//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Arnie's Glorious Comeback // Story: Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria // by Ichtudirweh //------------------------------// "Maria! Where are deh keys to mai hummer! I need to get to the production set for Terminader 5! TELL ME WHERE YOU PUT DEM!" Arnold Schwarzenegger exclaims in a thick Austrian accent towards his wife. He knocks over expensive chinaware from the kitchen counter, while his neck vein pulsates with anger with every passing second. Arnold was a pretty humble man for a retired bodybuilder, but his patience grew thin whenever Maria misplaced his keys for his hummer. Especially for an important event such as the production of 'Terminator 5: Ascension of the T1000'. "Arnold! Don't raise your voice at me, you useless piece of trash! I will divorce you once again! I really mean it this time! You can share this mansion with your housemaid until death do us part!" Maria snapped back at Arnold. Ever since the affair with the housemaid broke out in the public, Maria Shriver would use this argument against the famed Austrian legend to his dismay. It tore him up inside, as he could not escape his many affairs from the past. However, everyone in Hollywood knew about his secret. The Paparazzi's would disturb him every time he would step afoot in the outside world. He would be constantly bombarded with questions about his previous affairs with the housemaid. But today, Arnie was fed up with it. Something had to give. After destroying many expensive household items to find his keys, he stepped out from the front door of his mansion. Like a predator stalking it's prey in the wild, a horde of Paparazzi's sprung up from the shrubbery, and ambushed Arnold with many questions. "Mr. Schwarzenegger, is it true that you and Maria are back together? How is the housemaid with the kid doing? Will Maria ever forgive you for cheating on her? MR. SCHWARZENEGGER!" A single Paparazzi shoved his microphone directly in Arnold's face. This is where Arnold's true colors where shown. "YEW STOOPID PAPARAZZI! I"M GOING TO CRUSH YOU!" Arnold's head flared up like a erupting volcano. The presence of Paparazzi's scurried away, due to the unprecedented rage expressed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. They dropped their microphones and sprinted as fast as they could. The single Paparazzi, who was thickheaded and stubborn enough to ask such a bold series of questions, shook in his shoes as the massive silhouette of Arnold towered over him. "Any last word's before aie end yor miserable existence?" Arnold's massive hand clutched the Paparazzi's flannel shirt. The Paparazzi released a cold sweat and unconditionally shook his head. Even through his unparalleled strength diminished with age, he managed to throw the arrogant Paparazzi towards a nearby bush. The paparazzi started an abundant nest of aggressive African hornets. Arnold laughed with a thick Austrian accent, as the Paparazzi sprinted like a frightened girly man. He drove in his hummer to the production set of Terminator 5. There was a side of Arnold that he kept hidden from the public's curious eye. Mr. Schwarzenegger contained a deep, dark secret that even Maria Shriver wasn't aware of at the time. While going though his son's room, he uncovered Patrick Schwarzenegger's collection of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic DVD's under a pillow case. Instead of discarding the DVD's in the trashcan, Arnold's curiosity overwhelmed him. He decided to pop in one DVD just for the heck of it. After completing Part 1 and Part 2 of the first season, Arnold exclaimed aloud "DIS IS DEH BEST SHOW EVA! AIE HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE WATCHING DESE COLORFUL PONIES!" From that day on, Arnold Schwarzenegger became an avid fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. He would claim to his wife, that he would go to the gym to body build with his old pal Sly. Instead, he would join the other bronies in Hollywood to watch a new episode released every week. Maria knew that he was lying, due to the lack of any visible results from working out. She assumed that he was cheating on her. Little did she know that was far from the truth. "THREE MAUTHS OF WINTEER OF CEWLNESS AND AWESOME HOLLIEDAI'S......" Arnie sung along with the melodic voice of Rainbow Dash, to his collection of MLP songs inside his hummer. Winter Wrap Up was his favorite song of all time. "WE'VE KEPT AOUR HOOVIES WAURM AT HOME TAIUME AWFF FRAUM WORK TEW PLAY!" Arnie repeated the words sung from Pinkie Pie in a thick Austrian accent. His inner dashboard received an incoming call from Sylvester Stallone. He pushed a button to answer the call on his dashboard. It muted the song, so that his secret wouldn't be discovered by his old pal. "Good Morning!" Arnold boasted with upbeat pride to Stallone. "Heyyy! Arnie man! Euuhhhh.....You up for the gym later today?" Stallone slurred over the speakers of his hummer. "Aie would love to Sly, but ahm off to the production cast of Terminader 5. Today is the production scene where aie jump into deh time displacement equipment to save John Conna!" Arnie returned to Sly over the built in microphone. "Don't ya think yor too old for the Terminator franchise, Arnie man? I mean.....I made the Rambo remake when ehhh......" Sylvester Stallone blanked out for a minute. "Yeagh, aie know. We're all getting up in age Sly. But deh world of Hollywood needs more sequels and remakes! Aie mean, cahm aon! When's deh last time you've seen something original cahm out of Hollywood? They need us for moar movies!" Arnold boasted with self pride. "Ah agree Arnie man....We'll, maybe I'll swing by your place around noon tomorrow then?" Sly returns to Arnold over the speakers. Tomorrow was the premier of season four. There was no way that Arnold could miss the opening of season four, even if it killed him. The Alicorn drama was far too immense for him "Aile think about it Sly. We'll aie am here at deh production set. Wish me luck Sly dog...." "Will do Arnie man...." Sly hung up the phone on his end. Arnold arrived at the intersection of Hayvenhurst & Plummer in Los Angles, California. The location from which the original truck chase scene from Terminator 2 was filmed. A flashback from John Conner was to be shot there, but set in a battle scarred post apocalyptic environment. During narration, the audience was to be informed that the machines became self aware and Skynet went online. It was a type of homage, that the director felt necessary to play tribute in the new movie. Arnold was ordered to the Make-Up trailer, where the talented artists would skillfully remodel him back to his original glory days. After three hours of vigorous hard work, Arnold appeared as his old self again. Set under the bridge from the original truck chase scene, Arnold was introduced to a time displacement equipment prop. It was a futuristic spherical pod, where the operator sat in a slanted chair and operated a control module. Little did he know, that the machine was a real time equipment displacer... "Ok, here we have your central computer controls. Just fire everything up with this button, and act as if your operating the internal machinery. After you hear the hum, that's when our special effect's crew will be called into action. We will cut the scene after the smoke has dissipated..." The Director instructed to Arnold. "Got eit! Just like old times!" Arnold returned with a goofy grin and a thumbs up. "Alright, get ready everyone! 3...2...1....Action!" The Director shouted. He pressed the buttons on the control pad of the prop. The round sphere sealed itself shut, where Arnold was now isolated from the production crew. The time displacement machine rattled violently, where visible bolts of lighting emitted from around the metallic sphere. Arnold grasped onto the internal handle bars to brace himself. After a violent flash of light was dispersed, the director yelled "CUT!" to stop production of the short clip. After the smoke dissipated from the production set, the time displacement machine was nowhere to be scene. "Excellent! Our special effects crew really went all out on this, didn't they? I can imagine the cash flowing in my pockets right about now!" The film Director boasted aloud. "Uh....sir? What happened to the prop?" The script Supervisor scratched his head in curiosity. "What? What do you mean 'what happened to the prop'?" The Director snapped sarcastically back to the Supervisor. "It's not there sir...." "THEN WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED TO IT?!?"