//------------------------------// // Chapter Twelve // Story: Rats In The Belfry // by Beegirl Scribbler //------------------------------//                                     Uh, Lord Grogar, there's a, uh, problem. Heh-HEEHAW-heh... Oh, what in Tambelon is it now? Grogar thought, eyes narrowed. His bell rang, causing a pony to go flying through the window of a nearby tavern. Between those who'd fled and those who'd been expelled, the streets were now clear. There's a guard. He's really, really big, and he's got these mismatched claws, and— Stop. Grogar cocked his head. Mismatched claws? Oh, mismatched everything, Lord Grogar. He's hideous! Heh-HEEHAW-heh... Grogar blinked. His bell rang, and a nearby door fell over, grew legs and scurried off. If that is who I think it is...tell me, Bray, does he have an insufferably blithe manner? No, he keeps laughing at me! It's awful, Master! Hm. Perhaps I underestimated Luna. Or overestimated her good sense. Let me see... Grogar considered it, just for a moment. There is a solution. Oh! Are you coming to help? Don't be inane. You will not need my help. There was a pause. Uh...if you say so, Master! Grogar heard another one of Bray's obnoxious laughs on the way. Stop. Shut up. Yes, Lord Grogar! Bray's 'voice' had turned frightened again. Sorry, Master. If this is Discord, he will doubtless be kept on a short leash. Grogar smirked, stroking his beard. Simply put your animal ingenuity to use, Bray, and see to it that leash becomes tighter. Uh... Grogar scowled. His bell rang. The animated door imploded, vanishing into nothing. Discord is you. The pony townsfolk are me. Oh. Oh, I understand! Well explained, Master! Then get to it. My patience grows thin. Grogar heard loud hoof-falls coming up behind him. “Grogar!” Luna shouted. I must go, he thought. See to it your mission is a success, or I will make you regret your extended lifespan even more than you do now. Y-yes, Master! No doors had survived the carnage. Absolutely none. Splinters and piles of ash littered the road, along with the rubber strips from shredded pet doors and puddles of molten brass from the doorknobs. There were even a few scatterings of sand here and there from windows that had apparently been too door-like for Grogar's taste. Every single building's entranceway was bare and unprotected. Luna looked over the wretched display, then turned to Grogar. The ram grinned. “Problem, Princess?” Luna's brow furrowed. She glanced at Fluttershy—the pegasus had her hooves over her eyes and was curled up in a ball. It occurred to Luna she'd forgotten to put her friend down, so she quickly did so. Fluttershy spent a moment hugging the cobble street. After a moment, she opened her eyes. “Oh, my.” Luna echoed Fluttershy's sentiment. The entire block was a wreck. No ponies appeared to have been injured, but their dwellings were all seriously damaged. It would take weeks to replace all the eliminated entryways. Luna looked back at Grogar, whose grin only appeared to have widened. Her eyes narrowed. “Let us make our way into the theater.” Their entrance was somewhat speedier thanks to the fact that both massive brass doors had been ripped off their hinges and turned into giant lamps, Luna had to admit. The mare collecting tickets looked up as they approached. Her jaw dropped as Luna raised a hoof. “We would like to purchase three—” “Princess!” The mare leaped forward and grabbed Luna by the neck. Luna was about to reflexively lash out when the mare buried her head in Luna's chest and started sobbing. Luna blinked. “Um, what is—” “It was awful!” the ticket collector wailed. “Absolutely awful! That ram—and the sun—” Luna frowned. “What about the s—” “Enough of this.” Grogar grabbed the mare by the collar with his teeth and pulled her away. “We have a play to view,” he growled through the cloth. “You can resolve your psychological issues later.” “But—” “It can wait.” Grogar made his way to the exit and swung his head, flinging the ticket collector out. “Go get yourself some coffee or something.” “Coffee.” Outside, the wide-eyed mare picked herself up off the ground. “Yes. It will make things good. Must go. Coffee.” Still shaking, she ran off. Luna and Fluttershy stared after her. Grogar turned, beaming. “Now, then. Princess Lear, yes? Ah!” He pointed up at a nearby sign. “How splendid, a play begins shortly!” “Um, that sign says they're doing Moolan,” Fluttershy said. “Hm.” Grogar's bell rang. “Well, perhaps I can persuade the ponies to alter their schedule.” He vanished. “Um...” Fluttershy coughed. “I'm sure he didn't mean that. Um. Well, he probably did, but...Princess Luna? I mean, Luna, are you okay?” Luna stood rigid. Her eye twitched. “Um, I'm sure it'll be fine.” Fluttershy put a hoof on Luna's shoulder. “He won't really force them to do a different play.” “Do you really believe that?” Fluttershy didn't say anything for a moment. She looked at the sign, then back at Luna. “I think we'd better hurry after him.” “Hm.” Discord examined the pond skeptically. After a moment, he grinned. “Perfect! Exactly as I remember it!” He started to turn away when something kicked him in the foot. He looked down to see Angel scowling up at him. As always. He rolled his eyes. Can't this rabbit ever lighten up? Angel was covered in ash, his left ear missing most of its fur. “Oh, fine.” Discord shrugged. “I suppose there might have been a slight mix-up with the periodic table. Oxygen atoms are small and I thought I should include one extra. So sue me.” Angel raised an eyebrow. Discord waved a claw. “Oh, the fish are fine. I teleported them out during my lava bath. They...um...” He paused, frowning. “Where did I put them, anyways?” “There he is!” Discord turned. Running up the hill toward the cottage was a beady-eyed donkey. It shook a hoof at Discord, letting out a cackle. “Now we've got you, you menace!” Discord folded his arms. He vanished, reappearing right in front of the donkey. “Well, well, well. Bray.” He glared down at the hideous creature. “I've heard of you. Shouldn't you be in Tartarus with the other two-bit troublemakers?” “Ha! Ha! Hee-haw!” Bray took a step back, and Discord noticed one of his hind legs appeared to be injured. “What's that, there?” He frowned. “Did you trip and fall off a cliff? How stupid can you get?” “Hm!” Bray looked back at something Discord couldn't make out. “He's right here! I don't see the baseball bat anywhere, though!” “Baseball bat?” Discord cocked his head. “What in my glorious (and remarkably apt) name are you babbling about?” He leaned over Bray, his neck stretching longer and longer until he could peer around Fluttershy's small grove of fruit trees. His eyes widened. “Oh my.” The entire population of Ponyville stood before him. Many of the ponies wielded pitchforks, rakes, gardening hoses and other such deadly weapons. One gray pegasus even had a torch, despite it being noon. At their head was the Mayor, who shouted something indistinct through the broken chair leg clenched in her teeth. “Um, what?” Discord tilted his head a hundred and eighty degrees, his neck stretching even longer to allow the curve. Staring at her upside down, he tried to look innocent. “What's this about?” Mayor Mare hesitated, then spat the chair leg out. She stomped her hoof. “Discord, how dare you assault that donkey! Just because Fluttershy and her friends aren't here does not mean you can run amok! Not even on donkeys and mules!” She paused, glancing at a mule beside her. “No offense meant, of course.” “N'n t'k'n,” the mule said through the wooden handle of his broom. “Well, that's just absolutely preposterous,” Discord said, waving a paw dismissively. “As if I'd—hey! Get away!” He took a step back (from all the way by Bray) as several ponies advanced on him with croquet mallets. “Help! Angel!” He felt something climb up his back and bounce up his neck. A moment passed, and it came to rest on his goat horn. There was a series of squeaks, and Discord winced as whatever it was started jumping up and down on his head. “Hold up, Mayor,” a mint-green unicorn said. She was brandishing what looked like some sort of fake arm. “I think that rabbit there is saying he didn't do it.” “Donkey!” Mayor Mare shouted, still glaring at Discord. “This rabbit is—” “That rabbit, uh, ah, pummeled the pegasus who lives here!” Discord heard Bray shout. “With a, ah, fish! Yes, yes! A huge fish! A herring! He pummeled her and threw her out of the cottage! He's evil, too!” The townsfolk were silent a moment. Discord fought to contain a giggle. He'd have to remember to give Angel another unhealthy salad later. “Y'know,” one of the ponies murmured, “that does sound like something he would do.” “No kidding!” another said. “I saw him actually throw a cat out a window once! True story!” Two familiar ponies made their way to the front. “Yep,” Granny Smith said, “I been wantin' t'teach this rabbit a lesson for years!” Her eyes narrowed as she slowly advanced on Discord. “Poor Fluttershy! Hope she's alright—I was wond'rin' where she'd-a gotten to!” “Eeyup,” Big Macintosh growled. Discord winced. He gave a nervous chuckle. “Um—well, the thing is—” A voice sounded in his head. It isn't easy, is it? This is why redemption is futile. Discord took another step back, as the mob advanced. Oh. Um, hello, Grogar. Listen, I'm a bit busy right now... He couldn't risk blasting them, of course—too many ponies would get hurt, and Fluttershy would never forgive him. He wasn't sure he'd be able to risk an ordinary shield spell, either—most of his shields tended to cut up whatever was caught in between. Rationality is always stronger, Discord. I just demolished a street full of ponies. No ponies were hurt, but that does not matter. The risk was there, and I ignored it. Could you do the same now? Oh, shut up. Discord snapped his fingers. In a flash, his neck was back to normal size and he was running. Angel clung to Discord's horn for dear life as the draconequus bolted through the garden, over the pond, and towards an inviting-looking forest. Now, to say that Discord was stupid would be uncharitable—and, indeed, wrong. Discord was not stupid. In fact, he could sometimes be remarkably cunning. However, things sometimes did fail to occur to him. Such was the downside of a mind of 'pure' chaos. As such, just as it had failed to occur to him that the forest did not look inviting, that he could simply teleport away, and that running would make him look even more guilty, it had failed to occur to him that, while he had been busy addressing the mob, Bray had slipped into Fluttershy's cottage and begun tearing the place apart.