//------------------------------//
// Song and Dance 
// Story: Politics 
// by Dai Kirai 
//------------------------------//

4/1/14 11:30am Ponyville 
It was a slightly cold day in Ponyville with the sky mimicking concrete as a solid wall of grey. A few holes had formed in the solid sheet of clouds as pegasi worked to remove it to let the blue sky show through. Green was finally starting to show on the ground with the removal of the snow from the last storm before spring. Ponies of all three types were out cleaning up the snow throughout town. Pegasi were jumping on trees or using snow shovels on the tops of houses, making the snow fall into the waiting carts so that earth ponies could carry it away. Several earth ponies were using carts that looked like bulldozers to gather up the snow and move it out of town. Most of the ponies were wearing either a blue or a green vest, with every once in a while a pony in a beige vest would pass through town. 
Anthony was surprised at how cold it still was while walking through town with his lone bodyguard following closely in his wake. The Ambassador had to wear a brown overcoat to protect him from the cold. The roads were cleaned of snow and had been for most of the winter to make travel easier. But he wasn’t expecting all of the dirty looks ponies around town were casting him, especially any that saw the embassy with its snow laden roof which had started the day before when the locals began their strange ritual. When asked, all any pony would say was “Its winter wrap-up” as they need to get back to whatever they were doing but no pony would actually tell him what that meant.
As the ambassador finally got to his intended destination, the local bar, he opened the door and let Aiko through first to look for any potential threats. 
“It’s clear.” She flatly stated.
Anthony said his thanks and entered the crowded business, heading straight to the pony behind the bar.
Double Tap, a plain brown earth pony, his greying-azure mane making him look older than he really was; having just hit the legal age to take over his father’s bar. The bar was kept slightly darkened with the mahogany stained wood adding to the atmosphere. Double Tap served almost every type of alcohol served in Equestria and a few from farther away, including one or two from Saddle Arabia and the Griffon Kingdoms. He was currently trying to set up trade to get some basic liquor from Earth. 
“Just received those recipes,” The bartender thanked. “But, I will have to get a supplier from earth until I can get one of the local farms to start growing soy to make those weird foods.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem, with the number of human customers you should get being the only store that sells anything resembling human food, and that will include shipments of different drinks from Earth.” Avery had been ‘encouraging’ the ambassador to get some businesses to start catering to the needs of the embassy staff. Morale had stated to slip with the only places any human could find to get familiar non-fruit foods was in the Embassy kitchens. The Watering Hole, as the bar was called, was the only place willing to serve imitation meat products on principle alone. Eventually, a deal had been struck where Double Tap would serve the foods, producing his own, and he would be the first creature in Equestria to serve refreshments from another world. 
The bar was becoming more and more crowded as multi-hued ponies were coming in and taking the different seats scattered about the room. Double was running around getting drinks and preparing light entrees for the customers that came to order, yelling out when they were finished. After a minute of running around, the bartender came back to finish his discussion. “Sorry, it’s the winter wrap-up lunch rush.” He stated as more ponies kept coming in.
“What exactly is winter wrap-up?” He queried, hoping to finally get an answer that nopony had been able to offer him yet.
Double Tap started to look harried as practically every seat in his establishment had been filled up. “Sorry, if you care to come back tonight.” Double offered, running between his bottles and the little grill in the back. 
“If you seek answers on this tradition; then sitting over here is my only condition.” A familiar female voice said from the back of the bar. A hooded pony was sitting in a stall that was practically black, only the outline appearing solid.
Anthony walked over to the stall, shadowed by his security that scanned the small booth for dangers before they were halfway there. Her attention then shifted to any noises she could hear around them. Aiko had gone through the dossier the Embassy and the United States as a whole kept on each pony of importance. She had even gone so far as to personally interview the zebra before ever letting her near the Ambassador for their meeting.
“Good afternoon Zecora.” Anthony stated as he sat across from the zebra, hands folded on the table; his guard taking a seat between her charge and the rest of the patrons and ready to flip the table if any trouble started. “I never pegged you as a drinker before.” He joked.
“I recently acquired from a friend most inspired; a set of human recipes of their natural remedies. While my thirst this drink doesn’t sate; as a cure it works very great.” Zecora rhymed.
It took the Ambassador a moment to figure out what had been said, on Earth alcohol was used often to treat problems and to disinfect wounds. “What were you saying about winter wrap-up?” He wanted to get some answers before the ponies felt any more malice for his ignoring what was some sort of cultural norm. 
“They clean up winter every year; out of respect for the nature they revere.” Zecora started. “The weather here won’t clean itself; so removing it is vital to their health. In order for their new fields to grow; of this privilege they were bestowed. On this planet as you should know; it’s a symbiosis they can’t forego.”
“Uh, thank you.” Anthony started to feel he understood the problem. So by the Embassy not cleaning up the snow, they view it as a threat to their ecosystem. And they can’t clean it up because it’s United States territory. “If you will excuse me Zecora, I need to get back to the Embassy to assign someone to the task of cleaning up the snow. As thanks, let me get you some alcohol.” He offered, standing up to get back to his office.
“I would suggest both isopropyl and vodka since they can serve different purposes.” Aiko proffered, going off of basic first aid, basic for a field operative at least. 
“Of your kindness I will not soon forget; if you ever need any aid I will try to abet.” 
“It is my pleasure.” The Ambassador said, but was interrupted before he could exit the establishment.
The Brown Earth pony quickly came out from behind the bar, carrying a small purple book in his mouth which was quickly passed to the ambassador. “Tell Avery thank you for me. And can you see if he has any more of those backwards books?” The bartender uttered before hurrying back to serve more customers. 
Anthony followed his guard out of the bar and towards the Embassy. As soon as they cleared the building, Aiko moved behind him to better guard.

4/1/14 1:30pm Equestrian Embassy, Earth
Books were flying around the room with an unheard of speed; some were wrapped in a lavender glow. They would be quickly brought into the mare’s field of view, and if they didn’t have the answers would be quickly thrown in a random direction. Each book was a new addition to the lavender unicorn’s library on Earth. The previous day she had spent going through college and retail bookstores in Las Vegas; spending two months’ worth of bits for supplies on any book that looked useful for her next project. She had bought so many that they had to be teleported back to the Embassy.
The trip to the book store had been an interesting affair. Twilight had to call the TSA and get special clearance for a chariot to fly out to Las Vegas for her supplies. After filing the flight plan she quickly put a small Equestrian flag on either side of her conveyance to conform with United States laws on diplomatic vehicles. She quickly set off to search for reference materials. 
        “Colloquialisms! How could we have forgotten colloquialisms?” Twilight muttered as another book went sailing through the air, court room terminology not being what she needed at the moment. How could the humans not have known how similar please and freeze were to each other? Did they just not care? She fretted as another book went flying; hitting one of the shelves that covered the room so hard that its brethren joined it on the floor in the growing mess. 
        “Got it!” Twilight cheered as the book in front of her finally had some of the information she was after. “An idiot’s guide to idioms.” The purple mare stated, reading the title. “They have such strange names for their books. She remembered the nice worker at the book store. The one that spent the better part of five hours helping her to find the requisite books. Lily, the saleswoman, seemed a little odd with a piece of metal in her nose and short hair that reminded Twilight Luna’s mane, all dark blues. And the only one there that didn’t stare, even when asked how her hair was such an odd color for a human.
        Twilight was going to come up with a complete translation of every idiom and colloquialism in both English and Equestrian so this would never happen again. “But how did it happen in the first place.” She muttered as a quill was quickly levitated in the mare’s telekinetic grip. 
        Twilight talked to herself as the quill moved along a fresh piece of parchment. “Winning by the skin of your teeth. But teeth don’t…” 

4/1/14 3:00pm Human Embassy, Equestria
        The outside of the Human Embassy in Ponyville was a beehive of activity. Marines in fatigues were moving about with snow shovels and wheelbarrows borrowed from the locals. Approximately a dozen guards were out shoveling and moving snow into pre-designated areas for the ponies to remove, generally left in a wheelbarrow so it could be more easily transported. PFC Martinez and PFC Smith were tasked with getting the snow off the Embassy’s roof and dropping it into waiting containers. 
Avery and Victor were standing guard by the entrance to the Embassy. Both were wearing marine dress blues with a p229 at their hips. The Ambassador had returned a few hours ago and ordered the marines to start with the cleanup process. Avery had argued at first ‘it’s a waste of time’ until he realized the ponies were cleaning it up from the area around the Embassy and that it was probably cultural. The head guard immediately ordered several of the off duty staff to get snow shovels and get to work, without any of their weapons. There was already enough tension with humans and didn’t need them looking like more of a threat. Just in case, Avery ordered the on-duty guards to stand ready inside the Embassy. 
“Why the long face?” Victor snarked to his CO, who looked deep in thought. “Expecting them to start singing?”
“A little,” Avery confessed, missing his partner’s growing grin. “I don’t think it would be surprising if they started dancing either.”
“Winter wrap-up! Winter wrap-up!” Victor started to sing, making sure it was off key, grinning from ear to ear. 
“No. You don’t need to make up for their lack of festivity.” Avery started while his partner kept singing.
“Let’s finish our holiday cheer. Winter wrap-up, winter wrap-up. Because tomorrow spring is here, cause tomorrow spring is hereeeee.” Victor finished with the octaves going higher and higher, getting him weird looks from any creature within earshot.
“Nevermind. I’m glad they aren’t singing.” Avery looked pained, eyes flinching from the off-key assault. “Although,” he continued, “they could probably carry a tune in something other than a bucket. Now keep watching for trouble.” The head of security reminded.
“But nothing ever happens here. We might as well be guarding Mayberry.” Victor groaned. “Can’t we do something to pass the time?”
“Sure, in six hours, when we are off-duty. Until then, you have your orders.” His jaw locked, face turning serious.
“Lame.”

4/1/14 5:00pm Equestrian Embassy, Earth
Celestia sat in the second floor office in the Equestrian Embassy, taking over for Rarity who needed some time off to take care of her sister. At least it wasn’t as severe as what happened to Luna, the alicorn reminded herself, but it should never have happened in the first place. 
Celestia had brought in the palace physician, Roja Cruz to take care of the foal. Roja was an expert that hailed from Cannondoba. As soon as Sweetie Belle was well enough to be moved, she would be transported to a hospital in Equestria where she would be able to get the psychological help that would be badly needed. Attacks are never easy, especially on the young. It was one of the reasons the she had worked so hard to bring Roja to Equestria. Technically it wasn’t an attack, but it was still unheard of for anyone on the other side of the portal to go straight for lethal force.
Celestia had gone earlier to check on her student and to ask Twilight to make sure it never happened again, but she was already muzzle deep in books working on the situation. Next, Equestria’s ruler checked on Lyra and asked her to temporarily shift her focus to human confrontational actions, which the xenobiologist was already working on, and had started talking about humans using dominance versus prestige in social situations, and the impact that had on aggression and the use of force, along with their increased aggression towards any out-group members.
Celestia then picked up the small phone off of the small desk, the receiver specially made to hang off a pony’s ear to decrease the magical strain of holding it up. The ancient entity then dialed a special number that would put her through to the human President. 
The phone rang twice before a familiar female voice answered. “Rebecca Paige, how may I assist you?” It said in mock cheerfulness.
“This is Princess Celestia, may I please speak to the President?” She intoned, having met the polite secretary a few times.
The line was silent for a moment. While an incident report had been filed, this was the first chance Celestia had had to contact President Tow in any formal capacity. “One moment please,” the voice on the other end quickly stated, “She is in a meeting with the Director of the CIA, it will be just one moment.” 
“Thank you.” Celestia could hear the trepidation in the secretary’s voice. Word travels just as fast with both species. 
After a moment the Princess heard the click of the other end of the line picking up. “This is President Tow. And allow me to just say you have my sincerest apologies. We never expected an incident like that to occur and we have taken measures to make sure it will never happen again.” 
“Thank you Madam President. But how was such an incident allowed to happen in the first place?” Celestia politely inquired; holding out on judgment. 
“Private Gallindez was new to the post and had not yet had the opportunity to review the information packet.” President Tow informed. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but both him and his commanding officer have been reprimanded and transferred to different posts.”
“So neither is facing formal punishment?” Celestia kept her tone jovial, hiding the anger at such callousness. 
“Their careers are both dead, neither will be promoted again and they will be forced to retire within a few years. That is the most that can be done. Equestrians were never expected to rove so far as to reach what is left of Area 51. If any more punishment than that were delivered, it would have created resentment towards your subjects. This is a dangerous world and they are taught to act first.” The President implored. “We will gladly pay for any damages caused to the young Sweetie Belle.”
“Thank you. Your efforts are most appreciated.” Celestia stated as she put her phone back on its receiver. Then she quickly looked over the threat reports from both her visible guards and the ones under cover as normal ponies to keep an eye out for trouble. The reports from the mail room were the most disturbing. It’s only a matter of time before a human attempts something. She then looked over the order for more guards that Rarity had filed, happy the Ambassador was taking such serious efforts. And young Rainbow Dash should be an effective lookout. But she was still concerned by the level of violence that the humans considered normal. 
Celestia then went over the paperwork that had built up over the three days of this office being absent. The most pressing concern was supplying musical talent for some sort of soirée that Rarity had agreed to. There were a few notes scribbled on the files indicated that the major attendants were supporters of President Tow, giving Celestia some comfort. Attached was a list of musicians that the ex-fashionista had been looking at as possible representatives. The choices were: Octivia Philharmonica, Vinyl Scratch aka DJ PON3, and Lyra Heartstrings. 
Celestia ran through the possibilities. Vinyl did a spectacular performance at the Royal Wedding, but would she be too modern for a human high society party? Lyra was an option, but her excitability could pose an issue, but a pony like Vinyl has been known to keep an eye on her. Octavia would be the best option, but there is no way she would go without her filly friend since they are married. Could Vinyl be kept out of trouble while Octavia performs? Celestia then had to take into account how long the party would be lasting, approximately four hours, too long for any pony to comfortably perform.
Celestia grinned as an idea formed. There is nothing like variety after all. As she filled out the agreement to send the three musical talents to the dinner party in Los Angeles.