//------------------------------// // Madness can be beautiful. // Story: Misery of the heart, Madness of the mind. // by theblarglknight //------------------------------// "...And that's how I arrived." I finished as I was done telling my story. "..." I look back at my viewer, wondering what he was thinking. "Well?" I ask. "..." I don't believe this. Is he ignoring me? ME!? I thought we were friends. Amigos. Two peas in this twisted pod they call life! But no, no. He merely wanted me to tell him so he could mock me. To hurt me. Well no more. "YOU ARE THE WORST! LISTENING ORANGE EVER!" I yelled as I tossed him into the brick wall so hard he made a *SPLAT* as his insides and juices were smeared against the stony flat surface. "Hrmmph! Stupid orange, thinking I could tell HIM what happened to me. I need to stop hanging out with the bad boys." I sighed as I walked down the empty alleyways of Canterlot. What was I doing again? I was supposed to be doing something extremely important yet I can't seem to remember what. I scrunched my face as I tried my hardest to remember. Feeling it hit me like a tidal wave, I snapped my fingers with an "Oh!" coming from my lips as I pulled my hat off my head and began digging in it. "Where are you?" I wondered as I searched deeply inside my hat. I then began pulling things out of it in this exact fashion. A box of tissues. An element of laughter. Fake dog poo, I began giggling as I remembered the fun I had with it. A scooter. A little red wagon. A cute baby dwagon! Why I say it like that, because its fucking cuter than hell that's why. "Maybe it's- AH HA!" I exclaimed with glee as I pulled out what I was looking for. It was the most amazing thing that any insane eyes could lay there beady destroyed minds on. Something so powerful. So AMAZING, that the mere sight of it would drown cities. It was... IT WAS... A TUNA-SALAD SANDWICH! At the thought I immediately devoured it in one shove, gulping it down without chewing while burping as it was gone. "Oh, pardon me." I said to myself as I waited for my intestinal gasses to go back into place. "Now that that is settled. I might as well try to find this Jester that I've heard about. Better not try to take my tea or sandwiches, or I'll skin him alive, light him on fire, all while dancing to hakuna matata." I said as I smirked. Man I love music. Beats not hearing music any day of the void. Maybe I shoul- "WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU!?" I very high-pitched yell comes as I pass by a small pony. I look down to her, her shaking form, her fear of me. It reminds me of something; oh yes. "It reminds me of the hunt!" I exclaim as love the saying. Realizing that I just said that out loud, I look back down to the poor pony who is now shivering, scared, AND confused. I love being me. "S-stay b-back, I know m-magic!" She said as the pony lit up her horn. I took a few seconds to admire the white coated mare. She had what I call, the spark. If she was taller, maybe a bit slimmer, she could pass off as a model. With that thought, I grinned. I think my grin upset her even more as she started backing away from me. "Tell me miss. Do you wish to be beautiful?" I ask, her form stopping from trying to run. "W-what?" She asked, confusion and fear in her voice. "Oh I'm sorry, I said; do you wish to be beautiful?" I ask again, wondering about her response. "W-well I-I guess." She stated, oh this will be good. "Wait, how?" She asked while raising an eyebrow in confusion. "What is your name miss?" I ask her. "Fleur, Fleur De Lis. Might I ask what's your name?" She asked, though if a bit cautiously. I chuckled at this. "Oh I have many names. Insanity, madness, denial; but I guess for now you can call me Hatter." I said while presenting my hand to her. She seemed a little shocked to see that my hand was almost as white as snow. Though again, she was very cautious and did not attempt to shake. Good girl. "What do you mean 'make me beautiful'?" She asked. "I mean, I know I'm not the prettiest mare, or the smartest, or even the most popular, but I do admit I've always had dreams of being a model; so why are you offering to make me beautiful?" She asked in an almost curious wondering look. "Why my mademoiselle, I do because I am feeling generous. Plus I can sense it driving you crazy." "What was that last part?" "Nothing my dear now then, you still haven't answered my question. Do you, Fleur De Lis; wish to be beautiful?" I ask smiling at her. "Yes, but what's the catch?" Now finally growing serious. "Ah, clever girl. This catch that you speak of is this. I want you to find a wealthy stallion. But I also want him to be nice, kind, generous and humble. Then, I want you to marry said man. No cheating, no lies, I want you to truly fall in love with him." I state my claim as I look into her eyes. "But, how do you know there exist such a stallion? I mean I've seen plenty of the nobles, but they usually don't pay me much mind. So how?" Fleur asked me, her mind growing more and more confused. "Simple my dear. Try." With those final words I snapped my fingers. She let out an audible yelp as the changes were almost instant. She grew taller and larger. Her eyes shone more brightly and her hair became exotically gorgeous. In simple words; bitch got hot. She let out a gasp as she started looking over her self. Quickly finishing her autopsy of her new body, she looked up to thank me only to realize I was not there anymore. I smiled more as she galloped down the street, most likely to her home to get a better look at herself. Just because madness is random, or straight up different. Does not make it bad, it merely opens up a door to both good and bad futures. "Now then." I said as I teleported into Canterlot castle, more specifically a certain snobbish unicorn's room. Blueblood was said unicorn's name. Because when he wakes up, he's up for a smelly, brown surprise. "I love fake dog poop." I whisper as I start smearing all over his room. Like I said, madness is both good and naughty, but never one or the other at different intervals. Snapping my fingers once the deed was done, I teleported up to the mountain that Canterlot was built on. The very top to be exact. *Inhales* "Ahhh... I love the smell of mountain air." I say as I begin to relax, watching Celestia's sun slowly rising. The birds chirping in the air, the peaceful winds, the terrified shrieks of the royalty being fucked up the ass with dog shit. All so peaceful. "You know it won't last." I voice from behind me says. Without even needing anything to know who he is. I turn around. "Jester." I say, with a bit of distaste in my mouth. "Oh you always know how to say the right things Hatty!" He says, coming closer with his arms out-stretched. "Touch me and I will personally destroy the fourth-wall with your face." I state as I glare at the ridiculously clothed man. "Ahh brother, you know that in doing so, you would not also end ALL of insanity, but destroy everything else about this world correct?" My brother replied with a devilish grin. "You act like I care for these pitiful equines." I state sourly. "I saw what you did to the girl." Was all he said as I was immediately up and inches away from his face. "I helped her because she was going mad trying to be beautiful. I didn't want her to end up-" "To end up like the last victim of yours?" Jester finished, smirking with a raise eyebrow. I merely growled at him. "Like it or not Hatty were in this together, whether you like me or not. Hell, you and me have suffered the same fate that the Void gave us. So why all the hate?" He asked with a frown. "Because unlike you I know that my power isn't supposed to be used to corrupt others. Look at what you did to Discord!" I yell, anger rising with steam blowing out my hat. "Oh, him. If you think that was bad; do not worry. In all honesty he was more of a failed experiment then an actual villain. Though I did enjoy watching him cry as his sanity left him; and do you want to know the last thing he said before he changed!?" Jester asked shoving his face into mine. "What." I grumbled as I knew where this was heading. "Celestia, my love. Please, forgive me." Jester said with a perfect spot-on imitation of Discord. "Leave now. I wish to be alone." I state as I look back to the horizon, the sun almost nearly in the sky. "Very well then, but you must realize that madness can corrupt to, just in different ways." Jester said as he began walking. "Remember this though brother, we both shared the same hell. But only one of us truly accepted our fate." With that he snapped his fingers and was gone. Just like that. I stood there for hours, glaring at the horizon. Hours became days, days became months, finally it was winter when I finally stopped and said something. "I'm hungry."