Chapter Sixteen
In the end, it needed a stroke of chance for me to actually motivate myself to see River again. When eating breakfast a few weeks later, noting how dark it looked outside now that autumn was approaching, there was a loud crash which signalled only one thing. That somepony had dropped their breakfast tray. I joined in with the humourous applause, knocking my hooves together while stretching my neck and trying to find out which pony it was and how much of a mess they’d made. Miri leapt up from her seat and hurried over to give the unfortunate pony a hand, being the conscientious Head Filly she was threatening to become. My eyes followed Miri, and ended up taking in the form of a distraught-looking River, standing in the middle of an explosion of breakfast on the floor, orange juice slowly trickling around her hooves.
Rarity nudged me and I got up, leaving my own breakfast half-finished to go and give me fillyfriend a hand. She smiled at me as I approached, a half-wretched smile. I trod carefully and offered one of my forehooves for her to hold onto so she could extricate herself from the mess. We left Miri to the cleaning up job and I helped escort River back to her room so she could clean up.
“It just slipped...” she said, shaking her head as we walked. “I can’t believe it. You always see other ponies doing it, but you never expect it to happen to you.”
“Well, at least it created some entertainment on this otherwise bleak morning,” I smiled. “They’ll let you have a late breakfast if you ask.”
I hadn’t been to River’s new room for this year, so she had to lead me through some familiar corridors from my own sixth year before we arrived outside her room, which wasn’t all that far away from our old one.
“You can come in for a bit,” River said, unlocking the door and leaving it open for me to follow. I took in the room; it was pretty much a standard room for four fillies, with magazines lying in untidy stacks and school books sitting on the beds. River trotted through to the bathroom to wash her hooves, so I sat on what appeared to be her bed, judging by the pretty sign she’d painted and tacked above the headboard with her name on it.
“So why haven’t I seen much of you this term? Busy?” River asked, acting like her usual self. I squirmed, not really sure how to reply.
“Yeah, busy,” I eventually said, feeling like a failure for not having a good reason. “Seventh year is the hardest.”
“I heard that,” River replied, her voice muffled because she was using her mouth to operate a tap.
She emerged from the bathroom, her hooves clean and tidy. “So, do you want to meet up sometime?”
“Yeah, okay.” I thought I’d better agree.
“How about twice?” River said, looking happy as she sat down next to me on her bed. “There’s Nightmare Night coming up, and then Bonfire Night soon after. You must have those days off.”
“I think so. What did you have in mind?” I was starting to feel awkward.
River thought for a moment. “Well, we’re having a party in our corridor on Nightmare Night, so you’re invited to come. And then we can just go and watch the fireworks together. I know a couple of good places we can go...” she said, rather suggestively. The comment made me feel nervous rather than excited, so I skimmed over it.
“Sounds good. I’ve got to get to lessons though, so I’ll see you at the party next week?” I said, giving a forced smile and getting up.
“Okay! I’ll look forward to seeing you,” River said happily as I headed for the door. “Don’t work too hard!”
I was relieved to get away, in truth. My feelings for River were really rather mixed, and I didn’t want to think about it. Lessons were a relief because it meant I could occupy myself with something not related to romance or university entrance.
On the day before Nightmare Night, Rarity locked herself in the bathroom to work on her costume, without telling any of us what it would look like. Miri conducted a loud conversation with her through the door, and I read magazines until Fly guilted me into actually finishing my application letter and taking it to Mrs Pearl. Fly had made her input, correcting spellings and showing me how to tidy it up, and once it was finished I was fairly happy with it. Fly was something of an expert by now, and I was sure there was no way she would let me send away anything substandard.
“Ah, Cat, excellent. Just in time,” Mrs Pearl said as I entered her office, handing over my finished letter. “Now, just to be clear, you’d like me to send this to Princess School and Britannic College?”
“Yes, if that’s okay.”
“No problem. If you don’t get a response by the new year, I’ll have another meeting to ask if you want to send it off to any other schools at the last minute,” Mrs Pearl said, smiling. “You can go. I’ll call you in for another meeting if you get a response.”
“Thank you,” I said before leaving, glad that there was one less thing for me to do. I put the applications out of my mind and replaced them with wondering about the party the next day.
When I got back to the room, Rarity had emerged from the bathroom in her costume. I immediately recognised it as a stylised version of Princess Celestia, but she really looked breathtaking. Her mane was restyled into a wavy length which fell over her eye, and she was wearing a beautiful pink and green dress that matched her white coat. Miri and Fly couldn’t take their eyes off it, and Rarity was enjoying the attention.
“Oh, hello Cat. What do you think?”
“I... wow. It looks fantastic,” I said, in awe. “You look fantastic.”
“Why thank you. I did work rather hard on this one,” Rarity said, remaining modest. “It’s not as bulky as last year’s, so I should be able to move around more freely.”
She admired her reflection in a mirror and the three of us admired her. I could feel a kind of pang in my tummy when I looked at the way the dress flattered her natural curves and how amazing her mane looked. I tried my best not to make this obvious, though.
“Okay, I’d better put it away until tomorrow,” Rarity finally said. “Don’t want it to get creased.” We all agreed and watched as she carefully hung the dress in the wardrobe, leaving plenty of space either side so that the details wouldn’t get damaged.
“You really have a talent there,” Miri said, sighing. “I wish I was as creative as you.”
“Oh do stop Miri. Next year I’ll have to make creations like this all of the time for customers,” Rarity said, a blush on her face. I ended up picking up a magazine just so that I would stop staring.
I had invited all of my friends to River’s Nightmare Night party, mainly so that I wouldn’t have to be alone with her, but Miri would be too busy with her Head Filly duties. “I have to look in on all of the parties to make sure everything is fun,” she said, shrugging. “I’ll be there at some point in the evening, and if I have free time at the end.” She was taking Rarity with her, which gave the unicorn a good excuse to show off her dress to as many ponies as possible. Anxious that I wouldn’t have to go by myself, I had to rely on Fly.
“I really need to work on my interview,” Fly said. “I wasn’t planning to go out very much, maybe just an hour at the one on the floor below.”
“Come on Fly, please? Just for a while.” I did my best begging face.
“Why do you want me to come? Once you and River get together, I’ll be by myself.”
Unfortunately, I couldn’t argue with that without opening a whole can of worms about how I didn’t really want to be with River all evening. What I really wanted to do was go around with Rarity and admire her dress, but that made me feel guilty. In the end, I just got Rarity to do some creepy face paint and borrowed some of Fly’s clothes, which didn’t fit very well, and went as a zom-pony by myself, leaving Fly with her nose stuck in a book.
“I’ll be back later,” I said as I left, not really sure if I wanted to go at all.
“Have fun,” Fly said vaguely.
“Hi Cat! I’m glad you could make it,” River said enthusiastically when I arrived. “A zom-pony? Cool costume.”
“Thanks River. I like yours too,” I said, smiling. She was dressed as a dragon, but it appeared to be more of an excuse to wear clingy clothes and a dress than a serious attempt at a costume.
“Is Miri coming with you?” somepony I didn’t recognise asked. “You’re friends with her, right?”
I shrugged. “She’ll be here at some point, but she’s going round all of the parties, so she won’t be here long.”
River and I got some punch, ignoring the slightly disappointed mutterings of the other ponies.
“So, how is your application stuff going?” River asked, sipping her drink and looking at me with her heavily made-up eyes.
“I sent off my letter yesterday. Just waiting for replies now,” I said. “Fly sent hers off ages ago and she’s still waiting, so I probably won’t hear anything for a while.”
River nodded. “And how are your lessons?”
“Fine. I only really need to worry about music, so that’s okay.”
“What about that audition thing? I heard-”
“It’s fine. I’m over it, I think,” I told her, not really wanting to talk about it.
We sat in silence for a few moments longer. River put down her punch cup and looked at me with her big eyes, which I thought did look quite attractive. I stared back, and River reached out a hoof to slowly move mine until my own punch was on the floor. I could feel an unfamiliar rush of emotion and I wasn’t sure if I was blushing, but River smiled cutely and I was suddenly much more decided. My application letter was done, it was Nightmare Night, and I could relax. I leant forward to kiss River, my hoof sliding into her lap, and she kissed me back.
“Cat?”
“Mm?”
“Under the dress... I’m wearing socks.”
***
As I lay in bed that night, I had a weird feeling. It was hard to describe. Everything had happened so fast with River, and yet I’d really wanted it to happen. It maybe wasn’t how it was supposed to happen in a fairytale, but then fairytales tended to include one mare and one stallion. Everything was so new, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be the same again. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to tell Fly about it, in case she was upset or shocked. It wasn’t all that unusual for ponies my age to be doing it, but still... there was still something exciting about it. I was never going to have another first time, and it made me feel somehow more grown-up.
When I woke up, there was still some residual excitement, which manifested itself through a smile that I couldn’t seem to get rid of all morning. I waved at River at breakfast, and she waved back.
“You seem happy,” Fly said, sounding tired. “Was it a fun party?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I suppose.” The breakfast hall wasn’t a place for that kind of revelation. “Um, I have something to tell you later. Can you meet me at lunchtime in the room?”
“Oh, okay,” Fly said, but I noticed Miri listening in. I glared at her and she looked away, but I could just see the rumours flying.
Of course, they did. This was why I sometimes really didn’t like Miri; she just came up with totally baseless gossip and told everypony so she would seem to be in-the-know. By lunchtime, the air was thick with rumours that River and I had broken up, which was totally untrue. I told a few ponies this as I made my way back to the room, but they didn’t seem convinced.
“Cat?” Fly said as I walked in.
“Ugh, remind me to shout at Miri later,” I said irritably, sitting on my bed. “She’s the cause of all this.”
“Everypony will have forgotten by tomorrow,” Fly reassured me. “What did you want to talk about? You sounded a bit worried.”
I took a deep breath. This was the biggest thing I had ever told Fly, so it took some doing. “At the party last night-”
The door flew open, revealing an ashen-faced Miri and a rather angry-looking Rarity.
“Ah, I’m glad you’re here,” Rarity said. “Miri has something to say.”
Miri sighed. “I’m sorry about spreading those rumours.”
“That’s okay,” I said, my anger forgotten. “Just don’t do it again.”
Rarity was still glowering at Miri as the two of them stretched out on their respective beds, pulling out chocolate biscuits.
“So what are you two doing in here at lunchtime? We thought you’d be in the common room,” Rarity asked, pulling a hairbrush magically through her mane.
Neither Fly nor I said anything. I wasn’t sure how best to explain.
“A secret?” Rarity asked, an eyebrow raised. “That’s okay, we won’t pry. Miri learnt that lesson today.”
Miri just shrugged. She was still sulking.
“I suppose it’s not really that much of a secret,” I said, thinking it over. I was actually dying to tell somepony about it and see whether my excitement was justified, but Miri and Rarity had frustrated my chance to tell Fly.
“Last night, at the party on River’s corridor,” I said, watching Miri suddenly perk up. “You have to promise not to tell anypony, though. I’ll know who’s responsible if this gets spread around the school.” The others nodded, and by the look on Rarity’s face I suspected she had already guessed what it was.
“We ended up in her room... and in her bed. We, you know, did it,” I said, relieved to have got it off my chest.
“Oh my,” Fly said, a slight blush rising on her face. I waited for a definitive reaction from somepony.
Miri seemed happy, and Rarity gave me a big smile, so I relaxed.
“Wow. You must be excited,” the unicorn said, dashing over to give me a hug. “You seem so grown-up.”
“Thanks Rarity,” I said while Miri joined the hug. Fly just sat on her bed and seemed a bit tearful, so I escaped the hug and sat down next to her. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah... I don’t know why I’m crying,” she said, smiling. “I guess it’s just weird to think about the four of us being grown-up. It’s only six months until we won’t see each other any more,”
That really damped my excitement, but I hugged her anyway. “It’s not that bad. Cheer up.”
Rarity gave me a look of admiration. “You sound so mature now... it’s like I’m seeing you in a whole different light. Not that you weren’t mature before, of course, but now... I don’t know.” She smiled and I felt another pang that didn’t have anything to do with River.
Whenever I saw River after that, I felt a little rush. When we passed in the corridors or saw each other over breakfast, I thought about the party and how exciting it had been, and then I would feel a little happier. Contrary to how I’d felt just a few days ago, I was suddenly really looking forward to going to see the fireworks with her.
“Do you think it’ll be cold?” Rarity asked as we got ready to walk down to the carriages. “I’m not sure how many scarves to take.”
“Probably two. It looks frosty,” Fly replied, putting her own scarf on.
Rarity also donned a woolly hat which would have looked unfashionable on any other pony, but somehow she turned it into quirky.
I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of River as we walked down to the school gates, but there didn’t seem to be any. She’d probably gone on ahead.
“Last time we get to go to the fireworks,” Fly said as we settled into the carriage, Miri’s fierce glances keeping any other ponies from trying to climb in.
Rarity smiled. “I can’t say I’ll miss being freezing cold all evening. Now Miri, are you going to behave yourself this time?”
Miri giggled as the carriage began to move. “Yes, I’m a mature Head Filly now. Anyway, I have to help make sure everyone else is behaving themselves, so I can’t just sneak off anywhere.”
River was waiting when our carriage arrived, so I trotted over and gave her a hug.
“You look nice,” she said stroking my scarf with a hoof.
I nuzzled the side of her face. “You too. Do you want to get something to eat?” She nodded and we headed for the food vans nearer the bonfire. I gave Fly a quick wave as we left and she waved back.
“I didn’t know they’d have a Ferris Wheel this time,” River said, pointing to the large ride that was silhouetted against the sky. “Shall we go on it?”
“It’ll probably be full of first years just going round and round,” I commented, “But yeah, why not? It’ll be fun!”
“Let’s get chips,” River said, kissing me on the cheek and dragging me towards a van.
We decided to eat the chips while we walked and then go on the Ferris Wheel when the rush from the younger fillies had died down.
“Come on, let’s go somewhere a bit darker,” River whispered to me, and we ducked behind some vans. “There’s a nice dark spot over by the fence where ponies always go to get off with each other, want to go?”
I couldn’t say yes fast enough, and I followed her pretty tail as we trotted through the darkness towards the fence at the edge of the grassy field. River was right; it was dark, and there was no chance of any teachers coming this far out. It was still fairly early so we seemed to be the only ones there. It was cold but the grass was dry, so once we were sat down we got straight to the business of kissing. River had put on some kind of perfume that I didn’t recognise, which gave the whole thing a nice scent.
“Ew, are those-” a male voice started, making us break apart and look around for who it was. I hadn’t seen anypony, but it appeared that another couple had just arrived minutes after us.
“What? Oh, yeah, it’s two fillies kissing. Let’s find somewhere else,” a female voice said, pulling the other pony away. “Don’t want to be around that.”
I looked at River, and her face looked as sad as I felt. “Come on, ignore them. They’re just idiots,” I said gently, hugging her.
“I know,” she said, kissing my nose. “Not very nice to be reminded, though.”
Thankfully no other ponies disturbed us, and we were left to snog in peace until I got really bad cramp in my legs and we decided to go for the Ferris Wheel.
“Maybe the fireworks will be on while we’re riding it,” River suggested. “That would be nice.”
I nodded, wrapping my tail around hers. “Yes, it would.” I was just happy to be able to spend time with her, and I wondered why I had been so ambivalent towards our relationship over the past couple of months.
“You seem thoughtful,” River said, looking over at me as we approached the brightly lit amusement area.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” I replied, smiling at her.
“One ride, please,” I asked the stallion running the wheel. He took my bits and handed over a ticket without question, so we stepped forwards and climbed into the seat. River cuddled up close to me once the safety barriers came down.
“You know, they’re building a giant one of these,” I said as it jerked into motion. “Just near the river in Maneminster.”
River just nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. We held hooves as the wheel went round, lifting us up into the air. I squeezed her hoof gently and she squeezed back, and we looked at each other before giggling a little bit. I tried to see any of my friends among the ponies on the ground, but I couldn’t see enough detail.
“Can I tell you something, Cat?” River said quietly as we neared the top.
“What is it?” I put my hoof around her to try and keep the cold out, since it was quite chilly up high.
River paused. “When you didn’t talk to me for so long after term started, I felt like we were going to break up. But then you were so nice and took time out from being so busy to spend with me, which makes me think that you really do care.”
I didn’t reply, and she just stared out across the limited area of Maneminster that we could see from our high vantage point. I didn’t really know what to say, so I kissed her on the cheek and stayed quiet. I think she took this to mean that I agreed.
They didn’t start the fireworks until we were back on the ground, so we watched them together from a dark spot near the bonfire. River seemed happy, and I was glad she was having a good time. I was still conflicted about my feelings for her but I was finally reaching a place where I could accept that. Her tail was wrapped around mine and she seemed very affectionate, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable around her. I didn’t have to look for true love yet. Maybe I could just be okay with whatever this was for a while. It might even turn into love. I leant over and kissed her on the cheek before going back to admiring the fireworks, which lit up the sky and made me jump every time a big one went off.
River rode back to school with her friends, so I walked down the line of carriages looking for Rarity, Miri and Fly. I couldn’t find them at first and started to panic, afraid I was going to be left behind, but I eventually spotted Fly and managed to clamber in just as the carriages pulled away.
“Where have you been all evening?” the pegasus asked me, shifting across her seat to make room for me.
“I was with River.”
“All evening?” Rarity asked. “We didn’t see you anywhere.”
“Oh, we went on the Ferris Wheel and stuff. I did keep an eye out for you three and I couldn’t see you,” I said, shrugging.
Miri giggled. “You weren’t looking out that much, or you would have seen me when you came back from your little kissing session with River.”
I went bright red and stared at the floor while my friends laughed.
“Don’t worry about it,” Miri said, poking me with a hoof. “I’ve been there enough times.”
“And we didn’t lose her this time,” Rarity said, pointing to Miri. “I didn’t see her with a colt all evening.”
“Well done Miri,” I smiled. “Your bad habits must have rubbed off onto me.”
Miri sighed in response. “Watching the fireworks is much less fun when you have to be responsible.”
The next week passed slowly, and I used the time to get ahead on my schoolwork. There was nothing interesting planned for the remainder of the term until the Hearth’s Warming Eve festivities began, so I stuck to practicing for my potential auditions and doing homework. The special lessons, which were with Mr Bluejay, were actually very useful.
“Okay Cat, now I’m going to observe you playing that piece, just as I would in a real audition,” he said in a friendly tone, picking up his clipboard and sending a flicker of nerves through me. “Remember what I’ve taught you. If you get flustered or make a mistake, just stop, take a few deep breaths, and start again.”
I nodded and sat at the keyboard, making sure I was on the right page of the music. I played it without any mistakes, and whenever I saw his pencil start to move, I just took that deep breath he had mentioned and I could carry on.
“Very good Cat. I think that’s the first time you’ve been able to play it through,” he said, smiling encouragingly. I smiled back, but I knew that it was only because I knew this wasn’t a real audition. Once the real ones came around, I was sure I’d go back to being a complete wreck.
“Let’s try it once again. No change to last time, just another run-through,” Mr Bluejay said, picking up his pencil again. “Begin whenever you’re ready.”
After the session I headed back to the room, since lessons were done for the day. I passed Fly on the way, which was unusual because she was normally in the room reading.
“Where are you off to?” I asked as I approached her. “The library is the other way.”
Fly smiled, but she looked nervous. “I have to go and see Mrs Pearl. I have a meeting now.”
“Oh, I thought your next meeting wasn’t for a few weeks?” I asked, knitting my brow.
“Yes, so this means I must have had a response from a university,” she said uncertainly.
“Oh wow. I’ll come with you,” I said, doing my best to reassure her.
“Fly Leaf? Ah, good. This came for you today,” Mrs Pearl said when Fly went into the office. I stayed outside, but I listened at the door so I could hear every word. I was sure Fly wouldn’t mind.
“Thank you. Should I open it now?” Fly asked, sounding a little scared. I felt sorry for her.
“No time like the present.” I heard the sound of paper ripping, and then silence as Fly read the letter. There was a slight rustle as she handed it back to Mrs Pearl.
“Ah, good. Well, you’re well on track with your preparation. Is there any other assistance you’d like me to organise?”
“I could do with some way of getting to Oxmare,” Fly said quietly. “Do you think I should go on the train?”
“That would be fine. We’ll sort something out for you.”
Fly left the room, nearly hitting me with her wing as she came out. I pulled her into a hug and squealed as soon as we were out of earshot of Mrs Pearl’s office.
“Congratulations! Wow, you must be so happy!” I said. “An interview at Oxmare!”
Fly smiled. “Yeah, it’s great. I’m a little nervous about it though.”
“Forget that for today. We have to celebrate a little bit,” I told her, nearly dragging her back to our room. “And you need to break the good news to Rarity and Miri. They’ll be so happy for you!” As we walked (I was practically skipping), Fly let me read her letter, which was very complimentary about her application letter. I felt sure she was going to pass the interview, but I was the last person to be handing out advice on handling nerves.
“Congratulations Fly! This is great!” Rarity said, hugging the pegasus when we got back to the room. “I’m so happy for you.”
Miri was the next to hug her. “Our Fly, off to Oxmare to be a scholar!”
“It’s only an interview,” Fly said, rearranging her feathers, but I could see that she was secretly very pleased.
“Come on Miri, crack open those caramel biscuits. I saw you bringing them in,” I said, pointing to the section of her mattress that she’d stashed them in.
While Miri dug out the biscuits, I handed the interview letter to Rarity so she could read it. “Fly, how are you going to tell you parents?”
“Oh, I think they send a copy of the letter to my parents,” Fly said. It occurred to me that my parents had no idea which schools I was applying to, but I put that out of my mind.
When Miri surfaced, she had not only caramel biscuits but also an unopened bottle of lemonade and some paper cups.
“Where on Earth did you get those?” Rarity asked, shocked. “There’s no way you’d pass a surprise inspection that that under your bed.”
“Head Filly’s privilege. I got this as leftovers from Nightmare Night parties, Dorm Matron said I could have it so long as I drank it quickly,” Miri explained, handing us each a cup.
“And precisely when were you going to tell us?” Rarity asked, outraged. “You were planning to drink it all yourself?”
Miri giggled, embarrassed. “I thought you ponies would want to be watching your weight.”
“You’re the one who is always worried about your weight!”
Fly’s interview was set for the beginning to December, giving her three weeks to prepare. She began to spend all of her time reading or going to extra lessons to help her prepare for the interview. With nobody to talk to most of the time, I ended up asking Miri about her hunt for a university.
“Me? Oh, I’m going to try and do politics somewhere,” Miri shrugged. “I’m not as good as Fly so I can’t get into Oxmare.”
“But you get straight As anyway. Where did you send application letters to?” I replied, half-wondering about going to visit her next year.
“Well I sent them to Manechester, Trottingham and Sheffhoof, but I really want to go to Neighcastle. I liked it when I visited there,” Miri said, lazily leafing through a book. “We’ll see.”
I hadn’t expected Miri to be so organised, but then she had been showing a whole new side of her since she was elected Head Filly. I didn’t ask Rarity about her preparations for returning to Ponyville because I didn’t want to think about it. Instead, I just went back to focusing on my piano practice. If all of my friends were going to achieve what they wanted to, then I was going to join them, even if I had to do those awful auditions with strange ponies marking my performance and just waiting to laugh at my every mistake.