//------------------------------// // 100 // Story: Whispers // by Fire-Dash //------------------------------// 100 is a number that creeps into the corners of my mind. 100 days have passed. 100 whispers penetrate my mind. Luna, who was she? The mare in the moon. Still there? Uncertain. But the moon is full. We don't need her. Not anymore. Sometimes I can see them. The ponies below. I can see them just behind my eyes. They go about their days without a care in the world. They shop in the markets and read in the libraries and stroll around in the parks. They play with their foals and write letters to relatives. They have friends and family and pets and gardens.They have lives that go on and thoughts so simple with their hopes and their dreams. They continue on as though nothing ever happened. As though nothing had ever gone wrong in their perfect little utopia. Life is good. Life is fair. 100 days. That is how long it took them to forget me. There's a scent in the air, or at least what I perceive as the illusion of scent and air. It smells like rusted iron and stale salt. I have to stop for a moment to ponder what it is. Then I look down and survey the land around me. Pale grey and silver-white, but decorated distinctly with tiny smears of red. Nestled in the crevices of half-circle imprints in the dust. They glare at me, angry. Asking, 'what did you do?' "I've cut my hooves," I reply, noticing the pain for the first time. 'Reckless,' they say back. 'Reckless, reckless.' I've managed to split my right back hoof and cut the other three. Just deep enough to draw blood, but not deep enough for me to notice right away. I do not know how I did it. All I know is that I'm starting to feel the sting. The dust gets into the wounds, the blood gets into the dust. I do have blood. I've drawn it before. What I don't know is if it will ever run out. I've only been here for days. Days, not years, and I'm already breaking. So many whispers. Voices. They say that I am evil. Malicious. Cold. Unfeeling. Brutal. Evil. They call me the 'lesser sister'. The fallen one who wanted too much, who fought too hard. The star that rose just after evening, in the shadow of the sun. The jealous star who tried to steal too much light and ended up a stone. The star that fell but never hit ground. I'm sorry, Celestia. I'm so sorry.... I lay down again in a bed of dust, huddled into a ball, tail wrapped around my body. I'm so sorry.... All I want is to go home. All I want is to apologize and hug my sister and tell everypony that it wasn't me. It was that bitter feeling I have deep inside. That cold, cold, cold feeling in that secrete, hidden corner of my heart. It's so strong and so hard to fight. But I will suppress it. I will. If only to go home.... Oh sister, I'm sorry. No, says a voice from somewhere deep inside. We are not. And all the heat rushes from my body. Everything is hollow and empty. I'm fighting, I'm trying. Fighting the feelings, those amazing feelings, dangerous feelings. The hate is so powerful, so overwhelming, I cannot fight it. I cannot I cannot. We are not weak inherently. We can be strong. We can make ourselves strong. And all we have to do is will it. Want it. Desire to get off this rock. Get back to Equestria and rule as we were meant to. Let the night eclipse the day—for eternity! I'm struggling. Trying not to let this force overpower me. But it's too strong, and I'm too weak—but I must! I must not let this side come out again. This is the side that exiled me. The side that trapped me here. This is the side I must control. But I'm failing. Everything is dark and dim. I feel numb, closed off, distant. Nothing matters. Everything seems so far, far away. My heart is pounding. Thump-thump... thump-thump... thump-thump... Every breath is amplified, every gasp, every draw, every exhale. I'm floating, floating on the moon, drifting from my body. I'm losing. I'm losing the fight. And all around me, there's that voice. That hollow echo of a voice. Accept, it coos, accept your true self. And I know I want to do what it says. I want to accept. I want to embrace her—my other side. The nightmare that persuaded me to rebel against the light. My bitter self, my jealous self. She penetrates my mind, enters my dreams. I can't get away. —I can't get away. And there's a flash— Massive. Violent. A wave, crashing! Rising, boiling, drowning— I gasp for breath but choke, I struggle but I'm paralyzed. She's got me. Grabbing, dragging— —Stop! No! Please. I don't want— I don't want to— Please! I open my mouth to scream but I can't make a sound. There's no one around to help. No one around to see. —Get her away! No. Embrace. We are one. Accept the power that is your birthright. Do not fight me, Luna. You don't want to fight me. My heart slows. She's right. I don't. I take a deep breath. I want her to take over. I want to feel the power coursing through my veins. I want to be strong! But— But I can't. She's too dangerous. Too dangerous.... With one final violent burst of will, I gather up all my remaining strength and throw her from my mind. Hurtling her as far away as I possibly can. "Enough!" And I fall to the ground. Crumple like a wilted flower. Darkness. I can feel the moon spin.