//------------------------------// // S2E3: Lesson Zero // Story: My Little Pony: Bureaucracy is Politic // by swirlstar //------------------------------// Season 2 Episode 3 – Lesson Zero The Mayor’s House, Ponyville “What’s all the commotion about?” “They’re fighting over that doll!” “That incredible, amazing doll… ” … “C-can’t… get… a clear shot!” “Give me!” “N-n-nope!” Mayor Mare tossed and turned, trying her darnedest to eject those shameful memories into the pitch-dark night. * Celestia’s Sun hung lazily over the purple mountains, illuminating its surroundings with majestic splendor. “Just another day,” Mayor Mare mumbled as she crunched another mouthful of oatmeal. She felt way more sleep-deprived than usual. And who could blame her for that? “Urgh!” The bespectacled mare shook her head grumpily, trying to get those images out from her brain. Oh, the embarrassment! Herself… Twilight Sparkle… Ponyville… they would never, ever, live this down. And to think that the day had started off so normally as well- a frosty chinwag with Lyra Heartstrings, the cabinet meeting with Mr. Ribbon and Ms. Coin, the unhappy grumbling as she was then handed the daily agenda- Wait. The tan pony’s mind suddenly skidded to a halt. I got the agenda AFTER I met with Mr. Ribbon? She pondered that for a moment before finally dismissing it. Of course she got the agenda late: there was that ultra-important meeting with Lyra Heartstrings beforehand, remember? And given what transpired later, the Mayor could well have been acting out-of-character for the entire day. The gray-maned mare’s ruminations were suddenly interrupted by a little poof and a sudden cloud of smoke, clearing away to reveal a roll of parchment. It was the day’s task: The Agenda 1. Meeting with Ms. Sparkle (Confirmation as Party Whip). [ ] 2. LONG TERM - Secure political control of the Legislative Council. [ ] “Great,” the bespectacled mare murmured sarcastically. “Just more grist for the rumor mill.” Well, best get to it. Mayor Mare pushed her chair back, preparing to start another day of politicking and work. She set the newspaper down, took the empty bowl and headed into the kitchen. The headline of the Express was pure and simple. OOPS! MAYOR AWARDS GRIFFIN-ONLY HONOR TO TWILIGHT SPARKLE. * Mane Street, Ponyville Just another typical Ponyville morning as Mayor Mare trotted down its main artery. Granny Smith was setting up the Apples’ stall. A streak of rainbow streaked overhead, drawing up the morning fog with it. Carrot Top’s voice, still untested for the day, announced today’s bargain: “Lovely tub of carrots! Twenty bits and its yours!” Snarky giggles and stifled laughter followed the politician doggedly, ruining the idyllic atmosphere somewhat. Probably inevitable, given the botched ceremony yesterday. But there was nothing for Mayor Mare to do but to just saunter on as if nothing had happened… “Hey, Mayor!” The bespectacled mare looked back to see Bon Bon cantering up to the politician. Now, the Mayor didn’t normally see much of Lyra Heartstrings’ companion, but from the concerned look on the candy pony’s face, she clearly had important things to discuss. The beige pony sidled up to the Mayor, pausing a couple times to glance back nervously. She had the jitters. “M-mayor,” she whispered in a hushed voice. “Do you notice it?” The politician raised an eyebrow. “Notice what?” Bon Bon snorted in disappointment. “Argh! It can’t just be me!” That piqued the Mayor’s attention. “What can’t just be you?” “Well,” Lyra’s companion gestured impatiently. “You know, the massive pony fight we had just yesterday?” “What? Pony fight?” the politician shook her head. “What are you talking about?” “Well, I- argh!” Bon Bon gritted her teeth in annoyance. “Look, Mayor, you’ve got to look into this! I swear, I swear it happened; but nopony seems to realize it, not even Lyra!” “Um, Ms. Bon… ” Mayor Mare began. Hmm… there WAS that issue with Crimson’s agenda… “Please, Mayor,” Lyra’s companion pleaded. “Erm… ” But still, I don’t recall any of this... “I’ll see what I can do, Ms. Bon.” * The Mayor’s Office, Ponyville “… and as you doubtless know, Ms. Sparkle, the most crucial job you have, as Whip, is to make sure our Councilors vote the right way. Now, granted, the only member in our party now is you, but still- ” “ -oh, of course, Mayor! I don’t mind, I’ll do my best, I’ll really do my best!” Seems really eager to please, the tan pony couldn’t help but think. Maybe she needed to lighten the mood. “Well, maybe you’ll even try and ‘convince’ some other Councilors with your magic, huh?” Mayor Mare winked as she ribbed the magical pony- “Ahh!” Twilight gave a yelp of pure terror as she leapt into the air, her tail straightening out as if she had been shocked. To say that this was an unexpected reaction would be an understatement. Mayor Mare instinctively leant away from the unicorn, sending both her chair and her body tumbling onto the floor. “W-what’s the matter, Ms. Sparkle?” she finally chattered, hooves massaging her injured rump. The purple mare’s normally-agile mind froze up. “B-but… the...the… ” she shook her head violently. “No no, I was just thinking of what ha- ” her voice stopped mid-word as Twilight sat, paralyzed, for a split second. She shook her head even more violently after that. “No no no, it’s nothing, it’s nothing!” Look, Mayor, you’ve got to look into this! Bon Bon’s words came rushing back in a mental torrent. The gray-maned mare’s eyes narrowed. “Something is wrong, Ms. Sparkle.” Sweating profusely, Twilight clamped her mouth shut and shook her head with a vengeance. Mayor Mare stared hard at the strange-acting pony opposite her, awaiting further response. Silence. “M-m-mayor… ” the bookish mare was trembling like a leaf. “I… I… d-don’t think I... want t-to do this j-job… ” Twilight’s new position was no longer the salient issue. “Ms. Sparkle, did something happen yesterday that I didn’t know about?” the tan pony bluffed, sensing that Twilight and Bon Bon probably witnessed the same event. The lavender unicorn dared not meet the Mayor’s gaze. She shook her head furiously. “Nothing, nothing!” she whimpered, scrambling to find a way out. “It’s- it’s… just… it’s just that… oh, it’s just that the Princess wants my friends to… write letters about friendship to her too!” she grabbed her tail and began brushing it frantically. “Yes! I was worried about losing her trust, that’s all! Yes, that’s it! Nothing else happened; nothing else happened, I swear to Celestia, nothing else happened!” The truth was obvious. But it was pointless to push the magical pony to the brink. Celestia knows what she could do when cornered, the tan pony thought, an involuntary shiver coursing down her spine. “Alright. I believe you, Ms. Sparkle. So you’ll be our new whip?” “Oh, yes, Mayor Mare; anything, Mayor Mare!” Twilight jumped off the chair and immediately ran to the door, itching to leave. “I’ll do my best, Mayor Mare!” With every passing moment, Bon Bon’s petition was becoming less and less insane to Mayor Mare. The Agenda 1. Meeting with Ms. Sparkle (Confirmation as Party Whip). [✓] 2. LONG TERM - Secure political control of the Legislative Council. [ ] * Sweet Apple Acres, Ponyville Well, with all the ponies that the Apples employ, they must know something, Mayor Mare rationalized as she walked down the dirt path to the Apple residence, hoping to investigate all this strangeness further. “Oh hey! Mayor Ma’am!” Applejack galloped over to greet the newcomer. “What brings you here?” “Hello, Ms. Applejack!” Mayor Mare replied. “May I just ask what you did yesterday?” “Me?” the country pony drew back in thought. “Well… let’s see… well I was out all day with them ponies. Picnic, I think. Not with Twi’, though. Think she was at your awards thingy, wasn’t she? Read it in the Express this morning.” The gray-maned mare’s furrows deepened. “I gave Ms. Sparkle an award, and her friends decided to go to a picnic instead?” “Erm… I guess… ” the orange mare suddenly became aware of the contradiction. “Well… that’s strange… oh!” Applejack’s ears perked up as she remembered the answer. “Of course we did! That’s why we wrote to the Princess that we learnt that we should take our friends’ worries seriously, and also to control your worries. Yeah, that must be it.” That only added to the tan mare’s puzzlement. “Strange lessons to be learning from that.” “Well, that’s the truth,” the farm pony declared. “Least it’s an answer, Mayor. Big Mac won’t even tell us where he got the doll from.” “The doll?” Applejack shrugged. “Says he ‘can’t remember’. Yeah, right.” What does this all mean? Mayor Mare was becoming more and more perplexed by the minute. None of this makes any sense! * The Mayor’s Office, Ponyville Evening was falling as Mayor Mare mentally reviewed her evidence. Mr. Ribbon’s agenda being uncharacteristically late. Bon Bon’s comment. Twilight overreacting at a joke about magical brainwashing. Applejack’s thoroughly odd testimony. Big Mac’s doll. Something must have happened in Ponyville yesterday; something that was either too inconsequential – or important – for most ponies to have no recollection of it. Judging from Twilight and Bon Bon’s reactions, it must have been the latter: but, in that case, what could possibly be important enough for those in power (presumably) to resort to such a move? Mayor Mare lowered her head as she delved deeper into the mystery. Twilight knew, so it must have involved her… but Bon Bon knew as well, so maybe she saw it? But she expected me to know as well, so maybe the whole town saw it… she also said something about a fight… a pan-Ponyville war, maybe? But how? Maybe… Twilight? She must have been really important to this event… she really freaked out when I joked to her about ‘persuading’ ponies with magic… so maybe… maybe she did- A soft knock on the door stopped Mayor Mare’s progress. “Who’s there?” she called out. “Me! Bon Bon! The petition! Have you found anything yet?” the voice of the beige mare replied. “Ms. Bon!” Mayor Mare quickly rushed to the door and leant against it, voice lowering into a whisper. “I think you’re right, Ms. Bon: something did happen yesterday, and somehow Ponyville’s been mind-wiped because of it! It must have had something to do with- ” Actually, stepping into sensitive territory here... “Well, you know what; why don’t you come in and we’ll talk about it?” “Okay!” The door opened and- * “I swear, I swear it happened; but nopony seems to realize it, not even Lyra!” … “Yes! I was worried about losing her trust, that’s all! Nothing else happened; nothing else happened, I swear to Celestia, nothing else happened!” … “Least it’s an answer. Big Mac won’t even tell us where he got the doll from.” Night slunk stealthily into Mayor Mare’s Office, unnoticed by the sleeping pony. * “Mom? Mom! Mayor!” Cheerilee’s voice was betraying an increasing urgency… “Wh…wha- ?” The tan pony’s eyes suddenly shot open as the world came back into being. There she was, curled up in the middle of her office, tired out of her mind. It had been a long and exhausting day. Cheerilee stood in front of her, her face showing nothing but concern. “Oh, Mom; you so scared me when you didn’t come back at ten! Surely you could have brought your work back home?” “Eurgh… ” the tan pony shook her head. Receiving a petition from Ms. Bon… interviewing Ms. Sparkle… visiting Ms. Applejack… it sure was a hard day. The schoolteacher pony huffed at the lack of response. “In any case, Bon Bon came with me. Apparently she wants to ask about her petition.” The bespectacled mare’s ears perked. “Petition? Oh, petition!” she got up to her hooves and dusted herself off. “Right, show her in please, Cheerie.” The door opened and the beige pony trotted in. “Good sleep, Mayor?” she asked, a tiny droplet of sarcasm in her voice. “Good enough,” the gray-maned mare smiled. “Now let’s talk about what you were asking.” Bon Bon cleared her throat. “Right. So, as I said, Lyra has grave doubts about you appointing Twilight Sparkle as whip for your party… ” “She’s the only party member I have, Ms. Bon,” Mayor Mare reminded the beige pony. “But still,” Bon Bon frowned. “Lyra thinks she might be too… good at her job. I mean, she has saved Equestria twice. It’s a bit... unfair.” “Well, tell Lyra to come and we’ll try to work something out then,” Mayor Mare offered, knowing full well that her political fortunes rested on the goodwill of the lime-green pony. “Actually, in fact, why did Lyra send you here instead of coming herself?” That question seemed new to Bon Bon. She pondered uneasily for a while, her furrows deepening with every second. “Hmm… I don’t know,” she finally admitted. “Strange.” Mayor Mare heaved a sigh and stood up, ready to return back into the comfort of her bed. I can’t be bothered to think anymore. “Thank you anyway, Ms. Bon. We’ll ‘consider’ your proposal.”