//------------------------------// // #324. Hopeless in Love // Story: Gone in 1800 Seconds // by True Blue Spark //------------------------------// The Prompt: One (or more) of the Crusaders is crushing on one (or more) of the Mane Six. ------ I hate Twilight Sparkle. Alright, alright, I don’t really hate her. She’s okay, I guess. Always tried to help us Crusaders out—back when we were still little kids and still crusading, I mean—and she doesn’t seem to mind me crashing into the library now and then. And yeah, there’s the whole saving-Equestria-once-a-year thing. I guess I just don’t think she’s as super amazing as everypony else always says, you know? I mean, sure, she’s a super-powerful princess now, with magic even stronger than Celestia’s or something. But how many times has she screwed stuff up using the wrong spell? Do I have to bring up the Smarty Pants doll again? And I’d run out of feathers before I could count all the times she’s made a bad situation worse! And even after all this time, she’s still totally clueless about all sorts of stuff! If it’s not in a book, it might as well not exist to her. And talk about... oh, what’s that word Spike’s always using... Neurotic, that was it. I swear she plans her day down to the second! But certain ponies seem to think she’s just the most fantastic mare who ever walked the earth. And I’m like, are you kidding me? First of all, she’s not a tenth as cool as Rainbow Dash, and second of all, just because she’s teaching you magic doesn’t mean you have to melt all over her! “Ahhh... There she is, Scootaloo...” No, I don’t hate Twilight. What I do hate is the way Sweetie Belle just won’t. Shut. Up about her. Take right now, for instance. We were supposed to hang out, she doesn’t even have a magic lesson scheduled today, and yet here we are, walking by the library so she can swoon over Twilight again. I swear if she gets any schmoopier, my teeth are gonna rot out of my skull. “Doesn’t she look beautiful today?” she gushes. I make an unenthusiastic noise that sounds kinda like “Mnuhh,” and from her cloud of floating hearts Sweetie takes that as agreement. I seriously can’t see it, though. Am I the only pony in the world who just doesn’t get the “sexy librarian” thing? Twilight’s manecut is flat and boring, and she’s got the physique of somepony who spends all her time sitting around and reading! Okay, I suppose she’s a little sleeker now that she’s become a princess and all, however the heck that works. But beautiful? Hardly. Now, take a look at me. All the exercise I get from speeding around town has made me nice and toned all over, head to hoof. And I’m not exactly the girly type, but I’ve been paying more attention to my mane lately. Even been trying a little makeup here and there. Y’know, just for kicks. But do I ever get called beautiful? Yeah, right! Everypony’s too busy fawning over the Princess. Sweetie Belle sighs dramatically. That sister of hers is a bad influence, I tell you what. “Oh, if only she would look my way for just a moment! Oh, Scoots, do you think I’d ever have a chance with her?” “I don’t know,” I growl, fighting the urge to roll my eyes until they pop out of my skull. “Why don’t you stop talking about it and go find out already?” Maybe then I can actually have enough peace to think. She stops and stares at me. I start fidgeting, wondering what’s the matter with her. Just when I’m about to ask, she shouts, “That’s it!” “What? What’s it?” “I’m gonna do it, Scootaloo!” Sweetie announces, a look of determination on her face. “I’m gonna tell Twilight how I feel about her!” My jaw drops. “You’re what? Hold on, Sweetie, maybe this isn’t—” She shakes her head. “No, you’re right!” Her voice squeaks cutely on the last word. No, wait, I meant annoying...ly. “I’m never gonna know unless I go for it!” “No, seriously, isn’t this kinda sudden for—” “Sorry, now is the moment! I’ll let you know how it went later, okay? Bye!” Without another word, Sweetie dashes off toward the library, busting the door down without a thought. So now I’m alone, I guess. That’s cool. I start wandering down the street. I’m not sure where I’m going. Wherever. Doesn’t matter. Apple Bloom’s busy on the farm. Maybe I’ll just keep walking until I end up in Manehattan. I guess it’s pretty obvious what Sweetie Belle looks for in a mare. Twilight’s powerful, influential, super intelligent... She never struggled in school, she figured out how to fly after only having wings for a few days, she’s saved the freaking world... When you look at it like that, she’s pretty much the exact opposite of me, isn’t she? No wonder Sweetie likes her so much. And now she’s going off to confess. And, I mean, of course Twilight’s gonna say yes. You’d have to be crazy to turn her down! You wanna call someone beautiful, she’s beautiful. Growing up was seriously kind to her, in the “curves in all the right places” sorta way. And she’s sweet and thoughtful, and so much fun to hang out with, and when she grins her face just sort of... I don’t even know how to describe it, but... Oh, you know what, I don’t even care any more! Good for her and good for Twilight! They can run off to Canterlot and have a bunch of super smart magical babies for all I care!* Where am I? I wasn’t paying any attention. I can still see the library off in the distance, so not far enough yet. Wait, is that Sweetie Belle coming out already? As much as I don’t want to hear how it went, I guess I better go pretend to be happy for her. I cover the distance with a few flaps and land in front of her— What. She’s crying. Why is she crying. “S-Sweetie Belle? Wha, what happened?” Between sobs, she manages to get out, “T-Twilight said... she likes me a lot, and... and she’s flattered, but she’s not... s-she doesn’t...” And now she’s bawling too much to get any words out. The first thing I feel is relief, with a little bit of hope mixed in. Maybe that stupid crush is finally over with, and I can stop hearing about Twilight this and Twilight that. And then the rest of me catches up, and I want to puke. Sweetie Belle just had her heart broken, and that’s all I can think about? No wonder it took me so long to fly, I’m the lowest dirtbag of a pegasus who ever lived. I pull her into a hug and let her sob on my shoulder. She needs a friend right now, dammit, so that’s what I’m gonna be. “Shh, just let it out,” I tell her. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” Who knows, maybe if I get her to believe that, I’ll start believing it too.