//------------------------------// // Years // Story: Whispers // by Fire-Dash //------------------------------// After day 365, the years bled into one. Night and day have no distinction. I wander without direction. Sometimes the rocks rise up from the ground, grow branches and sprout leaves. Sometimes the land resembles grass and rivers and flowered gardens. And sometimes still, the voices of ponies echo through the plains. It is as it should be, but hard to understand. For I know it isn't real. My imagination may still be in effect, but the moon is barren nonetheless. And She never stops calling my name. It's distant sometimes. So far away I can barely hear it. I almost forget it's there. But it is always there. Always. And the claws and talons and teeth of the land have battered my small being. I wear the scars inside. Hidden under skin and hide, under bones that mend and blood that runs clean. I wear the scars all over my soul. Torn and ragged. Beaten. You coward. I shake my head. Blink. Take a breath. "No." I am firm. I am certain. "No, I am not a coward." And somewhere deep inside me, past the veil of certainty, beyond my strengthening will—she's laughing, but says nothing more. What day is it? What year? What hour? What have they done down below? They talk of changes when I listen. They talk of things I do not understand. There's so much bad and so much good and I am not sure what to take from it. They do not speak of me any more. Be known, She whispers softly. Be known. "No," I reply. "I walk alone." She comes to me in dreams. She attacks the good I try to cling to. The fragments of my former self I've struggled to contain. One night I dreamt of snowflakes, but she forced me to melt it all. Now my dreams consist of fire, and all my friends are dead. She killed them all. I had few. So very few. But there were those who existed to love the night. Owls and bats and night-crawlers that nopony dared to face. But I love them so. I loved them so. But She's taken all the memories. All the times I've shared with them. She's killed them all. One should not waste one's time with non-sapient beings. "But they were my friends. They were my familiars." They were nothing. And down below, the winter sings. I see the clouds form whirls. The blizzards sweeping across the land. Watch the stars fall white. They are free. And there's my sister, in her palace, smiles as she watches. She watches as they do the work, and she sits by in comfort. She watches the clouds and mist and light, the snow and painted hills. She watches as the land is transformed by the purest of white snow. She's always watching. I've stopped sleeping altogether now. I couldn't take the dreams. She's got them all twisted around. Destroying what good memories I have left. It's troubling to not remember. All I have are screams and hate. My sister banishes me and resents me and fears what I can do. She doesn't love me. She never did. Nopony ever has. They're all gone now. Never existed. They've left my mind for somewhere else. They've gone to the Land of the Forgotten, the place where they will rot. I haven't moved in weeks. I've just been sitting here, watching, gazing intently at the spinning globe. The ponies below changing and living and loving and dying. They feel sorrow and regret and fear and hatred, just as I do. But they also feel love and happiness and wonder and excitement. Feelings I've begun to miss. I can't remember what it feels like to love. All I have left in my heart is this bitter coldness. This distant, hollow void where everything has emptied out. There is nothing to eat on the moon. And though I know I cannot starve, I still feel the hunger. My stomach tearing itself apart, growling angrily and raking at my sides. I don't move because I can't and because I have no will. I don't move because the pain is overwhelming. I try to pull my mind way but it's always there. So I watch the ponies below. Watch as they eat their meals and laugh with their friends and sleep contently in their beds. I watch as foals grow and live and love and die, and it would be depressing if I could still feel. It would be depressing if She hadn't taken that part of me away. Death is nothing to me. Empathy doesn't exist, compassion is worthless. I'm trying, I am, but I feel nothing. Deep inside, past my skin and flesh and blood, past my heart, past my mind, deep down in my soul there is nothing. There is nothing left, She took it all and I don't even care. Those ponies down below whose love I once desired mean nothing to me now. They are shells. Hollow beings that exist for no other reason than to serve as entertainment. It is all so petty from up here. Life. So meaningless, so dull and dreary and painful. But, Luna, don't you want their love? "I do not know." I furrow my brow. I find this disturbing. I really don't know. At first, I was easy for Her to control because of my desire for love. But now... can I even feel it anymore? This almost makes me want to laugh. "You've taken it all away. It's all gone. Nothing matters anymore." Then I throw back my head and cry, "I am dead! My dreams are dead! My heart is dead! My soul? Dead!" I feel a knot in my throat but I ignore it. "You've killed me. It's over! It's all over." The voice is silent. "Do you hear me? I am dead! It's over!" I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. I close them tight, my head still lifted to the stars. "Leave me alone!" Silence. There is a sort of calm stillness to the air. I will not open my eyes. The Nightmare will come back. She'll come back to take over, to devour, to find more to take away. But part of me... a very small, small part of me still wants her back. If only for another voice. It's meaningless down there. Pointless. It is. I don't want to go back. I feel nothing. I feel nothing! I don't care about them anymore. I don't care about love. I do not miss my sister. I do not miss Equestria. I do not! Oh why is the moon so empty? I'm pacing now. Can't stop. Back and forth, back and forth. Dust rises up around me. My hooves scuff the ground. Red smears follow every step. Did I cut myself again? I don't know. I keep pacing. Pacing.... Clear my head. Stop thinking. Stop! The sky is dark. The stars shine dull above. They don't care about me. They watch but they do nothing. They couldn't move if they wanted to. Forever trapped in the endless cycle of night and day. Light and dark. Around and around. Forever and ever and ever and ever- —Stop! Scarlet snakes at my hooves. Is there glass on the moon? What have I been stepping on? Can't feel it. Feel nothing. Just bleed. Bleed and never die. Live on. Keep living. It never ends. Never ends.... The sky is bruised black with blue veins and tiny specks of blood. Rigid teeth and solar talons circle all around. Just one giant monster encasing me here. Ready at any moment to open up its mighty jaws and— —Suddenly there's a flash of light, forcing me to a halt. A comet hurtles towards me, blazing white and green and gold. My heart starts pounding, screaming, run! Run! But I stand still. Force my legs rigid. Don't move..... Don't move. This is it. I brace myself for impact, hold my breath, close my eyes, wait for it... wait... wait— And the comet smashes down, throws me in the air. I'm floating. Drifting. It's so hot. Scorching. Burning. Fire light all around me. The night engulfed in flame. Dust and dirt and rock and debris soar all around me. A slash and a cut, battered, thrown, air rushing in my ears tumbling, turning, gliding —then crash into the ground. Everything stops. Dark. Empty. A void. Can't move. A voice calls out— Is it Her? Hard to tell. Don't recognize the words. Can't understand. Just a name. Mine? Can't remember.... Was it? Was my name— "Luna?" I blink and jump and twist my head. My heart is racing. My ears are ringing. Every bone in my body is screaming. I try to speak but I can't find my voice. There's talking all around me. Nonsense. I can't make it out. But it's not Her. It's not Her. Blurry shapes dance and duck and swirl around me. I smell blood. Everywhere. So much. Too much.... So hard to breathe. Something pushing on my chest- —Then suddenly healed- —In a second. I slow my breathing. Close my eyes, then open them again. Clear. I can see the shapes. I can see.... Ponies? Three of them. One leans over me, covered in cuts and slashes and so, so much blood. Sad green eyes stare down. I gaze at him in awe. "H-how...?" My voice is weak. My head is throbbing. I strain to hear his answer. "Banished, Luna. Like you." Banished. Like us. It can't be....