//------------------------------// // Trepidation // Story: Beyond The Hive // by TheHiveQueen //------------------------------// Is this right? A slice of morality intrudes my mind for the first time, begging me to at least it hear it out. Of course what I am doing is right. I have only taken the form of somepony who died a few cycles ago; I am not being disrespectful as that pony was taken from his life and loved ones. I am actually extending his life and making everypony who knew him happier. Besides, I couldn't have risked revealing my true identity and if I didn't do what I did, I would almost certainly be dead now. I doubt Zecora would have shown me any sympathy if it was a changeling she found, and not a pony. I may be exploiting his existence, but I must do all I can to fulfil the Queen's wishes. But because the Queen wants something, does that make it instantly right? Yes, yes it does. Zecora leads me through the winding trees along a dirt path which is littered with leaves. Having a fellow creature by my side makes this Forest a lot easier to handle; especially one who knows the place well. She often glances over her shoulder at me, cautiously checking to see if I'm still following. At first I think of her as being wary of me, suspecting I will flee or attack when her back is turned. Is she not sure I am who I say I am? Is she leading me to my capture in Ponyville? It's only after a while do I realise that it's because she cares for me. After all this searching for Twinkletime she's finally found him; she's not going to let him slip away like last time. She probably thinks of me as the colt who got lost and not the young stallion I now am. I need to stop thinking of me as Twinkletime: I am not a pony, I am a changeling of the Hive doing his duty. We come to the edge of the forest and a stretch of smooth, green land greets us. I see cottages cluttered in the distance, accompanied by small birds flying in the sky. Everything seems so... innocent. Zecora turns to look at me again, perhaps to say something. Instead, she sees my sullen face and simply nods her head, before turning around and trotting on. I follow at a slightly slower pace, intrigued by my surroundings as they are so different to what I am used to back at the Hive. The bright, vibrant colours and the general happiness in the air is quite off-putting. We arrive at the edge of town and I am surprised to see that a welcoming party has already gathered. I cower behind Zecora slightly, genuinely unnerved by all the eyes fixed on me. When I was a changeling I was anonymous amongst the crowd. Now I am the centre of attention and I do not like it one bit. Also the colours of their manes and fur are again outlandish and difficult to take in immediately. I never even knew some of these colours existed. They all look so happy to see me. See Twinkletime rather. I have to have a balance between remembering who I really am, and I who I must temporarily be. The noise from the crowd starts to rise, the ponies eager to talk to their long-lost colt. Fortunately, Zecora calms them down and says that I am “stressed and tired” by the events I have endured. I am actually not that far from her words and I silently thank the zebra for helping me out for the wrong reasons. “Are you okay?” a voice calls from somewhere amongst the mass of bodies. I avert my gaze from the ground and peer around Zecora, curious to see who had ignored the silence. Unfortunately, I cannot see which pony spoke as a sea of smiling faces is all that is before me. Some are still just happy to see Twinkletime; others a bit worried about the ordeal “I've” been through. Despite not discovering the speaker, I open my mouth slowly, and words of my own come forth. “Hi...” I mumble, before my words trail off. I look back down at the back of Zecora's hooves, milking the moment for all it's worth. I feel a twinge of guilt leading these ponies on to believe my lies. Then again, they deserve to be manipulated after their act of sacrilege against the Queen. Although not all of the citizens are to blame, the guilt of the few outweigh the innocence of the many. Are we all to blame for our Queen's advances on Equestria then? “Are you alright?” a softer voice asks, interrupting my thoughts. Again, I can not see who spoke. “I-I-I think so,” I stammer, deliberately slicing my words, still looking down at the ground. I feel pathetic more than anything. Although I feel I have to act like the young colt who was taken, I do not like the sensation of appearing inferior at all. “What happened out there? How did you survive?” a lower-pitched, male voice asks. Now this is exactly what I don't want to happen. I have not thought up an excuse for Twinkletime's “absence” as I haven't yet spoken with the Queen. I have to do it right, or I could risk revealing my true identity. However, I think I am doing a reasonable job so far. I doubt they suspect anything is wrong. The Queen did choose me after all. “I don't know. Please don't make me go back,” I mutter in a timid fashion, deflecting the question. A few ponies step back, trying not to come across as too forceful, and to give me space. Some sniff slightly as they are touched by my weak words. They are pitying me and that is exactly what I want. It will lower their guard and they will be calm and gentle towards me for now. Enough to leave me alone and give me some space to research things. Just like how the real Twinkletime would have been, had he returned: feeble and shy. Then, after some time has elapsed, I can come out of my shell and be restored as the the young stallion I am meant to be. Nopony will suspect a thing: they will think it is me being rehabilitated naturally. Zecora notices how I am uncomfortable talking about these things and acts in a motherly fashion. “Ponyfolk, please do not rush him. The things he has been through are rather grim. Give Twinkletime time to rest his head, as right now I think all he needs is a bed.” I feel the slightest bit of warmth for Zecora again. She is ignorant to who I am, perhaps barely knows Twinkletime, yet she treats him as if he is her own offspring. It is a feeling I have rarely felt towards another creature. What is this feeling anyway? Gratitude? Something more? Nevertheless, she is being kind despite there being nothing for her to gain (that I know of). “I've got a spare bed in the library he can use!” a unicorn calls out from the front of the pack. The others look slightly startled but begin to nod in agreement at the offer, noting the speaker. I size the pony up. Her general colour scheme is not as bright as the others. She has a pale, purple coat of fur with a moderate blue mane, streaked with violet and pink. She is of similar size to me, but perhaps a bit older looking. A unicorn, like me, and her cutie mark is similar to mine too: five smaller stars surrounding a big star. However it is not her appearance that appeals to me most, but the word she just spoke. Library. A great place to start. I didn't know this town had a library too and now I have a perfect excuse not to converse with other ponies. “I like books,” I mutter. I look over at the unicorn and meet her gaze. The unicorn's ears perk up and her face forms a playful grin: overjoyed that she could potentially have another pony who enjoys books. “Well then, is it settled?” The mare turns to Zecora as if she is the one auctioning me off. Zecora turns around to look at me and a single tear trickles down her cheek. I look at her blankly and feel nothing: I am concentrated on going to the library. Zecora faces the crowd once more and speaks: “It is not my decision.” She doesn't bother continuing with a rhyme. There is nothing else left to say, after all. She simply turns, and begins the journey home, brushing by me. I have no cover now; nopony to hide behind. Luckily, I don't have to wait long as an orange earth pony breaks from the crowd and places a comforting hoof on my shoulder. “It's okay, sugarcube. Twi's the best I tell ya.” She gestures towards the unicorn and I nervously trot over to her, removing any doubt from the crowd's mind about my decision. “Can I go home?” I ask. “Sure, come with me, Twinkletime,” Twi responds. I was actually trying to get more sympathy by asking to go “home” as in my home in Manehatten. It seems as if Twi didn't understand the question properly. No matter, it's irrelevant now: my work here is done. Twi leads me away from the other ponies and towards my temporary home. The crowd remains silent as we depart, not sure what to say. It all felt a bit surreal to them as these emotions are not common in everyday Ponyville life. *** We quickly arrive at a huge house, encased in a tree. The design is interesting to say the least. Twi pushes open the door and welcomes me inside her home. The first thing I see is some weird creature by the door. A small, purple, bipedal creature with green scales. As I describe it in my head, I realise what it actually is: A dragon. And a baby one at that. “Spike meet Twinkletime. Twinkletime meet Spike,” Twi says encouragingly. “Err, Twilight, who is this?” Spike says, slightly confused. I look over at Twi. Or Twilight as it now seems. She glances in my direction and we reach an understanding. “Oh, he's just a friend who needs a home,” she says merrily. “Oh, hi there, Twinkletime!” Spike exclaims, his trust firmly placed in Twilight. Does she not trust him? No, that's a stupid thought. It's probably due to his young age that she can't tell him the truth. He is innocent and fresh to the world. Just like Twinkletime was... “Spike is my number one assistant! Anything you need and he'll be there!” Twilight adds, trying to keep the conversation upbeat. Spike mutters something inaudible under his breath before speaking: “Yeah, sure, anything you need.” He groans slightly and receives a hostile look from Twilight. I however, just look on, not too keen to join in on the conversation. I survey the library properly and am pleased to see an abundance of books by the walls. They are all shapes and sizes, holding a variety of topics. Neatly organised too which should prove helpful when I settle down to try and find something useful. But for now, I must get my rest, and speak with the Queen. “You don't mind if I sleep now? I'm really tired.” I say, discarding the tone I had been using earlier. I don't need it anymore. It can all be explained later as me “being uncomfortable in crowds” later, if necessary. “Yeah, sure,” Twilight says, slightly taken aback by the shift in formality. “Follow me.” She brings me up to the next floor and towards an enclosure by the window where some beds are situated. I don't know what to think of a bed. The material it is made of is vastly different to that of a cocoon. Hopefully I will be able to fall asleep and contact the Queen through them. It will most likely be harder with these new surroundings (as well as not having the Queen guiding my mind) to rest. “This is your bed,” Twilight says, pointing at the one with bland covers and not the starry pattern her bed has. I pause for a moment, weighing up my responses. “Thank you,” I finally say, pronouncing the unfamiliar phrase carefully. “I have to go and fetch some supplies now but I promise we can talk about anything later. Don't worry if you wake up as Spike will be here to help,” Twilight says. She lingers briefly, looking at me once more, before going back down the way we came. Alone, I curl up under the covers, wrapping myself in them as if the bed actually was a cocoon. It certainly doesn't feel like one though: it just feels different. I can't properly describe the sensation, and I don't intend on waiting to do so. I close my eyes, not knowing what to expect from my first independent sleep. Well, I hope I can contact the Queen but it still counts as independent. Eager to meet her and continue my mission, I force my mind clear of thoughts. Perhaps this won't be so bad after all. *** I open my eyes. I am in a dimly lit...room? It is comprised of pure darkness and a stream of light filtering down from above. I notice, looking at my hooves, I am still Twinkletime and not a changeling. Changeling... A soothing sound echoes around me. She is here. “My Queen,” I begin, not sure where to direct my voice, “I bring news from my endeavours in the overworld.” Silence. I continue. “You may or may not know that I have taken the form of a pony who is quite well known. I think this is a viable method of extracting information from Ponykind. I can use his past to my advantage and nopony will suspect a thing as they are not familiar with “his” character. However, I suspect you are; so I have come to ask for a favour. His name is Twinkletime and I must know of his memories and past. Will you, my Queen, tell me what you know of him? It is necessary for me to continue being an imposter.” I wait, allowing my words to be taken in and analysed by the Hive Queen. This is not what I wanted changeling. What? I wait silently for her to continue, nervousness seeping in. I know perfectly well what happened. I understand that you were forced into making a decision. But why did you not dispose of the zebra and adopt a new form? The words ring in my ears as I struggle for a response. “She had befriended a manticore. An ally I did not wish to cross paths with again. Besides, she appears to be well-known, and therefore hard to dispose of efficiently. I think I made the right decision,” I call out to the darkness. The black matter vibrates slightly, emotion flaring. Are you suggesting I am wrong? You are nothing but a worthless changeling. If I could crush you right now I would. Unfortunately, I can't through sleep and it would also alert Ponykind to your presence. You think you are special because I chose you? I could have chosen any changeling! I did not tell you to turn into a former captive. You have weaved a formidable web with your lies. One that complicates things far, far, further than I ever imagined... Her words sting slightly. She had previously said I was particularly suited for the task, and that I was talented. Surely I'm not just a common changeling, right? “Forgive me for my rudeness, my Queen. But what is done is done and you should maximise your resources as it stands. It is in your best interests to assist me.” Is it now? I have nothing to lose; you have everything to lose. I told you not to get to close to these creatures. They will draw you in, bringing you close with their twisted lies before betraying you. You can never be one of them and if you turn your back on me you can't be one of us either. Her words are startling. Since when had I hinted at betraying the Hive? “My Queen, I am fully focussed on the Hive and yourself. I have given no signs of helping the ponies as I have resisted contact with most of them. So please, in order for me exploit Twinkletime's position further, can you show me his past?” The Queen falters and her loud breathing echoes around me, agitated slightly. I have no current explanation as to why. I know you are being truthful to me... for now. Just remember that the life I offer you is much better than the one they will. They will want “you” to fit in, to be one of that disgusting race. You must resist their temptations. What is with her doubting my loyalty? Have I done something to suggest that? I sure hope she can read my thoughts right now as I am genuinely perplexed by her implications. “Thank you. But my Queen, can you grant me access to his memories?” This is getting slightly annoying now. She keeps evading the topic each time I bring it up, her voice apparently not pleased with my request. Surely she can do this? I know she can, but why is she so reluctant? Why do you want these so much? To understand your false identity further? To become more like a pony? The voice becomes sceptical at the end, again doubting my intentions. “I think they are essential for this to work,” I state. Fine! You know what, changeling? Take them! You won't like what you find. But you wanted them and since you're running this show now, I will give them to you! Her outburst startles me slightly and I reel back. A small laugh accompanies her final words as the light is extinguished from above me. What was that all about? She seems to be quite touchy on the subject. Or maybe she is only being protective of me? Somehow I doubt that but for her to say I “won't like what I find” it can't be pleasant. Just what does his memories hold? The Queen's laughter grows increasingly louder as the walls of the Hive Mind begin to shake and collapse. The sound becomes distorted and my skin starts stinging and pulsating. I look down at my red fur and see the pelt bubbling over. This whole dimension is being torn apart with me included. The sound of buzzing appears in my ears and I wince as it is severely distorted and fuzzy. It doesn't take long for me to realise that it is definetly not a natural buzzing sound. I start to panic, worrying for my safety in this dimension. Surely I can't be hurt in here? Physically at least; psychologically I am not so sure. The pain reaches an unbearable magnitude and I let out a high-pitched scream. I don't know how I did such a thing but I did. Perhaps it was the traces of pony in me. I lose vision in my eyes and everything cuts to black as all my senses switch off. A familiar laugh is the last thing I hear before my mind shuts down. *** Mummy! Where are you? Left? No. Right? No. Just where is she? I inspect another clump of trees, checking for my mummy. She was right here. Right here. Next thing I knew, she was gone. I had only stopped to look at the flowers on the way back from Zecora's house. That was it. I didn't run off and I didn't go far from the path either. So why can't I find her? Another bush... nope. It's getting dark now: I must hurry and find her. “Mummy!” I yell at the top of my lungs. The word echoes around me, taunting me, before fading away between the trees. Twinkletime! Where are you? I hear the unmistakable sound of my mother's voice; however, I can't tell where it is coming from. I rush forward blindly in the direction I think the call is from. I don't like the dark and it is becoming really hard to see. Charging through the bushes, I part the thin branches with the magic from my horn. The light orange glow provides some light but that is not enough to keep my fear of the dark at bay. Twinkletime... There it is again! “I'm coming mum!” It's getting fainter though; I think I am losing her. I up the pace, slashing wildly with my magic at all that is blocking my path. I was once told I am quite a gifted young unicorn with my magic; I am proving that now with my impressive endurance. Not looking where I am going, I hit something sticking out of the ground and tumble forward. Hooves flailing, I burst through the undergrowth into...nothing. I am suspended temporarily mid-air, above a chasm. I manage to glimpse the dark abyss below before my descent begins. Yelling wildly, I shut my eyes as tight as can be as I fall towards my death. However, I feel my back scrape against the side of something. There is pain, but it slows my fall significantly and I tumble the down the side of the cliff as it flattens out. I land harshly on some rocks and it takes a while for me to realise that I am not actually dead. Even so, I am covered in cuts and bruises caused by the friction of the jagged side of the cliff. I slowly get to my hooves but my legs buckle, and I sit back down on the ground. I haven't a clue where I am. I seem to be in some sort of pit but I have no idea where that is close to. All I can think of now is my mother and how sad she will be that I am gone. There's no point in lying now. She'll never find me here and I can't even get out. I look up at the cliff edge I fell from and see, with despair, that it is barely visible from here. “Mum!” I shout again, desperate for the voice to answer; for me to hear her soothing words one more time. It will be okay, Twinkie. Mummy will never let you go. Sadly, those words are only in my head this time and are all the more painful now she isn't here to say them. My hooves are tired, my joints are swollen and my skin is stinging from the wounds. I must rest. I'll find away to live; I'll find away to see mummy again. I look around the huge pit and see a small dark cave up ahead across a small river. I really hate the dark but it isn't going to be much lighter out here. Besides, I don't think I should be out in the open at night. Zecora did say that there are very nasty creatures in this forest. Oh I wish we'd let her guide us back to the train. I walk over to to the cave and find a small rock inside, enough to rest my head on at least. I do just that and soon I am looking out into the night sky, my head slightly tilted. Life is horrible. Why does this forest have to be so mean? Twinkie... What was that? Actually, I know what that was, but why can I still hear it? “Mummy?” I ask shyly, hoping I am not imagining things. Twinkie... The voice travels around me before drifting off down a large hole at the back wall of the cave. I get up and follow it instinctively. Mummy is here after all! “It's quite dark in there,” I say out loud, looking into the hole. Still, Mummy will keep me safe once I find her. I rush through, eager to be reunited with my mummy. The cave gets gradually darker as I make my way through tunnel after tunnel after tunnel. I can tell I'm getting closer as the calls of my name are getting increasingly louder. Twinkie... Another fork in the tunnel. I hear the call and choose the left option which takes me downwards. Mother is so clever for finding such a great hiding place. Twinkie... Yes mum, I'm coming. Just wait a second for me to catch up. Twink...ie... I know you're tired mum but just wait for a little bit longer. I am almost there. Twi... Mum! How am I going to get that cuddle you promised if you don't speak up! … "Mum? Mum are you still there?" Silence. Pitch-black. No Mum. Wait, what's that? I see a faint glow in the distance, around a bend in the passageway. Mum must have already made a fire! Clever Mummy! I trot forward, aching for that hug I definitely deserve after all this. I turn the corner and see... Mum? A pony stands before me, looking in the opposite direction. Her colours in the green glow are unmistakeably that of my Mum. “Mum! I knew I'd find you again!” Mum turns around and looks at me. She definitely looks tired and her eyes are twitching slightly. “Are you okay, Mum? I'm fine, look!” Mum lets a broad smile fill her face, and hisses. “Mum?” I ask nervously, the trance beginning to wear off. Where am I again? A green fire suddenly erupts around my mother and she vanishes from sight. I cry out in fear for my mother but she does not seem fazed by the events. I hear no sound from her. I step back in shock as I see a bright, green eye through the flames, watching me. A black, twisted horn erupts from the tip of the fire and I let out a small whimper. Mummy doesn't have a horn. Now I scream. The fire dies down and reveals a horrible, disgusting creature. It lets out a small cackle, before lunging in my direction. She fails to make contact with me, for my body has already hit the floor, unconscious. That's it Twinkie. Go to sleep...