"Who are you!?" Celestia screamed as the hatted man sat at the end of the long dining table.
Taking a sip of tea, he looked back at her and smiled.
"I am not a pony, me. Nor a sailor from the sea. Though I am not blue, I am a friend who's close to you." Was all he said as he vanished in thin air, leaving behind a single signed note.
Said note was entitled 'Your friend, The Mad Hatter.'
I sighed in relief as I relived old memories.
"Yes, that was one of the first times I've ever seen the Princess so scared in her life," I said as I trailed off. "Such a shame her sister was still on the moon; in any event it would be her to attack me first."
I turn toward you all as I finally realized you were watching.
"Oh! Hello again! I was wondering when you might show up! Now, I know Uncle Hatter promised to give you all cake; sadly, I couldn't think of what flavor. So I got you all the greatest, most sweetest flavor EVER!" I paused as I waited for your reaction.
"The flavor, is silence." I could only imagine the happiest smiles on your faces as you munched into the silent-flavored cake. "Now then, since you all are done with your cake, I think it's time we sped up the story a little bit. I know you all are dying to hear how exactly I became the Hatter; but I don't have much time left so that will have to wait. Now then, let us fast forward; to when our little not-so-human anymore woke up..."
Jonathan awakened screaming in pain. Said screams continued for about five minutes as he tried to get up and run, though without legs that was hardly going to work. Jonathan screamed and screamed till finally he went into a state of delirium. He just stared at his body, it hurt yes, but he found that even though he was bleeding profusely. He wouldn't die.
Jonathan stared until finally he shouted up into the darkness.
"WHAT IS THIS!? YOU SAID I WOULD LIVE FOREVER! BUT AM I GOING TO BE LIVING IN ETERNAL PAIN!?" He shouted in fury and fright as he waited for something of any kind to answer him.
He got nothing sadly as he just continued to hyperventilate. Hours went by, or at least he thought so, he began mumbling to himself to pass the time, though that hardly seemed appropriate. However, since he was not dying anytime soon; he figured it would be the best.
"This... This isn't real. None of it can be real! I was... I was stabbed; I was stabbed by those racist bastards called ponies! But then, why am I not dead? Is this the afterlife? If so, then why am I here? I accepted the deal! Bah! To this dark, forsaken hell with everything!" His anger continued for more hours to come, finally giving ways to sadness and regret.
"I should have never left my family! Mother! Father! Gregory! Anybody! Ple~ase! No, no, no!" He cried for more and more hours to come, the pain having faded; or maybe he just chose not to feel it anymore.
Finally, his ramblings became more incoherent, maybe for the sake of his own now fragile psyche.
"I should have paid that barkeep more, he might have given me more rum! Maybe I should have just gone with those guards, not only would that Gryphon be alive but that Dog as well. Oh who am I kidding, I should've just never moved from home; mum probably missed me so much..."
More hours passed, but by now they felt even longer. Years even. He eventually stopped rambling and started hyperventilating again, only to revert back and forth between the two. Finally, the place he was in started to change. Slowly at first, to the point he never noticed; but eventually more and more things began happening that he merely observed in silence.
He started seeing mirrors, with a few occasional doors floating around in the darkness. He looked into these mirrors and noticed many different things. Some terrified him, while others made him reminisce of the days when he was a young boy.
He saw one mirror with a human and the pony princesses laughing together, he saw another with what seemed like the undead rising from their graves and devouring ponies, gryphons, dogs, animals, everything in their sight. He saw one of what looked like the monster he heard legends about called Discord terrorizing everything; sending the world into chaos.
All these mirrors, he witnessed different realities, finally; even he did not know which reality was his. He shook his head as a smile plastered onto his lips. Jonathan felt, different. He couldn't tell how or why but he knew something felt off about himself.
He got up, but as he did; he realized something.
"Since when was I able to stand!?" He yelled aloud in awe as he noticed the wounds from before gone without a trace.
As he looked around, he noticed the scenery almost the same aside from the floating of both doors and mirrors. Humming to himself, he began walking in a random direction. He noticed the scenery become brighter as he felt the hours of walking turn into days. Hours earlier he stopped humming and soon began whistling to the tune of a song.
He remembered he learned this song from a sailor out on the seas. Though, he couldn't remember which race he was; he had the slightest feeling it may have been a Minotaur. A drunken minotaur at that. He continued to whistle as the scenery around him became brighter and more colorful. Finally, after what felt like months of walking; he finally came to a large table.
Now, to anyone else the contents upon this table would have curiosity dragging him closer to the middle. But for Jonathan, his curiosity was drawn to a peculiarly large object at one of the ends of the table. Closer and closer he came to said object, as it's magnificent beauty came into full view.
The object, twas' a hat. A very large hat, but a beautifully crafted hat at that. Jonathan looked at the hat for some time, tilting his head back and forth as he stared at it. As he reached out his hands, he felt the leathery smooth surface that accompanied the fine dull-brown velvet at the top of it. He noticed a ribbon going around the brown hat, along with a single, colorful feather that was put in said ribbon.
To anyone else, this hat would seem dull and strange.
But to Jonathan, he had a feeling arise from seeing it. It was like the feeling was dormant, yet still always there. As he grasped the rim of the hat, he lifted it up to his head. As he put it on, he felt something that he had thought he had not felt for some time.
Completion.
He turned to his right and noticed a mirror, in the reflection he saw himself; or at least he thought it was himself. The reflection showed a human dressed in a small piper's coat, with a sash going down his fluffy shirt-covered chest. He was wearing tight leg stockings, which now that he looked at his feet; noticed that he was also wearing buckled shoes. His gloves appeared to be black as midnight as he lifted his hands to his face. But as he looked at his head, he was shocked at what he saw.
His hat was slightly tilted!
With a quick fix, he realigned his hat to the perfect angle. Now studying his head, he noticed his brown hair was in a wild state; almost as if it had never been brushed before. His face was a bit paler than he liked, but he lost focus as he looked into his eyes.
His right eye was a startling crystal blue as the other was a brilliant purple. He also noticed that one eye was dilated while the other was not. Though he did not care about that one bit, it was still puzzling to look at.
"Well now! Isn't that a handsome young lad, if I do say so myself!" A voice resonated from seemingly nowhere.
"Who are you?" Jonathan asked, though he was not startled; he felt strangely at unease.
"You mean you haven't figured it out lad? Ha! Now there's something I love about a madman! Innocence!" The voice then seemed to impersonate the sound of something breathing in fresh air. "Ahhh! You can just smell it all over you!"
Jonathan looked around, before realizing what the voice had said.
"But wait, I'm not mad. In fact, who, and where are you?" Jonathan asked, clearly annoyed.
"You mean you still haven't figured it out yet? I know you're mad because I am your madness! Ha ha ha!" Were the last things the voice said before going into silence.
Jonathan stood there, but eventually pulled up a seat that appeared out of thin air and sat with his elbows on the table. He took notice of the teapots, cups, and other utensils that littered the long, rectangular wooden table. He sat there for minutes, glancing at his reflection occasionally then back to the table. An hour passes as he seemed to sit there, contemplating what his "Madness" had told him.
After another few minutes, he smiled.
Said smile grew, and grew to an almost dangerous level; finally, he began to laugh.
The laughter continued, echoing across the dark abyss that surrounded the white tea party area. The laughter abruptly stopped however, as a single door floated down across the table.
"Hmm." Jonathan mused. "I think this is going to be fun!" Were his last words before comically walking across the table, somehow missing all the cutlery; before finally opening the door and stepping though.
"And that! Is how I saved Christmas while giving birth to cheese!" Hatter exclaimed loudly as he sat up. "Now then, enough with the introductions of my story, I think it's time for the real fun to begin!" With that, another door appeared.
Not even hesitating he opened it. With a blinding flash of light, he was gone.
Cheshire Cat: If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.
Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no no no...
Cheshire Cat: Or, you could ask the March Hare, in that direction.
Alice: Oh, thank you. I think I'll see him...
Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.
Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.
[laughs maniacally; starts to disappear]
Cheshire Cat: You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.