Dear Rainbow Dash,
If my calculations are correct, you will receive this letter immediately after you saw me get struck by lightning. First, let me assure you that I am alive and well. I've been living happily these past eight months in a different world known as Earth. The lightning bolt that hit me caused a magical overload and when combined with my teleportation spell it gave me the power to move between dimensions and end up here on Earth.
But Rainbow Dash, I'm afraid I will never be able to return. On this world, there is little to no magic, I spent my first few months here trying to channel enough magic to levitate a spoon, so I doubt I would ever be able to teleport between worlds, I had to use a bolt of lightning just to sent this letter! And I'm not prepared to try with myself.
I have befriended a Human who has been willing to look after me. He is wonderful, he is so understanding and protective of me. He has made sure that I'm as comfortable as possible. I even have the suspicion that he may be falling for me, and if I'm honest, the way he’s been looking after me, I wouldn’t say no if he asked.. So don’t worry about me, whatever you do.
Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to come here to get me. I am perfectly happy living in the fresh air and the wide-open spaces, and I fear that unnecessary inter-dimensional teleportation only risks disrupting the space-time continuum with potentially disastrous consequences. Besides, I came here on a lightning bolt, and there completely unpredictable, not to mention how dangerous they are. I'm amazed that I didn’t blow up!
And please take care of Spike for me. I know that you will give him a good home. Remember to walk him twice a day, and that he only likes canned dragon food. These are my wishes; please respect them and follow them.
And so Rainbow Dash, I now say farewell and wish you Celestia-speed. You've been a good, kind, and loyal friend to me. You've made a real difference in my life. I will always treasure our relationship and think on you with fond memories, warm feelings, and a special place in my heart.
Your friend in time,
Twilight Sparkle.
September 1st, 2012.
“Wow.” Lyra sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. “I never knew Twilight could write anything so touching.”
“I know. I still get a bit weepy every time I read it. Imagine that, ME! Weepy!” Rainbow Dash said egotistically.
“Are you sure we should go rescue her? I mean, she did tell us not to risk it.”
“We must. Who’s to know what those humans are like! It’s just a matter of time before something goes wrong and Twilight ends up…” Rainbow Dash couldn’t finish her sentence.
“Okay Rainbow, okay. No need to talk like that. But how are we going to get to Earth?”
“I have no idea.”
“That may be a problem.” Lyra started rubbing her chin. “OOO!” she shouted as she bolted out the door of the Library. Rainbow stood looking at the spot where Lyra had been standing with great confusion. She then ran for the door as well to catch her up. She had barely gone out the door when she saw Lyra, standing not far away, panting heavily.
“You okay, Lyra?”
“Yeah… I’ll be fine…” she panted. “I should really exercise more”. She lifted her head to look at Rainbow Dash. “I know this guy. He should be able to help us.”
“Who?”
“You’ll see…” Lyra started trotting down the street, Rainbow followed her, amazed at how slowly Lyra walked.
They walked to the other side of Ponyville, to the house that Rainbow Dash knew belongs to the creepy Earth Pony who gave sweets to little foals.
“What are we doing here?! This guy’s a creep! He gives sweets to little foals, and not in a friendly way, in a creepy way.”
“He does give sweets to us adults as well. All you have to do is ask.”
Rainbow didn’t know what to say, she never thought of that.
“And what’s so creepy about giving children sweets, ay? Typical, isn’t it, the society we live in instantly puts the label of creep on anyone willing to give away free sweets,” Lyra scoffed. She walked to the door and knocked. “Oh, and by the way, he can be a little… creepy.”
“Huh?” Rainbow said.
The door swung open. And there stood, in the doorway, was a tall colt, his coat was like the colour of milky tea, and his mane was grey in colour and wild and messy. His face was covered with a bit of soot and he was wearing a lab coat and a strange device on his head connected to a machine of sorts. He looked around outside nervously. “Quick! Come in!” he said with mild fear as he pulled Rainbow Dash through the door and slammed it behind them, leaving Lyra waiting outside.
“What’s going on?” Rainbow asked angrily.
“No, don’t talk. Not a word.” He took a suction cup which was connected to the device on his head and stuck it to Rainbow’s forehead. “I am going to read your thoughts.”
“What?” Rainbow shouted with terror.
“Not a word, not a word. Err…” His face contorted with concentration. “You… want me… to make a donation to the Equestrian Coastguard Society.”
“What? No!”
“Not a word, not a word. You… want me to sign a petition for gay rights in Equestria.”
“HEY! What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Ssh! Not a word! Err…”
Rainbow stopped him before he could insult her again and before she killed him. She pulled off the suction cup. “Listen, creep. I am here because I was told that you can help me get my friend back from another planet.”
He put his hooves on Rainbow’s shoulders and a creepy smile slowly curled onto his lips. “Do you know what this means?” he asked, shaking Rainbow slightly with joy.
“What?”
His face twisted with rage. “It means this THING doesn’t work!” he shouted as he pulled the device from atop his head and threw it to the ground.
Lyra heard the crashing noise and came in to investigate. “Is everything all right in here?”
“Lyra! There you are!” Rainbow shouted angrily. “This bozo was just calling me a lesbian! How many times do I have to say that I'm not?!”
“Rainbow, calm down. He didn’t mean it.” Lyra walked up to her. “He’s just a bit... you know… mad.”
“Thanks for letting me. Now do you mind if you tell me who the hay he is?”
“Oh… I didn’t do that already?” she rubbed her head, trying to remember. “Are you sure?”
“Yes!” Rainbow was becoming more and more aggravated.
“Oh, sorry. Rainbow Dash, meet Doctor Doctorate Brown. Or ‘Doc’, for short.”
Doc cooled down and turned around. “Oh, hello Lyra. It’s good to see you again,” he smiled warmly.
“Hi Doc. I’d like you to meet my friend Rainbow Dash.”
Doc swung round, with a mad looked in his eyes. “Hello, err… Rainbow Dash? Was it?” He put his hoof out for Rainbow to shake who, after some hesitation and curious looks, shook it.
“Yes it is, and don’t you forget it. Now can you help me get my friend back?”
“It depends, how can I be sure you aren’t just making this up? You’re not the first to ask me to build some kind of special travelling device. Just the other week I had two Ponies come in, asking for a time machine.”
“We’re not lying, I swear.”
“Well alright then. What was it that you wanted help with exactly?”
“We need to get to Earth.”
Doc jumped backwards, stumbling over all his equipment that was strewn upon the floor. “Great Scott! Why would you ever want to go there? What ever made you even think you can go there?” He recoiled in horror.
“My friend’s stuck there.”
“And just how would you know,” his voice was very sceptical at this point.
Rainbow took a small piece of paper from under her wing and waved it in his face. “She sent me a letter.”
“Really?” Doc became intrigued. “Let me see that.” He yanked the letter from Rainbow’s mouth and smelt it. “Well that certainly isn’t Equestrian paper.” He bit down on the corner of the page to get a feel of it.
Rainbow turned to Lyra. “What is he doing?” she whispered, Lyra just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, she had no clue either.
“This paper certainly isn’t of Equestrian origin, and neither is the ink.” He held the letter up in the light and read it. “This letter does seem to definitely not come from our world.” He suddenly dropped the letter and went pale. “No magic? NO MAGIC?! How is that possible?!” He started gesticulating wildly and pacing around quickly.
“What’s the problem?” Lyra and Rainbow said together.
Doc turned to them, with terror in his eyes. “You can’t teleport to somewhere where there’s no magic! You need it at both ends to jump successfully. The only way you can do is if you had something of ridiculous magical power, like a bolt of lightning.”
“What did you just say?” Rainbow sounded rather hopeful.
“A bolt of lightning. Unfortunately, you never know when or where it's ever going to strike.”
Rainbow contemplated something for a second. “What if… we could?”
“Weren’t you listening?” Doc fell back onto a sofa. “I just said they were unpredictable.”
“I'm a weather pony, I can control weather.”
“So?”
Rainbow swirled her hoof in the air and around it, like candy floss, a small black storm cloud formed. Rainbow gave it a tap and a small spark of electricity came out of it. “Could we use this lightning to jump to Earth and back?”
“No, that’s just normal lightning, not magical at all.”
“Could you build us a machine that could convert lightning to magic?” Rainbow said hopefully.
Doc brow furrowed as he thought hard about it. “I don’t see why not…”
“Yes!” Rainbow jumped in the air, raising a hoof in celebration.
“But we are going to need a lot more lightning than that. And I mean a lot. Basically we are going to have to drain the sky of lightning. Can you do that?”
“Err…” Rainbow blushed with embarrassment, she knew she couldn’t.
“Okay never mind now, never mind that now.” Doc rubbed his chin as he thought. “I could design a machine that would… yes, that would work.” Doc found some paper and scribbled a small calculation and aligned it with a map. “Hmph… We may have to blast.”