//------------------------------//
// Chapter 10: Story Time 
// Story: The Royal Thief 
// by LTBroski 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 10 – Story Time
Az walked out of the long house as Princess Celestia began shooting fire out of her horn.  Nope.  He turned around and reentered the long house, to the amusement of his compatriots.  He heaved a sigh and found a seat at one of the tables.
Longshot walked up next to him.  “Hey Az, you may want to lay low for a while, you know, until she calms down a bit.  This is the first time we’ve ever been able to nab it in who knows how long.  She’ll get over it.”  She sat down next to Az at the table.  “You could give Hammer a hoof over in the forge.  It’ll keep you out of the way at least.”  Az nodded and stood up.   As he did, however, Luna and Twilight came bursting through the doors and slammed them shut behind them, panting.
Luna was the first to speak, as all of the Guard members stood gawking at the spectacle.  She sat straight up and cleared her throat before addressing the crowd.  “Ehem.  Threats were made and Twilight and I thought a hasty retreat would be most beneficial to our health.”  Twilight nodded before displaying a sheepish grin.  Az noted she had forgone the typical hoof coverings and crown she would have worn in court.  She was instead wearing a set of saddlebags.  The Guard members in the room let out a nervous laugh, aware that they were hiding from the sun goddess in a building made from wood.
Twilight noticed Az before he was able to retreat into the crowd.  “Az! There you are!  I almost didn’t recognize you.”  There was smattered laughter from the Guard members still in the room.  She looked around confused before returning her focus to Az.  “So did you actually do it?”
“I may or may not have done any number of things.” he replied
Luna chuckled.  “Very good, you’ve definitely found your niche around here haven’t you?”
I guess I never thought about it like that before.  He looked around at his comrades.  “Yeah, I guess I have.  Princess Twilight, did you bring those books I asked about?”
“Oh yeah!  I have them right here.”  She pulled three ancient texts out of her saddlebags.  “You aren’t permanently giving these away, are you?” she asked nervously.
“No way.  I’ve used them way too many times to begin giving them away.”  He turned towards the dormitory corridor.  “If you’ll follow me, Princess.  I promised Clear Sky that I’d get these to her by the end of the week.”  He cast a glare at Longshot, who making googly eyes at Az and hiding her laughter by faking coughing.  Az and Twilight ascended the steps leading towards the dormitory hallway and stopped at room eighteen.  Az knocked loudly, since Clear Sky apparently had a habit of ignoring anypony at her door.  She opened the door enough to see Az and Twilight standing outside, with three very old books held in Twilight’s telekinetic grasp.
Her eyes widened. “Are those-?”
“Yep.”
“Can I-?”
“Help yourself.  Just be very careful with them.”  The books had disappeared out of Twilight’s grasp and the door slammed with a rushed thank you.  
“A bit eccentric isn’t she?” Twilight asked.
“That’s one way of putting it.” Az replied.  He could hear Princess Celestia enter the main hall and begin demanding to know where her tiara disappeared to.  “We’d better get out of here before she burns the building down.”
“Yeah, I’m with you on that.  Oh and you can just call me Twilight, all my friends do.”  She began walking further down the hallway before stopping and turning to look at Az.  “Uh, where do I need to go?”
“Door twenty-five.  We can hop out the window if your solar counterpart comes rampaging down the hallway.  If I remember properly, I told you we’d have story time if you’re still up to it.”  He caught up to Twilight who had resumed walking down the hallway.  
“I do indeed remember.  I also remember you saying that you’d tell me how you came across those Zebraic scrolls, specifically.”
“Right.  Well here we are.”  He opened the door and allowed Twilight to walk through first.  “You can post up wherever you want to.  This story may take a while.”  She hopped onto his bed, which caused the perfectly folded sheets to crinkle.  Az hid his grimace, and took a seat on the middle of the floor, facing the bed.
“So the Zebraic scroll story.  Right.  Well I was out on an expedition on the Plains, on my way to check out some ruins that researchers had uncovered recently.  They had hit a dead end, so asked me to drop by and see if there was some sort of contraption guarding a hidden door or anything like that.  I agreed to a modest price to cover my travel expenses, plus a stipulation that I would get to keep anything of value with writing on it once I entered the ruin.”
“But I thought you were a thief?” Twilight interjected.
“I was, but I also did odd jobs to make a little extra money between high-paying jobs.  If you’ve ever been to the Canterlot Historical Museum, you’ll have seen displays that were donated anonymously.  Most of those were me, and by “donated” they mean they paid more than another country’s museum.  I had a habit of finding nothing but amazing pieces when I wasn’t working with researchers.  
“But in any case I had just started my expedition when things started going wrong.  The train that I was traveling on to a point near the excavation site broke down just after the Equestrian border.  I couldn’t afford any delays so I decided to fly the remaining distance.  It was easily seventy or so miles across the Plains, but luckily for me thermals are present throughout the year there.  I was able to fly a solid thirty-five or forty miles before I had to take a break.  Between the heat and the muscles in my shoulders getting tired, I needed an hour or so of shuteye, not to mention water.  I managed to find a stream and angled down so I could catch a drink and hopefully find a tree for a nap.  
“So I get my drink and had just settled in for a nap in a nearby stream when I hear some sort of wailing chant coming from over the hill.  I had noticed there was a village on my flight down, but hadn’t paid it any attention, since many of the Zebra tribes that inhabited the Plains are nomadic by nature.  Needless to say, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to go check out what was going on.  First thing I did was put my armor on though, one can never be too careful you see.  I crest the hill and see the entire tribe out in the center of the village, chanting and dancing in some sort of circular form.
“I posted up on top of the hill to watch, but as I did so, some members of the tribe spotted me and came running over.  I couldn’t see any weapons, so I just stayed put as they approached my spot.  They reach me and I can’t understand a single word that they’re saying, it’s one of their hundred or so dialects that I can’t understand, and they just kept rambling on.  I tried telling them I had no idea what they were saying, and as soon as they heard I was speaking Equestrian, they just grabbed me and started pulling me towards the village.  Oh, and I forgot to mention that these two were kids, no more than fifteen or sixteen years old.
“So we get to the village and the two kids run off to go find someone.  They come back with the older Zebra mare, probably the village elder, who knew enough Equestrian to get her point across.  What happened was that while they were moving from their previous village to the one they were in then they lost one of their foals along the way.  It happened at night, so they were convinced she was foalnapped by a group of hyena thugs that were native to the area.  Since I had put my armor on, they figured I was some sort of warrior or something and asked for my help in retrieving the foal.  I had heard about these hyenas before, and they were some seriously bad guys.  Made a habit of ransoming captives, and if their demands weren’t met, well, hyenas are carnivores.”  He saw Twilight cringe where she was laying down on his bed. Az stood up and walked over to his bathroom and grabbed a drink of water before retaking his place and resuming the story.
“I agreed to help out this tribe and ask them to point me in the right direction.  They told me that the bandits were last seen holed up in a cave under this big hill about ten miles north.  This set me back a ways, but the kid needed help.  None of the zebras were outfitted for the kind of fight these hyenas were going to put up, and like I said, carnivores.  I hopped a couple of thermals and quickly found the hill they were talking about.  For the most part hyenas are nocturnal, so they hadn’t posted any guards on the outside of the cave.  I was able to slip in easy enough, but inside the place was crawling with a dozen or so half-asleep bandits.  And did that place smell.  Hygiene was obviously foreign to them.  
“I sneak past the majority of the bandits pretty easily and make it to the foal.  The poor thing was knocked out, drugged most likely, and tied up in a corner of the cave.  I picked her up on my back and got out of the cave as quickly as I could.  Luckily none of the hyenas noticed me making my way out with her.  After about a mile of hiking I tried waking the foal up, without any success, so I needed to hoof it the rest of the way to the village.   I managed to get back a few hours before sundown, and the villagers were more than grateful.  They kept trying to give me some of their more valuable possessions, which I continued to refuse.  The village elder walked up and asked me what I would take as payment.  I told her knowledge, which drew a grin from her.”  Funny how I never forget that grin.  “She told me about a cave in the mountains bordering the southern edge of Equestria, and that I could find what I wanted in there.  After my expedition to the ruins, I made my way there and found the scrolls that you found to contain that panacea.”
“So what’d you do about the hyenas?” Twilight asked.
“I immediately notified the authorities about their hideout after leaving the Zebra village.  A couple hours later, the Plains Guard moved in and arrested all of the bandits.  They caught them just as they were leaving the cave to go out on the prowl.  Easy as that.”
“It was really nice how you just up and helped out that Zebra tribe.”
“What, you expected me to be the bad guy in that story?  Sounds like I have a few more surprises up my sleeve than I thought.”
“Well it’s not that, I just thought with your profession and all… Speaking of which, how did you get into being a thief?”
Az paused, taken aback.  “Huh, nopony’s ever asked me that before.”  He stretched his wings, looking out the window before answering.  “Well that’s a long story too, if you’re up for it.”  She nodded, apparently eager to dive into his backstory.  Az sighed before continuing.  “Here goes then.  I guess everything started when my Dad joined the Palace Guard.  He and my Ma had just had me, and they were really happy with how everything was going.  He was a bit of the adventurous type when he wasn’t on duty, probably where I got it from, and he took my Ma on some pretty exotic excursions once in a while.  About the time that I was two or three, though, there was… an accident.  My Dad didn’t make it out of some cave that he and a few of his buddies were exploring along the border with Draconia.
“My Ma took it really hard for a long time, and I was forced to fend for myself when our savings ran out.  I was about six when that happened.  So I took up thieving at an early age, mostly little things to help me and Ma get through the week.  I always ended up feeling bad about what I stole, but there was no other way around it, steal and eat or starve.  She initially asked about where I managed to get some of the stuff I brought home, but I never answered her straight.  After a while she gave up asking and just accepted that I wouldn’t tell her where I picked up the food and stuff.  She found a job at a travel agency after I got caught and brought home by the Palace Guard, and I didn’t have to steal anything anymore.  Habits die hard though, and kleptomania had its claws pretty deep in me.  Don’t get me wrong, I stole less frequently, but I had that irresistible urge to take shiny stuff.  
“I eventually found I had a knack for solving puzzles and getting to places others may have had a hard time getting to on my thieving excursions into Canterlot.  I heard about these expeditions that went off to faraway countries to find rare and valuable items and I figured it was right up my alley.  I applied to a trip out to the Tigran Empire, where some researchers had just found some new ruins.  I did pretty well and found the money was more than useful.  Eventually I discovered my skillset would serve me well in thieving around Canterlot, so I started taking jobs from well-off clients to acquire rare and valuable items from other members of high society.  These jobs paid more than the expeditions, so I became a professional thief.  
“Over the years, my Ma kept pushing me to join the Palace Guard, do what my Dad did, but I always found some way to get around it by telling her about my latest adventure out of country.  It was especially bad after both the Nightmare Moon and Discord incidents, let me tell you.”  Twilight grinned apologetically after he shot her a look.  “She’d respond by telling me about this grand vacation she had been planning over the years she was at the travel agency.  “Four countries and three oceans” she kept saying, “better than your adventures.”  So as I got better, I started putting money aside for her to take that trip.  Your friend’s Element would have been the final nail in the coffin on that one.  Now that I’m with the Guard though, I can put most of my money towards that, and I don’t need to feel bad about it.  That pretty much answer your question?”  He looked at Twilight, who appeared about ready to burst into tears.  Ah crap.  I made the Princess cry.
“I-I had no idea that-“
“Of course you didn’t.  Nopony but you knows.  Well, maybe Longshot.  I’ve worked with her enough that she might know the majority of my backstory.  She was the unicorn mare making faces at me down in the main hall.”  Twilight gave a small laugh, followed by a sniff.
“You two are close then?”
“Longshot and I go way back.  We’ve saved each other more than a few times.  Now that I think about it, she was really my only friend before I came out here.”
“That doesn’t explain the faces though.”
Az laughed nervously, and was glad his black coat would conceal the blood rushing to his face.  He rubbed the back of his head “Heh, yeah.  The current running theory is that you and I are… in cahoots.”  He laughed again nervously.
“Well that’s silly” she said with a confused expression.
“Tell me about it.” Whew, dodged that one.  Being up here with her can’t be helping though…  He looked out the window again to see the courtyard deserted.  A moment later, Captain Shade’s voice sounded over the magical intercom system.
“All Guard members to the main hall, please.  I say again, all Guard members to the main hall.”  Az could feel all the blood rush out of his face.  So this is how I die.
Twilight noticed that he had stopped moving.  “You’re not nervous about Celestia, are you?  I’m sure she’s calmed down by this point.”
“Easy for you to say, you’re her personal student.”  He stood up, and Twilight hopped off of his bed.  “Might as well get this over with though.  But if I’m to die today, I’m going out in style.”  He pulled Princess Celestia’s tiara out of its pocket and placed it on his head, drawing a giggle from Twilight.  They walked down the hallway in silence, and upon reaching the door, Az poked his head out, with the tiara in full view of anypony watching the door.  He was greeted by the faces of all of the Guard members, Princess Luna, and, directly in front of him, Princess Celestia, who looked as calm as she always typically was.  
She regarded Az with a cocked eyebrow as he put on a large grin.  Luna was the first to start laughing, her dignity still ignored, as the remainder of the Guard were still staring in shock at the spectacle before them.  “Um, hi there, Princess.”  Az said, startling the remainder of the ponies in the room, save Princess Celestia, into laughing.  Eventually she too cracked a grin before levitating the tiara back onto her own head.  
“Well played Azure Wind, well played indeed.” Celestia said as Az walked into the room, followed closely by Twilight.  “Nopony’s been able to get my tiara without me noticing in quite some time, I daresay before anypony in this room was born.”  The Guard cheered, and Az grinned at their response.  “But I must return to Canterlot, along with Luna and Twilight Sparkle.  There are many pressing matters that demand our attention outside of surprise visits and stolen tiaras.”  She turned to leave before pausing and turning back to Az.  “How did you get my tiara a few months ago in the first place?”  Az was about to answer when he saw Luna snickering behind her hooves.
“Luna, would you like to tell her?”  Luna’s look of surprise at being addressed turned into one of demonic glee as she nodded and straightened herself out.  
“Sister, thou.  Were.  Snoring!”  She laughed, leapt into the air, and teleported out of the room before Celestia could reply.  The Guard once again erupted into laughter, more prompted by Luna’s antics than what she had said.  Celestia shook her head and looked to Twilight, who was laughing just as hard as the Guard members in the room.
“We must be going Twilight, as I said, we have many pressing matters to attend to.”  Celestia began walking towards the door, and Guard members, still reeling from their most recent bout of laughter, parted to let her pass.  
Twilight wiped her eyes off before turning to Az.  “Thank you for telling me those stories.  I’ll only be in Canterlot for a few more days before I need to return to Ponyville, so if you need anything, you’ll know where to find me.”  She turned to follow Celestia out of the room.  Az turned to see Longshot looking at him with the beginnings of a smirk crossing her face.
“Don’t you even start with me.” Az said, grinning himself.