//------------------------------// // A Bit of a Break // Story: The Drums of War: How to live as a Timepony // by ShackledTime //------------------------------//  It’d been a few hours now, and we were well on our way down the road. I had my eyes on the road, Tyler was asleep in the passenger seat, and Ditzy...    “Why can’t I sleep!?” she suddenly yelled, causing me to jerk slightly.  I slowed down the car to look at Ditzy in the rear view mirror, “You’re having trouble sleeping?”  “Yes.” she said, sitting up, “It’s odd; I had no trouble sleeping before...”   I simply shrugged at the statement, “I don’t really blame you, I wouldn’t want to sleep knowing I’m with a previously psychotic alien.” ‘Oh, come off it!’ the Master mentally scorns, making me flinch, ‘I’m no more insane than you are at this point.’    “Yeah,” Ditzy admitted, after thinking, “that would explain it.”   I looked to my side to see Tyler sleeping with his earphones in, I can still hear the music, a faint violin can be heard in rapid tempo, and I kinda crack a smile at him. “Just like most of the human race,” I said under my breath, “completely oblivious to the world around him...”   I shake my head of the foreign thought as I hear something shifting in the backseat and look in the rear view mirror for the second time, seeing Ditzy pull up her laptop.   “What are you doing?” I asked.   “Trying to figure out what to do.” she replied, tapping a few keys, “It’s most likely going to be solitare.”   ‘I wonder...’ I think to myself, ‘Master, I’m going to try something.’  ‘What, what are you planning to do?’ he asks.   “I might be able to make that a bit less boring.” I told her, ignoring the Master’s question.   “Oh? How so?” she asks, looking at my eyes in the mirror, “Does it involve the laser screwdriver?”   “Kinda,” I admit, “I mean, if the Doctor can give a cell phone crystal clear reception to the year 2006 from the end of the Earth, I think I can give you global internet access.” Ditzy is smiling like she just won the lottery at this point.   “That sounds awesome!” she nearly shouts, Tyler not even flinching.   ‘Seriously, that’s what you’re doing?’’ the Master complains, ‘You’re going to up and use the thing for a little tinkering, and you even compared what it can do to what the Doctor’s done. Really, laser is obviously superior to sonic technology.’   “Yeah, let me just...” I said, reaching into my collar with little success, “I need to pull over for a sec.”   “I’m fine with that.” I heard her say; I could almost hear the ‘squee’.   I pull off to the side of the road, away from traffic. As soon as we’re parked, Ditzy just about leaps out of the back door, myself getting out with a bit more casually.   “Alright,” I said, finally pulling free the laser screwdriver from my collar, “Let me get a look at that laptop.”   She carefully handed me the rather bulky laptop, “Careful with it,” she said, “it’s a bit heavy.”   “Heavy, really?” I asked, gently setting it on a dry patch of grass. “Maybe for your pegasus frame, but for me?” I continue,” It’s a bit heavier than a Toshiba, I’ll give it that.” I open up the computer and take the screwdriver to the topright corner of the screen, connecting every available relay to the modem.   “What do you want with the screen?” Ditzy asked, pointing to the keyboard, “The modem’s here.”   “Yes, it is,” I said, continuing to work, “but I need to connect certain frequencies throughout the whole thing. Basically, I’m making the whole thing a receiver.” The laptop pings as the job is done, the internet configuration screen popping up with over a dozen full bar connections.   “Ya know what?” she said, almost bored sounding. “I’ll just chalk it up to you being a Time Lord.”    “That, and technological advances, the likes of which you’ll never see.” I bragged, starting to put the laser screwdriver back.   “I’m looking at them right now.” She said, looking directly at the device in my hoof.   “Well, this is only a bit of what I could have.” I said, before a sudden memory of all the trinkets and objects the Master had on his TARDIS appeared in my head, “The rest is on the TARDIS, wherever it is...” I suddenly add.  “Could I have a look at the screwdriver?” she asked, snapping me out of my slight trip down the wrong side of memory lane.   I looked between the Pegasus in front of me and back to the tool I’m holding “I guess?” I answer, “I mean, it’s not like you could hurt someone with it, unless you threw it at them.”    “I know. I can’t even drive screws with it.” she jokes.   I place the screwdriver in her hoof, the metal clanking as it shifts slightly, “Alright, just make sure to give it back then you’re done,” I said, “I’ve only got one of those, you know.”   “I will.” She said, looking it over, giggling like a schoolfilly.   I looked back at the clock in the car, it read almost 8:00 at night. “Well, I’m going to take a short nap,” I said, about to jump back into the car, “kinda helps numb the gash.”   “Be back soon!” she said, just about blasting into the air.   I got into the back seat, making sure to grab Ditzy’s laptop when I did, falling into a slight sleep almost as soon as I lay down. **** **** **** ****    “Nooooooo!” I suddenly heard outside, making me jump right out the door as soon as I could manage, Tyler shifting slightly uncomfortable, Ditzy’s voice apparently a bit louder than his music.   “What happened!?”I asked, frantically looking around.   “I dropped it!” Ditzy said back, sitting in front of the laser screwdriver.   “Oh, thank god.” I breathed a sigh of relief, “I thought you were hurt.” I said, picking up the screwdriver, “It seems to be all in one piece.”     “How?” Ditzy asked, “I dropped it from the clouds!”     I looked at her with the straightest face I could muster, “It only broke severally from an explosion from a gap in time-space, and you honestly think a little fall would smash it?” I ask, sending a small signal through the device, only to hear it fade in and out. “Well, that’s not supposed to happen.” Ditzy looks like she’s on the verge of making a break for it, probably scared to death of what I’d do to her. “Seems a couple of the lens broke...” I said, looking it over for anything else.     ‘And this is what you get for letting her play with something far beyond her understanding.’ The Master mentally scorns, ‘The thing’s only got a fraction of a fraction of its energy output, probably only good for scanning and opening locks at this point…’. I let out a sigh as he ends his rant. “Well, it seems it’s about as useful as a sonic, probably less.” I said, the Master scoffing in my head.     “Sorry...” she apologized, avoiding eye contact, her ears flat against her head and her tail wrapped around her front.     “Hey, honest mistake, don’t sweat it.” I said, putting the device away, “Just remember next time that just because you can stand on clouds, doesn’t mean everything can.”     Ditzy visibly loosened, her body not so tightly locked together, though she was still quiet.     “Well, back to trav-” I stopped mid-sentence as I just realized something, “Oh well this is just bloody fantastic...”   “Oh, now what?” Ditzy finally spoke up.   “I can’t drive now...” I grumble.   “Oh.” She said, looking guilty, but suddenly started to grin.   “And what’s got you so happy?” I ask, an eyebrow raised.   Ditzy pulls out her laptop from the backseat,  “Name a style of music.” she said, “I’m waking up your brother.”   “Alright...” I said, thinking, “classical dubstep.”   “I was thinking something on the heavy end of Futurepop,” she said, starting up something on screen, “but I can work with that.”   “I’m... not familiar with the genre...” I said, curious.   “Noone much is.” she replies, pausing for a moment, “I have an idea.”   “Alright, let me guess,” I started, raising my hoof “you’re going to change his music to startle him awake.”   Ditzy just sat there with a goofy looking grin. I smirk at her for her little prank, not to mention how adorable it looks, seeing a pony smiling like that.   “Go for it.” I said, agreeing to go along with it.   “Should I be nice?” she mockingly said, putting a hoof on her chin, pausing, “Of course not.”   I snuck over to Tyler, carefully taking his phone from his pocket , pausing the music and unplugging the headphone jack. I held it out to Ditzy, nodding.   Ditzy takes the jack in her hoof and messes around with her computer a bit before plugging it in. “Any requests?” she asked, “or just go for ‘loud with lots of drum?’”   I could feel the Master shake at the phrase ‘lots of drums’, reminding me of my own as well, “How about something that starts nice and quiet, then explodes with sound?” I suggested.   “Hmm... Doable.” she said, looking at the laptop, “I think I’ve got one...” She is quiet for a bit before she grins again, “Yeah, Epicentre will do nicely...”   I just nod again , waiting.   Ditzy clicks a button, the music starting, and I hear it clearly. I then waited for the song to to shift.   The song suddenly became loud, Tyler jumping slightly, almost out of his seat.    “Gah, what the hell?” he said, looking around and saw us, laughing, Ditzy more so than myself. He stepped out of the car, looking between us, the headphones out of his ears. “Seriously, that’s how you wake me up?” he asked, groaning slightly, “What do you want, anyway?”   “I kind of broke his laser.” Ditzy admitted, “That means he can’t drive, and I never got a licence.”   “And? What do you want me to do?” he continued his line of question, “I can’t drive either.”   “Which is why I’m going to have to teach you.” I added in, Tyler looking at me somberly.   “...You can’t be serious.” he said after a short silence.   ”Oh, I am, it’s either that, or we walk, your choice.” I stated, knowing full well he would give in. Tyler folded his arms at me, still quiet for a bit.   “Fine...” he said, “but if we crash, you’re paying for medical bills and repairs.”   “Understood,” I said, nodding, “now get in the driver’s seat, this might take a while.” **** **** **** ****   A few hours have passed, it’s nearing midnight, but thanks to a few Monster energy drinks, Tyler is wide awake.   “Alright, I think I got this.” Tyler said, pulling the car back onto the side of the road and I look in the back seat to see Ditzy sleeping before I turned back to Tyler   ”Alright,” I said, fishing into my collar, “you’ll also need this.” I said, finally getting out the psychic paper and showing it him.   Tyler looked at it for a bit, “Okay... why?” he asked, taking it.   ”The most real fake ID ever.” I said, a bit of smugness in my voice.   “Really?” he asked, looking from it to me, “it can do that? How?”   I took it back to show him, “Just get a clear image in your head, you have to want it to be real.” I said, an image of my current self and him in a group hug with our father.   “Wow...” he he said, taking the paper back into his hand, looking at the image, “That easy, huh?”   At that moment, I heard shifting in the back, “Where are we?” Ditzy asked tiredly.   ”Side of the road, few dozen miles from where we started.” I answered, looking at her.   “Shane just gave me the psychic paper for a fake ID.” Tyler bragged, waving said paper around a bit.   “Could I see that?” Ditzy asked, sitting up. Tyler then started to hand it back to her, before I put a foreleg on his arm.   “Please do be careful with this,” I said, still looking at Ditzy, “we kinda need it at this point.”   “Sorry about the screwdriver...” she said, shrinking slightly.   “It’s fine,” I told her, “I just don’t want our last resort to fail, alright?”   “Yeah, probably a good idea.” she replied.   Tyler then handed Ditzy the paper, “Like he told me,” he said, “ just want it to appear.”   Ditzy took hold of it carefully, looking at it, “Huh, plans for a national high speed rail system.” she said before she paused, “No, a news article reporting on the fact that Derpy’s fine...”   ”Interesting...” I said, observing the dual reaction.   “Two minds, you know.” she quipped.   “Yes, it seems the paper is picking up both brainwave patterns and is simultaneously showing each.” I said, thinking of the possible applications, ”Hmm...”   ”Shane, stop,” Tyler said, looking at me, “you’re going science-y.”   “I like science.” Ditzy said defensively.   “Yeah,” Tyler said, “but yours isn’t being influenced by an insane timelord horse.”   “Insanity is a major part of the Time Lord experience.” she continued.   “Right...” Tyler said, rolling his eyes. “That’s why the Doctor is hell bent on destroying the universe, right?”   “Insanity can be harmless!” Ditzy suddenly shouted, “Tell me about how Eleven is perfectly and completely sane!”   I waved a hoof between them, hoping to end the conversation, “Right, if we could get off the topic of insanity,” I interjected, “I think we have somewhere to be?”   “Right...” Tyler said,getting back in the seat proper, starting to drive down the road.   “Oh yeah, the meeting.” Ditzy said, starting up her laptop, “How is Santorini not dead?” she asked. ”Oh, that?” I said, looking back at her, “I gave it a quick charge when I added the wi-fi, just a little fix up.” “That, right there, is quite handy.” she replied, “A laptop with decent internet everywhere and a full battery.” “Well, couldn’t let that kind of tech go to waste,” I said, “laser screwdriver and all.” ”Whoa, what?” Tyler suddenly interrupted, stopping the car to look at the two of us, “You gave her an ultimate connection and didn’t tell me?”   “Sorry about that-” Ditzy apologized before pausing, “I never did get your name.”   “It’s Tyler, Tyler Denton,” he stated, before looking at me, ”and why didn’t you hook me up with a phone that could do that?” he asked, offended, “What, am I not pony enough for you?” He instantly facepalmed after saying that, “Great, I just used pony as an adjective...”   “I’ve used pony as a verb before.” Ditzy said, “God, I have no life...”   ”At this point, it really doesn’t matter.” I said, looking at Tyler, “Now, onward, dear driver, to Kansas.”