//------------------------------// // Parties and Confessions // Story: A Guardsman in Equestria // by Guardsman_Sparky //------------------------------// Alexander made his way back to the Library...that was in a tree. Still, it wasn't the strangest thing he had seen today. That cake was taken by a certain pink...can I really think of that thing as a pony? Some of the things Alexander had seen Pinkie Pie do made his head hurt, and something told him that he'd only seen the toe of the titan. Grimacing, Alexander took off his helmet to rub his face. How have I not lost it yet? I'm surrounded by pastel ponies. All those bright colors make my eyes hurt. Sure they're nice enough, but still. Clipping his helmet to his belt, Alexander massaged his temples, trying to ward off the headache he felt building. Why I ended up here, I'll never know. It's like a bad dream. He sighed. Still, I'm glad I didn't go batshit crazy on these xenos. They don't seem violent, but considering every unicorn seems to be a psyker... Alexander let that thought trail away with a sigh. Good thing I've always had a soft spot for animals. He looked around, frowning as he realized there were no ponies in sight, not even any sneaking peeks at him from hiding. Where is every... "Look out!" Alexander was bowled over as a grey blur crashed into the back of his head. Groaning, Alexander sat up and clutched his head. "Ugh, anybody get the number of that Baneblade?" "Ohmygoshohmygosh, I am so sorry, are you alright?" Alexander looked up at the wall-eyed grey pegasus standing on his chest. "Oh, that hurt. You really need to look where you're going," Alexander mumbled, head hurting too much to be angry. He frowned. "Can you please get offa me?" "Sorry, sorry." Alexander brushed himself off and stood up, glaring at the pegasus hovering next to him. "Alright, who are you and why'd you run me over?" "I'm Ditzy Doo. I'm sorry about running into you, it happens to me a lot." Ditzy waved a hoof in front of her uncooperative eyes. "Very poor depth perception." She gasped. "Are you the human everypony's talking about?" "Yes, I'm Alexander," Alexander replied, introducing himself. "Where were you off to in such a hurry?" Ditzy gasped. "Oh no, I'm going to be late!" Alexander watched as Ditzy flew down the street, crashing into several lampposts and mailboxes until she disappeared around the corner. The mare's name certainly fit. Alexander sighed. "I am so very tired." Overwhelmed by the day's events, Alexander resumed trudging back to Twilight's library, not knowing where else to go. Hopefully the purple unicorn would know of a place he could stay. The sun was starting to set as Alexander finally arrived at the library. He swore as he noticed that the lights were all out. Shit, she must already be in bed or something. Alexander sighed. Ah, well, it wasn't like he hadn't slept under the stars before. At least the weather was nice here, not like that frozen hellhole he'd seen his first combat on. Shaking his head, Alexander turned away to find somewhere to eat some rations and sleep. As he did so, Alexander noticed that the front door was ajar. That could not be good. Worried that something had happened to Twilight, he crept along the wall...trunk?...of the library till he reached the door. Sliding his laspistol out of its holster, Alexander flipped of the safety, aiming the gun down as he reached out to nudge the door open with his left hand. He entered the darkened room. BANG! Alexander dived back through the open doorway, taking cover from the follow-up attack...that never came. Looking up, Alexander stared incredulously at the colored paper settling on the ground. Is that...? Confetti? Sitting upright, Alexander slowly poked his head around the doorjam. "SURPRISE!" Alexander was struck dumb at the scene that greeted his eyes. The library was filled to bursting with ponies of every color. Streamers decorated the ceilings and bookcases, complementing the floating balloons tethered to various tables filled with snacks, treats, and beverages. Everypony there was cheering. And there, standing -no, make that bouncing- in the foreground was the pink bundle of impossibilities that was Pinkie Pie. A pink (pink?), old-fashioned cannon stood next to her, smoking barrel pointed at the opened door. Above the cannon hung a banner with "Happy Birthday Welcome to Ponyville!" written in gold block letters. Alexander stood slack-jawed in the doorway, laspistol dangling forgotten in his fingers. "Y-you...threw me..a...party?" He shook his head, unable to contemplate why anybody would throw him a party, of all things. "Why?" Pinkie Pie giggled. "Because silly-billy, I throw parties for everypony new to Ponyville. Aaaaand," Pinkie sucked in a huge breath of air. Alexander frowned at her as the pink pony started vibrating like an overloading lasgun pack. Several seconds passed before Alexander ventured a question. "And?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. "BECAUSE YOU'RE A HERO!" Alexander was practically bowled over by the force of Pinkie Pie's response. "You saved the Cutie Mark Crusaders from a meanie manticore!" Alexander blushed in embarrassment. "But, I just did what...I couldn't just..." Alexander stammered incoherently. Why in the warp was he so...flustered? For that matter, why did he care? According to the administratum, he shouldn't be caring for these xenos. But...he did, and Alexander didn't understand why. Why did this place feel so much like...home? Pinkie Pie grabbed Alexander's hand with her hoof and pulled the bemused human into the party. Almost immediately Alexander was mobbed by appreciative and curious ponies. Overwhelmed, Alexander sat in a chair, head reeling. He sat trying to make sense of everything, the party thrown for him a blur. Excusing himself, Alexander made him way out onto a balcony overlooking Ponyville. He looked up at the night sky, suddenly filled with sadness. Everyone he knew was likely dead. Hell, he might even be dead. It wouldn't explain the ponies, though. Alexander sat down with his head bowed, his thoughts filled with sorrow as his mind wandered. A small "eep!" brought him out of his stupor. Looking up, Alexander found himself looking into the eyes of a pink-maned yellow pegasus. Fluttershy had come to the library with Twilight after inventorying the animal feed for all of Fluttershy's animal friends and had ended up staying for the party. After a while, though, it had become too much for her, so she climbed up to the balcony overlooking Ponyville. She had just begun to relax when a soft sigh startled her. Eep-ing, she turned to see the human called Alexander sitting against the bark of the tree as he looked up into her eyes. He turned away, returning to his thoughts. Fluttershy wondered what could make someone so sad, until she remembered what Twilight had told her about this visitor, that he was far from home. She swallowed meekly. "Do you miss your home?" Alexander looked up, surprised that the excruciatingly shy pony was talking to him. He pondered what to say, before shaking his head. "Not really. My home was destroyed long ago, and people generally avoided me." "But why...didn't you have any friends?" "I had a few," Alexander replied slowly. "But most people thought that I was cursed." Fluttershy squeaked. "C-c-cursed?" Alexander chuckled humorlessly. "I've come out of several campaigns where I alone survived or was the only one not seriously injured. People began whispering that those around me were marked men. My friends were the only ones who stood up for me." Alexander shook his head, his voice hoarse. "And now that they're dead, I have no reason to return." Alexander thought for a moment. "Even if I did, one person surviving from a ship lost in the warp? They'd execute me fast than you could say 'heretic' just to make sure I wasn't possessed or something." Fluttershy looked close to tears. "That's so sad." "Yeah, ain't it though?" Alexander stood up and head back to the party. "I need a drink." Alexander woke cursing as the sun pierced his eyes, his head in splitting agony. He rolled over to hide his eyes from the light of the sun, and fell off the bookshelf he was lying on. THUD! "God damn it!" Alexander looked around, trying to remember where he was. Noting the streamers and partly deflated balloons strewn about, he realized that the previous night was not a dream. His tongue felt like cotton, his head was in agony, what the hell had happened last night? "Oh, you're up." Alexander looked at Twilight with a grimace. "What happened last night?" Twilight smiled ruefully at the suffering human. "You were heavily intoxicated." "How many drinks did I have?" "One." Alexander looked at Twilight as if she had just grown tentacles and called him mommy. "One drink? The warp kind of drink did I have?" Twilight shook her head, "Sorry, I meant one entire barrel of the Apple Family's finest hard apple cider." She giggled. "you were singing drinking songs all night until you passed out, it was quite impressive." Alexander stared at Twilight for a moment. Gritting his teeth, he stood up and moved to the window. "Well, that explains the hangover." He stopped, stared out the window at something that seemed unusual, even for this place. "Hey Twilight?" "Hm?" "Am I still drunk?" "Um, hold on lemme check." Twilight's horn glowed for a few seconds, before fizzling out. "Nope, you are stone cold sober. Why?" Alexander squeezed his eyes shut. "Are your clouds usually pink?" Now it was Twilight's turn to look at Alexander like he had sprouted tentacles. "No." Alexander grimaced, brows furrowing as he gazed out the window at a cluster of pink clouds. "No reason."