//------------------------------// // Humans.MOV // Story: The Lunaverse.MOV // by Listie The Scribe Maid //------------------------------// THE LUNAVERSE.MOV Written by the Luna 6 (with help from That Gamer!) Directed by the Luna 6 Camera operated by Derpy Hooves No.2: Humans.MOV "So I heard you edited these," Nyx said, rolling the dice, as her and Gamer Luna playing Monopoly. "Yeah, but that be-eth only for time reasons," Luna explained. "For, thou doth see, this be-eth really long. The last one, we hate to admit, was actually five hours." "Can I presume that'll mean we will possibly see an unedited cut in the future?" Gamer Luna asked. "We doth hope not," Luna muttered. "So, before we begin, how art thy game going?" Gamer Luna rolled the dice then and replied, "Amazing! I just landed on Park Place and-" "I own that property," Nyx cut in. "So?" Gamer Luna asked. "I own it, so pay me," Nyx answered with a chuckle. "Damn it..." Gamer Luna murmured under her breath, forking over a few wads of money. "Ah-ah-ah! There are two hotels there!" Nyx told Gamer Luna. "Which means you have to pay me double." "DAMN IT!" Ignoring that, Luna pushed the play button to begin the next exciting part of the mini-series. ==TL.M== "Is it recording?" Trixie whispered to Derpy, who was holding the camera. "I think so... I light's on," Derpy mumbled, trying to check the front without taking the focus off of Trixie. "Trixie hopes so," Trixie said, "'cause Trixie's handing all camera operations over to you." "M-me?" Derpy was surprised. "Why?" "Because somepony broke the tripod!" Trixie answered. "Sorry!" Cherilee shouted from somewhere off camera. Trixie rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Let's just get on with this..." "OK!" Derpy chirped. She thought for a moment before asking, "What's the scene?" "Urgh... Trixie walks over there," Trixie groaned, "and that's about it." "Oh..." "Yeah, Trixie thought you read the script beforehand," Trixie remarked under her breath before getting on with the scene. Funny enough, it was exactly how Trixie described it: She walked a foot or two, but then stopped. "Now go inside," Trixie instructed Derpy, pointing at the door of the Carousel Boutique, which took a long to get permission to film in. About thrice the time it took to write this script. "Make sure to shut the door behind you." "But how will you get in?" Derpy asked. "And we're not going to stop filming?" "Everything will be fixed in post," Trixie replied quickly. "Now get in there before Trixie edits your face." "That'd be nice!" Derpy exclaimed before getting what Trixie meant and hurried inside. "You finished out there already?" Lyra asked, wheeling up Derpy. "Yep!" Derpy said happily. "By the way, Trixie knows how to do plastic surgery, apparently." "...I don't even..." Lyra began, but then thought of something else less important, but she knew that they needed to finish shooting soon. They only had a week. "OK, Derpy, just point the camera at the door and I'll do my bit with Trixie. Just stay quiet, 'K?" "But I wanna participate..." Derpy grumbled. "You're holding the camera," Lyra reassured Derpy, "and your part's up next. Don't worry." "Oh, OK!" "Are you two done in there?!" Trixie yelled from outside. Lyra muttered something under her breath and shouted back, "Just go ahead!" There was a brief period of silence. Lyra checked the clock on the wall after a bit, failing to notice Trixie forcing her head through the mail slot, said act making Derpy yelp in surprise. "What? What is it?" Lyra asked, looking back and seeing the impossible. You can imagine her reaction. "AHH, THE BUCK! How... HOW THE BUCK?!" "First off all, let Trixie say that we did have a budget," Trixie began. "I thought we were being funded by a shoestring," Lyra deadpanned. "But, anyways, tell me what happened to the budget I didn't know we had." "You're looking at it!" Trixie exclaimed, getting a confident smirk on her face. If only you could see the hate on Lyra's face. "YOU SPENT... THE ENTIRE BUDGET... ON THAT ONE EFFECT?!" she snarled. "Well, things look better live then in post!" Trixie argued. "So that's why you're doing everything else in post?" Lyra asked, hate tinting every word like frost on a window pane. "This effect cost a lot of bits!" Trixie pointed out. "Be impressed!" "Oh, yeah, you wasted all these bits trying to make yourself look more impressive!" Lyra yelled. "OF ALL THE SELF CENTERED BUL$#!T... GAH!!!" "Boy, this is going to make a great outtake," Derpy commented. "Are you really still recording?!" Lyra shouted. "B-but Trixie said she'd e-edit this all out in p-p-post!" Derpy stammered. "...You are so stupid sometimes!" Lyra exclaimed before taking some deep breaths. "OK... Let's... Move on. First thing's first, Trixie, get out that mail slot." "Um... Trixie didn't pay for a way out," Trixie admitted sheepishly. "WHAT!?" Lyra shouted before quickly calming herself down again. "Trixie thought it would come with the pack..." Trixie mumbled to herself. She then got the idea to teleport out of the slot and did so, accidentally breaking it in the process. "Oops." "It doesn't matter," Lyra told Trixie, "just get in here!" And so the blue magician did enter, noting the damage she did, but not really caring all that much. "So I presume that we can't have humans in this scene like I wanted?" Lyra mumbled. Trixie thought for a few seconds, then said, "It's all done in post." "SO WHAT'S ALL THIS BUCKING GARBAGE ABOUT BUCKING DOING THINGS BUCKING LIVE?!" Lyra screamed. "WHAT, YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE NEAT LOOKING EFFECTS DONE LVIE, BUT I GET ALL OF MINE DONE WITH CG-BUCKING-?! THE BUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" "HEY, BE QUIET DOWN THERE! I'M WORKING UP HERE!" Rarity yelled from upstairs. "I was actually thinking of using green screen," Trixie mused after a brief period of silence. "Holy buck..." Lyra grumbled under her breath. "So can we just get on with this?" Trixie asked, more annoyed by Lyra's behavior then anything else. "My forelegs are getting tired!" Derpy complained. "Yeah... I guess we should..." Lyra said. "Anyways, just say your lines and act like humans are right over there," Trixie instructed. "Of course..." "Anywho: Yo, Lyra, dawg, how'z it goin'?" Trixie recited her lines. "It's... It's going good!" Lyra began. "I've found the most perfect way to research humans! Getting somepony else to do it for me! BEHOLD!" And thus Lyra beheld, using MAGICK to wheel around so she was facing where the effects would have been, if this had actually been done. Did I mention Lyra did was in charge of adding things in post? Yeah. "Lyra..." Trixie started slowly. "Those are humans..." "What choo on, girl?" Lyra laughed. "Trixie's pretty sure she wasted all her drugs last week," Trixie replied. "And it wore off a day ago." "Oh no, she's improvising!" Derpy whispered to more-or-less herself. "Hey, I know a human when I see one," Lyra retorted, "and these beings told me themselves that they are not!" "So what are?" "Beings!" Lyra answered with a dramatic tone, which enticed Trixie to facehoof. Hard. She'd forgotten about that part. "Hey, here comes one now! His name is Richard, by the way. Starr... Stargazer? I dunno, I call him Apple. What have you got on American pop culture?" Pause. "That's great! And how's the music?" Pause. "Hey, no need to use that language!" Pause. "English-English? OK, I get it." "Trixie didn't realize how weird this would be," Trixie commented quietly to Derpy. "OK, now I see information on human politics," Lyra instructed "Richard". Pause. "No, I don't care what your views are! Give me EVERY HUMAN'S views!" Pause. "Stop speaking English-English and get on with your job! GO!!!... Anyways, yeah, I got it all down pat." "Yeeeeaaaahhh..." Trixie said slowly, looking awkwardly off to the right. "And that was a good take! Don't worry, Lyra, everything will be dealt with in post." "I really bucking hope so..." Lyra growled. She wheeled off after that, making sure to bump into Trixie. "Trixie hopes she calms down soon," Trixie told Derpy when she was sure Lyra couldn't hear here. "I hope so, too," Derpy said before dropping the cam- KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... ==TL.M== "...And so Derpy dropped the camera," Luna, who had been narrating the whole time, finished explaining to the two other Lunas. "Oh dear," Nyx sarcastically said, counting up all her fake bits. "That's terrible. What did they ever do?" "Well, Lyra doth quit-eth between parts," Luna replied, "so Trixie had to go-eth and convince her to come back. The next two parts be-eth directed by Cherilee. Both with different cameras." "Why different cameras?" Gamer Luna asked, getting mad over the fact that she had next to no bits. "Well, that had to rent-eth the first camera, but then that ran out of time," Luna continued, "so they had-eth to get another." "And how did that one turn out?" Nyx enquired. "Thou shalt see when thou doth see it," Luna snapped. "M'kay..." Nyx mumbled. "Ooo! 838,000 bits! How much did you get?" "27," Gamer Luna spat. "I hate these games! Can't we play something on the 360 or something?!" "We did!" Nyx reminded Gamer Luna, MAGICKing up a copy of the Monopoly video game (released 2008). "...DAMN IT!"