//------------------------------// // Try to be a bit less creepy, a bit more friendly, a bit less angry, a bit more nice // Story: Xero's After-the-Final Fight // by The P Co //------------------------------// Xero sat at his desk, writing up new files. He was making a suit of armor for his pony form. A slightly altered design of his human form's armor was enough for the body, but a new headpiece was needed. A mask, with hinges and everything, it was a skull, which covered most of the front of his face, and his muzzle. The lower jaw was fully mobile with his mouth, with sharp, demonic teeth in the form of metal spike-like plates. He had based it off of the 'Ghosts' section of the military, with a cyborg twist and a personal touch. His long, dreadlock-like mane would be protected by a nano fiber weave, which allowed his hairs through, but not blades or bullets. The liberal movement that leather armor provided was not affected by the way it protected him from a surprisingly high amount of things. At least, by 'protect', I mean 'not get hit' He could easily dodge anything, even a shotgun blast or a sniper rifle round, the former is hard because it goes EVERYWHERE! The latter is hard because it goes TOO FAST! Why was he even doing this? He had realized something after the incident with Slendermane. No matter how prepared he was, bad things would happen, preparation only made it easier. His equipment was all ready, his armor was as good as he could get it, his body was more than ready. They say that martial arts skill is like wine, it gets better with age. Xero had been in the martial arts game for 91 years. Old man Miyagi and Bruce Lee would get absolutely fucked up. That being said, the primary purpose of this armor was to protect himself in pony form. Making the final measurements, right down to the finish on the metal of his skull mask being brushed silver, and an algorithm that changed his weapons from pony form locking to human form locking, he set off. The ninja had been requested to help look over the Apple Family Reunion. <> Arriving on the scene, the ninja found only Applejack setting things up. "So, where the bloody hell is everypony?" the brit asked, still in human form. "They're on their way sugarcube, just wait a smidgeon." the orange farmpony replied, nailed a banner to a post. "I see, well then, I'll just get ready myself." the cyborg replied, willing himself into pony form and bringing in his armor. "I don't see why ya need ta-" the usually calm earth pony looked at her friend in fear. "Ooooh, let me guess, the mask is too much?" the armored pony guessed. After an anxious nod from AJ, Xero removed the mask and dismissed it to storage. "Geez, partner, that sure is somethin' scary" the relieved mare remarked, getting back to her tasks. "I would hope so, it IS a scare tactic, after all." the black-with-white-highlights maned stallion responded, looking to a tree and giving it a poke. "Well then, it sure is effective, sugarcube, so, I'm sure yer job will be plenty easy, what with yer experience an' all." AJ assured, setting up a line of baskets for apples. "Yeah, I'm not some stupid genius type, menial and hard labor are pretty easy for me." Xero reassured, giving the tree he was at a hard buck, knocking the apples off of it. "Labor? Xe, I need ya to guard us." the orange mare was a bit worried sounding when delivering this statement. "What? Guarding? Now, Applejack, I'll have you know that I did not join the Royal Guard to guard ponies, I joined it for the power and booze, and the honor, and the service to what I sometimes consider 'my country', and serving Luna, and a lot of stuff actually, but I'm not a guardian, that's not what being a guard is about, I need to go anyways, here's a bucket of apples for my services, and some money." Xero didn't really mean what he was saying, but the joke was too hilarious to pass up. "What? But, but that is completely contradi-, contra-, con-... YER LYIN'."AJ was upset by this development. "You're all a bunch of strong, healthy, earth ponies, you can handle yourselves, I need to be a good brother anyways, my schedule says 'BYFC', here's some payment for my services. See? I'm even paying you for me doing work for you." Xero took to the air and tossed down a few dark bits and his bucket of apples he had bucked. Flying away with intense speed, the british ninja cyborg stallion made his way home. <> Scootaloo walked into the cloud house to find Xero laying on the couch, in pony form, laughing his flanks off. "What's so fucking hilarious?" the orange filly meant well, she wanted to laugh too. "*wheeze* HA HA, o-HA-okay, so-o-*wheeze* so, get this, okay? I go to my errand with Applejack, and turns out, she wants me to be a GUARD for her family reunion. A GUARD, HA HA HA *wheezing laugh* OH SHIT THAT'S FUNNY." the hard breathing stallion explained, his sides being thoroughly removed from laughter. "I don't get it?" Scootaloo was missing the joke. "The joke is that, I'm a Royal Guard, it's literally my job to guard ponies, AND I DIDN'T." the black-with-white-highlights maned pony broke down in laughter again. "Oh, okay then, hey, it's about half an hour until the Best Young Flyer's Competition, we should be heading out now." the purple maned pegasus noted, going behind the couch and pushing her brother off of it. "Right, *ahem* let's go, heh heh heh, it's still funny to me." Xero flared his metal shielded wings and got into a hover, letting his little sister lead the way. Soaring off to Cloudsdale, the siblings were determined to show their skills. Scootaloo would show her skills in flying. Xero would show his skills in taking down corrupt organizations. <> It had been approximately 30 seconds since Scootaloo had signed up for the BYFC. Rainbow Dash glided into the scene, right into the middle of Xero's pep talk "And remember, you're better than them, they're good, your better, they have tricks, you have stunts, they have style, you have more style, the have swag, you have S.W.A.G., which is short for 'Style, Wisdom, Awesomeness, Grace', you got this, sis, you got this, now go in there and WIN THIS SHIT!" the older sibling hyped. Scootaloo gave a salute and glided off to the competitors area. "Wow, that's some pep talk." the spectral maned mare joked, giving her lover a playful punch in the side. "Yeah, I know, now, Dashie, if you'll excuse me, I need to deal with a factory." the soldier was now somber, getting into a hover and looking towards the weather factory. "The Cloudsdale Weather Factory? Why?" the cyan pegasus querried. "Well, let's just say, I hope you don't dye." The stallion smirked at his joke, did a last second check of his equipment, and soared off. He flew for a minute or 2, looking for the big, industrial building, he peered out into the wide blue expanse, finding the giant structure easily. Flying extremely fast, the ninja prepared for what he needed to do. Entering the large, marble-like doors, he dodged the workers with a few quick movements, turning invisible with his special 'Covert Covenant Predator' machine, infinite, like the predator aliens, water-proof, like the covenant aliens, and invisible, like invisible anything. Sneaking past a pair of beefy guards blocking the path to the second floor, the soldier navigated his way up. Coming out into a large room, filled with machines that churned and chugged away, filling the massive chamber with enough noise to overpower the sound of walking. Even if he didn't have his velvet tread and silk aerodynamicism, he would be unheard. Dodging workers, all dressed up in black with red, blue, or yellow manes and tails, he looked for anything exceptionally suspicious. Finding a small, concealing chariot pulling into the room, got close enough to hear what was going on. "Hello failures, welcome to the Weather Factory, floor 2, the Rainbow Sector." a tall dark stallion greeted cruelly. "I am Dr. Atmosphere, you will not talk out of turn and you will follow me when I tell you to." the Dr. explained. "When will we know when it's our tu-" the afraid filly was cut off by an airhorn. A red maned worker stopped working and stood at attention. Dr. Atmosphere shot the attentive worker in the head with a crossbow bolt. "THAT WAS THE AIRHORN, NOT THE WHISTLE YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" the tourettes stallion reprimanded the dead employee. "Find a replacement for 31-A, 31-B and C, keep working." the stout pegasus commanded. "You will follow me, now, if you lag behind, you will be tazed, if you do it again, you get harvested first." his tone was now grave, he turned and walked away, the group following him. Xero was about to follow too, but an errant bolt of lightning from one of the many machines shut his invisibility machine off. A female guard saw him and immediately charged at him. He stopped the charging mare with a hoof applied squarely to her face. "Don't, even, try, bitch." the black clad soldier threatened. "Agh, well then, welcome back, Director A.." the guard pony greeted in a friendly tone "Um, right, I don't think I'll ever understand these, uh, factory greeting procedures." the ninja did not understand what was going on, but 2 things were apparent, his choice of armor style also functioned as a disguise, and he needed to keep the illusion that the disguise provided. "It's for security, Director, to make sure that nopony tries to come in here and imitate you, gaining clearance to the whole facility, allowing them to sneak in and probably take us down from the inside." the unknowing mare had just stated exactly what was happening right now. The guard led Xero down a hallway. "Right, security, well listen, I'm just here to check up on all of the operations, I'm not in the mood to chat." the sneaky stallion informed. "Unlike your lover." the guard joked, giving a giggle. "*ahem* WAT." the brit could not muster a better, more intelligent, or more complex response. "Well, Director G. has requested me to collect you and bring you to her, she wishes to talk to you." the other pegasus explained, opening the door to one of the rooms, a meeting room. "And here she is." the mare said, pushing the stallion into the room and closing the door. Xero was about to respond when a lovely voice greeted his ears. "Ah, Carver, finally, how was your vacation?" a sand coated mare with a green and yellow colored mane and tail greeted, she smelled of spiciness and rain. "Ah, G, it was lovely, how've you been." Xero was stressing now, this mare, whoever she was, was giving him bedroom eyes. The cyborg reluctantly sat down next to her. "I've been good, just a bit riled up in anticipation for the harvest today." G responded, pointing to a pair of goggles slung around her neck by the band. "Ah yes, what's the turnout this time?" Xero had no fucking clue how to respond, he knew that genocide was going on here, but he didn't know how exactly. "Almost 100, our biggest to date." G answered. "I'm not sure whether that's good or bad." Xero contemplated, trying to sound like he was on her side with this. "Well, I know that you're good." G assured, standing up and trotting out of the room, brushing her tail under Xero's chin as she passed him. When she was gone, Xero burned his uppermost neck clean. A few minutes later, he realized that time was a factor at play here, and went to leave. He stopped right as the doorknob turned. Another pony entered, wearing almost the exact same outfit he was wearing. Xero hid behind the door, waiting for the stallion to sit before sneaking up behind him. The mysterious whipped around and pointed a 4 inch long gladius at Xero. "Who are you?" both of them asked at the same time. "Xero Termveli, personal guard of Princess Luna and wielder of the Lunar Zanbato, though I don't have right now." Xero introduced himself, sounding fancy. "Carver Attainer, Director A of the factory, lover of Director G, Glaze, your mistake too, I have a knife." Carver introduced, moving the knife slightly closer. "HA, that's not a knife." Xero laughed, summoning one of the Boomknives, his 9 inch long explosive ballistic knifes with bladed trench grip. "That's a knife." he assessed, sounding as Australian as possible. "Well then." the opposing stallion drew a wheellock pistol. "That's not a pistol either." Xero sat back on his haunches and summoned one of the Joy Colts. "That's a pistol." the brit informed, still sounding australian. Carver Attainer pulled on a ski mask with a skull print. "That's not a mask." Xero rebuked, equipping the Ghost Bone (the metal fear tactic mask). "THAT'S A FUCKING MASK YOU CAN'T WIN HERE YOU CUNT GET IT THROUGH YOUR BLOODY SKULL, I'LL HOOK U IN THE GABBER M8." Xero was just below shouting. With the Joy Colts being silenced, a simple shot and a stab was all it took to kill the real Director A. Taking the body below the floor, Xero walked out for the room, making his way to the room Dr. Atmosphere had gone to. Remembering what direction the stout stallion had faced, he went along the walls and found a hallway. Going down it, he found a room with a thundering black door. Walking through the door without opening it, he turned visible again, and invisible again as soon as possible. The lights were on, a giant machine with a mechanical arm that ended with a knife and a tube, took up a large part of the upper area, a bottom floor held about 8 dozen pegasi, a few had already been processed, pure colors of the rainbow flowed through pipes in the machine, taken to be cleaned, purified, electrolyzed for the neon effect, and sent out all over the country. Flying up to the top of the room, onto one of the suspended pathways, on 1 of them stood Glaze, wearing a black cloak with the hood down. She pulled a lever, which stopped another arm, one with a table that grabbed ponies, and activated the knife arm to drain them of color. Turning visible again, with the eyes of his metal mask glowing with red tech-lenses, he started a song and turned it to environment play. This plays the song like an iPod with no headphones, for example. He could hear Glaze's morale draining out of her bladder. She turned around to see him. What she saw looked something like this Her morale drained twice as fast. Xero raised one hoof, using his coolant to make it ice cold, and stroked her face. Her morale was drained entirely in one large burst. He turned and bucked her upside the chin, dropping her to the bottom floor. He grabbed the lever to turn it to 'grab pony' mode. "HEY GLAZE!" he shouted the 30 feet down, turning into a human again. The sand colored pony looked up. Xero flipped the pegasus off and flipped the lever on. She was grabbed by the table. She was stabbed and drained of color. Xero blasted the machine with the Judgement Blades. The Rainbow Harvester 11.1 blew up. The top floor of the facility quietly collapsed. Xero killed off all of the corrupt workers and guards. The pegasi were freed. Xero quickly flew to the BYFC. He still had to see Scoots's performance. <> Constructing a better way of harnessing rainbows, Xero snuck into the deluxe viewer hallway. He was tackled. The crazed mare that faced him was completely grey, he knew who it was immediately. Glaze had survived the stab, evident from the stab wound on her stomach area. He kicked her off of his body and pinned her, mutilating her neck and crushing her spine, eviscerating her head, and mining her face with the pickaxe-type blade of the Light Arrow's crossbow upgrade. Disintegrating the body, the british ninja cyborg soldier black-with-white-highlights haired human stood up again, walking calmly to his balcony seat. Requesting a glass of fine, strong liquor, he watched some poor sap spin out while trying to make a tornado. Recieving a glass of clear liquid, he asked what it was. "It's Rain Strain, sir, genuine pegasus liquor, a fermented mixture of rain water,sugar, and spice, basically, it has rainbow tint to it because of crystal refraction and color absorbtion, it's the 4th most requested liquor by her Royal Highness, the majestic Princess Luna." the waiter explained. "Right behind what, what, and what?" Xero was curious, he did not know that Luna was an alcoholic. "After 4th, which, again, is Rain Strain genuine pegasus liquor, is 3rd, Starswirl Vodka, classic unicorn made, magic infused citrus water, 2nd, Applejack Daniels, Apple Family old time whiskey, and 1st, Gentle Ager's blueberry wine, from Great Brimain." the servant listed. "Okay, I'm surprised you know this." Xero remarked. "Why would I not? I am, after all, the princess's Royal Booze Fetcher, one of the most recent additions to the Royal Services, right after Royal Personal Guard Squad and right before Royal Regalia Maintainer, though the latter makes more sense, seeing as how our ruler is immortal and does not need additional protection besides her own power." the humble stallion monologued. "Cool, sod off, because I'm the former, and I get pissed off really easily." the soldier commanded. "Of course, sir." the pony obeyed, backing away and trotting away. The swordsman looked back, the poor sod was gone, replaced by Scootaloo, just now coming out. *CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP* "I thought I said SOD OFF!" the tourettes man rebuked. "I don't know what sod is, Xe." it was Rainbow Dash, and she was giggling. "Ah, Dashie, the only good instance of seeing a rainbow I've had all day." the soldier joked, taking a deep drink of his glass of Rain Strain. "Getting drunk already, I see." the cyan mare noted, taking a seat next to the raymanian human. "I love booze, what can I say? Come on, Scootaloo's starting." the cyborg informed, scooting his seat forward to get a better look. The pair watched the orange filly, she looked so grown up, from filly size to almost full size in only 2 years. Her movements were filled with skill and joy, a whole 1 minute had passed and she had already done 10 laps around the cloudiseum. She turned upside-down, and made an upside-down tornado, something that most professionals wouldn't even concieve the thought of, and even less could actually do it. Compiling a metric shit-tonne of clouds into a super-ultra-mega cloud, compressing it down to an extremely small, black form, she struck it, sending out a shockwave and about a hundred powerful bolts of lightning. Drawing the Shankers, her knives, she made art, an image of the night sky. Then, as the final part of her act, she flew up extremely high, leaving her massive artwork about 300 meters above the cloudiseum. She was practically in space right now, she could have sworn she could hear beautiful singing. "I'm so high, I can hear heaven." she whispered, before folding her wings in and diving down. She dived fast and hard. (Just fucking imagine Felix Baumgartner, okay?) Right as she passed the artwork, she broke the sound barrier. It was still... ...... The Sonic Starboom. Everypony was shocked speechless, then burst into deafening cheers and applause. Scootaloo slowed herself down and expertly did a 180 turn to go up, using the momentum to launch herself back up to the cloudiseum. She hovered in the middle of it all, taking in the applause. A set of clouds were moved in to act as platforms, Scootaloo stood on 1 of them, a bit shaky and fatigued from her performance. "Well, Scootaloo, it's absolutely wonderful to see that 'being an awesome flyer' runs in the family." Luna greeted cheerfully, levitating the BYFC winner's tiara, shaping the gold piece at the top into a 5 pointed star, just like the centerpiece of the purple maned filly's cutie mark. "That was bloody awesome sis." Xero praised as he walked up onto the scene "Great work, Scoots." RD gave her own praise, rustling the younger pegasus's purple mane. Scootaloo's eyes lit up in delight. "Come on Scoot, finest liquor in all the world, on me." Xero said, getting into a hover. "Do you mean...." Luna was happy to join in. "Yep, Gentle Ager's blueberry wine." the cyborg answered. The group did a 4-way hoof bump, Xero turning to pony form just for that, and they all set off. <> "So, from the top, we don't drink alcohol, we drink spirits, so we're not alcoholics, we're spiritualists." Xero philosophized, taking another long drink of the blueberry wine. "Right, which makes what we're drinking good for us, body and soul." Scootaloo continued. "And no matter how much, we'll be okay, because we're all strong like that." RD added her own line. "Plus, we can't forget, delicious=nutritious." Luna recited her line. "And this shit is cunt-fucking tasty." Xero finished, slamming back a whole bottle. And they drank, and drank, and drank. And drank, until they passed out. When Xero awoke again, he noticed that he was the first one to rise. Taking the duty of fetching water, the black clad man first needed to find out where the hell the group ended up. Looking around the hallway, he found that they were at the castle. Walking to a window, the soldier saw that he was in the SG4 sector, for the Class 4 Generals. Seeing a servant making rounds to check on any requests, the cyborg called out to her. "Oi, you there." Xero half-shouted. "Ah, General Xero, is there something you need?" the servant asked sweetly. "Yes, be a dear and fetch me 4 liters of water." the brit ordered. "I'm sorry, but I'm not familiar with that measurement, sir." the mare replied apologettically. "Ugh, fine then, sorry if I'm being rude, I have a bit of a hangover, get 4 gallons of water, and add some mint and analgesics to them as well." "Alright, I'll have it to you in a few minutes, sir." the servant assured, taking off to the kitchen. Xero smiled, the authority he had was nice. Re-entering his bedchamber, he prepared a song to punish the 3 mares for not waking up sooner. Getting ready to activate his speakers, Scootaloo raised her head and looked at him. "I swear, if you RickRoll us, I'm going to punch you." the orange filly threatened. "Please, sis, I'm much to advanced for something so simple." the cyborg dismissed. He activated the speakers. His sister, his lover, and his princess all woke up immediately. "DUBROLLED BITCHES!" he shouted over the very loud song. The 3 mares groaned in pain. A few seconds after the song ended, there was a knock on the door. A strong looking stallion carrying Xero's order of mint and painkiller water was standing there. "Thanks dude." the young general said in gratitude, grabbing each container and closing the door with his foot. "Number 1 hangover cure, water, and shit, but not shit though, that's nasty and doesn't help with anything." the black clad human announced. Turning the corner to the main room of his chamber, it was like a hotel room, a small area for storing food and water, like half of a kitchen, a bathroom on 1 side, and the main room was also the bedroom. He saw Scootaloo clipping the Shankers, her awesome combat knives with curved blade and serrated back, to the Cappers, her .50 AE 10 round mag Deagles. The end result was like a badass bayonetting. Rainbow Dash was stretching her wings, legs, neck, and everywhere else on her body. Luna had her magic flared up, probably casting some type of healing spell on herself. "Oi, got a bit o' ethanol, set a fire, put it out with water, got some water, I have no idea what the hell I'm even saying, but drink up." the brit had attempted too much thinking in his somewhat dehydrated and hungover state. The group of 4 downed the entirety of the water in a few minutes. "Alright, so, now that that's over with, let's either do something else, or go home." the man of many titles announced. "Well, I'm already home, and I need to get back to my duties as sole ruler of the land, farewell, my beloved subjects." Luna assessed, trotting away. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo waved goodbye. Xero did a gesture, a large circle, several dots, and an odd top-heavy wisp, it was the Lunar Guard equivalent of the cross gesture. A moon, with craters and her majesty's head on it. It was time to leave. Not one to neglect basic skills, Xero took to the ground and parkour/ninja maneuvered his way across the city, keeping his hands constantly flipping off the ponies that he so eloquently referred to as 'posh fuckwits'. Approaching the edge of Canterlot, he did a trick-dense jump into the air, landing lightly on his feet again, the cyborg jumped over the city limits. Keep in mind that the 'city limits' are the edges of the platform that Canterlot is built on. Meaning he basically just jumped off of a cliff. Falling aerodynamically, he flared his wings and took the wind by the reins and beat it into submission. It was a rush that he did NOT want to give up, and he never would. He couldn't help but feel like he had forgotten something. Something heavy and sharp. No, not the Masamune, no, not the Lunar Zanbato, what was it? He had all the time he needed to figure it out. He wasn't going anywhere. He was at home, here in Equestria. Xero had finally accepted that he wasn't going to wake up in hell, or back on earth, or in limbo, or some other shit like that. Equestria was his home, his place, his country. And he loved his country.