"Daaaaaaaaaddy?" Diamond Tiara whined her usual plead as she entered her father's study. She looked rather nervous, and for one of the only times in her life was just beginning to admit to herself that she had no idea what she was doing. And this wasn't one of those times where she could cheat off of Silver Spoon like in Biology.
"Yes, Tiara?" Came the reply, her father looking up from behind a large scale balanced with several bits, a roll of parchment stretching all the way to the floor. "Make it quick, I'm in the middle of my budget."
"Daddy, I really don't know anything about taking care of hedgehogs. Are you sure we can't return it for something easy? Like a turtle? Rainbow Dash has a turtle, and she hardly ever even plays with it."
Filthy Rich sighed. "I'm not helping you on this one, Diamond Tiara. You need to learn responsibility, and you can't do that with my telling you what to do. If you need help, I suggest you go to Palomino Royale."
Tiara looked horrified. "The LIBRARY?" She gasped. It had been a few months since the Ponyville Library re-opened under a new name, following Twilight Sparkles departure from her position as librarian and a significant expansion. "I can't do that, it's filled with dust! And books! That I'd actually have to read!"
"Better get started then," Filthy Rich said, and went back to his work. Diamond protested, but got no more attention from him. Returning to her room in disgust, she approached Russell, who sat patiently on her bed.
"Well?" He asked. He had been listening on the conversation, and although he didn't take kindly to being referred to as an 'it', he remained silent on the matter.
"We have to go to the Library." She complained. "Why can't you just take care of yourself, and we call it even?"
Russell shrugged. "Because that would mean lying to your father, and lying is wrong. Besides, I do take care of myself, to a certain degree. But the contract of ownership indicates that while I am primarily to take care of myself under periods of extreme stress, you are, for the most part, the caregiver. And I'm not to give you anymore help than that. You need to earn to rely on yourself instead of others. Life doesn't work like that."
Diamond sighed. "The library it is then." Russell saluted her, and leaped onto her shoulder.
"Hi-ho, Silver, away!"
Diamond glared at him.
***
Ponyville Library, while once occupying a large tree, had since become too large for a single tree. Much to Twilight's dismay, the tree had been torn down, and replaced with a fancier, high quality building. Although against the decision, Twilight recognized the importance of education over nostalgia, and allowed the renovation. The Palomino Royale Library had opened several months prior to the current date, and had at least quadrupled the storage space of the tree.
With the hedgehog on her back, Diamond Tiara entered the library for the first time in her life. After snobbishly refusing help from a kindly old pony behind the desk, she made her way to the second floor.
"Maybe we should ask for help," Russell offered. "There's no shame in that."
"I can manage just fine on my own, tha-" Diamond Tiara turned the corner, and collided with a very familiar pony. It took a moment for her to realize just who she'd bumped into. "You!" She exclaimed.
"Me!" Pinkie Pie echoed. "Hi!"
"But... I thought you were in Canterot..." Diamond said.
"I am!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"No. You're here." Diamond sounded annoyed. "You can't be in two places at once."
"Sure I can! When I'm there, I'm not here. And when I'm here, I'm not there. Easy peasy!" Pinkie reached down and picked up the books she'd knocked off the shelf. "I should be getting back there though, here's your books on hedgehoggery!"
Diamond blinked. "But... how did... never mind!" She snatched the books. "Thanks, I guess."
"You're welcome!" Pinkie said, and bounced away.
"Is she always like that?" Russell asked. It was his first encounter with the party pony, who, although a few years older, was the same as she had always been.
"Pretty much." Diamond said, and sat down at a table. Russell jumped from her shoulder onto the table, and Diamond opened several books.
Step I: Find out what your pet likes to eat.
Tiara looked at Russell, then flipped through the second book. "This is awful these books are filled with dust." She sneezed.
"Bless you," Russell said.
Tiara ignored him. "Here. Diet. Insects, snails, snakes... eggs... carrio... I think I'm going to be sick..." She looked ill.
Russell grinned sheepishly. "Just because I CAN eat that stuff doesn't mean I want to. I'm civilized, you know. I can get by just fine on grasses and berries and fruits."
Diamond looked relieved. "Thank Celestia for that, I have imported produce from Coltifornia downstairs in the house. We can start with those." She turned the page.
Step II: Be sure to give your pet regular baths.
Once more, Diamond Tiara looked at Russell. "Seriously?"
"I do like baths," Russell said cheerfully. "Tell me, what exactly is the purpose of a rubber duck?" He gave a pleasant smile. "They're ever so much fun to play with, but I never quite did figure that out."
Tiara facehooved. "I suppose." She said, turning the page.
Step III: Be sure to take your pet to the vet to make sure its healthy.
Diamond Tiara slammed the book shut. "This is really becoming time consuming. Why am I bothering with this?"
"Because if you don't, you'll end up at the Academy," Russell countered. Diamond Tiara shuddered at the very thought of it.
"Do you even WANT to go to the vet?" Diamond asked.
"Of course not. But it's necessary. And oftentimes we are required, in our ongoing quest to better ourselves, to do things that are unpleasant."
"Let's just go, we'll figure things out on the way. It's not like I have anything else to do." She had cancelled a tennis match with Silver Spoon, not in any mood to talk to her after Silver had gone running off to her father. She was still steamed about that.
"That's the spirit!" Russell said encouragingly.
***
The vet was crowded, and Diamond Tiara was in a sullen mood. She'd been waiting for almost an hour. "This is absolutely ridiculous, my father is one of the wealthiest ponies in Ponyville, and here I'm stuck in a crowded room with commoners."
"Patience is a virtue," Russell reminded her.
"You should get a job writing for fortune cookies," Diamond snapped.
The door opened at last, and a kindly young stallion in a white coat stepped through the door.
"Diamond Tiara and Russell?" He asked.
Tiara rose, approaching the door. "About time, I've been waiting forever."
The stallion just smiled at her. "All things in due time. I'm the doctor, right this way."
***
DIAMOND TIARA AND RUSSELL WILL RETURN IN...
DR. NEIGH!
***