This chapter was written by Jake Roberts.
Dear Princess Cadance,
Recently, my marefriend, Applejack and I learned a very important lesson in love. We...
Rainbow scrutinized the paper, deep in thought. Eventually, she gave up and spat out the pen.
"Hey, Applejack," she called to her lover across the kitchen. "What did we learn throughout this?"
AJ turned around from the sink. "Beg your pardon?"
"Oh, Twilight said that Princess Cadance would like a letter from us explaining what we learned about love. So... what did we learn?"
Applejack cocked an eyebrow. "Uhh... uh, gimme a minute." Applejack paced in a circle and scratched her head. "I—uh... I got nothin'."
"Exactly! I mean, let's run through what we've been through!"
"Okay, ya'll convinced me to go to Tartarus."
"You wore a Daring Do costume. Thanks, for that, by the way."
AJ waved a hoof. "T'aint nothin' to it. Anyway, then we went out to the desert."
"Changelings came, I almost died."
"Eeyup. Then I was all desperate to save ya."
"And then... everything's kind of a blur after that."
"Yeah, well you was passed out 'n stuff for the most part." AJ shook her head furiously. "It's all kinda a blur for myself. I thought I was dead, and I met my parents, but I was too worried about ya to care... to be honest, I kinda checked out after the evil filly showed up."
"Evil filly?"
"Yeah... don't ask, 'cause I ain't got no idea, myself."
"So we basically learned nothing?"
"We'll... Changelings are jerks, and Tartarus sucks."
"Ooh, that's good!"
Dear Princess Cadance,
Tartarus sucks and Changelings are jerks.
"Perfect! Wanna get lunch?"
"Eeyup."
The two lovers exited the kitchen and set out for town.
...and that's all she wrote.
Go away.