//------------------------------// // 2. Veracity of Memory // Story: The Clockwork Heaven // by Leliel //------------------------------// Ponies painting walls at the top of a tall building were, generally, not all that interesting. This was not due to any flaw on the part of ponies who were generally hired to paint the top of buildings, but because (a) painters generally tended to be missed to begin with, and (b) very little effort is expended on putting anything interesting where only giraffes could see it (which would probably be specist, where it not for the fact that giraffes were not sapient and generally did not live in places where tall buildings were built). This was not an exception, because the interesting thing was not the wall Hayseed Turnip Truck was currently painting or even Hayseed himself, but the paint can he was currently using. For the most part, this paint can was not particularly special. It was a perfectly ordinary can of biodegradable quick-dry off-white paint, and was only remarkable for its lack of toxicity. It was, however, flawed in a single, critical way that was also not special-one of the hinges on the handle was slightly unmored from the rest of the bucket. How this handle became unhinged is something of an interesting story in and of itself, involving a cargo truck, a rogue sandwich wrapper, a small bit, a loud noise, and an inspector who honestly didn't see anything wrong with the fallen can and was friends with the driver of said cargo truck, so the paint can was sent to the store as was. It wasn't even the fact that, when Hayseed went to pick up the can to replace a spent one, the handle suddenly came completely unhinged, surprising the painter and causing his jaw to drop, resulting in the can tumbling in such a way that the lid was torn off as the can turned over, the only reason why paint wasn't spilling being that it was traveling down at the same rate the can was. No, what was special about this can would be the effect it would have on the world below it, but more immediately, on the draconequus currently annoying DJ Pon-3, also known as Vinyl Scratch, by using his magic to change all her tracks to the World's Worst Hit Song list from an alternate dimension made by a shadowy humanoid on a massive communication network. "Oh, where's your sense of fun, Pon-3? And I thought the kind of mare that would create a stage name so difficult to pronounce would be fun." Discord's eyes suddenly widened in mock fear. "A-an-and if you're not fun, then that means th-that you're a fictional ch-character, like Santa Cloven, and, i-if you're l-like Santa, then you're n-not real, b-but you're here and ta-talking so th-th-that means you're a...you're a....gho-!" "Singing about somepony pretending his girlfriend was dead because he doesn't want to admit they split isn't my idea of 'fun'." Vinyl squinted at the records now bearing the grinning face of the Spirit of Disharmony (partially reformed). "And...seriously, what is this self-centered Eurotrash teeny-bop dung? Well, it's good to see self-centered flankhats are a gender-neutral thing in this world you've got. And then there's Ms. Obvious Has-Been and Lord Bad Lyrics over here." "Hey, don't knock the overpaid sell-outs! They even provided a way to forget the bad song via said lyrics!" Vinyl turned even whiter than normal. "No no no for the love of Sun please no!" Grinning sadistically, Discord drew in a massive breath, even inflating himself like a balloon to get his point across. "AAAAHHHHHH YYYEEEEAHHH BAA-" Thankfully for Vinyl's ears (and those of everyone else in Canterlot, including non-ponies), the paint can completed the one act of real significance it ever would. ACK! BLEECH! HACK! What was quite possibly the worst taste in the world, with a chaser of cheap metal can, proceeded to ruthlessly march down the back of his throat. Vinyl was barely able to hold a straight face long enough for her quip. "Hey Discord! You might want to scream for help to get that out!" Discord would probably quip right back, except he was too busy negotiating with the paint-induced lack of air to notice. Not that this was that bad for an immortal spirit of chaos, but it was still disorientating if sudden. Retching, Discord fell onto the streets below, writing in pain and nausea, sending random bolts of chaotic, shapechanging energy everywhere. Eventually, the pain subsided, and slowly, unsteadily, the dracoequus got to his feet. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? DISCORD, THOU SHALT EXPLAIN WHY THE BAKERY WE WERE SHOPPING AT TURNED INTO A HOT DOG-!" The nausea did not, however. Discord had the "wonderful" sensation of the taste going the wrong way, then the world went black. Thankfully for Discord, that last rogue chaos bolt drained enough out of him for him to sink into nausea-free unconsciousness. "SISTER, THOU SHALT EXPLAIN WHY THE DRACOEQUUS IS NOT CURRENTLY A STATUE ON THE MOON! Hm. Luna screaming at the top of her Royal Canterlot Voice that he should be sent back to her own former place of residence, preferably petrified, and so enraged she was back to fairy tale grammar. Good, that meant it was still Tuesday. Well, that or he had been out for a week, but it took time for her to get worked up like this. Groggily, Discord forced himself back to the land of the waking, his surroundings (a very large hospital room and bed) swimming into view. "Now, Luna, I know you and Discord have had disagreements in the past-" "THE PLATONIC FORM OF UNDERSTATEMENT-" "-but this time it really wasn't his fault." "'WAS NOT HIS FAULT'!? IS THOU NOT BEING IN JEST!? OR IS THOU'S AFFECTIONS FOR HIM CLOUDING THY JUDGEMENT, AGAIN?" "That was before his pranks started leaving lasting scars, and I never mentioned-" "APPARENTLY HE LEFT LASTING LASTING MARKS AS WELL, ON THOU'S BRAIN!" "While I normally am not particularly quarrelsome with a catfight..." Discord, enough of his faculties returned to teleport to the sound of the Princesses (it wasn't far enough to merit one, but it was more attention-grabbing), proceeded to insert himself into the literal middle of the arguing rulers. "I am trying to behave myself, and thus am morally obligated to give lessons. Well, that and even on my worst days I would never turn family against itself and view this could-possibly-be-interpreted-as-a-love-triangle-by-someone-who-sees-the-world-like-that argument as offensive to my personal aesthetics. But mostly the former." A graduate cap materialized on top of the draconequus' head, and he turned to Celestia, effecting his best 'teacher' voice. "Now, young Celly, I know you only mean the best for me, but Luna's distrust is understandable. In all fairness, I am a bit skeptical myself, and am mainly being restrained by disapproval of a certain pegasus until I learn how to focus my chaos into more socially acceptable outlets. As it is, she may not have good reason to be angry with you, but you cannot disagree that she doesn't have bad ones to be angry at me." He turned around. "Now, younger Luna I...know..." The sound of a needle scratching heralded the end of the 'lesson learned' background music, followed shortly by suppressed sniggering. "I know that I will get demerits for this, but *snicker* I can't keep a straight face." Discord pulled on the string of the graduation cap causing it to invert and turn into a bowler as the cane attached to the chord came out. "Nightmare Moon, your plan to impersonate your sister needs work. Like, for example, the fact she wears an actual crown and not what you'd expect on a megalomaniac with nothing but moon-dust to her OH WAIT." Unable to hold onto his mirth any longer, Discord collapsed into tears of laughter. "IT IS NOT FUNNY!" Luna shot a murderous glare at Celestia, which would probably be more intimidating where it not for the paint can glued by dried paint to the top of her head. "IT WILL TAKE US WEEKS TO GET THIS ABOMINABLE SHADE OF ALABASTER OUT OF OUR MANE!" "Ohhh, don't feel too bad, Lulu," Discord managed to get out between snickers. "Think of the specks as a newly discovered variety of white dwarf. Not unlike your brief singing career!" "WE HAD ALLERGIES THAT NIGHT! THE CRYSTAL STATUE BEING SHATTERED WAS NOT OUR FAULT!" Discord laughed even harder. "Ahem." Suddenly reminded of Celestia's continued existence, Discord turned around. "Oh thank the Sun! Princess! Please, you must save Equestria from the madness of this fashion catastrophe!" "While I don't dispute that at all," (Luna groaned), "actually that would be the reason why Luna is angry at with you." "Well, I would consider this a representative of one of my 'rejected ideas' pile as a makeup-" A penny dropped from Discord's ear. "Wait, angry at me?" "YES, ANGRY WITH THOU! YOU DID THIS." "Whoa. Time out. I did this? I mean, I respect the pony who did, but me?" "YOU LYING PILE OF STABLE-wait." Luna's eyes stopped glowing. "You're not claiming credit?" "No. Unless you consider 'following a most spectacular example' credit, in which case I must humbly turn down stealing the credit and instead must request my student to mention me as much as possible. Have to stay famous somehow." "Oh." Luna stared blankly for a second, then began to smile. "Oh." "...Your Highness? Why are you grinning like me? I'm not contagious, am I?" "Discord, my sister is talking about-" "Your stomach vented this on me." "WHAAAAAAA-?" Still giving that sadistic smirk, Luna suddenly pulled out a newspaper with the photographic proof on it. "You have to respect Shutter Bug. Always quick on the draw." This time, Discord's silence was because he honestly could not think of a comeback. "I...well...um...oh, this is embarrassing...I...er....uh......." Discord looked pleadingly at the other Princess, and only found proof that yes, he was transmissable. "Ehhhhhhh......" The Spirit of Disharmony grinned sheepishly. "Why is the ground black?" Now it was Luna's turn to laugh hysterically, even falling to the floor. Discord had nothing for this, except to turn his cane black and his bowler a somber grey. "If you don't mind me, I'll be at the graveyard....mourning my dignity...." Looking utterly defeated, Discord slunk back to his bedroom. Luna's pearls of laughter ringing out behind him. A moment later, Celestia followed. "I said I was mourning! It's an immensely personal affair, especially away from cameras for the next month!" "Well, you'll be glad to hear you won't need suffer the death of your social life alone. Hayseed Turnip Truck sends both his condolences and a free shipment of his self-grown produce as an apology. He says he'll invest in a fall guard." "Oh, that's nice of the murderer-hold on a minute." Discord was suddenly not slumping. "'Turnip'? Aren't they the Apple Clan's branch family?" "Yes, but I don't see how-" Celestia's eyes widened as she realized exactly what Discord was thinking. "Er, I mean, no! The Turnips are very much not a branch of a family that is definitely not related to Applejack, and if they were, I am sure that they would very much not-er, very much would-like a repainting job!" "You know, even if you weren't trying to dissuade me, I would go back to old habits just for poor grammar completely reversing the intended message by my successors. Not a very royal thing to do." Celestia winced as she realized the double negative. "But, you know, since they are such fans of painting..." Discord yanked the handle off the cane, revealing a brush, then slammed the handle on his hat, turning the handle into a color palate and the bowler into a beret. "I vould say ze vhere in need of za fine artistes of Prance, non?" Celestia fired a beam at Discord, only to hit a canvas with the words "Ce n'est pas un bouclie." on it. The draconequus blew a kiss, painted his mustache black, then left through a painted door in the wall which he threw remover on as he passed through. Celestia stared at the dissolving door, then gave an exasperated sigh. "Time to send a letter...." Chapter 2: Veracity of Memory Applejack generally considered herself a patient pony. Well, okay, not precisely patient, but being a farmer taught her how to value to ability to wait. At the best of times, the apples did not require any work, and thus waiting was all there was, while at other times, there was waiting and working, which was actually better, as one could work instead of wait. Still, Applejack considered the wait it took for her friends to show up and help kick out her extremely unwelcome guest to be rather long. "Oui! Oui! Magnifique, mon ami! " Although that was at least partially because said guest made anything seem rather long. "Very good, petit rodentz! Make those treez as beaoutiful as the hills of le old country!" The farmer wasn't sure what was worse, the fact that Discord had apparently decided that what Sweet Apple Acres really needed was a change in color palates, having enlisted a colony of squirrels to help him, or the ridiculous Prench accent that wasn't sure what area of the nation it was from. Indeed, the more Applejack listened, the more sure she became that it was either because he was mocking her own, or that he had never actually met a Prench pony. More likely both. Under normal circumstances, it would undoubtedly be the accent, but the draconequus apparently didn't think much of "le old country". The silver lining of this whole situation was that Applejack was discovering an inherent ability to appraise art, which would no doubt thrill Rarity. She could already tell the red-and-dark-orange candy stripes on the trees looked awful, especially when taken with green, yellow, and brown leaves and randomly polka-dotted apples. The fact that Discord regularly broke pattern and made a tree to a completely different standard with no rhyme or reason to the trees around it didn't help. "Fantastique! Excellent! Moi's masterpiece, 'Le Polisson de Vengeance zhall soon be a treasure for ze ages!" It was kind of up in the air, though. On the plus side, it appeared that Discord had restricted his mischief to merely painting the orchard rather than actually fiddling with reality again. Applejack also recognized the paint as the biodegradable quick-dry version (and if Discord eating one of the apples was an indication, a digestible version), and while she was definitely not happy, this was a long way from drowning, and then freezing said farm. Thus, she and her siblings, rather than try to minimize the damage and get painted as well, merely watched the show impatiently from a convenient hill. "What do ya think is takin' them so long, sis?" "Dunno. Last I heard they were lookin' for Fluttershy, but were havin' a hard time. I'm goin' to give her the benefit o' the doubt and assume that she just was involved in somethin' else and that she's not intentionally delayin' because of her freindship with Ol' Man Mixed-Up Bits over there," "Applejack! That's terrible." "I know, Bloom. I don't believe it neither, but it's awfully temptin' to. That way I can complain at her." "Ya mean like that time me an the other Cutie Mark Crusaders got bakin' soda instead of flower and we had that big fight even after we discovered it was the salespony?" "Ee-yup." "It's not a nice thing to do, but it does make the problem seem less bad if ya can blame somepony and think you might be able to fix it by whinin' to them. Besides Discord, but he can make my muzzle disappear before I get the chance." "Sorry we're late!" The sound of cantering and flapping wings heraled the arrival of the other Elements. Rainbow Dash was, naturally, the first. "Holy smokes, you will not believe the places we had to go to find Fluttershy." Twilight arrived soon after, her mane a collection of burs. "Note to self: If there is a suspicious batch of bushes that animals stay away from, you are an animal." Fluttershy landed next. "I'm sorry. I had to check on the hummingbirds," she squeaked. Finally, Rarity. "Oh my, that is hideous! Those shades simply do not get along." Teleporting out a few burs, Twilight revealed the Element box. "All right, girls. Discord isn't being as bad as he was before, but we probably need to remind him of what happens when he starts messing with ponies, even tangentially." The necklaces and tiara set were quickly doled out. "Thankfully, he seems to be busy with painting the orchard right now, so all we need to do is sneak up on him, give him a quick blast, and turn, say, his tail to stone? Should be enough to get him to stop." The siblings not Applejack nodded, then quietly hid behind a bush. Slowly, surely, the Elements snuck up on the Spirit of Disharmony, who was currently engrossed in the construction of a painting of a game of tic-tac-toe between his hands, with every X and 0 lovingly and slowly sketched out and shaded in. The Elements began to glow and levitate..... FZZZZT! FZZ-ZZT! "Wait, that doesn't sound-" BANG! "RIIIIIIGGGGHHHT!" Rainbow was catapulted backwards and down, sending her straight into a tree in the process of being painted, causing the surprised squirrels to drop their supply on her. Applejack tried to laugh the now polka-dot and striped mare through the soot covering her, then passed out. "Mirror! MIRROR!" Rarity ran off to the nearest stream to assess the damage the explosion did to her mane. Or rather, mohawk. Twilight's own mane and tail flowed up, crackling with multicolored hues of lighting. Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen, except for a suspiciously shivering bush. As for Discord, the sudden noise had distracted him,causing his initial drawing of an X blocking an O line to be disrupted. The O hand took this opportunity to steal the pencil and sketch an O in its place, drawing a winner's line through it. The X hand pulled out a miniature sign with the word CHEAT on it, to which the other hand shrugged. Looking rather annoyed, Discord turned around. "Young femmes, as much fun it vould be to play with you vright now, zhe art requires a certain amount of, peace, shall ve say? Vell, not zhe peace, considering moi, but..." "Discord, please drop the accent. I'm not sure if you're sure what country you're trying to parody." Rarity was still busy combing her mane into its proper shape. "Yes, that does get a bit tiring after a while, doesn't it." The beret became a bowler cap. "But still, you successfully managed to ruin this modern-day masterpiece in the making that took me all of ten minutes to draw." His face became a crocodile's. "I am not the monster of this story...." He sobbed exaggeratedly into a tissue. "Okay...that was not supposed to happen." Rainbow Dash, trying to look as dignified as she could. "No, but it's what should happen. That's what counts!" "Oooh....What in tarnation went wrong with that?" Applejack unsteadily got to her hooves, shedding soot as she did. "Seemed a lot like a harmonic imbalance to me." Twilight winced as the static zapped her as she tried to smooth it out, before remembering she had magic for a reason. "Somepony didn't charge their element properly." "I'm sorry!" "Not your fault, Fluttershy." Twilight, hair now safe, took off her own Element and inspected it. "Honestly, the only reason the spell matrix would overload like that would be if one of them...wasn't.....activated." Twilight glanced at the draconequus. "Discord, why do you look like that?" The 'like that' in question was a look of utter deadpan and disapproval, the expression one gets when he is about to point out a fact so profoundly obvious that one would have to be a complete and utter idiot to not notice, and yet he has noticed it before the person he is talking to. "Oh me? Nothing. I'm just wondering what the Elements had the day they chose you, and if I can have some." "Uh...Discord? From our perspective, this is a very subtle failure on the part of the Elements that will take months if not years to diagnose and fix, during which you and every other monster that needs them has free reign. We don't have immortal-chaos-spirit knowledge where we can know what it is with a glance." "Well, if it's a cascade failure in her ability to plan her schedule months if not years in advance, that would be understandable." "Um...if I may...to whom are you referring to?" Rarity interjected. Relief surged through Discord's body. If they were being this obtuse, it had to be a joke. "Actually, now that I think of it...I'm having a difficult time remembering myself...let's see, sort of normal-sized, earth pony, has a poofy mane that occasionally deflates when she's feeling down...?" Discord took off the bowler hat and revealed a wild, mad scientist hairdo as he stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Ain't ringing any bells, sorry." "Hm....I remember something about her being pink....extremely bouncy....and hiding in that tree!" Discord caused said suspected tree to turn transparent via paint remover, revealing a lot of irritated squirrels, but no pony. "Dang." "Discord, I have no idea what the hay you're talking about, son." "EUREKA! PINKIE PIE!" Discord grinned (and covered his head for any flying party projectiles). Nothing. Rainbow Dash squinted. "Um, excuse me?" "Well, I was preparing myself for the prank the Element of Laughter had prepared, but unfortunately, her sense of comedic timing wasn't as good as she thinks-" "The what of what, dear?" Huh? Discord stared at Rarity. "The Element of Laughter? Pinkie Pie?" Still no peep, apart from confusion from all of the Elements. "Um, guys, are you hearing this correctly?" "Or more accurately, not hearing?" "If y'all mean he moves his mouth and all ya hear is a weird scratchin' noise, sure." "Discord, are you feeling okay?" HUH??? All of Discord's altered features-the brush, the hair, the canvas-disappeared. "...Okay....If you don't mind, will you please repeat these words for me?" "Um..okay." "All right, partner." "Give me all you got!" "I play this game with Sweetie all the time! ...Ask her, not me." "Please don't shout." "Okay then...Pinkie" "Pinkie." "Pie." "Pie." "Pinkie Pie." "Krssh." The Spirit of Disharmony did a double take. Hooves were held up in the air. "All right....now how about the parrot?" Discord created said parrot out of thin air, not bothering with his usual panache. "*squawk* Pinkie Pie" "Squawk, krssh." Discord was beginning to feel sick again. "All right class, now can any of you read this?" Again, the paper with the words "Pinkie Pie" and "Element of Laughter" on it was simply brought into being, no comedic flourish. Twilight squinted. And squinted. And squinted. "These designs look like letters, but I can't place the language at all." Rainbow giggled nervously. "Okay, Discord? You're starting to creep us out. I read the news, and you have every right to be mad, but you've had you revenge now. Could you like, stop, before I get actually scared?" Discord was actually sweating now. "Girls, I wish I could. Please hold still for a second, I'm going to check for something..." Cradling his head to help concentrate, the draconequus let his mind slip out of his body, connected only by a silver cord. Concentrating further, he shifted from the incorporeal state of Twilight to Astral Space, the realm of thoughts and dreams. More than that, he looked at the confused minds of the Elements, and the strange, shifting and difficult to perceive thoughtform affecting their minds. Tugging on his cord, he entered the mazelike fabric of the emotional and mystical Resonance composing the thoughtform, and hurriedly began to pilfer through it and its history etched in the flow of time, hoping against hope that the thing he was looking for was not here. Please. Be anything else. Please. Be a malevolent spirit, an angry and powerful ghost, a being from the Lower Depths, a fae, an Astral archetype of forgetting, hell, even an Abyssal intrusion, just...not.... The Fates, it seemed, were not with Discord. For at the very beginning of its history, there was an unmistakable Resonance that generated the toxic, memory-censoring thoughtform, was the sight of gears and cogs, the sound of pistons and steam, the feel of electricity, metal, and data. Calm. Orderly. Efficient. Familiar. In the shock, it was amazing that Discord remembered to run, tearing out the memory filter at its moorings as he did, preventing detection from the greater intelligence ultimately responsible for its creation. Yanking on the silver cord as hard as he could, Discord returned to his body so fast he could feel the impact as a physical thing. "It's here....the Machine is here...." A strange sensation, like oil being washed off skin, reverberated throughout the Element bearers and the Apple siblings. As it did so, the words on the page gradually became more comprehensible. Twilight looked at it again. "Oh yeah, Pinkie Pie! Duh. Boy am I a silly filly. I mean just because she's been gone for...two.....months....." The horrible sense of comprehension came next. "Two....months...." If Twilight had been scared, Rarity was nearing raw panic. "We...forgot who Pinkie was....we...forgot she existed..." Applejack gave a laugh that was somewhere between a mad giggle and hysterics. "Big Mac! That was a real nice herb you mixed in with the apple sauce this mornin'! I mean, you did mix somethin' in, right!?" "Nope." Big Mac sounded very small, trying to keep the fear out of his voice as Apple Bloom clung to him increasingly tightly. "...what else have we forgotten?" Rainbow Dash looked at her hoof with a thousand yard stare. "...am I even me?" "...I'm scared." As the ponies slowly succumbed to raw fear and existential dread, Discord could only stare blankly at nothing. It's here....it's here....it's here... By the time Discord brought himself out of his own panic attack, the ponies were in a terrified, sobbing ball. Thankfully for all involved, one of Discord's virtues was his mental fortitude. It did not take long for him to go from "war flashback" to "his definition of normal" at all. Of course, it took a bit longer for the equines, but thanks to many floating white gloves with the words CALM DOWN printed on them, they were snapped back to reality long enough for the Spirit of Disharmony to break down the problem into more manageable chunks. The fact that they were now in the nice, cozy setting of the Apple farm helped. Still rubbing her cheeks after the gloves needed extra calming sessions, Dash spoke first. "So....you're saying that nothing else was changed? Only our ability to remember Pinkie?" "Well, technically nothing changed so much as something was inserted. My guess is that the a....agency which created the memory block was planning on returning Pinkie at some point, then removing the using the memory filter to actually create memories of her being on a vacation, in hers included. Since I had my disagreement with the filter and now it is currently busy being scrap dream, there isn't going to be any lingering effects. I made sure of that." Discord pulled out a strange set of cogs that may have once been a mechanism. "Isn't that right, scrap dream?" "So...I'm really Rainbow Dash? I'm not some robot who was put here to spy on my friends so that the evil alien overlords know exactly what to do to defeat them and then put their brains in cylinders in order to do their paperwork?" "...I have to see that movie someday. And no." Dash released the breath she had been holding ever since before the slap session. "Well. That's a relief. I really didn't want the Fastest Flier in Equestria title to be due to hidden rocket engines or something. Can you imagine the tabloids?" "It's good too see your priorities are straight, Dashie." Rarity, apparently, did not get the concept of making light of a situation via humor. Of course, the good feelings couldn't last forever, and it was Applejack that finally brought up the obvious. "Uh, Discord? What agency? I heard ya swap the words out at ta last second." Discord proceeded to remain silent. "Come on, Discord? If there's been someone messin' with our minds, it would be kind nice of ya ta tell us?" Apple Bloom gave her best puppy impersonation. "If I was sure you wouldn't lose your minds, my little pony, I would." Big Mac said nothing, only panted and barked a couple times before gazing on in disbelief. "Permanently, I mean. I admit I was a little upset that I had to break out instead of being let out, but I was planning on putting things back the way they were." A pause. "Well, recognizably, at least. I actually gave that magic of mine a definite duration, and I just thought it had timed out when you girls had gone back to being colored." "While that was nice of you, you're still avoiding the issue," Twilight piped up. "I think I and the girls would love to know exactly what took our friend and then hid all evidence of her existence." Discord looked extremely uncomfortable. After about a minute, he spoke, choosing his words carefully and plainly. "Twilight, look. I can't tell you...because if I do, you'll never be able to sleep again." "Huh?" "This...thing, I'm talking about. It's something very old, very powerful, and very subtle. It's a lot like a giant spider, bigger than you, bigger than me, bigger than even the Princesses. Its schemes can thread through everything, and quickly incorporate anything that barely resembles it, and at no point does the things it influences need become aware of it until it's too late to do anything. If you start learning about it, learning about the causal way it uses and destroys lives to suit its agenda, you'll start seeing evidence of its network everywhere, even in things that it isn't aware of or things it will not use. You'll grow paranoid and obsessed, always suspecting other ponies of being its agents or assets, and politics of being another step in its plans. You'll sacrifice your ties to everything, friends, family, even that baby dragon, just so it won't take advantage of you. Soon, the only thing left will be you trying to scratch the surface, trying to find out what it's planning next, and how you can either fight it, avoid it, or try to find some way to benefit from it. You may even give up hope entirely, and come to willingly serve it, just so you feel safe." "Ever heard the saying 'ignorance is bliss'? In this case, this is actually a good idea. For the love of the Sun, Twilight Sparkle, don't try to understand it. You'll just cause yourself pain, and you won't end up knowing anything concrete. It's a fool's errand, something you should avoid until utterly necessary." There was a dead silence in the Apple farm, as Discord had nothing more to say, and the ponies could not think of anything to reply to Discord turning dead serious in the service of apparent compassion. Eventually, Rainbow Dash spoke up. "So...that's it? 'Pinkie's been kidnapped by a cosmic horror that I am not going to explain because I'm afraid we're in a Haymitch P. Lovework story, and I guess we're stuck then?' Because if that's what you're saying, I don't care! I'm going to go there, find a way to save her, freaky-chessmaster-spider-outer god or not!" "Actually, that's only mostly true. I'm going to save her." A chorus of "WHAT?" rang out from the equines in attendance. "I'll leave my half-explanation on a bright note. Just because this thing can't be destroyed or intimidated does not mean it can't be defeated. It can be confused, it can be thwarted, it can even be forced to abandon plans altogether because the cost is coming to outpace the potential gains. I don't know what it wants here, or what it plans to do with Pinkie, but I know how this thing thinks. If it abducted a single pony, even one as...unique as Pinkie, it isn't that important of a mission, one that that can easily be canceled and have a substitute scheme in its place. I'll bring her back, safe and as sound as whatever its minions has left her." Rarity blinked, before her lips turned upward into an amused smile. "Well, this is rather sweet for you, Discord. I didn't know you had a full soul instead of a bare minimum of a conscience." "Well, there had to be something Fluttershy saw in me." The pegasus in question grinned shyly. "Still, it doesn't pay to be unprepared. It's not entirely unlikely that I'll have to make a quick retreat, especially given how it's all too familiar with my race. Twilight, you will need to alert Celestia, since if I'm any indication, that memory filter isn't keyed to divine beings, and we exist in a blind spot for it. For both you and for everypony else, tell no one. For anyone that is not a divine being, you mentioning Pinkie Pie's existence to anyone it still affects, even in implication, will set off a warning system and a servant will probably be dispatched to investigate. Knowing their general disposition, it is probably more inclined to destroy the town and everyone in it rather than attempt to repair the filter in the field. Does anypony need greater explanation?" "Heard ya fine." "Nope." "As much as I'd like to tell Sweetie, I will endure." "Got it, loud and clear" "I can at least talk with my brother and sister, so I ain't that disturbed." "I'll think of an excuse to send those letters." "Um, do animals count?" "No, Flutters. They can't talk, so it doesn't bother." Discord raised his wings. "Wish me luck." "Star light, star bright..." Pausing to chuckle at Apple Bloom's literal mind, Discord materialized an army helmet, and took off for the point he had seen the thoughtform's flow come from. whirr, click. Neither he nor the real ponies noticed the tiny sounds of the tiny camera irises in "Fluttershy's" eyes zoom in on Discord. In the Dalga's Cloister, Barachiel yawned as his body finished assembling itself. "Noble Dalga, why have you called me to this place? I was in the process of slumber, repairing holes in the network." "A very pertinent task to the reasons I asked your presence. You asked me to alert you to any pertinent observations by the infiltration unit we sent back in place of the test control? I just received one. Begin log, Clockworked Serial Number 12-98, Type Designation Blue, Today, timestamp 20:42:" The Dalga's voice dialed up several tones as he relayed the message vocally. "Alert. The native Celebrant is preparing to attack the facility. Repeat: The native Celebrant is preparing to attack the facility. Photo of the entity known as 'Discord' is enclosed in data packet. Subject is emotionally connected to imitated target 'Fluttershy', but cover was sufficiently obscured and has not been compromised. End transmission." The spatial window formed again, showing a collection of pictures of a strange, hybrid organism. Barachiel became very awake. "The Grid will be prepared with haste. He shall not pass the threshold a free being." "Okay, team, here's the game plan." Discord had dressed himself in a soccer jersey for the occasion. He pointed to a materialized chalkboard, drawing sports instructions on it. "The away team currently has the ball, and if we are going to pull a win out of our butts and get the lead this early quarter, we are going to need to force them to part with it. We need a touchdown back in Ponyville to get the early lead, and--" "Coach, a question." The speaker was a heavily-muscled helmeted squirrel. "Why is the aesthetic a football team? I mean, we are kind of leading an assault on an outpost of an enemy our creator's race has been at war with for several thousand of their generations. Football doesn't exactly scream that to me." "First, you will do ten push-ups for referring to the sport as 'football'. It's soccer, we carry the ball. Secondly...good point." The jersey quickly reshaped into an officer's uniform and the rest of the uniforms on the remade wildlife followed suit, tripping the squirrel doing push-ups as his own reshaped into a regular arsenal of ammunition and guns. "Right then, men, our mark is Lieutenant Pinkie Pie, last seen by her unit heading to the vicinity of this amusement park, north by northwest of here. Our intelligence indicates that the God-Machine's forces have developed an outpost in the area, and we believe that the Lieutenant is being held within. Remember, we are fighting the fog of war here as well as any angelic resistance, given how we are attempting to lead a surprise attack and they would have detected us if we sent scouts. But from my experience with the G-M's tactics, the outpost will lack significant defenses, and will not have a full clockworked regiment. Besides, if we lose, I can just wish reinforcements into existence. Is that clear?" "Sir yes sir!" "Not enthusiastic enough!" "SIR YES SIR!" "That's the spirit men! Now, let's break this overblown clock!" The mutated soldiers arranged themselves in formation behind Discord (which for him, was "standing wherever they felt like") and marched towards the Golden Beach, across the snow. And marched. And marched. The squirrel spoke up again. "Sir, I thought the Golden Beach was only a few miles." "Insubordination, Lance Corporal! Very commendable. Especially when I was thinking the same thing." Discord held up his hand in a "stop" gesture. Scanning the horizon, he saw nothing but whiteout. "Hold on, let me check my....charts....?" The thing he had pulled out of his pocket and unrolled was not a map. Rather, it was an anachronistic piece of printer paper. Upon it was the words Did you really think we weren't prepared? It was foolish to think anything else. Before Discord could react, a blast of supercold air instantly froze the back troops, followed by a strange sound between a whinny and a wolf howl. "EVASIVE MANEUVERS!" Discord ducked to avoid another blast, then drew a sword that reshaped into a gatling gun. The squirrel pulled out as much of the guns as he could, which was awkward given how one was held by a foot. "TAKE COVER! WE WILL NOT BE RED SHIRTS TODAY!" Another blast quickly proved that assumption wrong, as a bizarre shape, not unlike a translucent blue horse, came out of the blizzard. As it edged closer, one could see that not all of this horse was see-through: a strange metal construction, not unlike a mechanical ribcage with leather bladder lugs floated within its chest, wires extending from it to a pair of mechanical eyes. It howled again, and this time Discord could hear the synthesized distortion in the windigo's voice. "Please. I helped make them! If you were going to throw a domesticated magath at me, you could at least get one I couldn't purify in five min-" 4F 75 72 20 46 61 74 68 65 72 20 77 68 6F 20 61 72 74 20 69 6E 20 68 65 61 76 65 6E 2C The hexidecimal burned itself into Discord's mind, causing a nigh-unimaginable pain. "Ergh...a Abjuration Grid? I retract my previous statement. Very clever way to deal with mortal backup to spiritual forces." 68 61 6C 6C 6F 77 65 64 20 62 65 20 74 68 79 20 6E 61 6D 65 2E "OW! Just let me think for a second, would you?" The cybernetic windigo charged for inhaled for another breath. 54 68 79 20 6B 69 6E 67 64 6F 6D 20 63 6F 6D 65 2E 20 54 68 79 20 77 69 6C 6C 20 62 65 20 64 6F 6E 65 2E 0D 0A As Discord shrieked, the windigo attacked again, freezing the remaining troops. 4F 6E 20 65 61 72 74 68 20 61 73 20 69 74 20 69 73 20 69 6E 20 68 65 61 76 65 6E 2E A pair of polar bears with metal skin on their arms dashed into the fray, crushing the frozen troops and swatting away the still-moving mutants like oversized gnats. 47 69 76 65 20 75 73 20 74 68 69 73 20 64 61 79 20 6F 75 72 20 64 61 69 6C 79 20 62 72 65 61 64 2C 20 61 6E 64 20 66 6F 72 67 69 76 65 20 75 73 20 6F 75 72 20 74 72 65 73 70 61 73 73 65 73 2C 0D 0A Satisfied with its fellows' situation, the windigo blew more cold wind at Discord, still in too much pain to react. 61 73 20 77 69 6C 6C 20 6E 6F 74 20 64 6F 20 74 6F 20 74 68 6F 73 65 20 77 68 6F 20 74 72 65 73 70 61 73 73 20 61 67 61 69 6E 73 74 20 75 73 2E The windigo and the bears sauntered up the the writhing draconequus, only slightly reduced by the ice bindings. 4C 65 61 64 20 75 73 20 6E 6F 74 20 69 6E 74 6F 20 74 65 6D 70 74 61 74 69 6F 6E 2C 20 62 75 74 20 64 65 6C 69 76 65 72 20 75 73 20 66 72 6F 6D 20 65 76 69 6C 2C A strange shape rose out of the snow, not unlike an azure amoeba. As it drew to its full height, as tall as a male pony on his hind legs, it disgorged several dozen solid parts the color of ivory, which it began to assemble around itself like a carapace. 46 6F 72 20 74 68 69 6E 65 20 69 73 20 74 68 65 20 6B 69 6E 67 64 6F 6D 2C 20 61 6E 64 20 74 68 65 20 70 6F 77 65 72 2C 20 61 6E 64 20 74 68 65 20 67 6C 6F 72 79 2E The carapace was fully assembled, taking the form of a bulky, headless humanoid with four slender arms, each ending on both a thumbless hand and a different medical instrument. The only visible part of the amoeba was a round protrusion that imitated a featureless head. It 'looked' down, as the face of an older human man build into its chest opened blue, pupiless, eyes. "Hm," it said, revealing teeth that shone like white sands and a calm, stoic voice. "I must say the past month has been a veritable cornucopia of research. First I understand the mechanism behind the Pinkie Sense mystery, then I figure out how to manufacture Commandments en masse, and now, a Celebrant presents himself to me, alive and mostly well. It seems that even the Wyrd blesses our Mission." The pain beginning to fade slightly, Discord opened an eye, giving the strange being a look that could kill. When he failed the keel over, instead stumbling back slightly as his carapace was scarred, the Spirit of Disharmony chuckled weakly. "Ha..ha....and here I was, thinking angels didn't have personal desires." "Oh, it's not quite personal," the being said, as his carapace was quickly repaired by the blob within it. "The Faultless realized that it did not have as much information on this planet as it would like, so it commissioned me, Harahel the Seeker, to gather and learn as much as I could and apply it to the larger Mission and Infrastructure we three Overseers tend to." "Oh, is that so? And here I was, thinking the God-Machine-" "YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF SPEAKING ITS NAMES, UNCLEAN ONE!" The screaming female voice echoed off from far-off in the distance. "YOUR LIPS DEFILE THEM!" "Be at ease, Jophiel." Another voice in the distance, grandfatherly. "He may be forgiven not knowing of your devotion to the Creator and Master Control." "My siblings," said Harahel, his head shifting to a platonic solid. "Jophiel the Stalwart and Barachiel the Wise. But enough about me, this is about you." He edged a bit closer. "Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of temporal flow? Especially complex flow?" Discord felt his blood turn to ice. "Not really. I possess a survival instinct." "Good. That means we can preform more experiments before you perish or escape." The forceps hand jabbed Discord below his right eye. "Of course, now that I think of it...I do need a device to monitor your interior biology, Celebrants can be so confusing...." Discord couldn't really hide his fear of the scientific angel any more. "If I didn't know better, I would say say you are enjoying this." 46 6F 72 20 65 76 65 72 20 61 6E 64 20 65 76 65 72 2E Harahel laughed even as Discord felt the strongest blow yet from the Grid, his head reshaping into a pyramid as he put a hand to it instead of his face. "Of course I enjoy it! I was programmed to love discovering new things!" 41 6D 65 6E 2E Darkness. "Um, Twilight? Are you sure you still don't want to tell me why you're sending these letters?" "As I've told you for the thirtieth time, Spike, it's confidential! I can't, otherwise I'm going to get Princess Celestia mad!" "She can be a little angry, can't she?" Spike burned yet another letter, the eighth one in as many hours. "I just want to know why I'm getting close to *cough* losing my voice. *cough*" "Not yet, Spike!" Twilight had worked herself into a growing panic, at this point randomly teleporting about. I don't get it. I mean, not being informed of Discord's plans before the newspaper got to us is one thing, but this is getting ridiculous. Is the perception effect of of memory filter affecting her too, and all she's reading is gobbledygook? No, that would be even more worrying, and she'd show up to figure out why I lost my ability to write, especially after a week of this....Three more letters, then I go to Canterlot myself. Pulling out her quill and paper, ignoring Spike's groan, Twilight began to write. Dear Princess Celestia... "Don't....they blocked..." Twilight squeaked, and spun around to face Discord. She barely remembered to muffle Spikes ears at the string of profanity that came from her mouth. "Discord! What happened to you!?" The draconequus pushed out a strangled noise somewhere between a laugh and a geriatric cough. His face was incredibly aged, almost as if a pony lived for a thousand years of time apparently deciding it didn't like them. That wasn't the truly disturbing bit, however. The truly disturbing bit was that his age was nothing resembling constant across his body-in some areas, he was still the same young and spry-looking draconequus, but in others, he was de-aged, back into a child, giving him a lopsided, mutilated appearance. Compared to that, the clockwork right eye, glowing with a green pupil and with circuit pattens extending like vines from the socket, seemed almost tame. "Heack.....got careless...underestimated them....Pinkie was only...secondary objective....not goal...much larger than her....much stranger." Hacking up grey, ashen mucus, Discord dragged himself into the library, his de-aged right leg too small to carry him. "Knew I was coming....prepared....didn't stand a chance....captured, escaped...." "HOLY GUACAMOLE, DISCORD! WHAT GOD OF TIME DID YOU PRANK!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EYE!? WHO THE HAY IS 'PINK-'" A sad looking blast of chaos energy hit Spike in the forehead, and an odd sound, like failing machinery, echoed through the house. "Please...freak out later....too important...not much time...." Collapsing on Twilight's floor, Discord reached into his skull, pulling out a rainbow, shifting pearl. "Take this...this dream...contains everything I know...the God-Machine...ignorance won't save...." "Discord! Don't drain yourself! I know first aid, I can take you to the hosptial-" "Heack...no need...need intention for Celebrants to be....truly dead...just sleep for a few months...wait for my body to destabilize....don't worry...just stop them...but beware..." Discord pulled Twilight close, both to hand her the pearl and to cling to her. "Beware....the zealous flame...beware....the scholar's light...beware...the wind that sees all...beware the lords...of the clockwork....heaven......" Unable to continue even further, Discord closed his eyes, and his breathing slowed. Slowly, a great multicolored crystal, hued with the same colors of the dream pearl, crept up the Spirit of Disharmony's body, encasing him in a silicate cocoon. Soon, Twilight found herself holding only a pearl, and the frozen hand of a crystal draconequus, dreaming peacefully.