow Dash that will probably be gone. Fuck!

Gum sped out the window as familiar ominous storm clouds began to gather once more. I quickly walked outside just in time to see her jerked back suddenly as if a leash was attached to her. I remembered the binding spell from before, and uncast it.

“Go,” I said simply. Gum didn’t look back and headed off into the forest. As she walked away, I sat down on the slightly sodden grass. I looked up into the clouds, rain having already begun dropping at a slow but steady rate. My mane began to slick down. I blinked at the rain, unable to stand water getting in my eyes. I was frustrated. I hung my head back down. I was weak. I couldn’t even handle two stupid fillies from fighting. But how could Gum be that irritable? Did... I make a mistake by taking her in? Could she become something terrible? I would be responsible. Especially if I dump her on the side of the road.

But she made me lose money. I’m running out of stuff. If I don’t have money... I might as well be dead. Throw me over cliff. Stab me with a broom. It wouldn’t even be worth living if I can’t... live. If what I do now is called living.

My hooves wobbled with my angst. There was so much I could do, but anything I would do sounded like a mistake. I lay my head on the grass below.

Nothing... nothing I can do...


Look at this pegasus. Full of herself. Look at her rummage through things in the days before I would have considered worthless. In fact, I still do. Frivolous toys. What an ill-sought after commodity.

She noticed me. She can hear well then. Imagine that. She pays attention to her surroundings well then.

... “flight school?” “fastest flier in all of Cloudsdale?”  Pathetic. She probably can’t even fly well. Celestia help you “Rainbow Dash.”

... she doesn’t like that I hold information to myself. Nosy. I have a closed mind to ponies like you. To most ponies, really.

Wow, she’s really getting angry. Pitiful. I’m definitely stronger than her.  Make a move, Rainbow.


I woke up as a loud clap of thunder roared overhead. I lifted my head up off the drenched ground below me, noticing the storm that had collected around me was in full gear. I held my head as I got up off the ground, a slight headache from sleeping on the ground. By the undeniable darkness around me, I concluded it was night. The trees blew greatly, looking as if they were going to come up from their roots.

What... what was I doing before I...?

Oh. Oh no.

I frantically swung my head back and forth trying to see if Gum or Rainbow Dash were able to be seen. They weren’t. I ran into my house, speedily running in and out of every room. They were nowhere to be seen.

“No.. no this can’t be happening! If I lose them...”

I ran back outside. My eyes brimmed with tears. I let out a scream into the unforgiving air around me.

 I was strangely attached to them, I realized. Now... they were gone.

No. I will find them. I WILL find them.

My teeth were barred against the storm as I began to gallop into the forest ahead. I wasn’t even sure I would find Rainbow there. But I knew I could find Gum... or so I hoped.

As Celestia as my witness... these stupid fillies will be found.

I could barely see my surroundings. Dark roots tripped me and low hanging branches smacked me in the face in a fury of running and panting. I kept running. I saw eyes watching me through bushes and leaves. They did not stop me. Nothing did. I kept running. My lungs and legs burned due to under usage over their long journey as a part of me.

I was not stopped.

Even as I reached a small clearing next to a cliff, I didn’t stop and I almost went over the edge of it. I stopped just in time to look over the edge.

There she was. There they were.

Rainbow Dash was lying unconscious on a small piece of rock jutting out of the dark abyss below. A small amount of blood had gathered below her form. Gum barely hung onto a branch right in front of me that dangled over the pit. She was wide eyed, and her mouth hung open, gaping or trying to scream again the roaring winds. She would fall off in no time if I did nothing. Maybe... maybe I should just let her go. No one would notice. She was abandoned. Rainbow Dash was unconscious. She wouldn’t be missed. Yeah... she cost me a lot of money that I don’t have. Yeah...

Wait. Am I seriously thinking about killing a filly?

“It’s not killing. She will die, and you will have done nothing. You are innocent, and much richer from it.”

I looked to my right and saw myself. He was darker. Had a wild look in his eyes. He was jittery, couldn’t stand in one place. His mane was slick and greasy, and uncombed.

“She does you more harm than she will ever be worth, Jack.” He smiled a pitifully empty smile as he walked up to me, and put his foreleg around my neck, leading me to a cave I didn’t notice before. Timed seemed to stop. No, it didn’t seem so, it was stopped. The trees weren’t moving, and Gum had been frozen, one hoof hanging on the branch. I looked back at my body.

“Don’t worry, kid, just follow me to this cave...”

“I... wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

I whipped around to see another me. He was calm. Collected. He also had a greasy mane, unkempt as the other. He wore a torn up leather jacket, as opposed to the naked other one. He had a really tired look in his eyes, and dark circles below them. He smiled a less malicious smile, but more knowing.

“That cave holds nothing for you. It’s dark. You’ve been in the dark too long as it is. Stay here. Save Rainbow Dash. She’s like the daughter you never had. She needs you like you needed your father. He wouldn’t come, but you can. Cherry would want this, Jack”

I blinked a couple times, looking from the Cave Myself and the Save Rainbow Myself.

“You want freedom, right? The darkness has given you all you’ve wanted. Freedom. You have no obligation to be anyone in the dark.”

“Being in darkness leads to insanity. Rainbow Dash is the highlight of your life.”

I gritted my teeth. They both pleaded for me. For my life, my decision. No. I couldn’t give that to them. They were me. I had to do what I didn’t want to do. I saw the road both of them had.

The cave is insanity. I’m free, insane. I die alone, finally being relieved of all my duties in the blanket that is unknowing.

Rainbow Dash is disappointment. One day she stops coming. She never comes back. I live until I run out of money, guilt of a filly’s death bearing too close on my mind. I come to the place I saved her.

I look to my right and I see that pony. He looks broken. Defeated. He looks at me, and gives a sad smile. He’s so dirty, so sad. He jumps. He falls, and while he falls he thinks about how he will soon be in the place she fell. He cries out, dying in anonymity and grievance.

No, that’s not who I am.

I knew he was walking up behind me as I feel his hoof pat my back. He is older, streaks of white in his mane and beard. His skin is a bit saggy, and he looks weak. But he is happy. Truly happy. Not insanely happy or sadly happy. He’s fulfilled. He’s done what he feels he needed to. He looks at me, his smile a bit wider as he lets out a snort. He shakes his head, words not needed for me. His eyes say do it.

Just do it.

So I did.

I reach out with my weak magic and grab Gum just as the branch snaps and falls. She screamed, thinking she was as well. She peeks open one eye and saw my wide eyed and surprised expression. She let out a squeak of happiness as I let her out of my grip safely back on land. She hugged me tightly, crying and babbling nonsense.

“I... I was... in the... and... I...save... Rainbow... Dash...”

“Shhh. It’s okay. You’re safe now,” I said, as I stroked her mane. My work was still not done, though. I found a path around the crevice eventually, and saved Rainbow Dash. Her wings were battered, bruised, and lacerated, but not broken. Gum told me Rainbow was trying to prove herself by flying complicated maneuvers through all the branches but ended up in a tree that was right over the ledge. She got out of them, but before she could react fell onto her back and was knocked unconscious. Gum saw all of this, and had tried climbing the tree and getting her, but a gust of wind knocked her off.

A believable story. I didn’t really doubt it. Gum cried the whole time the story was being told. It obviously traumatized her in some way.

The hospital bill ended up, ironically, being the same amount of money I got from Rainbow Dash earlier that evening. I wasn’t going to tell her parents. She stayed for a couple nights more, Gum and her hardly interacting. Then she flew home, not a word spoken as she walked out the door and flew away. That was the last time I ever saw Rainbow Dash.

I kept Gum around after that. I never did put the binding spell back on. I didn’t need it. Gum had nowhere to go, and I suspected she liked me after I saved her life.

The cycle repeated for about a year. Gum singing for customers, gaining a considerable amount of customers. My sales went up 30% because of her. It helped support her cost of living. Then after we closed shop, we ate a small dinner, and went to bed. We didn’t talk too much. But we respected each other. And that’s what mattered.

I liked it.

I was glad I saved her. It filled me with a sense of rightness. A sense of worth and purpose, previously buried deep underneath my haunted mind.

But I never could have guessed that she was going to change my life forever.