Princess Twilight Sparkle was going about her normal morning routine. It was remarkably similar to the normal morning routine of just Twilight Sparkle, with the exception that Princess Twilight Sparkle had wings to take care of, as well as royal regalia, all of which took some getting used to. The extra time involved in caring for the regalia and putting on her wings—wait, caring for her wings and putting on the regalia—had completely thrown off her morning schedule, and she had been forced to redo the whole thing. In the end, of course, it was almost identical to her previous schedule, according to Spike. Twilight had explained to him the differences until he had understood, or at least until he gave up trying to argue about it.
She was on her bed in the middle of preening her wings, an activity she preferred to perform alone, for obvious reasons. Having to be taught how it was done was embarrassing enough. However, Celestia had insisted that learning from a book wouldn’t be sufficient for such an important part of life as an alicorn, so she had taken it upon herself to teach her former student personally.
Twilight finished with one wing and moved on to the next one when Spike burst into her room. Sure, it was his room too, but that didn’t mean he should just barge in whenever he felt like it, certainly not while Twilight was preening.
“Spike! Do you mind?” she yelled indignantly. She turned around on the bed to try to hide the awkwardly extended wing from his viewpoint on the lower level of the room.
“No, go ahead,” he said, completely missing the point of her question, either deliberately or due to obliviousness. Knowing Spike, it was likely deliberate. On the other hoof, he was male, so it could have been obliviousness. Twilight made a mental note to do a study of that phenomenon at some point in the near future. In the meantime, she was faced with the problem of half-finished personal grooming and a young dragon in the room holding a sealed letter. Wait, a letter?
“Princess Celestia sent a letter for you,” Spike said as though he had heard the question in Twilight’s mind.
Twilight sighed. “Go ahead and read it.” After making sure Spike wouldn’t be able to see, she turned her head to resume work on her feathers.
“I can’t.”
Twilight looked back at him. “You can’t? Why not?”
“It’s sealed.”
Twilight groaned. “Then break the seal.”
Spike shook his head. “It says for your eyes only.”
“I’m sure you’re an exception to that,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. “This isn’t the first time we’ve gotten a letter like that.”
“This one specifically says, ‘Spike, give this letter to Twilight. Don’t open it.’”
With a mixture of annoyance and genuine interest, Twilight levitated the letter out of Spike’s grip and up to her bed so she could see it for herself. Sure enough, the warning was clearly written on the outside of the letter.
Spike, give this letter to Twilight. Don’t open it. —Princess Celestia
She folded her wing against her side. The letter must be important if Spike wasn’t even allowed to read it. Preening could wait. She broke the seal and unrolled the letter. A newspaper article of some kind had been rolled up inside it. She’d never heard of the paper it came from: Weekly Equestrian News. The article had a poorly edited photo of Celestia, Twilight, Luna, and Rarity all standing next to each other.
“Rarity?”
Spike was still in the room. “What about Rarity?”
“Don’t worry about it, Spike.” Twilight absently waved a hoof in his direction, a gesture somewhere between ‘calm down’ and ‘go away.’ He did neither, standing where he was anxiously awaiting any more information he could get.
Personal Affairs of Princesses: The Truth About Our Rulers
It’s been a hot week in the lives of the Princesses...at least, the unmarried ones. According to a source close to the royal family, Princess Luna has taken a lover: a dressmaker from Ponyville! You may not recognize the name Rarity, who has had only a couple brief moments in the spotlight with her fashion designs, but you’re sure to recognize her other title: Bearer of the Element of Generocity!
“They didn’t even spell generosity right!” Twilight said incredulously. “What kind of newspaper is this?”
“What did it say about Rarity?”
Twilight looked away from the article to see that Spike was still in the room and had once again donned a shirt which bore a heart and Rarity’s face on it. Despite her efforts, Twilight never could get him to get rid of those, or even to give up where he hid them. She suspected he had Pinkie Pie’s help in hiding them all around town.
“Spike, please step outside for a minute so I can read this.” She magically enforced her request by picking him up and setting him outside the door, which she then closed and locked.
It seems this pony really does exemplify her element: she’s even generous in the bedroom, recently sharing Princess Luna and herself with another royal couple, and we aren’t talking about Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armoire.
“Armoire? Seriously?”
The couple in question is Princess Celestia...and Princess Twilight Sparkle.
“What?”
According to an anonymous source, the two have been together secretly for some time. Another source even suggested that Twilight Sparkle never deserved the position of Celestia’s personal student; that she lacked the ‘greatness and powerfulness’ of other, better candidates. There is only one conclusion which can be drawn from these facts.
“What facts? There are no facts here!”
Princess Celestia selected Twilight Sparkle based on physical attraction alone, despite the age difference involved.
Twilight couldn’t say anything else, her mouth hung open as she read the rest of the article in slowly mounting horror.
Twilight Sparkle was chosen at a very young age. Allegedly, the day she was chosen was the day she got her cutie mark. Immediately, she was taken away from her parents—who had no choice in the matter—to live with Princess Celestia. Once in the castle, we have no way of knowing what kind of life she had, but with her room adjoining Princess Celestia’s, we can be certain the Princess could have taught her absolutely anything she wanted.
A former student from Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns who asked to remain anonymous told us that Twilight Sparkle was always more interested in “studying” with her mentor than having any friends her own age. I think we can all guess what happened in these “study sessions” if they prevented Twilight Sparkle from having any interest in social interaction with her peers.
Eventually, Princess Celestia sent Twilight Sparkle to live in Ponyville. Allegedly to “learn about the magic of friendship,” the real reason was to take attention away from their illicit relationship. They couldn’t stay apart from each other for long, and after Princess Celestia made Twilight Sparkle into a princess as well—a decision highly criticized by many—it seems that they no longer feel the need to keep their relationship a secret. But now that the truth is out, will anypony be able to accept what Princess Celestia has done?
The article ended with a grainy but undeniably real photo of Celestia preening Twilight’s feathers. It had the subtitle, Preening. Is it really appropriate for the Princess to assist so personally with such a private activity?
Twilight carefully set the article aside and turned to the letter from Celestia, speechless.
My Dear Twilight,
If you haven’t already done so, please read the article I sent to you, as that is what this letter concerns.
I’m sorry you had to learn the truth this way, but these sort of rumors are inevitable. The fact is that ponies have been spreading these rumors since shortly after I took you on as my student, just as they did for every other student I’ve ever taught. While you were still my student, I was able to shield you from the public eye, but a Princess cannot hide from her people. For this reason I must ask you to come to Canterlot immediately for a press conference to be held this afternoon addressing these unfounded accusations.
Signed,
Princess “Sunnybutt” Celestia
P.S. I agree the nickname is quite amusing from time to time. I do wish, however, that my sister had not learned of it.
Twilight blinked. She looked at the article. She looked back at the letter. She blinked again. She jumped out of bed and glided to the lower level of her room, unlocking and opening the door as she went. She screamed Spike’s name—unnecessary, since he was waiting just outside the door—and when she saw him she picked him up and set him on her back.
“You’re coming with me.” She ignored his requests for further explanation as she ran down the stairs. One pony was already in the library searching the shelves for something to read. Without pausing her run out of the library, Twilight picked him up and set him outside with a random book.
“We have to get to Canterlot for a press conference this afternoon,” Twilight said as she closed and locked the library door. She spread her wings and took to the air while Spike hung on for dear life.
Rumble sat on the ground outside the library, bewildered by what he had just witnessed. He looked down at the book Princess Twilight had given him. “Cool,” he said, picking up the library’s copy of the Pony Sutra.
It was a rough flight. Princess Celestia had warned her that having asymmetrical wings could lead to an unstable flight pattern, but Twilight had never experienced it for herself. It was never so bad that it made her drop Spike...accidentally. She dropped him once on purpose when he wouldn’t stop complaining that she was going to make him fall. Once she caught him again he didn’t say another word about falling. She had meant for the experience to be a comfort; she wanted to show him that even if he fell she’d catch him, but he seemed to take it as more of a threat that if he didn’t shut up, next time she wouldn’t catch him. Either way, it stopped the complaining.
Once they arrived, a pair of guards escorted them to see Princess Celestia, while a half dozen others held back a crowd of reporters, all clamoring for attention and asking for statements. Twilight, as Celestia had taught her, refused to even give them so much as a “no comment.” Princess Celestia met them in the throne room, with guards at every entrance. She sent Spike with one of them to get him settled into a room during his stay. Her tone told Spike that it would be in his best interest not to argue.
Once they were alone with a couple dozen royal guards, Celestia sighed. “Are you alright?” she asked Twilight.
Twilight nodded mutely, still trying to phrase the any of the multitude of questions she had.
“Your wing is a mess,” Celestia observed quietly. “Did something happen on the way here?”
“What?” Twilight blinked in surprise. “N-No. I got your letter before I finished...getting ready for the day. I hurried to get here.”
“Are you having any trouble preening?” Celestia asked. “I could help you with it if you want.”
Twilight blushed brightly. “No, no, I can do it myself. Besides, aren’t you worried about all these reporters around?”
“Not particularly,” Celestia said. “Like I told you in the letter, this isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. Although if all goes well, this will be the last time there are any such rumors about you.” There was an odd glint in Celestia’s eye as she spoke which made Twilight more nervous than the reporters waiting outside. “You should get yourself cleaned up before we go out there.” Celestia gave a meaningful look at Twilight’s wing.
“I, um...” Twilight looked around at all the exits, each of which had at least one royal guard posted at it. “Is there somewhere more private I can go for that?”
Celestia watched her for a second before answering. “There is no room in the castle more secure against an invasion of privacy than this one right now. Besides, if you go somewhere else I can’t help you prepare for the press conference.”
“I said I could do it myself,” Twilight mumbled, her face burning.
“Of course, Twilight,” Celestia laughed. “I meant with any questions you have before we get started.”
“Oh, right. Who wrote the article? Where did they get all these ‘sources’? Why would—”
Celestia laughed again. “One at a time, Twilight! Now, as for who wrote the article, who knows? The writers for Weekly Equestrian News are always anonymous. They all write with a pen name so no one knows who they are. Just from reading one of their articles I’m sure you can understand why. And their sources? They don’t exist.”
Twilight gasped. “They lied about their sources?”
“Twilight,” Celestia said gently, “I’m afraid not everypony holds research papers in as high a regard as you and I do. Some ponies feel the need to stretch the truth, and others do, in fact, lie. While it’s not a practice I entirely approve of for a newspaper that tries to present itself as fact, and I’m sure your friend Applejack wouldn’t either, when it comes to works of fiction, the entire thing is a lie. The Weekly Equestrian News is fiction. Why, just last month there was an article insisting on the existence of seaponies. Unfortunately, a lot of ponies believe the things they read, whether or not they’re true. Especially when the source claims to be telling the truth.”
Twilight sat on the floor, shocked, her worldview breaking and rebuilding around the harsh reality she’d just learned. Her lips trembled and tears pooled in her eyes.
A pained look crossed Celestia’s face and she hurried to comfort Twilight. “Twilight, I am so sorry, I never should have—”
A guard interrupted her. “Your highnesses, the press conference is scheduled to begin in five minutes.”
Twilight gasped and looked at her wing. Celestia wiped Twilight’s tears away.
“Quickly, Twilight, get that wing taken care of and get ready for the cameras. I’ll do most of the talking, but when they ask you questions, and they will, just tell the truth. You’ll be fine.”
Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight Sparkle stood in front of the throne, above hundreds of ponies, most of whom had notepads or cameras or microphones, and all of whom were waiting for them to speak. Twilight tried not to tremble standing next to Celestia with so many eyes watching her, waiting for her to do something, anything wrong that they could pick apart the next day.
“My little ponies,” Princess Celestia said with a smile to greet the gathered reporters. “I have led Equestria for countless years. When one lives as long as I have, it becomes difficult to be surprised, because everything’s happened before.” Princess Celestia’s smile faded. “And yet, sometimes it is surprising to me that any of you would be so convinced of something when you heard it from a source like the Weekly Equestrian News. I know many of you have written for them in the past.” She paused to look at several ponies in particular, all of whom avoided her gaze. “Did any of you tell the truth when you did?” She waited in silence. Other than a cough from someone, there was no answer. Princess Celestia’s smile returned. “I’ll take that as a no. Now, you have all known and trusted me for your entire lives. Is that trust so fragile that it would be shaken by a rumor like this? A rumor that keeps coming back time and time again, even though I have shown it to be false every time?”
“You told us what you wanted us to hear, but we never heard the truth from Twilight herself!” a reporter called out from the crowd. A guard started to make his way in that direction to seize the insolent pony, but Princess Celestia stopped him.
“That is true,” Princess Celestia said. “In the past, she was too young to be involved in anything like this. Now that she is older, I requested she join me in telling you the truth. In a moment you may ask her your questions, but be warned.” Her eyes flashed in an extremely rare show of anger. “I tolerate much when it is directed at me, however, if you are insulting to those I care about, such as my sister or Twilight Sparkle, there will be consequences.” As if to test a theory, someone dropped a pin, proving that yes, it was quiet enough in the room to hear a pin drop.
After a few seconds, every reporter in the room started yelling at once for Princess Twilight’s attention. Princess Celestia smiled reassuringly to her and gestured out at the reporters.
Princess Twilight Sparkle took a step forward and pointed to one of the reporters.
“Princess Twilight! Is it true you stayed in a room adjoining Princess Celestia’s?”
“N-No,” Princess Twilight stammered quietly. The reporter waited for her to continue. When it became clear she wasn't going to, Princess Celestia gave her some encouragement.
“Go on, Princess, I think they want to hear more than a one word answer.”
Princess Twilight cleared her throat and continued a little more loudly. “When I was little, I lived down the hall from her, but that was just in case I got scared during a thunderstorm or something. When I got older I moved into another room in a different wing of the castle. I never stayed in a room right next to hers.” She gestured to another reporter who was waiting to ask a question.
“Princess Twilight, did you ever spend the night in Princess Celestia’s room?”
Princess Celestia’s eyes narrowed imperceptibly.
“Yes,” Twilight said, and the crowd immediately started murmuring. She raised her voice to be heard. “Like I said before, when I was little I was afraid of thunderstorms. When I was staying at the castle I couldn’t just run to my mother’s room, so I went to the Princess when I was scared.” The murmurs continued, but Twilight pointed to another reporter.
“Did your parents have any choice about whether you went to stay at the castle or not?”
Twilight blinked in surprise at the thought of Celestia forcing something like that on somepony. Celestia wondered if Twilight always got something in her eye when she was surprised. Maybe that was what kept surprising her, and it had nothing to do with what was said. “Of course! They’ve always wanted what’s best for me, and with a special talent for magic, what could be better than being the personal student of the pony who founded the school of magic?”
“Even if that meant they wouldn’t see you anymore?”
“Who said anything about them never seeing me? I may have lived in the castle, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t visit them and they couldn’t visit me. I saw them at least once a week!”
“Princess! Is it true you never spent any time with ponies your age when you stayed at the castle?”
“Well, not exactly,” Twilight said slowly. “I did spend some time with my classmates, but usually if I had the choice I’d spend my time studying instead.”
“With Princess Celestia?”
“Whenever I could, yes,” Twilight smiled, happy they finally got it. They didn’t.
“Is it true that ‘studying’ is your euphemism for...um...” The reporter’s voice trailed away as he stared into the eyes of a pony who was angrier than he had ever seen. Twilight didn’t notice.
“Euphemism for...?” she asked, trying to get him to finish the question.
He trembled and didn’t speak. Twilight looked to Celestia for help. Celestia didn’t look away from the reporter, but saw that Twilight was silently asking her for input.
“Sex, Twilight,” she said bluntly. “This pony is asking if when you say you liked to study with me, what you really mean is that you liked to have sex with me.”
“Oh,” Twilight whispered. “Um, no. No, I-I meant study,” she said hoarsely. She could feel her face burning with embarrassment again. “Like...homework. Math, history, magic, that kind of thing.”
Princess Celestia released the reporter from her gaze. He slumped to the floor and refused to look up for the rest of the press conference for fear of meeting the Princess’ angry eyes again. For her part, Princess Celestia looked out over the heads of everyone in the crowd, no longer making eye contact with any of them as she attempted to piece her smile back together. Princess Twilight gestured to another reporter, who was either incredibly brave or incredibly foolish to ask the questions he did in light of what had just happened.
“How would you describe your relationship with Princess Celestia?”
Twilight could hear a grinding noise from next to her. She glanced to see what it was just in time for it to stop, but she could see that Celestia’s mouth was tightly clenched shut and she suspected that the Princess’ teeth were suddenly a tiny bit shorter.
“I used to say that Princess Celestia was my teacher. Almost a maternal figure, when I was little. Now...” Celestia looked at Twilight with genuine curiosity in her eyes. Twilight looked back and smiled. “...now she’s a good friend.” Celestia relaxed and returned the smile.
“Just a friend?” the reporter pressed.
Twilight gasped at the question and turned to answer, but Princess Celestia beat her to it.
“I think there is only one way to finally put these rumors to rest, once and for all. Twilight?”
Twilight turned back to her friend questioningly. Celestia leaned down as though to whisper something to her.