//------------------------------// // Part three // Story: I'm Still Me // by Eliyora //------------------------------// What difference did I think it would make? Why did I believe that seeing her again would be enough? I was a fool. A lovesick, stupid fool. She’s a princess, and I’m a farmer! It’s utterly ridiculous to think there was a ghost of a chance now! I had no doubt that she’s still the same pony. I couldn’t imagine that being a princess has suddenly made her look down her nose at ponies. All the same, she could literally have anyone she wanted. Who would be crazy enough to turn down someone as amazing as her? I certainly wouldn’t. I'm Still Me Part Three The party was in full swing. Especially with a guest list that was small for one of Pinkie's parties, the noise level was still rather impressive thanks to blasting music, gossiping and giggling mares, playful fillies, and the general atmosphere of joy that danced around within the library. Like every other party ever thrown in Ponyville, it was a fun-filled time for everypony. Everypony... except Big Macintosh. He didn't understand why he was feeling... the way he did. Just a few hours ago, he was so focused on seeing Twilight again that he couldn't even concentrate on his work. Now, here she was, right before his eyes, smiling and laughing as though she had never been gone. It made... no sense. He should have been dancing on air. Instead, he was sitting on... one side of the room... by himself, slowly nursing a cup of punch and feeling as though there was a lead weight in his stomach. He needed to pick himself up, go over to her, and, at very least, tell her that it was good to see her again. "Ow! Rainbow, will you stop pulling my wings!" Twilight yelped suddenly. Big Mac sat back down as quickly as he had gotten up, looking over at her again. That, right there, was the reason he was having so much trouble. Her wings... The very wings that now marked her as a princess. Regardless of her being in Ponyville again, she was not the same Twilight he knew. It was impossible that she was still the same. She was an alicorn now, an immortal ruler of their fine kingdom. His ears folded back and he sighed. He'd always felt his chances were slim at best. Now, how far apart were they? Here he was ... a simple farm colt. There she was ... a beautiful, magnificent princess. While he didn't doubt that she was still a good mare, kind-hearted and warm, he was mindful of station. For both their sakes, he could never tell her of his feelings. Twilight, meanwhile, kept on glancing over at AJ's downcast brother. She was worried. Was he upset over something? She knew he was never much of a partier, but this was something else entirely. She had never seen the Pinkie Party that failed to cheer someone up. Eventually, she pulled Applejack off to one side. "Is Big Mac okay? He's just been sitting over there looking depressed since I got here," she asked in a hushed tone. "Ah was actually wonderin' the same thin' mahself, sugercube," AJ responded. "Ah figured he'd be tickled pink to see ya." Twilight raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Tickled pink? Why's that?" she asked. AJ mentally smacked herself for opening her big mouth. "Nuthin' Twi," she said, giving her trademark lying grin. "Ain't nuthin' fer ya to worry about." "You are the worst liar in Equestria, you know that?" Twilight remarked. Applejack sighed. "Sorry Twi, but it ain't mah place to say anythin'," she explained. She looked over at her brother again. "Maybe... maybe one of us should talk to 'im." "Let me," Twilight said instantly. She made her way towards him, idly waving to Spike and Rarity as she passed them. AJ smirked. The more and more she thought about it, the more and more it seemed like Twilight really did like Big Mac. Unlike her brother, she wasn't worried about station. Twilight being in Ponyville presented a golden opportunity. The only real reason Twi's coronation had been a concern of hers before was that she wasn't sure if her friend would be around anytime soon. It was almost as though fate itself had heard her thoughts. The fact that Twilight showed such concern for him was also a good sign. She decided to wait just a little bit, to see if anything happened on its own. One never knew. She had seen much, much stranger things happen with her own eyes. This was nothing. Pinkie, meanwhile, was watching Twilight with a touch of concern, though for once she kept her thoughts to herself. Her Pinkie Sense told her that something was out of place. She didn’t know exactly what yet, but somehow, she was going to figure it out and try to make everything okay. Her friends being unhappy and uncomfortable was definitely not okay. But what was it? What was wrong? How could she help fix it? HMMMMMM! Pinkie had already concocted several plans, one of which involved a waffle iron, a toaster, a water balloon, gum, and a piece of string. How that plan would work is beyond even her comprehension, but it is worth a shot! --- Big Mac was just staring at the ceiling, allowing his thoughts run free with no sort of restraint. In the midst of the jumble, however, Twilight remained the center focus regardless. Nothing he tried seemed to get her off his mind, and it was becoming... frustrating. "Big Mac?" Said pony jumped at the sound of the... musical voice saying... his name. He looked at Twilight, who was standing- right there in front of him. A concerned look was etched onto her face. "Are you okay? I mean, I know you're a quiet guy, and all, but you haven't said a single word this entire time," she said. After several seconds, the only response he could manage was his trademark, "Eeyup." "Are you sure?" "Eeyup." "Then, why are you sitting over here by youself?" Twilight asked. "Don't you want to join the party?" "...eeyup." "But you're not going to?" "Nnope." "Why not? Is there something upsetting you?" "...nnope." "You're just as bad of a liar as your sister," Twilight said, frowning. "Big Mac, come on. I haven't seen you for a long time. I've missed you. I was, actually, really looking forward to talking to you again when I came back." Big Mac gave her a surprised look. She had missed him? Him in particular? Not only that, she had been wanting to talk to him? He was more thankful than ever for his red coat, because his face felt very warm. "Ah... Ah reckon Ah missed ya too, Princess," he finally managed. Twilight gave him a confused look at this, then remembered the wings on her back. She had somehow managed to forget them during the party (except for when Rainbow kept pulling at them to get a better look). She had felt like just Twilight Sparkle again during this whole party. The reminder was a bit jarring, not to mention unpleasant. She drew a deep breath. "Big Mac, you know you don't have to call me princess. Twilight's always worked before." "Ya weren't a princess before," he said quietly, his expression sad. "Ah'm jes' givin' ya the proper respect, Princess." He bowed to her. "E-excuse me. Ah have some chores that need doin' back at the farm." With that, Big Mac made an awkward, hasty exit, his heart pounding in his chest. "Way to go, ya idiot," he muttered bitterly to himself. "Why do Ah always have to be so buckin' awkward around 'er?" He trotted back towards the farm. Now he really needed to do some work. He really, really needed the distraction. Twilight watched out the window as he left. Now she felt depressed. She really had been looking forward to talking to Big Mac when she got back. He was one of the few ponies she could talk frankly with, using the vocabulary she was most comfortable with. She had also been hoping that she could use this trip to figure out what it was that caused that... funny flip in her stomach when she was around him. She was only going to be in town for a little over a week, after all. That wasn't much time with him. Or... rather... with everypony. Twilight shook her head. That was very singularly-focused. She couldn't spend her entire time focused on just one stallion, even if something in her screamed that was exactly what she should be doing. There were a lot of friends she had come to visit. Don't forget why you're here, Twilight, she reminded herself, turning to rejoin the party. All the same, she couldn't help one more glance at the window. But why were you? She looked down, and her ears flattened. Twilight had never seen Big Mac act like that in all the time she had known him. Was it simply because of her elevation? She couldn’t be sure, but for some reason she doubted it. Big Mac could be formal, for certain, but this was a little far for him. She wanted to know. She desired to know. She needed to know. “Hey, Twi!” Twilight looked over to Applejack. She and the rest of the girls were giving her looks ranging from concern to confusion, and Twilight didn’t need to guess why. She was pretty sure that she wasn’t the only one to see Big Mac’s less-than-elegant exit. --- Spike and Rarity, who were still off to one side, watched as she walked towards the others. They were silent for a moment, before Spike finally sighed. “Unreal,” he muttered. “What’s unreal, Spike?” Rarity asked. “It’s just... Twilight’s really been missing Big Mac, and the first thing that happens is that,” he explained, gesturing with his arm. “And now look. She’s all depressed. Big Mac is a big idiot.” “Rather harsh, don’t you think, Spike?” Rarity argued. “Less than you think. I’ve seen how he looks at her.” “Whatever do you mean?” Spike gave her a surprised look. “You mean you can’t tell?” he asked. “I can just from the way he watches her when she’s not looking, or how he gets all smiley when he sees her. Or how he turns red when she smiles at him.” “Spike, he’s always red,” Rarity pointed out. “Well, redder than usual,” Spike corrected. “Spike, are you saying that Big Macintosh has a crush on Twilight?” Rarity asked. “Well, duh! I mean, isn’t it obvious? I mean, I, of all dragons, should know! I’ve had one on you for years, now ...oops...” Spike turned a shade of red to make apples jealous at this little slip. Rarity, who had of course known the entire time of Spike’s feelings, just giggled. Spike, for his part, tried to pull down a hat that he was not wearing. Rarity gave him a comforting nuzzle. “Spikey-Wikey... you know I already knew that,” she reminded him gently. Though his blush did not lessen(in actuality, it strengthened), Spike did turn to look Rarity in the eye again. “Yeah, yeah,” he responded in an attempt to play it cool. For Spike’s sake, Rarity dropped the subject. “Are you so sure he has feelings for her?” “Completely,” Spike replied with a firm nod. “I’m not surprised, actually,” Rarity said. “When I stop and think about it, he does have a fair bit in common with her. They’re both incredibly intelligent ponies, with a dedication to the ones they love of the highest order; they’re both hard-working, and they are always willing to put others before themselves. On top of that, they are both masterfully skilled in their particular fields. And by no means are either of them bad-looking. Not that that is a sole reason for being attracted to each other, but it certainly doesn’t hurt anything, by any means.” “True. That, and Twilight hasn’t found Miss Smartypants in a while. Last pony she remembers having it is Big Macintosh... oh, wow... he still has that thing... It’s like me and the Gala tickets, all over again,” Spike realized. “Oh... my... goodness!!” Rarity squealed. “That’s just too precious!! I mean, I always took him for the strong, silent type, but he’s more sensitive than I thought!! That’s so... CUTE!!” “Doesn’t mean he isn’t a bit of an idiot,” Spike replied. “He still ran off when Twilight talked to him.” “Perhaps he was scared. Afraid she would reject him. Or afraid he wasn’t good enough for her...” “Not good enough for her? NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER!? That makes about as much sense as Pinkie Pie ever does. That guy’s been one of my few male friends! He’s helped her enough! She’s the same pony she always has been, even as a Princess! He’s one of the most eligible bachelors in Ponyville, if not Equestria! HOW IS HE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!?” “Spike, you know as well as I do how shy he is. Maybe even better. Perhaps, he simply needs help realizing he’s not only good enough for her, but better than many of the alternatives” Rarity suggested. “Like Blueblood...” She shuddered... very heavily. So did Spike. “Don’t even joke about that royal prat. He makes me use fancy words to insult him. You didn’t really even know him, personally. I had to know the guy, growing up. I wouldn’t mind forgetting him.” “You are not alone in that opinion, Spike, I assure you,” Rarity replied. “I can’t believe I ever thought about marrying him. What a waste of dreaming! At least it wasn’t my only dream...” “Yeah, you should marry someone nicer than him!” At that, Rarity smiled. “Alright, Spike, I think I will!” “Alright!” He thought for a second. “Wait... who?” “Can’t tell you!” “Oh, come on! That’s not fair!” “All’s fair in love and war, Spikey-Wikey!” She giggled when Spike just huffed. He’s adorable when he’s half-angry. ---- The first words out of Twilight’s mouth when she reached her friends were, “I don’t know. He just took off.” “What did ya say to ‘im?” AJ asked. “Just that I missed him and that I’ve been looking forward to talking to him,” Twilight replied. “Ah see,” AJ muttered quietly, almost to herself. Her expression became thoughtful. Twilight waited a long moment to see if her friend would expand on that, but the apple bucker remained silent. Irritated, Twilight asked, “Care to share, Applejack?” “Still ain’t mah place, sugarcube,” was the immediate reply. At Twilight’s rather annoyed expression, she continued, “Ah’m sorry, Twi’, but he is mah brother. Ah ain’t gonna break his confidence like that.” After a moment, the princess relented. “Alright. I have no right to ask you to do that. Just... promise me you’ll let me know if he needs anything. Help, someone to talk to, anything, alright?” “Ah promise,” AJ said, going through the familiar motions of a Pinkie Promise. Twilight had to be satisfied with that, so she decided to try to put it out of her mind for now, turning her attention back to her other friends. Why, indeed. “CAAAAAAAAAKE TIME!!!” The loud, sudden scream interrupted any and all trains of of any sort of thought for anypony in the room, and any neighboring room... and possibly any neighboring house. Everyone looked up at Pinkie as she wheeled in a cake so large it should not have been able to physically fit through the door. Rarity had to wonder how Pinkie had managed to hide this cake when she was there earlier. Pinkie popped up from behind the monstrous confection. “For the best princess and friend in all of Equestria!! Welcome home Twilight!” Pinkie cheered loudly. “Here! Here!” Rainbow agreed. “Ya’ll know it!” AJ shouted. As more and more added their own cheers, Twilight couldn’t help but smile. Regardless of what issues there were that needed resolving, it was good to be home, amongst friends who loved her so much. End Part Three