//------------------------------// // (46) Bad chapter:1 // Story: The nature of the beast. // by Kintra //------------------------------// (( This chapter here has no real relevance, I wrote it while I was in some sort of Mini-depression, no clue why. Either way, there ARE a few plot points im recycling in it, but aside from that this chapter is wrong, and all that jazz. Tl:Dr= This chapters stupid and shouldn't exist. Feel free to skippage.)) Man… I can’t even sleep right anymore. I just sit and think about how everything’s happened and can help but notice. Everything, ever had just, fallen into my lap. With little to no effort I have accomplished everything I set my mind too. Why on earth this wouldn’t have bothered me a bit, but here I just get left feeling….Hollow. I sit and I think about it and…I hate myself. I hate everything about myself because of it. At this point I’m simply gliding through life in Equestria without the slightest care other than “Don’t let your friends love you” which sounds like a really messed up thing to care about. But what else is there? How can I bring myself out of this….Whatever this is I’m in? How do I fix it? I need something to do. “UGH!” I sat up. This whole day has been great. I helped a lovely mare out of her own emotional hell hole and hopefully revived her shop, I got to spend quality time with light and Thorn… That’s what I need to do. I need some time with light. Now I just need to wait till the sun is up…. “Borreeeeeddddd…” I got up and walked about my room. Nothing in here I haven’t played with or looked over at least twice tonight… I need a walk. That will do nicely. Yes... I slip on my clothes and head out the door. I am Careful not to wake anyone as I head downstairs and into the night. The moment the cool breeze hits my face I smile. That’s something I miss… The wind. Being inside is so… Still. I start to walk to Sweet apple acres. No reason not to. Maybe I’ll go and visit Aj herself… At this time of night? Never mind. Let’s just walk… just walk… “Eclipse?” I turn to see rainbow following me, not even flying this time. “Hey dash. What’s up?” She looks closer at me. “Are you okay?” Ok? “I’m fine, why?” She moves closer, and looks at me harder. “It’s really late… and cold.” Cold? “It’s not that cold out here dash… Were you following me?” She backs up a step and sits down. “No! I was…Following something else.” Oh dash. I sat cross legged in the dirt road and looked at her. “What’s bugging you?” She just shook her head sadly. “You.” Oh. God damn it. Why is it that the one I like the most also happens to enjoy stalking… “I… Dash you know why we can’t…” Again she shakes her head at me. “We CAN eclipse. Twilight would understand! I don’t understand how you can say you love us and yet be so indifferent!” and with that she takes off. Most likely to her house. “Indifferent? Emotionally cut off. Dead inside. All things I used to think I would never get from my family.” I stood. No reason to wait around here. Back towards the farm, I’m not done with my walk. Maybe being dead inside wouldn’t be so bad, I mean, our entire world is made of cold calculating people. They are the only ones who ever really got ahead. Not the people with feelings, Oh no. Far too soft. “Eclipse?” Oh god. “You shouldn’t be out here… It’s really cold.” Again I turn but this time fluttershy is following me. She also has a saddle bag with a blanket sticking out of it. Looks like she hastily stuffed it in there. I’m only ten minutes to the outskirts of the farm…*Sigh* “Yea…I know fluttershy. Thanks for the warning.” I turned to keep walking, she just keeps pace. “No... I mean, Yes. But you should really at least take the blanket… It’s too cold out here.” It’s not cold…. “It’s not cold fluttershy.” I stop and turn and see she is shivering. Ah… fuckit. I walk over to fluttershy and take the blanket out of her saddle bag. I wrap her in it and pick her up. Then start heading back to her cottage. “Oh, no Eclipse, I wanted the blanket for you.” I just shook my head. “I’m not the one who’s shivering. You need it more; I don’t even know why you ponies follow me.” “Oh, but I was the only one Eclipse.” Pardon? “Hun Rainbow talked to me a short while out of my house.” “Eclipse. Are you okay? Rainbow never talked to you… I was sort of watching you when you left your house. You did stop at one point and sit though…” Of course. Because If It wasn’t hallucination I just wouldn’t be me… “Okay… can you keep this between us fluttershy?” She nods and lays her head on my shoulder. A few minutes later and we were at her door. She was asleep so I just took her upstairs to her bed. That’s what? Four times I’ve tucked in this filly? I stood there a moment and looked at her. “Seventeen?” I sighed and started downstairs. “Every time you string us along…then for what? Pull the plug just to see our reactions?” I looked behind me to see fluttershy on the stairs. “Why is it Eclipse? Hmm? Do we really mean so little?” I was at a loss for words. How can I explain that what I do is because I care? “It’s pathetic.” With that she rounds the corner back to her bed. What can I say to myself? I know fluttershy would never say stuff like that… I walk out and close the door. May as well head home. A solid four minutes later and I’m in front of my door again. I open it to find the fireplace lit. And Light in front of it. “Light?” I say as I enter the room. “Eclipse…. I’ve been seeing things.” Oh, well at least I’m not the only one. “Me too buddy… You know what they are?” He laughed. “Yea. I do.” Great. “You gonna clue me in?” “They are insecurities. Your soul is in half Eclipse. Your mind is going to screw with you to try and make up for your lost heart.” … Seriously can’t this shit be simple? Like ‘you have bad gas’ Or something. “I’m sorry…What?” “What have you been seeing?” “Uh, well I saw rainbow dash and she basically said I was a heartless bastard, and then fluttershy who pretty much said I was a tease.” He laughed. “I’ve been seeing you.” Creepy. “And you keep telling me just how worthless I am, how nothing I will do will ever be good enough.” “Alright, well here’s an Idea, Next time you see me? Punch me right in the face. Tell me to shut the hell up, because you are not worthless and there is nothing you could do to make me think otherwise. You got me?” He shook his head. “I understand it all. Tomorrow is the last day we will talk like this eclipse... I want to say I hate you. That I will never appreciate you. But I would be lying. I love you Eclipse. I know, I have only lived a few months. But I like to imagine that this feeling I have for you is love. I just hope that tomorrow when I pop, you will be the first person I see.” Should I cry now? “Light... Tomorrow you and I are spending the whole day together. I’m gonna be damn sure I’m the first person you see.” I saw him smile as he stood and jumped onto the couch next to me. “Thanks Eclipse.” “You’re welcome. Just…Stop being all sad and shit when you pop alright?” he laughed. “I can certainly try… If you…Wouldn’t mind. Can I sleep on your chest?” I laughed. Weird thing to ask, but he did live there a few months. “Yea. Alright.” I laid down on the couch as he jumped on top of me. “Eclipse?” “Yea” “Thanks for always being here.” “Anytime.” When I woke in the morning. I heard one of the saddest sounds ever. Light was crying. “Light?” I sat up and saw him on the opposite end of the couch. “Light?” He looked at me. His once intelligent guarded eyes were gone. “Is that my name?” I started crying… What was just one more day, why couldn’t he have stayed just one more day…? “Yea…. It is… Come here… Its okay, I’m your… I’m your dad.” I had never held any pony the same way I did him… It was like I just lost a friend. Just gone. This grief I had over everything was…Gone… I knew Light made me promise to take care of him. And I was going to be the best damn dad ever if I could…But could I? [Two hours later] We were sitting inside the kitchen, Light was eating his favorite disgusting sandwich and I was explaining some of what happened. “Okay. So… I... Am light.. And, you are my dad, Even though you’re not a pony.” I nodded and encouraged him to continue. “I am a normal pony, and happen to be very intelligent. But I have no memories, because of an accident?” “Yep, that about sums it up.” Why does my mouth taste like ketchup when I lie!! “Okay… Light… that’s okay… It’s kinda bland...” Heh. Good kid. “So when do I start school?” Oh GOD he’s one of THOSE kids! “When I get around to the paperwork. Perhaps you would like to join me?” He smiled and nodded. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this. But I would tryyyoh my god. “You’re a Pegasus now?” he looked at me like I was some sort of crazy guy until he looked at his back “What the hay?!”…Schools gonna have to wait… “We’re going to visit a friend first, you okay with that?” “I have WINGS!” … Yea. “Yes you do, that’s why we’re going to visit my friend.” He started rolling on the floor till I picked him up. Few minutes later I was rapping on Twi’s door. When spike answered and saw me holding light. “Who the heck is that?” “I’m LIGHT! Don’t you forget it!” Wow, hot head. “It’s Light spike. Can I talk to Twi?” He nodded and let me in. Twilight was really focused on writing something, Shame it has to wait. “Twilight!” she looked up looking from me then to light where her eyes widened. “Does he have…?” “Yes wings. Can you help?” “I don’t need help! I’ve got wings!” “You don’t have wings. I meant your horn.” Seriously? Oh wow. “Twi when we came out here this morning he had wings.” I put him on the ground and watched him run around a bit. “Eclipse, had his body fully developed?” AHAHAHAHA “What?” “I mean, is he done…Reverse growing.” “How should I know? I’m the third wheel in this process. He knew more than I did. Sorry...” She sighed and picked up Light by magic. He gave her an angry look. After she moved him forward she looked a moment. “It’s okay. He’s still in the process of his body deciding what it wants.” I laughed a little. “Does that mean light could become a girl?” The serious look on her face gave me more answer then I needed. “So… I may have a daughter?” “Yes eclipse…It can happen.” …Why is this shit never simple?