(The writer forgot to mention that Disney probably would have sued the pants off of him as well. On with the story!)
While Keroro watched 2/5 of his platoon betray him, Fuyuki was having a much more pleasant morning. He was walking to school with Apple Bloom to be her show and tell subject. He had only been in Ponyville for one day, but the locals already treated him with more respect than he had been shown by anyone except Sgt. Keroro and Dororo during the time he had known them.
Not surprisingly, Dororo was currently in the same boat. He loved living with Fluttershy. She really knew how to make a visitor from another planet feel welcome and appreciated. But he also missed Koyuki, his closest friend from back home. Yes, he was even closer to her than he was to his platoon mates; and he had known Keroro and Giroro for most of his life.
That’s…kind of sad when you think about it.
While on their walk, Apple Bloom was asking Fuyuki all sorts of questions.
(The funny part is, Apple Bloom is voiced by an actual 13 year old girl, but Fuyuki is voiced by a smokin’ hot woman in her early 30s!)
“Say, Fuyuki…what are some of your favorite hobbies?” Fuyuki smiled.
“Well, you might find this kind of nerdy, but I like reading and studying the paranormal.”
“Para-what-now?” Apple Bloom looked quizzical. Fuyuki knew he was about to lose her interest and had to save it.
“Um, ghosts and stuff like that.” The filly’s eyes lit up.
“Really? That’s so cool!” Fuyuki beamed, having been touched by the cute little pony’s words of affirmation.
Someone thinks something I do is cool? Yep, that totally clinches it. I’m staying here.
Meanwhile, Dororo was sharing many of the same sentiments about Fluttershy. Compared to how he was usually treated back home by everyone not named Koyuki, this was paradise.
When I next see Koyuki, I’ll invite her to live here with myself and Fluttershy, if she’ll have us.
(Hokey smoke, Keroro’s plan is backfiring spectacularly! With Dororo and Fuyuki getting content in Equestria, Sgt. Frog will never be the same! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that is not a good thing!)
(Things just kept getting worse back on Earth/Pekopon. Discord was well on his way to turning Tokyo into the chaos capitol of the world! With a 5 star restaurant in his castle!)
“We freely admit to serving horse meat in all of our products. Stop in for a bite, won’t you?” Discord said while holding a tray full of food, which he then tossed into the trash as he walked down the hall with his advisor, Kululu. He was happy with how things were turning out so far, but he wanted something a little bit…more.
“Kululu, how can we really make this into an adventure?”
“Personally, I’d go for gathering up all of Pekopon’s leaders, locking them in a room, and making them watch Troll 2 on endless repeat, but that’s just me.”
(Forget Discord…Kululu’s the real evil here! Troll 2 is up there with Batman and Robin as the US Military’s favorite torture devices for detained terrorists!)
Discord snapped his fingers.
“I’ve got it! The next time I see Twilight Sparkle, I will give her wings and make her abandon her friends! The bronies will cower before the villain they once praised as a pretty cool guy!”
“I have an even better idea, commander.” Kululu said. He whispered his plan to Discord, which was met with a huge smile.
“That is the best idea I have ever heard! This is exactly why I picked you as my #1 assistant, Kululu. And you’re much funnier than Spike.”
“And that’s sort of approximately how it happened. Fuyuki is living every brony’s dream, and my villainous scheme to take over Pekopon has resulted in the most awkward heel turn since R-Truth smoked a cigarette on WWE Raw.” Keroro took a deep breath after spilling his guts to Momoka. The young girl remained completely silent. She picked Keroro up again, a bit more gently this time.
“Where is Discord?”
(Psst…don’t tell Momoka, but Discord turned her house into his castle in the short time she’s been gone. If she ever finds out, the results will not be pretty.)
At that time, Fuyuki had just finished presenting himself in the classroom as Apple Bloom’s show and tell subject. He was really enjoying himself. However, he had to restrain himself from making comments about “watching the show.” He could say that all day in his own universe, but this was another story. Very few ponies seemed aware of the legendary fourth wall. He also refrained from mentioning anything about Discord. The fillies knew nothing about the spirit of chaos and disharmony’s latest escapade. As far as they knew, the kid with the blue hair was the result of a spell gone wrong; at least that was Twilight’s story.
After the presentation was over, all of the ponies wanted to meet Fuyuki and learn more about him.
(Oh no, Fuyuki’s becoming a bad Mary Sue! I know he’s the Rodney Dangerfield of our show, but this is just too sappy!)
Just then, someone burst through the front door. It was a red and black filly with wings and a horn. She wore a black cape, tons of hoof accessories, sunglasses, and moose horns for decoration. Her mane was stylized after the famous DJ Vinyl Scratch and her tail after Rainbow Dash. Everypony was left staring in confusion at the little pony in front of them.
“Yo…you crazy kids may wanna drop this motha-buckin’ lesson like my momma’s bass cannon and look outside!”
Apple Bloom and Fuyuki wandered outside the classroom and saw a strange pattern across the sky. No stranger to strange happenings, Fuyuki started puzzling and puzzling until his puzzler was sore about what could possibly cause such a disturbance. It suddenly hit him when he stared directly above himself. He could see the familiar buildings of his home city in the sky.
(What is the significance of what Fuyuki sees? Who is this young, jive-talking filly who looks like a fashion victim? And why haven’t I gotten that paycheck yet? Hasbro could spare a few hundred thousand bucks!)
The remaining members of the Armpit Platoon sat in the secret base, watching as everything started to unfold.
“You know, I have to hand it to you, Keroro. I did not see this coming. You struck a deal to bring a powerful villain from another show here as our ally. A foolproof plan…and you still managed to screw it up!” Giroro said. His expression went from smug to shock when he noticed his commander’s fiery eyes.
“Enough! Discord has messed with the wrong frog! No one gets to become the supreme leader of Pekopon but me! Pack your froggin’ bags, Corporal! We are gonna go to Equestria, find those ponies that beat Discord on the show, and enlist their help!”
“Okay…how exactly are we going to do that?”
“Weren’t you paying attention when I explained it back in chapter 1? We’ll use Kululu’s Fourth Wall Wrecker!” Giroro suddenly noticed something strange on the monitor. He could see strange images in the sky. Images of a village filled with ponies.
“If I’m on some kind of drug, I swear I’ll quit it cold turkey!” Meanwhile, Keroro was still ranting.
“But the real reason I’m frustrated is PonyWithAPen’s lack of originality! The whole ‘see another world in the sky’ thing was very clearly inspired by the first Digimon series!” Giroro stared blankly at his commanding officer, and walked away.
“I’m going to prepare a hero’s burial for the fourth wall…rest easy, brave warrior.” Giroro held back his tears as he made the announcement. Keroro stared on, annoyed.
Discord sat back and laughed manically as his plan sprang into action. Upon Kululu’s suggestion, he had decided to merge Equestria and Japan, creating situations for both countries’ inhabitants.
“I’ve got to hand it to you, Kululu. Needlessly complicating the everyday functions of Pekopon and Equestria is going to provide us with even more chances for chaos! As a celebration, I think we should make Tamama do some silly dances for us as entertainment!”
As Discord laughed, Tamama became shakier. It was clear all the chocolate milk he was drinking was having a terrible effect on him.
Please…no more…I’ve had all the chocolate milk and dancing I can take…Mr. Seargent… Momoka…help me…
(Wow…that was a relatively dark scene to end the chapter. Is this a comedy fan fiction or have we shifted right into grimdark? I read Cupcakes, you know. Couldn’t sleep for a week. Oh, the chapter’s ending. I should say something profound. Um…ponies…ponies with elaborate backstories who appeared for 5 seconds on-screen with John Travolta and Tim Allen! Actually, I think a pony voiced by John Travolta or Tim Allen would make for a great time. Bleh…can I just have my check and go to the bank, already?)