//------------------------------//
//  Destruction, Royalty, and the Chaotic God 
// Story: The Story of Ian Camron 
// by Swordoath 
//------------------------------//

	Honest to God, I almost thought I’d woken up at home on my own couch. Until I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes, and remembered the hooves. I let out a quiet moan of disappointment, and then fell back onto Lyra’s couch. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. I remembered something about having to be ready for twilight to pick me up at ten, so I figured I had some time. I thought about looking around the house a bit, but the thought was weird. I’m always uncomfortable when I’m in someone else’s home; it’s another one of my ‘pet peeves’. I could go out for a walk, but then Lyra and Bon-bon might wake up and would wonder where I was. 
I headed into the bathroom, and for the first time, got a good like at my now equine face. Same blue fur, I had darker colored mane with red tips. My irises were red, which seemed pretty weird. (Compared to what had happened so far, it barely surprised me though.) I looked basically like any of the other ponies I’d seen when going through town yesterday. 
I looked outside, the sun was just beginning to rise. I heard someone come down the stairs (It’s really not hard to hear hooves on stairs). Bon-Bon came down, soon followed by Lyra.
“Good morning Ian.” Bon-Bon said, on her way into the kitchen.
“Ian, guess what?” Lyra asked me excitedly.
“Uh… I’m not the only person to fall through to your world?” I responded.
“No, that’s not it. Remember those questions I asked you?”
“Barely any, but I remember you did. Why?”
“I recorded them. And I wrote out the questions and answers last night!” She said, grinning.
“That’s… cool. But why?”
“I didn’t want to forget anything, duh! Besides, maybe the Princess wants to see…” She paused, her eyes widening. “Oh! I just had an idea! What if-”
“Wait- Lemme guess. You think you should come too?” I finished.
“Yeah! Is that okay?” She asked.
She obviously wanted to help. Lyra did actually go to the trouble of taking notes (even if it was slightly creepy), and she had put me up for the night. If she wanted to come, why the heck not?
“Sure. If Twilight will let you.”
I could have sworn she was about to explode with excitement. She probably would’ve if Bon-Bon hadn’t come back in to tell us she’d made some breakfast. Who would’ve known that ponies made cereal?

After breakfast, Lyra proceeded to ask me more questions, writing them down directly instead of recording.  I tried getting her to answer some questions I had- Why they’d have a princess and no queen, how they picked things up with hooves, and what her cutie mark thing meant- but she kept the conversation focused on humans and me. Soon enough, Twilight came over.
There was a knock at the door, and I used this opportunity to break away from Lyra’s questions and answer. Bon-Bon got there first. 
“Oh, hi Twilight. You’re here for Ian, right?” Bon-Bon let her in.
“Yes. Good morning Lyra, Ian.” She greeted us.
“Oh. Hello Twilight.” Lyra started, rising from the couch. “I wanted to ask you, could I come with you and Ian to see the Princess? I have some notes I took on the answers he gave me. Maybe she wants to see them…?”	
“Well… Hm…” Twilight paused and thought for a moment. “I suppose that’s a good idea, though I’m not sure if that’s what she was going to talk to him about.”
Lyra grinned and grabbed her notepad. 
“Well… Is there anything else we need to do here, or are we going?” I asked. 
“Nope! Bye Bon-Bon, I’ll see you later!” Lyra said to her friend.
I followed the two of them out to the train station. Twilight bought a ticket for herself, Lyra for herself, then I was next. I still didn’t even know what the currency was called, let alone what the value was. The stallion at the ticket counter asked for twelve ‘Bits’, and I had twelve coins. Thankfully it was enough.  We got onto the train, which was surprisingly vacant. I sat behind Lyra, and Twilight on the other seat across from mine. It was pretty awkward, no-pony (You gotta admit, some of these terms are just ridiculous.) said anything for half the ride. Twilight asked me what my phone was when I pulled it out. I told her it was a device for talking to people across a distance. 
“Can you show me?” She asked. “I’d like to know how it works.”
“It won’t work here, the person I’m contacting needs to have one too. There also needs to be a satellite for the signal to bounce off of. So… no. I can’t show you.”
That probably left her more confused, and with more questions than answers. I let her see my phone (Or, well, let her take it from me.) and mess around with it. I grabbed it back when she started taking it apart. 
“Yeah, uh, don’t take it apart. I don’t want to break it.” I told her.
“Oh, okay then. Could I see it later though?” She asked. 
“I don’t see why not.” I replied. I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t give a straight answer.
“Oh, can I see it?” Lyra asked. I tossed her my phone, then turned back to Twilight.
“So… what can you tell me about the Princess? Her name was Celestia, right?”
“Yes. Her and Princess Luna rule Equestria, and they raise the Sun and Moon.”
“So she’s a unicorn?”
“No, she’s an Alicorn. They have Pegasus wings, Unicorn magic, and Earth-pony strength.”
Huh, I thought. I wonder why isn’t she Queen? 
“Hey, Ian, what’s this place? Lyra interjected, waving my phone at me and interrupting my thoughts. 
“Oh… That’s the picture of my house.” I told her, taking my phone back. 
“It looks really nice.” Lyra said.
“Yeah, I like it.” A thought occurred to me. What if I never get to go back to it? What if they’re unable to send me back to my world? I might never see my parents again, or my brother. I might- I stopped thinking like that. It wouldn’t help. I went with my normal way of distracting myself from negative thoughts- Ignoring them. I flipped to the next picture in the phone absentmindedly. It was me, the only picture I took of myself (The phone was still pretty new, so I hadn’t taken many pictures.). 
Lyra gasped, and asked “Is that you as a human?”
“Yeah. Did you want-” She snatched the phone away and studied the picture. “… to see it?”
Lyra started taking notes again. I turned to Twilight, who shrugged at me. I sat back in my seat. The rest of the ride was void of conversation, other than Lyra asking me how to change pictures. (She was disappointed to find no other pictures of me or my family and friends. I don’t take many pictures.) It seemed like an unbearably long time for the train ride to end. 

When we finally did get off, the new town/city impressed me. That Canterlot place was very well built, and the architecture was very nice, in my opinion. It had a certain fantasy element you never really see in my world. I got some distasteful looks from some of the unicorn inhabitants, but I’m used to shrugging off that kind of thing. I’ve dealt with enough snooty people from home to simply not care what they think. We walked right up to the castle, and there was a moment of delay when we had to get past the guards. They wouldn’t let me or Lyra through, until Twilight got them to. The castle was full of mosaics and stained glass windows, depicting what I guessed were either historically significant events, or just beautiful pieces of artwork. Regardless, I was in awe of this beautiful place. 
Soon, we approached the throne room. I noticed there was only one princess here, and one throne. The princess herself was noticeably larger than any of the other ponies I’d met, and she had both wings and a horn. Her coat was a brilliant white, and her mane was a myriad of shimmering colors. She definitely had an air of authority about her, and the crown on her head made it blatantly obvious she was royalty.
“Ah, hello there, Twilight. It’s nice to see you again.” The Princess said.
“It’s great to see you again too, Princess.” Twilight said.
“I see you’ve brought you’re friend Lyra with you, as well as… I assume this is Ian?” the Princess questioned.
“Yes, I’m Ian.” I said. “It’s, um, a pleasure to meet you.”
Dammit Ian, I thought. Don’t sound so scared.
Lyra did what I supposed was a curtsy or something, and said “I’m happy to meet you personally, Princess.”
“Yes, quite nice to meet you two. Twilight, Lyra, please excuse me, I’d like to speak with Ian in private.”
The two of them backed out of the room, leaving me with Celestia. I honestly had no Idea what she wanted to talk to me privately about. Hopefully, a way home. Hopefully not some kind of punishment for breaking an obscure inter-dimensional law I knew nothing about. 
“Ian, first of all, I’d like to apologize.” She said. “I’d have Discord here to apologize as well, but he’s not around at the moment.”
I was definitely caught off guard by this. I hadn’t expected the princess to apologize on behalf of this Discord person –pony –whatever.
I said something really intelligent, like “Uh, that’s fine.”
“I’m also sorry to say that while he was able to bring you here, we don’t have a way for you to get back.” She continued. 
“What? How come?” I asked, interrupting her. 
“His magic is based off of chaos, so the portal he opened was random. If we tried to send you back the same way, the portal could open in any other world.” She answered me.
“I see.” I said. “So basically I’m stuck in this world?”
“Yes, I’m afraid you are. Again, I apologize for Discord’s actions.” Celestia said.
I sighed, then asked “I suppose you want to know more about Humans, like Lyra?”
“Only if you’re comfortable with our asking.” Celestia said to me. 
“Then you can let Twilight and Lyra in. Twilight would want to know more too, and Lyra went ahead and took notes.”
“Really? Then you can go get them, if you’d like.”
I went out and got the two of them, and the whole audience became a Q and A about humans. It was honestly boring, and there were a few things I didn’t even think about at home that were brought up. Lyra’s notes at least prevented them from asking things more than once. The only high point was when Discord finally showed up.
The guy looked like nature had thrown spare animal parts in a blender and solidified the result. He had body parts from lions, goats, dragons, birds, horses, and I-don’t-even-know-what-that-is. I would recognize him as a chaotic god even if I hadn’t heard about him prior to meeting him. As chaotic as he was, he of course made quite the entrance… By teleporting in on top of me.
“Ow! Get off!”  I yelled at him when he warped in.
“Oh?” He levitated off me. “Who’s this?”
“Discord, the stallion you just stood on is Ian, the human you brought here.” Celestia glared at him.
“Oh dear, Sorry. Didn’t mean to. But what do you expect? Teleporting has its chances; it was bound to happen to SOME one.”
I glared at him angrily.
“Oh, right, the whole ‘brought-me-from-another-planet’ thing. Sorry about that too.”
This guy was infuriating. I probably would have ended up exploding something right then if I didn’t remember to keep my cool. I had no idea why they kept him around. I made a mental note to get some revenge at some point.
“Discord, just why were you opening portals?” Twilight questioned, sounding annoyed.
“What? Can’t a Draconequus have a little fun?”
“Your ‘fun’ sucked me into this place,” I reminded him. “Against my will.”
“Well I said I was sorry, didn’t I?”
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I kept telling myself. 
"Calm down Ian." Lyra whispered to me. I was doing a horrible job at hiding my anger, apparently.
"Oh yes, You need to calm down. You're the magical equivalent of a bomb, if I'm not mistaken?" Discord teased.
What the heck did that mean? Was he talking about when I made that vase explode? Somehow, the Princess didn't either notice or acknowledge what he'd said. 
“Discord, you will be held responsible for this mishap. You will be punished.” Celestia said.
“Oh, right.” He said nonchalantly. “I’m sure it will be dreadful.” 
I couldn’t take it anymore. My anger exploded, as did several of the stained-glass windows. I saw I tackled Discord, and smashed a hoof into his face. He teleported away, and reappeared leaning against one of the marble pillars lining the throne room. He was undamaged, though doubtlessly the pillar wouldn't be at this rate.
“Oh, how wonderfully Chaotic!” He said, delighted.
I charged at him, boiling with anger. The pillar behind him exploded into rubble, and he warped yet again.
“You careless, stupid, demented son of a-!” I yelled, then was cut off. Some kind of light beam struck me in the shoulder. I could no longer move voluntarily, and was loosing consciousness. The floor rose to meet me quickly, but I blacked out just before impact. 

I awoke lying face down on the floor. My head was swimming, and my whole body was sore. Silently, I rose to my hooves. The sun was much lower in the sky now. The throne room was in perfect condition, which surprised me. There was no sign of Discord, thankfully. The room was otherwise empty of any of the previous occupants. My sweatshirt was in tatters, and my phone had skittered out of the pocket somewhere, I supposed. I tried the door, which was open, and was... greeted by several guards. 
"Freeze!" One said. How cliche. 
"Freezing!" I said, holding my hooves in plain sight.
One guard whispered something to another, who ran off down the hall to my left. I heard "Tranquilizer", which was probably not a good sign. The other four guards didn't take their eyes off me for one second, until the fifth came back with Twilight, Lyra, and... the Princess. 
I was completely unsure of what to expect. I'd probably scared the hell out of them when I attacked Discord. I'd ruined the throne room in mere seconds. I went completely insane, right in front of them. If they didn't fear me before, they definitely would now.
My fears were interrupted when Lyra ran straight past the guards and gave me a hug. Twilight let out a sigh of relief. Obviously they'd been worried. Lyra whispered something in my ear, "I'm glad you're still okay." She then let go, and stepped back out of the circle of guards. 
The Princess, however, did not seem to show much of any emotion. She stared directly into my eyes, and it definitely was not comfortable for me.
"I... Um..." I had no Idea what to say. That display of my lack of self control was not something you could just say 'Sorry' for. I'd just exploded half her throne room and attacked what I assumed was one of her subjects. 
"Ian, come with me. We need to talk." She said. Or rather, commanded. 
Time to see if I broke any records along with those laws, I thought sullenly. I wonder if they'll use a dungeon.
I followed Celestia down the hall, leaving Lyra, Twilight, and those guards to wonder how severe my punishment would be.