//------------------------------// // Chapter 1.1: The Low Down // Story: A Hero's Tale // by Gin_the_Fox //------------------------------// Chapter 1.1: The Low Down "So tell me... what happened that faithful day?" The blinding light obscured my eye sight. There were two ponies, one buff pegasus, and a skinny unicorn. "Well," The unicorn said. "Yer gonna talk?" The buff pegasus leaned over the table, his ripping chest centimeters from the desk. "Or am I gonna choke you outta it?" I struggled in my chair, latched down from head to toe with leather and metal. Fear sung in my body, sweat poring out of my body like a waterfall. "I don't know... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!" I don't know what I did wrong. The pegasus slammed his hoof into the table, now creating a cup holder in the table. "WHAT DO YOU ME-!!!" "Now calm down, no need to go hostile. We are friends... correct?" "He isn't a friend... he's the enemy." My name is- "Shut up! You, convict!" The pegasus seemed mad with the unicorn. Mad enough to kill him. I gulped. "Tell me who," He read a open file about a inch away from the hole he made. A white colored alicorn with a purple mane blossomed on the picture. "Lan Jenkins is... don't leave anything out." "Lan Jenkins... alicorn... possesses incredible magical powers." I paused, waiting for relief. There was none. "Lives with Twilight... that's all I know..." The pegasus slammed his hoof onto the table, making another hole. "EVERYTHING!!!" A ring came, echoing in the room. "We're done here, kill him." The unicorn got up and left, leaving the two alone. "This is going to be fun." "Please don't." "Can't promise that." The intercom came on. "Also, Brute, remember the number one scout rule!" "Leave no trace..." That's when the ship exploded. ~~~~~~~ "Lan, are you sure this is a good idea?" Twilight asked Lan. "It's fine Twi!" Lan responded to Twilight's plea. Lan was going to attempt to break Rainbow Dashes sonic rainboom. If Lan's calculations were correct, which he had complete confidence in, he would destroy the sonic rainboom. All it took was speed and then... well more speed. "You know, it isn't gonna work, Lan." Rainbow Dash said, giving Lan a stare that says, 'fuck with me. I dare you.' "Ya Lan, I don't see how this is going to work. It doesn't apply to physics or laws at all!" Luna said, looking at Lan's crude drawings. Zero butted in, "If anything you shou-" Lan jumped off the purposely high cliff that everyone, being the mane 6 and Lan's friends, were standing on. "Well fuck me." "THAT'S WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAID BEFORE I FUCKED HER! ALSO I SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION BECAUSE IF I DON'T, I COULD DIE A VERY PAINFUL DEATH... NO ONE LIKES YOU ZERO!!!" Lan sped down the ever lasting cliff, through the clouds and fell towards the ground. Lan tucked his wings and closed his eyes, and started to count. 1...2...3...4...5 Lan opened his eyes to see a rift had opened, falling into the portal like a 50 ton weight. ~~~~~~~ "... NO ONE LIKES YOU ZERO!!!" Lan yelled after jumping. Zero turned to Applejack. Applejack smiled to Zero and said, "He doesn't mean it Zero, you know that right?" Zero smiled. "Don't worry! I got him later." Zero snapped his neck. Everypony looked over the edge, and gasped. Five white symbols forming a circle appeared below Lan. As they pulsed, a white portal opened up and sucked Lan in, closing immediately. "Err, what just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked. Fluttershy started to cry out of Lan, as if he just teleported. "This wasn't apart of his plan..." Luna looked at Lan's plan sheet. "Wait... iv'e seen those symbols before... I sware I ha- OH MY CELESTIA!!!" "What is it?" Blue and Arrell asked. "Celestia..." ~~~~~~~ Lan woke up. He was in a white room, with pillars forming a line to a throne. At first Lan didn't realize it, but it hit him harder than he wanted it to be. This was the throne room of Princess Celestia. Lan looked around. It was a exact replica of it, but whiter. A lot more white. Lan rubbed his head, and walked towards the throne. He noticed a figure appearing out of thin air on the throne. It was a alicorn and was bigger than Lan. Lan smiled. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Princess Celestia! How have you been!" Celestia flashed on the throne, not wearing any of her... clothes. Well not her clothes but her shoes and stuff. "Hello Lan." "Why did you call me here? I was going to do something awesome!" Lan grinned evilly. "I need you alive Lan, but on the bright side I have a special job for you." Princess returned the evilness of a smile. "What is it this time? Save a mare? Kill somepony? Have tea with the Queen of England?" "No, no and... NO!!! I need you to... um... how do I put this... there is a bar northeast of Ponyville called the..." "The what?" "The Wet Flank..." "..." Lan gulped. Twilight was not gonna like this. "And do what?" "There is a mare there, of the name..." Celestia rubbed her head and started to laugh. "Ms. Sexy." Lan and Celestia laughed. "Wait shit... I have to go there..." Lan stopped laughing. "Talk to her and ask her about the diamonds. Good luck." Celestia teleported Lan back the Ponyville. "You'll need it." ... "When the time comes Lan, I will return." The room disappeared. ~~~~~~~ Lan was thrown at Twilight's bedside, landing next to Spike. Twilight woke up screaming. "GET OUT!!!" She picked up what looked like a bat with a nail. "Dafuq?" That's when the bat with a nail hit Lan. Wake up idiot... WAKE UP!!! Lan gasped a mouth full of air as he got up. He was laying on Twilight's bed, but Twilight and Spike were no where in sight. Lan couldn't get up, for Twilight had hit his leg. Lan pulled the covers up and before he could fall alsleep, he heard Twilight rushing up with someone. "He right here." Twilight said. "How hard did you hit him?" The other, Discord, said while carefully lifting the blood covered. "Well atleast he's awake." Lan flinched. "How?" "I'm a God." Discord said, bowing to Lan. The room seemed hazy to Lan, as if he was blacking out from blood loose. Guess what happened. "LAN!!!" Twilight screamed. "HEAL HIM NOW!!! BEFORE HE... dies..." Twilight started to cry. "Don't worry your pretty little head, now! Uncle Discord will fix him right up!" Discord snapped his neck and flexed his arms. Twilight flinched. "Your a uncle?" Discord smiled. "I soon will be." Discord removed the sheets, revealing a disgusting, blood ridden, wound. The wound was on Lan's right leg, upper thigh. Discord tested the wound and layed his hand on the hole. The result was a flinch of pain from Lan and a messy hand. Discord stopped smiling and realized what was going on. "Is it that bad?" Twilight asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks. To her, it was just a simple flesh wound. To Discord, it was much more than that. "It's just the leg. It shouldn't be that bad, right? I mean... the book said-" Discord snapped his head at Twilight, tears rolling from his eyes. "WOULD YOU STOP WITH YOUR STUPID BOOKS!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID TO HIM?!" "... No..." Twilight continued to cry. "Lan made that for me, saying that it was for a emergency. I woke up to a bright flash and a voice I haven't heard in three weeks." "Portals do that. While time goes on her normally, the time there speeds by, or slows down." "I came to you the second he didn't wake up. I mean, other than Celestia, your the most powerful creature here." Discord didn't answer. Instead he twisted his hand, summoning black magic forth. He placed his hand on Lan's wound, forced all his magic into Lan. Lan's magic started to push the unwanted magic out, but Discord's magic started to kill the white flakes. The magic pulsed through Lan, neutralizing and healing and a fast pace. Soon, Lan's wound was healed and sealed. Discord lifted his hand off Lan, completely out of magic for Discord or Lan. Why is Lan's magic trying to block out my magic? But how is that- "Is he going to be ok?" Asked Twilight. "... Yes..." Twilight nearly jumped with joy, but pushed back the thought that it could affect the baby. "I'm... i'm going to leave now." Discord started to walk down the stairs. "Discord!" Discord looked back at Twilight. "Thank you... so much for doing this for me." Discord smiled. ~~~~~~~ Lan woke up next to Twilight and Spike in his bed. Twilight was tightly curled up on Lan and was holding Spike like a teddy. Lan smiled and curled his arms and wings around Twilight and Spike, as today, his new day begins. Lan remembered what had happen over the last couple of days, or more as three weeks. He had attempted to do a new move, but was sucked in by a portal that lead to Celestia. They talked about a hooker named Ms. Sexy, and to find and ask about the diamonds. Then Lan was teleported back into Twilight's room, then got whacked with a stick in the leg. Somehow he had been put 'to sleep' by it and Discord healed him. "Well time to find a hooker." ~~~~~~~ Message from Editor, I'm lazy as fuck, I get bored as fuck and get distracted by shit, causing me to not give a fuck, and I have MASSIVES amounts of ADD, meaning I simply don't give a fuck. Isn't fuck such a fun word? Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck... what am I doing and why am I writing this down? Love, piss off.