As I lay under the infinite stars, shooting the breeze with two of the few Equestrians I had learned to trust, I found my gaze constantly returning to Lyra. We were kidding around with each other, having a good time, but there was something that just seemed... off... with her.
Even when she wasn’t speaking, whether Deluge was telling a story about Ruckus or I was telling some of the less important details of my life, I couldn’t help but to search her for what I’d been thinking of the entire night.
Pain.
In every movement, whether she tried to seem fluid or not, there was a bone-weariness about her. When she tried to speak with a laugh about her past or her friends, I heard the tears underneath. Whether she was watching the fire or Deluge, I saw an inward-facing hate that was all too familiar. And I realized it was because she was in my presence.
But the few times she made eye contact with me were the worst.
She would try to avoid my gaze, looking at the stars, the trees, the fire, Deluge. Even my shirt, if nothing else presented itself. Anything but back into my eyes.
Because when she did, it was like looking in my reflection. Instead of bone-weariness, there was some sort of mixture between pity, self-hatred, and pure hurt. The same eyes that had looked back at me from the mirror for years.
Whenever I considered my past, whenever I thought about my family and what they were doing, that was the exact emotional cocktail that swam in the depths of my irises.
And it hurt me to think that I was the cause of it, to think that anyone else had to hurt like I did inside.
I could be funny, I could laugh, I could act sillier than anyone else in the entire world, because it let me forget my pain. The pain that I had been unable to exorcise through years of soul searching, thought exercises, or even at one point, counseling.
The pain that no one else deserved to go through.
It ate at me for the few minutes that we had been joking around, and I was contemplating how I should approach her about it when suddenly Lyra spoke up.
“Listen, Creed, I think you should know… We decided on a plan of attack.”
My face fell for only a second before I once again composed myself. “...And?” I asked, trying to seem relaxed about it. No need to make Lyra feel any worse about me than she already did.
“Well, we decided to take your advice, at least partially. You and Deluge are going to burrow under the Detention Hall, and free Rainbow Dash, Flotilla, and Armada.”
As I was about to scream my joy, and visions of pony/Diamond Dog hugs filled my head, Lyra held up a hoof.
“However,” she continued, “There’s more: we’re sending Bon Bon with you, to act as backup. Before you argue, she’s the best fighter we have, and of anypony besides Twilight, she’d best be able to help you.”
I let out the pent-up air in a confused half whistle. “Where are you and Twilight going to be?” I asked, not understanding what they were planning on doing if I was taking care of Nahor and the other prisoners. “Bon Bon, though, I might just have to find a way to leave behind,” I thought to myself.
“We’re going to be in the town proper, defending ourselves and the others if need be from the Diamond Dogs, and drawing them away from you,” Lyra said confidently. There was a hint of steel that flashed in her eyes, telling me there’d be no point in arguing. But at least she lacked the pain within her as she said it.
Deluge spoke up quickly. “Before you get mad, almost all of the Diamond Dogs are going to be at the gates trying to drive away the forest animals. That way, they won’t have the Nuckelavee whispering in their ear, they’ll be pressed from both sides, and they’ll have an entire pack telling them that standing down is the right idea.”
I immediately recognized my idea, and started rubbing my chin. “So, you’re keeping Fluttershy’s part of Operation: Cool Hoof Creed, huh?” I chuckled nervously. “That was only supposed to be a reason for the Diamond Dogs to surrender after I left for Canterlot.”
“And not for a distraction while rambunctious ponies and Diamond Dogs start coming out of the ground like a bunch of crazy meerkats,” I thought curtly to myself.
Lyra shrugged. “I really did try to take your advice and limit our potential losses,” she said. “This way, the Diamond Dogs will have no choice to surrender. Those few that do choose to fight, if there are any, won’t be able to hurt anypony with Twilight, an entire new pack, and I there to deter them.”
I knew she was dead-set, and sighed. “I guess there’s no way I can fight this, is there?” I mumbled.
“Of course you can fight it,” Lyra tried comforting me. “Just fight on our side. Take the Nuckelavee out of the picture as soon as possible. If you can do that, then we’ve won.”
When the green pony made sense, she made sense. I nodded accordingly. “Alright, I guess that’s fair. Do Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, along with that whole pack of Diamond dogs, know yet?”
Deluge nodded. “We sent a runner over there with the full battle plans as soon as we drafted them. You were the last part of the plan that didn’t know.”
“This sort of thing’s going to take some serious training if we want to do it right. When’s the attack scheduled?” I asked, getting down to business. I’d played football, I’d wrestled, I knew what it took to get a team in the right mental state!
I could even give them tips on takedowns! Or pinning moves! Or tackles! Or- wait, why are they cringing?
“That’s the thing… uh, it’s happening at dawn tomorrow,” Lyra said with a weak smile.
“Oh… oh wow…” I said, placing my hand over his heart to alleviate the pain I felt flair there, and taking deep breaths. “It’s… heh… a good thing I’m not back in the tunnels right now, or I’d have another panic attack!”
“’Another’?” Lyra and Deluge asked at the same time, apparently worried.
“Yeah, yeah, had one on the way out earlier. Sorry, didn’t seem like a conversational piece that would come up,” I gasped through my deep breaths, and smiling as wide as I could. Hopefully, the whistling between my teeth as I continued to breathe hard wouldn’t alarm them. “Nothing to worry about. Just some breathing exercises and I’m good as new.”
“You, uh… You’re not going to have a panic attack while we’re tunneling in, are you?” Deluge asked, her eyes wide.
“Nah, I’ll just take some deep breaths before we go in,” I told her. “But honestly, what the hell are the two of you doing out here right now? If this thing is going down in-” I pulled out my iPod to check the time “-nine hours, you both need to be in there getting all those Diamond Dogs and ponies ready! Go on, shoo!”
With that, I stood and ushered them from my incredibly well-built and functional and totally-not-at-all-based-on-my-father’s-layout campfire.
Getting them through the short walk was like herding freakin’ cats, and I told them so. I may have also mentioned that cats were probably more responsive and less prone to backsass, but I’m not sure they heard that muttered addition.
Although I tried to make it silly, and fun, and was actually enjoying myself, each time Lyra looked at me I still saw that pain. That damn pain that wouldn’t go away. As we came within sight of the tunnel entrance, I came to a realization- if she didn’t get this thing off her chest (is that even the correct term for a pony?) then she would be too distracted to function optimally the next day.
So, as Deluge reached the tunnel entrance, I stepped in front of Lyra and dropped to one knee. Grabbing her tightly in a hug, I leaned in to whisper in her ear.
“I know what you did to me. And I know that it hurts you- every important decision in life hurts. But you don’t have to hurt... Please don’t hurt. Not like I do.”
She threw her forelegs over my shoulders, pressing her head into my neck. “I know it was the right decision, but... You were so alone, so broken when I found you, I blame-”
I cut her off immediately, and heard the echoes of Deluge’s paws die away. I knew we were short on time. “Don’t blame yourself for my shortcomings,” I whispered. “I forgive you; whatever you do, I’ll forgive you.”
It was the only thing I could think to say. But it was entirely true.
A shudder ran through her, and she took a deep breath. Giving her another quick squeeze, I stood and turned toward the tunnel. I saw Deluge standing there, looking- what, longingly?- at us.
Bah, probably my imagination.
“Be safe, Deluge! I’ll be back before we start!” I called. I think she nodded, but I couldn’t be entirely sure.
Satisfied, I turned and sprinted back toward the campfire. I knew there was plenty of work to be done, and not much time to do it.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
After stopping briefly at my totally original campfire, I was on my way to visit what I dubbed in my head the “First Army”. They were to provide the Second Meerkat Brigade, a diversion, apparently, seeing as how the ponies like to plagiarize brilliant ideas.
I’ll leave it up to others to figure out where the Second Meerkat Brigade gets its name.
I made good time to my POEE (Point Of Equestria Entry, duh!), only taking a fraction of the time to get there when compared to the romp through the woods Deluge provided.
As I emerged from the bushes, I was surprised at just how many of the Diamond Dogs were wide awake. They were shuffling around, talking quietly, gathered around campfires spotting the clearing.
What was even more surprising, though, was the amount of animals there were in the clearing. They tended to shy away from the campfires a bit more than the Diamond Dogs, choosing instead to cluster around the tree in the clearing’s center.
”I wonder where Fluttershy is?” I thought sarcastically before beginning the long and twisting path into the countless bodies.
There was every kind of Diamond Dogs in attendance, and they all greeted me warmly. I found out, after several heart slaps on the back and several Dogs shouting praise, that they had taken to calling me “Cliffs”.
Not the only nickname I’d received in my life, but hey- at least it wasn’t the worst. And there were quite a few I’d like to forget, thank you very much.
After being bogged down by the cheery Diamond Dogs, I spotted Fluttershy. She was flying around the animals at about my head’s height, tending to last minute aches and pains and providing words of encouragement.
I have to say, from a medical standpoint, I was impressed. She ran through the endless list of animals- everything from bears and bobcats to bunnies and singing birds- with a professionalism and authoritative tone I didn’t expect.
On the other hand, how she remembered every single one of their names and ailments without pause was something that simply baffled me.
As I approached, she was working on a certain bear’s stiff neck issues.
“You know, if you didn’t keep falling out of trees while searching for honey, you probably wouldn’t have neck problems,” she berated him softly.
He groaned in response, allowing his neck to be kinked and moved as Fluttershy saw fit.
“If I’ve learned one thing from my medical psychology classes, it’s that patients will generally continue to do whatever they freakin’ please whether or not you give them good advice,” I told her flat-out.
Fluttershy squeaked, immediately diving behind the bear. Who started to growl, a deep rumbling sound that scared the everliving hell out me.
That is, until I remembered that I had access to badassedry much further than a simple bear could handle.
“Oh, give it a rest Fluffle Puff, I just want to talk to Fluttershy,” I giggled. It was fun in an adrenaline-pumping sort of way to make light of something that could, under normal circumstances, kill me.
Fluttershy’s head popped out from behind the bear, and after giving me the once over, she let a small smile creep onto her face.
“Oh... hello there, Creed,” she said softly. “I, uh- that is, we didn’t- I mean, oh goodness...”
The bear gave an encouraging pat over its shoulder, apparently rumbling some words of encouragement.
“Thank you, Harry,” Fluttershy smiled broadly, taking a deep breath before starting again. “Sorry Creed, I, uh, still haven’t gotten... completely... used to your new form yet.”
I glanced down in surprise. New form?..... Oh, right, she met me in pony mode.
Looking back up, I waved away the apology with one hand. “Don’t mention it, Fluttershy. I see you’ve got your animal friends here, that’s very good! How are you guys doing mentally, getting ready for this distraction thing tomorrow morning?”
She fluttered (heh) up and over the bear- excuse me, Harry’s- shoulder, and drifted to the ground in front of me.
“We’re doing well... That is... As well as I think we could be doing,” she told me, starting to move towards the tree. I followed behind her, weaving my way through the close-knit bunch of animals that parted oh so nicely for her.
“Meaning what?” I asked, making my way around a particularly grumpy looking Diamond Dogs who was letting a bunch of baby bunnies play with his tail.
“Meaning... um...” Fluttershy waited until I caught up to her at the tree before speaking in (more) hushed tones. “We’ve never gone to war, Creed. We’ve never been a-a ‘Distraction’. I have no idea what it’s supposed to be like the night before... well, that!”
I nodded solemnly, bending over to pick her up. She gave a small noise as I lifted her into the tree, but didn’t seem to uncomfortable. Which was good, because she had some hard things to hear.
“Listen Fluttershy, I’m proud of you,” I said honestly.
I could tell that caught her off guard by the way she gave me a double take, and one eyebrow raised. “M-me? What have I done?” she asked quietly.
“You picked yourself up from those chains in Ponyville just like I asked you to,” I told her. “You worked through your issues, and now you’re helping to organize one of the biggest semi-military operations I’m guessing Equestria has ever seen. Am I right?”
She looked away, her hair falling to cover one of her eyes, but I saw the smile returning. “Well... yes...” she said hesitantly.
“Exactly!” I proclaimed, crossing my arms. “Which is more than can be said about anypony I know! Look around us!”
She did so, asking after a time, “What... what am I looking for, exactly?”
I shook my head, sighing. “No, you’re not looking for anything. You’re looking [at the animals that you brought here singlehandedly- er, singlehoofedly? Y’know what, screw it, singlehandedly sounds better. Anyway, nopony else could have done this! Thanks to you, we have a chance to save everypony you know!”
I stepped closer to the tree, and opened my arms. “So... congratulatory hug?” I asked expectantly.
She nodded, and shuffled forward into my arms. ”And that’s why she’s best pony, haters,” I sighed inwardly, relishing the feeling of her ever so soft fur. Seriously, she must shampoo and conditioner the crap outta that stuff, as well as her hair! Their color was so bright, even for technicolor! The yellow and pink-
Wait.
I released Fluttershy and stepped back, on alert.
“Wh-what is it, Creed?” she asked, looking around in fear.
“Where. Is. Pinkie,” I asked, crouching low so she couldn’t get the jump on me.
Fluttershy’s eyebrows came together, and she shook her head. “I have no idea,” she said in a confused tone. “She was here when I started making my rounds of the critters. I... I think she was saying something about music, but-”
And she was cut off by a whistling sound as Pinkie Pie dove from the top of the tree to collide with my body in an unpleasant way.
“And I’m gunna get ‘em in the fighting mood!” she cried from on top of me, with what I think was blue war paint covering two thirds of her face. In an exact replica of Mel Gibson from “Braveheart”.
Which I hadn’t realized until that moment was on my iPod. The same one Pinkie had spent days studying.
She stood on my chest, rising to her hind legs, and began to bellow in a surprisingly good Scottish accent. “I AM Pinkamena Diane Pie!” she cried. What chatter there was around the camp quieted, and everyone stared at the pink horse standing on my chest. As for myself, I looked on in a mix of horror and morbid fascination.
“End I see a whole army of my countryponies, here in defiance of tyranneh. Ye’ve come to fight as free ponies- er, animals... and free animals you are!What will you do with that freedom? Will you FIGHT?!”
A rousing cheer came up from the encampment, critters and Diamond Dogs alike. I decided to let her continue, as long as it didn’t get out of hand... besides, the way she raised and lowered during her speech as I took breaths was kinda funny.
“Eh... gotta skip a bit... you weren’t supposed to agree there...” she said, thinking for a second before her head snapped back up. “Okie dokie- Dying in yer beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance- JUST ONE CHANCE- to come back here, and tell our enemies- that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take... OUR FREEDOM!”
The cheer that went up was positively deafening, and Pinkie gave a cry along with them. I think she also shouted, “Alba gu bra!” but I couldn’t tell.
When the cheering started to die down, Pinkie continued. “ALRIGHT! Now, since you’re all in the mood, let’s get some music going!”
With that, she dropped off my chest and galloped back to the tree. Pulling some items from a hole I didn’t realize was there, she soon had her full one-man band setup spread out, along with what I recognized as my guitar!
Getting up to one knee, I was knocked over by some animals rushing past to take their place at the instruments. I stood up quickly and defensively, wary for any other pushers, but was soon enraptured by the sight of Pinkie standing in front of the impromptu band getting ready to sing.
There was a bobcat on the drum, a bird on the cymbals, and a small Diamond Dogs sitting next to my guitar. As the bass came in, the cymbals started sounding off, and the Diamond Dogs started strumming simple chords, I realized exactly what song they were doing.
The color drained from my face as Pinkie sang out, “Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, sex is a texas drought. Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about. So put your hands down my pants, and I bet you’ll feel nuts!”
The opening lines to the Bloodhound Gang’s “The Bad Touch”. A song purely about innuendos. And a music video about monkey suited men abducting people.
“NO!” I cried, trying to break from the crowd as fast as possible. Pinkie continued singing loudly, and my vision tunneled to focus on her as she danced away from me.
She had just reached the chorus when I snatched her up, clamping a hand on her mouth. Breathing heavily, I turned to see the entire crowd giving me an odd look.
“We all adults here!” one Diamond Dog shouted from the back, and I heard rumblings of agreement. Those animals up front nodded, and those at the back agreed vocally.
I guess they had enjoyed the song?!
Looking at Pinkie Pie, and seeing her giving me the biggest puppy dog eyes ever, I made up my mind. “Ok Pinkie, I’ll let you keep putting on this... concert if you make me one promise.”
She nodded ecstatically, making noises that were muffled by my hand- yet she continued on like she was having a conversation all her own. Apparently she asked my opinion on something, because she stopped making noises and her eyebrows went high.
“Um... I have no idea what you just said,” I told her honestly.
She rolled her eyes, then licked my hand. I immediately let go, crying out in disgust, and she dropped the short distance to the ground.
“What is it what is it what is it?” she asked sweetly, giving me the puppy dog eyes once again. “Just tell me so I can agree so I can go back to singing and dancing and making everypony happy with the party!”
I sighed. “At least... make them songs that’ll get... uh... all the animals ready for tomorrow. And for God’s sake, keep it PG, ok?”
She cheered, jumped up to give me a crushing hug around the neck, and then leapt from my upper body back to her spot in front of the band.
Glancing back, she said, “Alright fellas, we’re cutting tracks One, Two, Four, Seventeen, and everything past Twenty-Six. Got it?”
”How many damn songs did she learn?!”
They nodded, then launched into an amazing rendition of “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down. I was honestly blown away just how well the song fit, as I gazed around the site.
The Diamond Dogs, the animals, and even a few stray ponies I hadn’t noticed before, were simply citizens of Equestria being called into action in defense of their fellows. As far as I could remember, the song was about the common man becoming a hero in service of their country; not too far off in this case.
Also, Pinkie Pie had an incredible voice. The way it combined with the acoustics of my guitar in the originally hard(er) rock song was amazing. Though I wasn’t too sure how well the line “the strongest among you may not wear a crown!” Would go down with the Princesses...
Stepping around Pinkie as she launched into the next song, I stopped when I heard the lines. ”This is a song... for the ladies. But fellas... listen closely. You don’t always have to fu-”
“Pinkie!” I reprimanded her. “You’re NOT going to sing Tenacious D! Especially not F... Not that one!”
“Oh, fine... Party pooper.”
Instead, she started singing Skillet’s ”Monster”. Which blew me away, considering how well the acoustic guitar managed to keep up with the guttural sounds found in the song. Perhaps some day, I could be as good at guitar as a Diamond Dog in a little girl show in another dimension who had practiced for a few weeks while I was being tortured....
“Aaaand that’s the point where context really DOES matter,” I thought to myself, shaking my head.
Continuing on my way once I was satisfied Pinkie wasn’t going to attempt to sneak in singing an inappropriate song against my wishes, I mosied on over to Fluttershy.
“So, how long has Pinkie Pie had my guitar?” I asked her nonchalantly, leaning up against the tree with one arm and kicking on foot over the other. “And what gave her the idea?”
“Well... um... You weren’t here for a few weeks- which you probably knew... but, uh, Pinkie got bored just listening to your music and movies, so she, um, started to... reenact them.”
Looking back briefly at the first human-like band in Equestria, I smiled. “Well, at least she’s good at it!” I joked, swaying to the music. She was genuinely good with those songs!
Fluttershy nodded her agreement, watching her rock the casbah. We sat together, listening to a few more of the songs that Pinkie had pulled from my iPod. There was stuff from Aerosmith, Three Days Grace, David Bowie, the Eagles, and even a P!nk song.
What? Screw you, I’m allowed one guilty pleasure!
Finally, I decided it was time to get down to the issues at hand.
“Alright, so... battle plan. What is it?” I asked her, turning away from the spectacle that was Pinkie Pie. “And please, for my sake, try to be a little more assertive when you’re talking about something. Otherwise, we’re going to be here all night while you stutter and mumble your way through a sentence. Not that it’s not completely and utterly adorable,” I said, holding up a hand, “because it is. But we have some important issues to get through in much less time than I’d like.”
She nodded, taking a breath to compose herself, then started. “Ok, our plan... Our plan is to come out of the woods on the eastern side of Ponyville, and make a big commotion.... that is, um, hitting the walls, throwing things, and looking super scary. Then, when Spike lets up his dragon’s breath, we can stop because the Diamond Dogs surrendered, and you’ve saved Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and those military people.”
“Righto!” I responded, fairly happy with what she had told me. “That’s exactly what I’d had planned before! Now, are these all the animals and reinforcements that are going to help?”
She thought for a moment with one hoof on her chin before shaking her head. “Um, no, there are some more families that are going to join us before the morning.”
I waited a moment, but she just stared at me without elaborating. “Ok,” I said, sighing, “I guess I’ll give the prompt. What ‘families’ would those be?”
She looked upwards, her eyes scrunching as she tried to remember. “Well, there’s the Tyra family, a few Phoenix families from out in the forest... Oh, Manny Roar, Mr. Sassy, and some ladies from Bertha Banshee’s family.... and then Steven Magnet sent his apologies, since he can’t leave his river, but promised to be on the lookout for... well, reinforcements.”
I held up a hand, a little confused. “Alright, who are the Tyra family, Manny Roar, Mr. Sassy, and Bertha Banshee? And isn’t Steven Magnet that sea serpent with the moustache?”
She nodded. “Tyra is short for Tyrannosaur, there’s Tina Tyra herself, her husband Mr. Tyra, and their daughter Therese.” I had no idea just how big a tyrannosaur family would be in Equestria, but if they were anything like the ones back home, the Diamond Dogs were going to be in for it!
“Manny Roar is a really sweet manticore. I helped pull a thorn out of his paw when we were trying to stop Nightmare Moon, and now he visits me from time to time with snacks, or goes to help Zecora with some of her potions.” I scoffed, muttering, “Aesop’s Fables takeoff much?”
“Mr. Sassy, that’s short for Sasquatch, he’s a big guy like you but with more hair and roaring. He’s fun to play hide and seek with since he can climb trees! And Bertha is... well... a Banshee. But don’t worry, she’s one of the nice ones! She and her family promise not to yell too loudly and scare away all my other animal friends tomorrow.”
She gave a happy smile, and I’m amazed my eyes didn’t bulge out of my head. What was meant to be a simple distraction was turning out to be a fully fledged attack!
“And, um... how exactly did you get into contact with all of these- er, individuals?” I asked. Was ‘individuals’ even the right term for a mix of extinct and mythological creatures?
“Twilight told me about your plan, so I started visiting everypony I’ve helped in the forest. They were all really nice, and wanted to help get Equestria back from those meanie Nuckelavee. They also said something about ‘dwindling magic’, but, um, none of them could explain what that meant... Sorry.”
I smiled brightly, despite whatever ‘dwindling magic’ the creatures had mentioned. It was probably just something to do with the Nuckelavee and I drawing power out of the natural flow of things.
“Wow! Good job, Fluttershy! You’re doing much more than I expected!” Looking around at the creatures gathered in my clearing, I could honestly say I wouldn’t be surprised if the Diamond Dogs dropped the doors to Ponyville before Twilight and Lyra even started popping up out of the ground!
She smiled, embarrassed, and looked away. “Well, you know, I wanted to help as much as I could... since you helped me when I was feeling down...”
Giving her one more hug for good measure, I told her, “Any time! Just remember, no one can make you feel down unless you let them, and no one can make you give up that frown except you!”
“Um... is that another one of your songs?” she asked, still smiling as we embraced.
“Nope!” I responded, letting her go. “At least... I don’t think so... well, I’ll be honest, it’s probably one line from a song somewhere. You know what they say about monkeys and typewriters!”
“N-no. No I don’t,” she told me, confused. “Why would monkeys use these ‘typewriter’ things, and what would happen?”
“Oh, right... uh, there’s this saying that a bunch of monkeys, left alone with mechanical writing devices for long enough, would eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare- that is, one of the greatest playwrights and poets in human history. It’s kind of silly, but statistically speaking, with probabilities and whatnot, true.”
“Why... Why is that a saying?” she asked, still completely perplexed. “And has anypony tried that before?”
I thought about it for a second. “Y’know, I’m not too sure why it’s a saying, to tell you the truth... But, it’s a saying, and it reminds me of home, so I’m sticking with it! And speaking of home, good night!” I turned on my heel and started to march off into the crowd.
“W-wait! Where are you going?” she asked, rising. “Aren’t you staying with us tonight?”
“Nope!” I called back over my shoulder. “Seems like you and Pinkie have everything down pat over here! I’ve got to go get the Second Meerkat Brigade ready!”
“But... but who’s Pat? Or this ‘Second Meerkat Brigade’? Creed!”
I took off through the crowd, content that the Elements of Kindness and Laughter could hold their own when morning came. The Diamond Dogs and ponies in the ‘Great Chamber Cave of Wonderfullness’ place, though, were going to be inside the town proper... and needed much more of my help than they realized, or would even want.
”But hey, when have I ever cared about what other people wanted?” I thought to myself coyly as I started to sprint into the forest. ”I’m just a free spirit... heh... Translation: I do what I want!”
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Lyra knocked politely before hearing a soft “Come in!”
Opening the door, she saw that Bon Bon was still tending to Princess Twilight. They were huddled together, the soup on the bedside dirt outcropping, talking about only Celestia knows what.
“Hey Bon Bon, shouldn’t you be getting ready for tomorrow?” Lyra asked. “I mean, you’re accompanying Creed on the most dangerous part of the entire operation!”
“Yeah, but Twilight here was lonely and hungry. So, I decided to keep her company!” She gave a large, cheesy smile, knowing her old friend couldn’t stay mad at her. After all, they’d known each other since first enrolling in Pony Fu together years ago, and they’d been roommates for barely less time than that!
“Well, I’m here now, so off you go!” Lyra replied. “And that’s Princess Twilight Sparkle to you, Bon Bon!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Lyra, that’s getting annoying. I’ve known you for years, and through you, Bon Bon. I’d much rather you just call me Twilight!”
Bon Bon made her way out of the room, grumbling about her overprotective roommate’s sometimes harsh style of keeping friends.
“When you’re not the only available Princess of Equestria, then I’ll call you Twilight again. Until such a day arises, and I hope it’s soon, then I’ll call you by your given Princess title. Sound fair, Princess?” Lyra asked.
Twilight sighed and nodded her assent, knowing that once her friend had her mind made up, almost no amount of arguing could deviate her from the intent.
“Good!” Lyra smiled cheerily. “Now, I’ve spent the last few hours getting everypony ready. The Diamond Dogs and ponies have been paired up where necessary, they all know their location assignme-”
There was a loud cheering outside, which caused both of the ponies to turn toward the door questioningly. The sound died down into silence once again, however, and didn’t seem like an immediate concern. Shaking her head, Lyra turned back to Twilight to continue speaking.
“As I was saying, they know their assignments, I’ve selected the personal guard that’ll accompany us to where the other Elements are being held, and the rest will make their way toward the eastern gates, where the distraction will be going on. Any questions?”
Twilight scratched her chin. “Where’s Paul? Or I guess you’d know him better as ‘Creed’. I still can’t get used to that name. Isn’t he supposed to be here? Wasn’t Deluge going to go talk to him?”
“Well, he’s off in the forest doing something or other. And yeah, Deluge and I both went out there to talk to him.” Lyra sighed, a little smile taking shape on her face. “He... he found out about, you know... my decision. Deluge probably told him. But... he hugged me, and told me he forgave me before he ran off.”
Twilight smiled, seeing her friend free from the burden of Paul’s mental breakdown. Celestia knew, she had enough to bear without the weight of another’s complete mental instability on her hooves.
“That’s great!” she exclaimed. “And Paul can be very hug-y, yes. How does it make you feel, knowing he’s forgiven you?”
Lyra looked away, her face turning red. “Well, it’s... it’s nice. It’s really nice. I’ve been kinda stressed out with everything going on, and to have him forgive me for that, and being so sweet to me about everything... He’s just really nice to be around.”
Twilight wiggled her eyebrows. “Oooooh, is somepony looking for a potential coltfr-”
A series of resounding boos once again interrupted the pair, and Lyra felt frustration well up. “What the buck is going on out there?” she muttered angrily to herself.
“Let’s go and find out, shall we?” Twilight said happily, ecstatic for an excuse to leave her room.
“Actually, I’d advise against that, Princess,” Lyra said, back to business with her friend. “You need your rest, and-”
“Well, as Princess, I say you’re going to accompany me in an investigation into this cheering outside,” Twilight replied. Hopping up, she made her way to the door.
The smug look she gave Lyra on her way past didn’t go unnoticed, of course.
Throwing her door open with a bit of magic, Twilight made her way into the Great Cavern. Looking around, she saw that there was nopony on the upper level; the cots were bare. Instead, it looked like most of the Diamond Dogs and ponies were gathered in a large circle down on the main floor. There were a few other groups spread out here and there as well, one of which were simply banging their heads up and down, whereas another was full of stick-wielding Diamond Dogs fighting each other.
“This has Creed written all over it,” L:yra muttered, and Twilight couldn’t help but to agree. The whole situation had an ‘interfering monkey’ feel to it, and those sticks looked just too similar to Paul’s beloved ‘Benjamin’ to be coincidental.
Making their way down the steps, they trotted past the two other groupings and up to the large, main one, which was situated adjacent to the entrance. Suddenly, the large crowd parted in front of them, and the two unicorns had to duck as a burly Diamond Dog went flying over their heads to land on some cots.
“And that’s a simple toss for you Diamond Dogs, if you want to get your opponent away from you. Now, if any others of you are manly enough to come up here, I’ll demonstrate the hip toss, which is nice if you don’t want them flyi- oh, hi Twilight! Hey, Lyra!”
The unicorns uncovered their heads and looked up to see Creed standing in the middle of the group, the ring centered on him. He waved cheerily, gesturing to the mostly Diamond Dogs group around him.
“I’m just teaching these pansies how to fight without hurting any of their compatriots in Ponyville!” he said happily, turning quickly and sweeping the legs of one of the other Diamond Dogs who decided it was a good time to attack. The crowd immediately started to boo again, some even throwing insults at Creed.
“See Buck, you were too high, and came in willy-nilly,” Creed said as he lent a hand to the grounded Diamond Dog. “You’re doing better, but you really need to watch your stance. And... I'm really sorry about your parents' choice of names. In this world, it isn't going to get you far.”
Lyra scoffed at the foalish technique; it was one of the first lessons you learned in Pony Fu to keep your center of gravity in check!
Someone in the crowd apparently noticed the derisive snort, and started a chant that slowly built in intensity as it made its way around the circle: “Lyra... Lyra...Lyra! Lyra! Lyra! LYRA! LYRA! LYRA! LYRA! LYRA! LYRA!”
Creed smiled, and beckoned for Lyra to join him. Walking out uncertainly, she looked at the faces of those ringing the area she was apparently going to fight Creed in. They were all eager, giving her smiles and words of encouragement as she went to face the alien.
“Yeah! Beat ‘im up Lyra!”
“To the ground! To the ground!”
“Show stupid human who real pony master is!”
Lyra smiled in an embarrassed way, and looked to Creed. He nodded, smiling, before dropping into his stance. It was much lower than she was used to, even for somepony his size; he was low, his hands held in front of him and one leg back, with his neck scrunched up. It was dissimilar to any fighting technique she had seen before, and she studied him warily.
“Come on Lyra; these guys don’t like me, but none of them have been able to beat me! Show ‘em a thing or two!” Creed called loud enough for everyone in the Great Cavern to hear, and an uproar came as the crowd cheered on Lyra.
She gave a mental shrug, and rushed him. “That’s worked before, he hadn’t even seen it coming an-HOLY CELESTIA!”
Lyra gave a squeal as her momentum was used against her, Creed grabbing her front hooves and throwing her against his hip- resulting in an arc through the air and straight into the dirt behind him, Creed’s hand held firmly against her upper chest.
“And that, everyone, is the hip-toss. Diamond Dogs, that’s for when you’re getting rushed by an adversary and don’t want them getting too far away from you.”
He stood up, letting pressure off of Lyra only when he had moved far enough on his feet.
Lyra shot to her hooves, a little frustrated to have been taken to the ground so easily in front of everypony. This time, she wasn’t going to be running in. Oh, no.
She warily circled Creed as he settled back into his odd stance, and he moved in time with her. Every time she switched direction, so did he. Lyra got frustrated, and shouted, “Why don’t you attack?!”
He grinned. “Because, this is a self-defense seminar. Hopefully, you lot aren’t going to be doing the attacking!”
“But what about the ponies?” she asked. “Aren’t they going to need to know how to defend themselves against Diamond Dogs?”
His shoulders dropped, and he glanced to the side. “You know, I hadnAAH!”
Lyra saw the opportunity and took it, dashing forward like lightning and jumping. In midair, she twisted around one of his outstretched arms, her right hind leg sweeping his and her left hind leg striking him in the chest. At the same time, she grabbed onto his arm with her forelegs, and as he fell, she wrapped both of her hind legs around the base of the ground.
He hit the dirt with a deep THUD, and the surrounding onlookers gave a loud cheer.
Lyra thought she had him; all she had to do was straighten her body, and she could pop his shoulder from its joint. “Give in!” she shouted through clenched teeth, trying to keep his massive arm from curling back in.
His head came up, and he was... smiling? “Unlucky for you,” he growled through his own gritted teeth, “I trained with some wannabe MMA fighters in wrestling.”
With that, he threw his legs around and quickly got to one knee, taking Lyra with him as he stood. She found herself lifted almost six and a half feet into the air- just above Creed’s head- as he supported his one restrained arm with the other.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, and then he dropped. Somehow, he twisted forward so that Lyra would take the entire force of the impact, even throwing in an elbow to where he guessed was the sternum.
For good measure.
Lyra hit the ground, along with the entire weight of a falling Creed. The air burst from her lungs, and her diaphragm started to spasm, causing her to gasp for air without success. The crowd hushed as Creed rose, Lyra’s grip on his arm forgotten.
“I’ve ‘subluxed’, or partially dislocated, this shoulder out three times before,” he said, pointing to the shoulder Lyra had focused on. “And the other one once. The first times came when someone tried an armbar on me, so I kinda learned specifically how to deal with that.”
Looking up, he gestured to Lyra rolling around on the dirt. “And that, class, is what happens when you train specifically for an attack. Granted, your enemies probably won’t have the training Lyra does, but it’s the general idea of the thing that counts. That’s why you’re all here!”
They were quiet, regarding Creed with a bit more wary respect than before. At the very least, the brutality they’d suspected of him was confirmed.
Creed offered a hand to Lyra, which she brushed away. Staggering to her hooves, she was finally able to take deep breaths.
“Y’know, Lyra, you don’t have to continue. I could just have these guys try to attack me again,” Creed said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. “They’ll kinda suck, but hey, it’s their loss!”
Lyra shook her head, taking in and blowing out one final deep breath. “Nope, I’m good. How about you attack me now, like I suggested earlier?”
Creed laughed, patting her on the back. “There’s the fire I like to see in you, Lyra! Alright, one more bout. Then they can practice with each other, followed by some much needed rest. Sound like a deal?”
Lyra looked around at the eager faces, seeing how many had bags under their eyes. “Deal,” she said confidently, returning to her own low stance. “No way am I letting him take me this time,” She thought to herself confidently.
Creed nodded, then dropped into his odd stance once again. However, instead of circling, he made a straight line for Lyra, shuffling his way steadily forward. Reaching out one arm, he batted at her head, trying to gain a hold.
Lyra ducked his swing, and sent a single hoof into his unprotected ribs.
As he snatched his arm back in to hold his side, a pained expression on his face, Lyra danced away. No need to stay within that reach of his, especially when he had those nimble finger to grasp with.
Shaking his head, he let go of his side to once again come forward. Lyra waited patiently until he was within striking distance, then turned quickly to give him a good ol’ fashioned buck to the chest.
Creed was wary of that exact move, though, and easily side-stepped it, grabbing a leg as it shot past. Yanking on his prize, Lyra was lifted off the ground and went sailing past him. He tried to slam her body into the ground midair, but she twisted and lashed out at his exposed underbelly.
He doubled over briefly, Lyra scrambling to her hooves as soon as her body connected with the dirt. Creed immediately straightened though, and laughed despite himself. “You’re really good!” he giggled before dropping into his stance once again, this time with a goofy grin on his face.
“Alright, now practice a nonlethal takedown,” he told her, advancing once again.
She smiled herself, figuring she knew exactly what nonlethal takedown to use. As he neared, he dropped suddenly, diving for one of her legs and making her forget about any predetermined moves. Instead of backing up or falling though, like he expected, she jumped up and came down on his head and shoulders.
Latching onto the spot so far away from his center of gravity, Lyra threw herself violently to the side, dragging Creed’s upper body with her.
As they slammed into the ground, Lyra scrambled to cover his stomach and take out as many points of stability as she could. Chopping at the crook in his left arm, with which he was supporting himself, she managed to bring him entirely to the ground.
Unfortunately for her, ground work was Creed’s best game. Throwing his hip into her and giving himself a brief window of opportunity, Creed rolled flat onto his stomach. When Lyra once again tried to cover him, he got on tip-toe with his left leg, kicking his right leg out through the space and sitting himself up in a manoeuvre known as a ‘sitout’.
Lyra was now pressed into his back, trying to bring him back down, but he was simply too big. Pressing right back into her as he was taught, and using her resistance as an opposing force, Creed tried to stand. However, he was taught and practiced such moves explicitly against opponents who were his own size; Lyra was not, and she simply couldn’t hold the combined force of his body weight and his legs that dug into the ground.
She collapsed under the strain, and Creed fell backwards with her, giving a yelp of surprise as he did so. Lyra managed to scramble out of the way of the falling human, but only just. He landed on his back, and Lyra paused a moment for him to roll once again to his stomach, as he had before.
Not disappointed, she pounced as soon as he started to roll. Kicking out his legs as he tried to stand, she also chopped the one hand he had down on the ground. As he fell, she grabbed at one of his legs, and strained backwards with every bit of force her significantly smaller body could produce. Admittedly, she also used a bit of magic help... but hey, who said she couldn’t?
Leaning back until she was sitting upright and his leg was crooked at a forty five degree angle, Lyra and Creed continued to strain against each other. Creed’s muscles simply couldn’t handle it, though, and his leg gave way under the pressure Lyra placed on it.
She ended up falling against his back, his leg in hoof, to the cheers of every single Diamond Dogs and pony in the Great Cavern.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
I knew that I could keep fighting; throw an elbow back, twist suddenly, even try exploding upwards in a pushup like trick to get her underneath me. I could continue, and maybe even beat her. Badly.
But I didn’t want to.
I heard more than saw what seemed like everybody in the Greatest Cavern Ever cheer, even Twilight. I tapped Lyra to let her know I had given in, and she released my aching leg.
Instead of getting up, though, she lay sprawled out on my back, breathing heavily. Giving my back a pat, she said simply, “Good game, big guy.” But she made no move to get up.
I was breathing hard myself, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. “Oh, don’t give yourself so much credit,” I laughed breathlessly, stretching my arms out in front of me. “I only won one actual wrestling match in my whole career, anyway.”
She giggled too, still taking deep breaths. “Is that where you learned that ridiculous stance?”
“Hey, screw you,” I muttered, only somewhat offended. “It’s a great stance, you didn’t know how to react to it, my center of gravity’s low, and I’m ready for anything!”
“Yeah, yeah, I guess so,” she admitted. “It was definitely fun!”
Then she rolled off my back to plop down next to me. I rolled myself the other way, and saw her face incredibly close to mine- close enough to touch. Her eyes were huge, each one like a smoldering, setting desert sun.. “I could get lost in those eyes,” I thought to myself, gazing at her. “Swimming around in those pools forev- WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?!”
I jumped back, and Lyra’s eyes- which, along with her mouth, were half open- snapped open in surprise. “Wh-what?” she asked, looking around. “What’s wrong, Creed?”
“Nothing!” I responded a little too quickly. “Uh... I mean, nothing’s wrong, Lyra. We just need to let the others practice their moves together before they go to bed tonight.”
One eyebrow raised mischievously. “So... are we going to continue practicing moves together, then?”
I slapped my face so hard it echoed around the Great Stupid Cave. Which still felt strangely off to me.
“Not like that!” I moaned, shaking my head.
She laughed, having a great joke at my expense. I looked around; the crowd had already dispersed around the area to try out their own fighting moves. I looked back at Lyra, and smiled as I offered my hand to help her get up.
To my subdued excitement, I saw no pain in her eyes as she looked straight back at me and accepted my offer.
“Thanks,” she said as I patted the dust from her mint green coat. “You know, for... everything. This preparation-” She gestured around the chamber, “The, uhh... ‘words of encouragement’ earlier. Everything. It... it really helps.”
And she gave me the biggest, warmest, most genuine smile I’d seen from anypony beside Pinkie Pie during my stay in Equestria.
I rubbed her behind the ears briefly, a smile of my own plastered on my face. “No problem, Lyra,” I said before starting to walk forward. “Now, on to business! Can you help with this weaponized training?”
Lyra glanced briefly at the large stick the Diamond Dogs carried, then shook her head. “Nah, I don’t really do sticks. Is that all you were doing while you were gone?”
I scratched my head, embarrassed. “Well, no. I visited the First Army for a while, and found out that Pinkie Pie decided to put on a show to encourage her group. Then, I came back here, picking branches along the way that looked solid enough. I figured I could do some work with them, and Benjamin might like some company! Anyway, when I got here, I kept getting dirty looks.”
I gestured to the head bangin’ group in the corner as Twilight came up to us. “Those Dogs over there were the most receptive of my advice, so I gave them my iPod on my old pregame playlist to get them pumped up.”
I then gestured toward the stick wielders. “These over here were the ones who said they didn’t feel comfortable with hand-to-paw-to-hoof combat. So, I gave them sticks, and told them to figure it out.”
Finally, I indicated the circle of dirt we’d just come from. “Those guys and gals there were the ones who really didn’t like me, so I decided to give them a common enemy to build camaraderie. That common enemy being a stuck-up, brutal, and annoying human.” I shrugged. “Not too far one for me, but hey. And, uh... besides that, nothing.”
As I said the last bit, I mentally kicked myself. Of course I’d done some other things, but I didn’t want to tell them about it!
I saw Lyra and Twilight share a look, and I knew exactly what was coming next.
“No, that’s not all,” Twilight spoke up. “Not only would those activities take less time than you were gone, but you’re pretty bad at lying. So Paul, what else were you doing out in the forest?” She gave me her stern eyes, and Lyra looked at me curiously.
Well... They asked for it.
“Alright, I also may have prayed and eaten a few more woodland creatures. But that’s it!”
Lyra just knitted her eyebrows together, and Twilight reflected her. “But... why would you pray to Celestia?” She asked. “You know there’s nothing she could do for you.”
I shook my head; I’d started down this road, and damnit, I was going to take it all the way.
“No, I wasn’t praying to Celestia. And honestly, I never would. I prayed to a couple of people from back in my world, ok? A couple of people who, hopefully, managed to follow me through that stupid portal in some way.”
Lyra’s eyes softened, and I think she understood what I’d meant. Twilight, on the other hand, only got more interested.
“Obviously nopony followed you through, you would have noticed it!” she told me. “Who could you possibly expect to hear your prayers?”
I flinched, knowing I’d thought that exact same thing earlier. But anything’s worth a try, right?
“Not literally, Twilight,” I sighed. “I... well, I prayed to my dad, hoping he could provide some sorta guidance. And I prayed to God, since that’s kind of a given considering my religion. Then, I prayed to Janus. The Greek god of doors and portals. Because, despite the fact I don’t believe in him, just in case he does... honestly, that jerk is long overdue for giving me a helping hand! After all, I came through the most important doorway ever!”
Twilight still didn’t understand, and kept pushing the issue. “But what god?” She asked. “And what religion?”
“Um... Where I’m from, there are no actual gods- at least, none that have interfered in human affairs for millennia. ‘God’ is the central figure of a number of monotheistic religions, each of which identify themselves as the only true religion. There’s also hundreds, or even thousands, of others, who don’t have God as their central figure.” I shrugged. “I didn’t want to bring it up because I’ve seen too many wars in my own kind’s history that started simply based on religion. I don’t want that coming into Equestria; you’ve got a good, unthreatened thing going here with Celestia.”
Twilight scoffed, and Lyra rolled her eyes. “You really think ponies agree entirely on religion?” she asked like I was an idiot. “There are at least four major religions among ponykind, the one focused on Celestia simply being the most prevalent simply because she is the most prevalent. And that’s just with ponies! The Griffon Kingdom hails its king as a god, and Saddle Arabia has an unseen force they pray to. We Equestrians are much more diverse than your show gives us credit for!”
I have to say, I did feel pretty stupid after that. Not everything about a world’s cultures can be interpreted from a such a small window as a TV show.
“Alright, alright... I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I shouldn’t have assumed. Now, can we please get back to helping out?”
They both nodded, and as we walked over to the group in charge of my iPod, Lyra purposefully bumped against me.
“Stupid Creed,” she giggled.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
By the end of the night, everything was as prepared as I could have made it. With the (sarcasm dripping from me) gracious Princess’s help, Lyra, Deluge and I managed to get everyone settled into bed about five and a half hours before they were to get up.
The rest of the night was spent fretting over maps, arguing over small movements during the capture of Ponyville itself, and coming up with a series of signals that would be easy to read across the entirety of the town.
Finally, when there was nothing more to do; I snuck into the bedroom I had woken up in, which was originally meant to be Deluge’s. She was out with Ruckus among the other Diamond Dogs though, a true leader of her kind. I saluted her drive mentally as I gladly took advantage of it for personal gain.
I moaned as I flopped into the bed face down, not bothering to remove any articles of clothing. We were expected to get up half an hour before anyone else, which meant I had about seventy minutes of uninterrupted sleep.
Yay me.
I pulled my iPod out, and turned on some Beethoven to help put me to sleep.It worked like a charm, the lilting sonds of the masterful classical composer driving straight into the ‘time to sleep now’ part of the brain. Because that’s a thing. Don’t argue with me, I took medical classes.
Within the minute, I was fast asleep.
The sleep was hollow and dreamless, but at least it was slightly rejuvenating. I woke up when the alarm went off, exactly sixty-eight minutes later. Groaning, I brushed my hand across the bedsheets to turn it off- and found myself touching something soft and furry instead.
Reaching over the obstruction in the dark to where I assumed my iPod was, I turned on the screen. Lo and behold, Lyra’s sleeping form was revealed.
She was laying on her back next to me, her mouth hanging open as she took deep and relaxing breaths. I looked across her sleeping form when I felt a small movement, and saw that one of her hind legs was twitching.
“Wake up, lazy,” I mumbled through sleep-numbed lips, pushing her rudely. “Else I might have to start telling ponies we slept together.”
She waved me away, her eyelids not lifting a millimeter. “Go ahead, I’ll stay here asleep,” she muttered back, wiggling deeper into her warm spot on the bed.
The lights started to slowly warm up as I turned off the iPod, and I rolled out of the bed to start stretching. I only got a few cracks from my neck, but my back was much more compliant.
Lyra gave a disgusted sound, and rolled into a human sit herself with a grunt.
“Oh, don’t judge me,” I said quietly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “I’m sure you have your own morning rituals that’d make me squirm... What’re you doing in here, anyway?”
“Ruckus had a nightmare. Needed to sleep in a bed with mommy. Only bed big enough that wasn’t occupied yet was mine- they tried to wake you up, but you didn’t even twitch.”
I laughed despite myself, knowing just how many times my roommates had run across the same troubles with my sleeping self. “And?” I asked, moving toward the door. “What makes you think it’s ok to sneak into my bed while I’m asleep, then?”
She gave a half smile, looking over her shoulder at me. “Well, I figured your bed would be nice and soft. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with you, of course. Besides, I’m the one that dragged your flank in here in the first place. I think I earned the right.”
“TIME TO GET UP!” I bellowed as I opened the door, causing Lyra to jump.
We had decided I was to be the jerk to get all the soldiers up and at'em in the morning. I had no problem with that; they already disliked me, and it was fun to play Drill Sergeant every once in awhile!
After all, Full Metal Jacket is one of the best movies ever. Of all time.
“GET MOVIN’, MS. I’M-TOO-GOOD-FOR-A-BED!” I continued, shaking awake the same pony I’d grabbed when searching for Twilight... what, two days ago now?
“DON’T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT THE HORDE OF DIAMOND DOGS, EITHER!” I shouted before giving my highest-pitched whistle. I could barely hear it, but the Diamond Dogs shot out of bed and onto their feet, looking around crazily as adrenaline coursed through their systems.
The wake-up started in full, the crystals around the Fantastical Cavernous Dwelling started coming on. Satisfied, I gave one more scream: ”TEN MINUTES TO PREPARE! FIND YOUR PARTNER, AND ASSEMBLE NEAR THE EXIT!”
With that, I turned to find everypony who had a room standing in their doorways, in various degrees of sleep deprivation. For her part, Deluge looked almost chipper as she shut the door behind her.
“Ready, pardner?” I drawled, slipping my hands into the belt loops on my jeans. “We’re up fer sum mighty fiiiine rustling wid dem dawgies too-day, y’hear?”
They all stared at me, and I sighed, letting my hands fall free from my belt loops. “Fine. You guys never let me have any Earth fun... Are you ready for today, Deluge?”
She nodded, stepping forward. “I’m ready. I left Ruckus in the bed, and hopefully, this whole thing will be over before he’s awake... Do you want to leave now?”
I looked around at the others before answering. Lyra was yawning, Twilight was stretching her wings with bags under her eyes and her hair going every which way, and Bon Bon was tying a red bandana around her head.
“I guess... Bon Bon, what’s up with the bandana? You going to go Rambo on us, or will you just attach a Starfleet Command badge to get yourself killed?”
No one got the joke; I didn’t expect them to. I got a good laugh out of it, imagining Bon Bon slowly approaching an armed Nuckelavee with an explosive bow.
“This’s the symbol of my Pony Fu level,” she huffed, seemingly offended at my laughter. “It’s one of the highest forms possible!”
“That’s great, you know, good for you. But,” I waggled my finger, “it won’t amount to diddly-squat against a Nuckelavee. If you’re going to be coming with Deluge and I, you both need to understand something.”
I looked them each in the eyes, holding their gaze for several seconds. “You are NOT, under ANY circumstances, to engage with any Nuckelavee you come across- especially Nahor. Leave him to me, and we’ll all get out of this thing alive. Understood?”
They both nodded, and I smiled, satisfied. “Good. Now, let’s get moving. We need to get our part over with as quickly as possible. Twilight, Lyra... Good luck.”
Twilight nodded thankfully, and Lyra called, “You too!” as we started on our way down the stairs, crossing the Spectacular Stalagticious Cave to dive into the dark recesses of the tunnels.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
I groaned, stifling another sneeze as Deluge continued to dig like a bulldozer on cocaine-laced Monster.
“What is it now?” Bon Bon sighed, dollying slowly along behind me. Deluge kept up a good enough pace that we could follow along at a normal pace.
Unfortunately for me, however, to make the whole operation faster she had to dig a hole just big enough for her and Bon Bon to stand in. That meant my crouching down or shuffling forward on all fours, and a lot of complaints.
“Well, besides the back problems, knees scraped raw, development of claustrophobia, and allergies coming back with a vengeance worse than at the height of my asthma as a kid, nothing! Nothing at all!”
She scoffed and kept her pace, right on my backside. Thankfully my belt came through to Equestria with my pants, or she’d have gotten quite the eyefull.
“Granted, I will give you one thing,” I said, trying to lighten the mood for myself. “That weird, sick feeling I got every time I entered the Wondrous Cavernous Cavernplace is now completely absent!”
“Oh joy,” she muttered quietly enough that I could barely hear her.
“Alright, listen,” I said, stopping and turning. I placed the lantern on the ground, happy it’d been brought to Equestria with me as well. I decided to let Deluge forge ahead while I had a little heart-to-heart with the new member of our team.
“If you’re coming with me, I’m adding another rule. No backsass. I can backsass because I like me, and Deluge would be able to if she was so willing. Because I like her too. I don’t know you, and I don’t like or dislike you yet. SO, if I hear anything like backsass, I’m sending your flank back to Aladdin’s Cave of Treasure. Got it?”
She frowned at me. “It’s called the Great Cavern. Not that difficult to remember.”
“That’s it!” I cried, throwing my hands into the air as much as the ceiling of the cramped tunnel would let me. “You’re going back! I hereby bar you from coming any further!”
Bon Bon smirked, lowering herself. “First of all, I have both Lyra’s and Twilight’s permission to be here. Whether or not you agree, I defer to their judgement. And second of all, I’d like to see you try! In this cramped space, there’s no way you can take me!”
I started to speak, but the breath died inside me. I knew she was right; for better or worse, she was coming on the adventure.
“Alright,” I said, wagging a finger in her face. “But if it weren’t for the fact that we’re crawling in a space that would make the Vietnam War’s tunnels look like the Taj Mahal, then you can bet your flank I’d kick you right the hell out!”
“Acknowledged, big flank,” She smiled. “Now, shall we continue? Or should we start gossiping?”
I grumbled, turning back around and picking up the lantern to see that Deluge had made it a good thirty or forty feet ahead while we chatted.
“Y’know what? Yes. Let’s gossip!” I said sarcastically, starting ahead. “It’ll make this trek much faster. I’ll go first: did you hear about Cindy?” I gave a squeal, my voice rising in pitch as I spoke. “I heard, like, she’s got posters of Justin Timberlake all over her bathroom! Oh Em Gee, I’d like, totally let him sing ‘Suit an Tie’ to me privately, if ya know what I mean! Love is swingin’ in the air tonight, lemme show you a few thaaaangs!”
I gave a giggle, shaking my booty to the absent tempo, and heard a responding laugh behind me.
“I have absolutely no idea what in the hay you’re talking about, but at least you’re chipper!” she said. “I guess I can see what Lyra was talking about you for.”
“What’s that?” I asked, looking back as I continued forward. “Lyra was talking about-”
I bumped into Deluge’s back and she shushed me immediately. Focusing forward, I saw she was pointing upwards.
“This is it!” she whispered with one ear pressed up against the ceiling.. “I can hear the workings of the furnace in the other room, but this one has three breathing ponies in it.”
“How can you tell they’re ponies?” I whispered back.
“They breath much more deeply and tend to whinny annoyingly deep in their chests from time to time,” she responded. We both ignored the “Hey!” behind us as I pressed my own ear against the ceiling.
I couldn’t hear anything but extremely faint rumbling. “Are you sure about this?” I asked, scrunching up to the ceiling to try and get better audio. “It sounds pretty far off, and I don’t think I can hear any breathing.”
“I’m sure,” she responded with a trace of doubt. When I looked at her suspiciously, she held up her paws. “Ok, so there may be a small chance they’re in the next room over, but either way, we’ve arrived!”
I shrugged. “Well, it’s not discouraging news even if they’re just one room over.” I pulled out my iPod, and saw that sunrise had come about six minutes before. “Alright, the distraction should be going strong, and the Second Meerkat Brigade should be surfacing soon to accept the Diamond Dogs’ surrender. You two ready?”
Deluge gave a single nod, and I looked back to see Bon Bon tighten the bandanna briefly before giving her own go-ahead.
“Alrighty then, Deluge,” I said, taking Benjamin from the strap on my back and turning the lantern off. “Let’s do this thing!”
As the light disappeared, I was left with nothing but the sound of intense digging and falling dirt. How the dirt didn’t pile up and kill us, I had no idea, but I attributed it to the odd physics of Equestria.
It only took half a minute before the ceiling came tumbling down before me. Deluge sprang up and out of the new hole in the ground, and I was right behind her,
Scrambling up and into the room above with Benjamin in hand, I took stock of my surroundings immediately. We had come up in the cells, specifically the one nearest the door, with not a single occupant in sight.
My eyes widened at the implications. “Deluge,” I whispered fiercely as Bon Bon made her way out of the hole behind us. “Are you sure the breathing could only have come from in here or next door?!”
She nodded, confused. “Yeah, why?”
I panicked, dropping Benjamin to the floor to grip the cell door with both hands.
“Because,” I grunted, straining my muscled and pulling with everything I had. The door ripped off its hinges with a shriek I found too loud for comfort, and I set it aside as gingerly as possible.
I looked back at the two astounded Equestrians and continued, “There’s only one room next door. The torture chamber!” I grabbed Benjamin and swung him over my back again.
Their eyes widened, and they followed me as I strode out of the cell. Opening the door as quietly as I could, I glanced up and down the hallway; no Nahor in sight.
Once again seeing the walls, and slowly making my way down the corridor to the room I wanted nothing more than to forget, was a discomforting experience. I couldn’t stop fidgeting, even knowing that there were two more pairs of eyes behind me. I just couldn’t fight that anticipation of horrible pain I’d fought through every previous trip down that same hallway.
It was dark and gloomy, narrow with a high roof. Perfect for gangly freaks like Charon, I supposed, though it could have used some more lighting to be entirely functional.
The next door on the right was thick, made with sturdy wood and stained a deep red.
“Why would they stain a door?” Bon Bon asked breathlessly behind me. “Doesn’t that seem a little bit much for decor in a torture chamber?”
“That isn’t wood treatment,” I replied ominously. “Prepare yourselves.”
With that, I counted to three in my head before kicking at the door handle with all of my enhanced strength.
The door burst from its jamb, flying across the room into the other wall.
I jumped in, glancing around and bringing horrible memories to the forefront of my mind. There was the hook they hung my horn and I from; there was the chair I was strapped into as they drove splinters into my hooves. There was the fireplace, where they would heat and ‘decontaminate’ their instruments- like, say, a brand- before use.
But there was no Nahor to be found. I straightened, emotions running through me as I looked at the place of my daily hell. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to curl into a ball, I wanted to burn the entire place to the ground, all at once.
Deluge shook me from my thoughts, pointing out one corner of the room. “There!” she said urgently before hurrying over before me.
“I’ll be on lookout!” Bon Bon volunteered, trotting back to the door.
I made my way over to the right hand side of the room, knowing in my heart I didn’t need to see what had happened to my brief cellmates.
It wasn’t as bad as I’d feared, at least. The three of them were strung up by their hooves- Rainbow Dash by her forehooves, and Flotilla and Armada hanging by their hind ones.
I sighed as I reached them, seeing the pitiful state of their coats and hair. Each was disgustingly filthy, even more so than when I’d left them, with entire colors of Rainbow Dash’s mane missing. For their parts, it looked like Flotilla was missing a few teeth from his open mouth, and Armada had a large chunk taken out of his left ear.
I looked at Deluge, who shrugged helplessly. “I can’t reach them,” she said simply, indicating the fact that the cuffs originated three feet above even my head. That left the ponies to dangle quite a ways aove the floor.
“Alright, but at least be prepared to catch them if they fall,” I said, reaching up to grip one of the cuffs on Armada’s hooves. With little effort, I yanked it apart, and he started to swing. Stepping to the side, I quickly snapped the other one as well. He started to fall horn-first to the ground, but Deluge caught him deftly and lowered him.
I moved on to Flotilla and made quick work of his cuffs as well, letting Deluge catch him just like his brother.
As I stepped up to Rainbow Dash, though, I couldn’t help but stop for a moment. Her face was just slightly higher than mine, and her head hung against her chest. The parts of her mane that were missing ran all the way to bare scalp, meaning that Nahor had been selectively shaving- or, more accurately, culling- different aspects of her once beautiful mane.
It looked like certain parts of her wings, which extended just past her sleeping form, had been plucked apart painfully as well.
“Oh, Rainbow Dash,” I sighed, reaching up to stroke her cheek soflty. “I’m so, so sorry you had to endure this.”
She breathed in, and her eyes started to open. I smiled as she slowly started to look up, giving her a little wave. “So, uh... long time no see, eh cellmate?” I joked, trying to lighten the shock of being rescued. I knew from accounts of POWs being rescued that sometimes they went crazy, thinking it was all one big hallucination.
I didn’t get quite the reaction I’d expected. Her eyes shot open, and she pressed herself back against the wall. Her wings shot open, and she cocooned herself within them as best as she could, her head left slightly uncovered.
“What, are you some new kinda monster?” she started to weep quietly. “Please... just please don’t hurt me anymore...”
I was taken aback, and it took a few moments to find my words when I remembered she hadn’t seen my real body. “Am I... N-no, Rainbow! It’s me! It’s Creed! I’m sorry, I forgot you’ve never seen me like this, but I promise it’s me!”
I searched desperately for something that would prove it to her, as she refused to let down her wing guard the slightest bit.
“Uh... Oh, I know! You were afraid you’d be taken, and one day you wouldn’t scream! I was in a dark magic shroud of some kind, and you gave me a brohoof to make us friends, and the darkness lifted! ‘You’re my rock, Rainbow Dash. You’re the way I’ll be able to get out of here with my sanity, the way I’ll be able to fake losing my will!’ That’s probably not verbatim, but I’m sure that was the gist! Is any of this ringing a bell?”
She lowered her wings, regarding me suspiciously. “But... How?” she asked. “You.. you lost it. You didn’t scream. I didn’t look at you the last time you left and....” Now, the tears started to roll down her face freely as she squeezed her eyes shut, turning her head to one side.
“They said I couldn’t talk to you, I couldn’t look at you, but I couldn’t stop it! The one time I didn’t you... You didn’t... Creed I’m so sorry!”
She was shaking as she bawled, and I couldn’t think to do anything as she sobbed uncontrollably.
“I knew it, I knew you wouldn’t scream once! I know it’s my fault! It’s all my fault! I did it to you! It’s my fault! My stupid, stupid fault!”
I reached up and broke each of the cuffs at the same time with a squeeze, and caught her as she started to fall. She continued to cry, her eyes pressed closed tightly, but she clung to me with the desperation of a terrified child held by its mother.
I held her against me while I stood there, stroking the back of her mane. She pressed her head to my chest and let out the pent-up fear and frustration of weeks, the same feelings I’d experienced not too long ago.. I could feel the hot tears soaking into my white undershirt, so numerous that they started to roll down my abdomen under the shirt.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok Rainbow, it’s ok, I’m here now,” I told her. “You’re safe. No one’s ever going to hurt you again. I promise. Ssshhhh, sshhh, it’s ok. Just let it out, Rainbow. Let it out. I’ve got you.”
Deluge whispered next to me, “The other two are fine, out cold. I think they just need some rest, some food and water, and they’ll be fine.”
I nodded my thanks to her, still holding tightly to Rainbow Dash. She hugged me tightly in kind, and although her trembling and tears didn’t slow. she did manage to quiet herself.
“I’m so, so sorry, Creed,” she whispered once again, and I smiled.
“I know, Rainbow Dash. I know. It’s fine.”
I heard a noise behind me, and I turned slightly to see what was there. Nothing. Looking over to Deluge, I mouthed, “Did you hear that too?”
She nodded, her eyes twitching between every torture device across the room. She was on edge, with good reason; there was no telling what Nahor had rigged up just in case anypony decided to come snooping around while he was away.
“See anyone?” I whispered, still stroking Rainbow Dash’s mane. Though, I probably held her tighter against me, my instincts telling me to protect her at all costs.
“No one,” Deluge whispered back, sniffing at the air. “There’s... there’s no one in the room with us.”
My eyes widened, and I whispered to Rainbow Dash, “Hey, I need to put you down real quick, okay Dashie?”
Her wings surrounded me, and she clung even tighter. “Please, no!” She whispered, fresh tears springing again to her eyes as she looked up to me. “I’m sorry, but please don’t leave me here, not here, anywhere but here,” she pleaded.
I hushed her, smiling encouragingly. “It’s ok, it’ll just be for a minute,” I cooed softly. “I promise, I’m going to get you out of here as soon as possible. But for right now, I’m going to leave you with my good friend Deluge, ok?”
She looked around at Deluge, who gave her least terrifying puppy dog eyes.
“But she’s one of them, she whispered, clinging to me desperately. “She... she’ll hurt me like the others!”
“No, no, she’s a good dog,” I said encouragingly, gesturing with my head for Deluge to come closer. She did, and I let go with my closest arm to pat her on the head. “See? Goood Diamond Doggy.”
Deluge grumbled a little bit, but looked at Rainbow Dash. “I promise, I’ll watch you for the next few minutes. I want to help Equestria just as much as Creed here does- maybe even more. You’re in safe paws.”
I tapped Rainbow Dash’s head, bringing her focus back to me. “See?” I asked. “Nothing to worry about. Just stay with Deluge and I’ll be right back. She’ll take care of you like her own pup.”
Rainbow Dash’s wings slowly loosened their grip on me, and she gave a small nod. Encouraged, I squatted down to lay her on the ground. Patting her on the head and whispering once more, “I’ll be right back!” with a smile, I stood up tall.
Turning around, I began to make my way cautiously toward the door.
“Where’re you going?” Deluge hissed.
“Bon Bon was in the room with us before,” I told her without pause. The small intake of breath from behind told me she had completely forgotten about Bon Bon, as had I. And the feeling of guilt, of failed responsibility, started to flow through me as I searched for our missing comrade.
Looking through the doorway down one direction, I couldn’t see anything. Taking a deep breath, I turned the corner and glanced down the other direction.
Standing ten feet from the door was Nahor, with Bon Bon floating in his magic hold midair between us.
“Sssso, the prodigal sssson returnssss!” he cackled, his single red eye glowing gleefully. “Look what you left behind ssssnooping in my Detention Hall.”
He moved his extended hand a bit, and Bon Bon shifted in kind. Her face was turning purple, and though I could see that she was breathing a little bit, it was obviously a struggle for each molecule of air. She tried to fight the magic, but I could sense that there was no way she could escape from that bubble of energy.
And it was too far to hope that I could rush over and free her before Nahor managed some serious damage on the unprotected pony.
“Alright, you’ve got me,” I said, holding up my hands. “Just put her down, and we’ll be on our way.”
“Drop your sssstick, human!” he hissed, pointing his free hand at Benjamin. I hadn’t even realized I had drawn him again, but I looked to see the stick held tightly in my grip.
Slowly getting to one knee, I placed Benjamin on the ground as ordered. “There, you see? Nice and easy, listening to what you say. Now please, release her. She can’t breathe.”
He hissed evilly, “Sssshut up, human! Your kind never knowssss when to sssstop talking!You will ssssurrender and accompany me to Canterlot, "NOW!”
Holding up my hands higher, I stood back up. “Now, listen, we can work this out. You let Bon Bon here go free, and I’ll go quietly with you.”
”And what if I don’t?” he giggled, turning Bon Bon around and appearing to examine her. “What if I decssside I want her dead? What then?”
My breath caught, and I got to my knees. “P-please, Nahor, I’m begging you, let’s not even talk about that. Just let her go. She’ll be another subject for your kind later. It’s in your own best interests to let her go... Please. I’m on my hands and knees here.” I dropped to my hands, holding my head high and keeping direct eye contact with the horse’s illuminated globe of an eye.
”Hmmmmm... You make a good point, human....” He opened his hand some, and Bon Bon immediately drew a deep and ragged breath before coughing violently. ”And what do you think of all thisssss, horsssse? Will you be a good little sssservant to your Nuckelavee Overlordssss?”
Bon Bon glanced at me, and nodded. Looking back at Nahor, she said, “Yes sir... Whatever you want, I’ll do it.” Her shoulders slumped as she said it; at least, as much as they could within Nahor’s magic. She sighed, accepting her fate, but probably thankful that a reprieve had been granted.
Oh good!” He practically squealed with delight. “Becausssse the firsssst thing I want you to do, loyal ssssubject, is DIE.”
He gave a flick of his wrist, and a horrifying cracking sound filled the room as Bon Bon’s neck was broken. Her body, released from Nahor’s grip, fell to the ground with a dull, lifeless THUD.