Chapter Sixty Two: Vaudevillain
~BlackRoseRaven
Scrivener Blooms and Luna Brynhild fidgeted as they sat in their cramped, third-row seats in the Equinox Theater. Scrivener was horribly aware of the ponies gossiping and pointing them out, hard as he was trying to follow Twilight's advice to just ignore them as she held his hoof lightly in her own on one side, Innocence happily bouncing in her mother's lap.
Antares was on Luna's other side, and Scarlet Sage and Apple Bloom had both decided to come and see the spectacle promised by the Fairweather Players' version of Bright's Bewildering Beat as well... although for seven-month pregnant Scarlet, her eyes shone at the very mention of foals these days, so that likely had something to do with her eagerness to attend the play as well.
A few other familiar ponies were scattered throughout the audience, including a grinning Burning Desire who had polymorphed himself into a slightly-more normal-looking unicorn with a flowing red and orange mane and tail. Then he had gone and decided to attract as much attention as possible to himself with the lavish, ornate suit he was wearing, complete with glittering gemstone buttons and other assorted jewelry.
Ersatz Major was here too, easily concealing her identity behind a large, floppy hat and clad in an elegant dress, a beautiful pearl necklace glittering over her breast. She was only smiling kindly at Burning, ignoring the way he was charming all the mares around him... but it probably helped that even as he talked up the others, it was her that he all-but-clung to in spite of the fact she was only curiously looking out over the audience and the stage every now and then.
Celestia had a quieter spot, up in one of the old balconies along the top of the auditorium, and Discombobulation was lounging beside her. Scutum was calmly on guard behind the mare: not because she needed it, but because Rosewood was here as well, with a giant bag of popcorn and a large cola she kept slurping at, earning horrible looks from the Draconequus.
The theater was packed: in fact, ponies were standing along the back as well as in seats, and the young ushers were hurrying back and forth as they checked tickets, for possibly the first time ever actually needing to ensure that ponies were all in their proper places. It probably had something to do with a few rumors that had spread about one of the main cast... and of course, the fact that apparently Underbrush himself was lurking somewhere around here. Scrivener hadn't seen him in the audience or anything, but he didn't exactly find it difficult to imagine that the earth pony might be hanging from the rafters like a giant bat or something.
Luna snorted in amusement at this, smacking him lightly as she muttered: “I cannot believe thou art so afraid of him. 'Tis not as if thou even has to fear him taking away thy precious books: why, just today we passed thy damn poetry book sitting on display in one of the shop windows!”
“Yeah. Kind of scary, isn't it?” Scrivener remarked, and then he paused and added: “Maybe that's why I'm so afraid of Underbrush. He has enough influence to make me likeable and popular. He must be a djinn or something.”
“Oh, there are no such thing as djinn, thou art ludicrous. At least, not in the sense thou art thinking of.” Luna paused, then glared over at Scrivener Blooms. “And will thou stop assuming that every time I speak of something, 'tis because I have killed it?”
“I will when we talk about something you haven't killed.” Scrivener retorted, and Luna huffed before bopping him with her horn, making him wince a bit. “You're a jerk.”
“Shush, both of you.” Twilight scolded, and Innocence half-yelled at them in agreement, flailing her little claws angrily and making both Luna and Scrivener wince. “There, look, it's starting.”
The two sulked a little, but looked up with interest as spotlights lit up the stage and a hum rose from the orchestra pit. And only a few moments later, there was a flourish of music, Doctrine smiling warmly as he gazed out over the youthful faces of the musicians before glancing up at the stage as the curtains drew back.
Bass strode quickly out in front of a backdrop of a pine forest that had been painted to look childishly endearing. The young unicorn looked a little pale as his eyes flicked back and forth over the audience, but everything else was in place: his costume tunic was pristine, his mane was curled and styled. And when the music changed, he took his cue flawlessly despite his apparent shock at just how many ponies were here to watch their little play production:
“Oh what a wonderful day today it is to be alive,
The sound of the birds singing makes my heart soar on high,
From the lazy snail to the busy bees in their hive,
Today marks the beginning of my journey towards the sky!”
He sang in a clear, strong voice, and Scrivener smiled a little at this as he sat back and Luna chuckled a little, letting herself relax. Usually the only play she watched was the annual skit on Nightmare Night, and on occasion the Hearth's Warming Eve play put together by the foals. She couldn't remember many times in the old days when they had stopped to watch theater productions, either... Celestia was always pushing them towards some goal or another, and watching a play was nothing more than a waste of their time.
She grinned wryly at this thought, as the play rolled onwards, but she didn't feel truly excited until the third scene, after the foolish protagonist Bright made fun of the old legend of the Black Lake with some younger foals. Bass cantered off-stage, by now well into his role, and the lights dimmed before the middle of the 'lake' formed by sheets and blue cloth humped upwards, and then were cast aside as spotlights flashed on, revealing Cheshire.
The Replicant posed in all his glory, dressed in shiny black costume armor, the staples in his features glinting and adding to the effect as the foals on stage all gasped. Twilight, Luna and Scrivener all leaned expectantly forwards as Innocence waved a claw insistently, saying happily: “Chesshure! Chesshure, mama, Chesshure!”
Twilight gently patted her daughter's head, and Innocence huffed as Cheshire strode regally out of the 'lake' to a swell of the ominous music... and then, in perfect time with the crash and fizzle-out of the orchestra, tripped and fell flat on his face.
The foals on stage looked back and forth, then laughed along with the audience as Cheshire slowly raised his head with a sour look, propping his chin up on one broken hoof as the foal actors chanted happily away:
“Dim Dunn, Dim Dunn, once blotted out the sun, said it was all his evil plan!
But five minutes later, the sun was back again, continuing along her span!
See, he tried to steal the moon away while it was still bright day,
And instead accidentally eclipsed the entire land!
Dim Dunn, Dim Dunn, once nearly conquered the world,
Had an evil plan that he painstakingly unfurled:
But he tripped and slipped and fell in the lake,
Oh boy didn't he make such a silly mistake!
Dim Dunn, Dim Dunn, spent a hundred years sleeping away,
At the bottom of the Black Lake he was forced to stay,
Trapped with the fishies by his own dark magic,
But now he's up and at 'em and awake!”
Luna and Scrivener both laughed as Twilight smiled and shook her head, and Innocence threw up her little claws and giggled brightly. For such young foals, they did an admirable job, and Cheshire wasn't twitching at all; was hitting every single cue, playing his role perfectly as the foals danced around and teased him.
Then he suddenly leapt up and picked one of the foals up, roaring in her face... only to be swatted on the nose and toss her back down with a yelp. The audience laughter as Cheshire grabbed his nose on stage, leaping backwards as the three foals all blew loud raspberries at him, then turned and sprinted offstage.
He huffed as he stood up, cracking his neck slowly and raising his head, striking a pose before raising one of his broken hooves as he took a long breath... and then suddenly began to sing, in a voice that echoed through the theater and never once stuttered despite the fast, staccato delivery:
“I am that which is fear and hate incarnate, reveling in carnage without constraint,
I am a brutal brazen bloody beast emboldened by all my past bold victories,
Results of strength and grace and wit and charm with which I brought countries to their knees!”
Cheshire cleared his throat loudly and slowly brushed at his armor before spotlights flashed on at either side of the stage, and ponies dressed as Nightmares and demons and other nasty creatures danced in through the spotlights as Cheshire strolled slowly towards the front of the stage, looking out over the audience as the ponies and foals dressed as all manner of monster cavorted behind him, as he continued in a confident voice:
“Diabolical demons and malicious marauding monsters all serve me willingly as cannon fodder,
For to die in service to my name, is an honor, not a shame, and the dream of every goblin son and daughter!”
Cheshire finished this line by grinning cockily and holding out one of his broken hooves palm up, and a tiny filly dressed as a demon hopped up into it, then went rigid when Cheshire leaned down and growled at her, a flower popping up in one hoof before she let herself fall backwards in a swoon to be caught by another demon and dragged hurriedly offstage.
“I am the absolute embodiment of evil ends and aims, the manifestation of maleficent means,
The acrimonious rankling resentment of petulant powers pushing poisonous plague!
I am the antagonizing anathema to all that claims to be generous, giving good and kind,
The veracified vexatious, stupendously stressful and straining, corrupt coercing king of knaves!”
The Replicant posed on stage after he finished belting this out, then looked back and forth, bowing slightly back and forth as the cadre of impish misfits all clapped for him. “Thank you, thank you.”
Then he cleared his throat again, before raising his forelegs to the air as he roared out:
“Now know not one pony shall escape the evils that I shall remake and rekindle as I take back my land!
And first to feel the full onslaught of Dim Dunn's ever-reaching claws shall be the foolish foalish Bright, who at my prison mocked... and laughed... and lied...”
Cheshire gritted his teeth, clenching his broken hooves into fists, such malice radiating from him that it was hard to believe it was all just an act a moment before the Replicant suddenly sat up, holding up a single broken hoof as he remarked pleasantly: “But first, a drink!”
And with that, Cheshire turned and pranced off stage, followed by the cadre of demons and monsters, to the applause and general merriment of the audience. And loudest among those cheering was Luna, grinning widely as her eyes shone with happiness at how well Cheshire was holding up, and the show the Replicant was putting on with the foals.
The play continued, and Luna and Scrivener both thought it was fantastic: the kids were good, and everyone knew their cues and picked up for each other when one of the younger actors occasionally fumbled during a dance number or a song, but Cheshire brought an incredible life and vitality to the play and seemed to infuse energy and excitement into the other actors with how perfectly he played his role.
The giant, once-thought-animal Replicant that had before only been capable of roaring and screaming broken fragments of text seemed even more natural an actor than any of the others. Maybe it was because of how he had always shielded himself with pieces of poetry and prose, maybe it was because he simply, clearly knew what he was doing inside and out... but the only way he seemed different than any of the other actors on stage was in how powerfully he drew the eye. And yet he didn't hog the attention: during his duet with Bass, he somehow seemed to elevate the singing of the lead actor, helping him fall further into the role of Bright and pull off that much stronger a performance.
During intermission, ponies rushed to get snacks and do anything else they had to do before hurrying back to their seats, eager for the second half of the play to begin... and they were far from disappointed. The final duet between Cheshire and Bass seemed almost real, brought their characters of arrogant Dim Dunn and Bright Blaze to life as they clashed and moved in perfect time and rhythm, until Bright conquered Dim with his own reflecting mirror and sent him toppling back into the Black Lake. And for a moment, it wasn't spotlights flashing on, but the sun blasting up out of what weren't sheets and a hidden trapdoor, a gaping vortex of water, as Dim Dunn howled all the way to the bottom of the lake.
Bass breathed hard, standing stunned with his back to the audience, forgetting everything as Doctrine made the orchestra hold the note until the young actor finally looked up and over his shoulder with a stupid grin he didn't have to fake, saying in an incredulous voice: “I did it.”
And with that, the music flared, trilling beautifully into a crescendo before there were several sharp, loud trumpets, and then the curtains swung closed and the music dropped off into silence. Silence that lasted only moments before the entire audience was on its hooves, stomping, yelling and clapping, cheering loudly before the orchestra started into its final number, in a gentle, unhurried melody as Doctrine wheezed and relaxed, only half-conducting as he grinned happily over his shoulder out at the audience as the curtains opened and the cast began to run over the stage.
Cheshire followed Bass out with a big grin on his face, the Replicant bowing alongside the younger actor several times before the giant suddenly reached out and swept Bass up, and the unicorn laughed as he was flung upwards to land easily on Cheshire's back, posing for a moment with him before the Replicant hopped backwards and easily caught Bright when he leapt forwards, setting him back on his hooves. Then they both quickly bowed again to the audience, and ran quickly off stage.
It was wonderful. Luna was roaring and shouting her approval as Scrivener laughed and clapped, and Innocence... Twilight blinked, then looked down in horror to see that Innocence had vanished, and the Lich wildly looked back and forth. But a moment later, she sighed in relief as she looked over her shoulder and saw the toddler was safe in Apple Bloom's forelimbs, giggling and flailing her limbs, but the earth pony had a hoof carefully gripping Innocence's horn so she didn't blink, smiling reassuringly over at the Lich as Scarlet Sage cheered and applauded beside her with overbright eyes.
Much of the audience stayed afterwards: some to pick up their kids, some just to congratulate the actors, and Scrivener, Luna and Twilight all made their way to the stage with Antares, the sapphire mare leading the way in storming it despite the fact that Cal attempted to hurry awkwardly over and stop them, but with all the use of a butterfly floating into the way of a dragon, Luna almost trampling him as Twilight apologized awkwardly and Scrivener only shrugged amiably.
The sapphire mare led them around the curtain as Antares opened his mouth to scold his mother, even fully knowing it was pointless... but then he halted dumbly, staring with the others as they stepped backstage and found Underbrush calmly studying Cheshire, as the Replicant shifted uneasily back and forth beside Doctrine.
The Pegasus was talking rapidly away, smiling warmly to Underbrush before he blinked in surprise at the others, but then laughed and welcomed them. Cheshire looked up and seemed to brighten at the sight of the familiar ponies, turning his head towards them and rubbing at his armor... but now, out of his role, he once more seemed like the rawer creature he had been before. Well, no, not entirely... there was something else there now, and he seemed nervous but wasn't growling or twitching, he seemed more focused and attuned with the world.
But to draw from his ability to play a role so perfectly that Cheshire was anywhere near fixed was a mistake, although also an understandable one. Cheshire could recite any number of poems, essays, what seemed like entire books without a flinch, could act out whatever he was told... but left to function on his own, even to try and cooperate with others, was very difficult for him.
This was helping, though: they all saw that. Cheshire could share a little more, and interacted with these ponies, and in turn the actors had stopped being afraid of him. Even the foals weren't scared of this intimidating goliath any longer, who never really spoke his own words or replied to their conversations, but still clearly was trying his hardest to listen to them and to Doctrine.
The last thing they had expected to see was Underbrush back here, though, and Doctrine glanced awkwardly over at the publisher – or just rich, horribly-influential mogul... that's a bit more descriptive, publishers alone aren't usually that wealthy... – before he cleared his throat and said finally: “Mr. Underbrush was just interested in... taking a look at your friend here, Scrivener Blooms. And again... thank you all so much, for letting him join us. And for being here, tonight, too... it means a lot to the whole cast to see you in the audience. We expect the next nights won't be nearly as packed but... all things considered, that's probably a good thing. Some of the younger actors were a little intimidated by how many important ponies were here.”
“I hope we're not interrupting!” singsonged a cheerful voice, and Burning Desire pranced up behind them, Ersatz Major at his side. The mare glanced calmly up as she approached, then her eyes widened slightly in surprise at the sight of Underbrush, who scowled at the unicorns automatically... then did a double take, staggering stupidly backwards as his mouth fell a little agape as he stared at Ersatz.
Burning blinked, then looked dumbly back and forth between the two before wincing and grabbing at his features, looking horrified as Scrivener winced, Luna glowered, and Twilight groaned. Antares, meanwhile, felt an almost physical pain for a moment at the domino effect of emotions that ran through the room before Underbrush whispered: “Ersatz?”
“I... hello, Xeric.” Ersatz said after a moment, and she smiled faintly, tilting her head back as she murmured quietly: “You're looking very well. Healthier than I last remember... I'm glad to see that you've been taking a little better care of yourself.”
“You... but... how? You died. I was at your funeral.” Underbrush said incredulously, his eyes wide, his sallow features exaggerating the rare show of emotions all the more. “I... I saw... you...”
“Oh, it's very simple, really...” Ersatz smiled a little after a moment, flicking her head to toss her mane, golden horn glinting and drawing the publisher's attention to this. “I made a deal with one of the many demons beneath Canterlot. My whole... shaming of Scrivener... it wasn't to target you or him, darling, it was because I knew he'd want to get in contact with me. And one day, after we had built up our strange rapport, I was led right down into Subterra... where I quickly found myself precisely what I was looking for. A demon I could use to get my horn back.”
There was stunned silence at this, and Scrivener and Luna both simply stared at Ersatz, barely able to believe what they were hearing. She spoke so naturally and fluently even though she was just making things up on the spot: it all sounded so real that even they wanted to believe she had treated and used them. And Underbrush was only mouthing wordlessly as Doctrine stared and Cheshire cocked his head curiously, before Ersatz smiled faintly and lowered her head. “But you see, I was very foolish. I am dead, Xeric, but it's... it's all my fault. I didn't die a hero like I... I don't know why Scrivener Blooms and Luna Brynhild were kind enough to say. I was killed by a demon, so he could dredge up my soul and begin turning me into... something else. Something you see now, standing here before you, old friend. And it's funny, because... I wish I could apologize to you, and I'm not even sure why or for what. But I feel like I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, Xeric.”
Underbrush reached up and rubbed slowly at his features with one hoof, a faint tremble running through him before he snarled... but the look on his face was more like desperation than anger, as he looked up and whispered: “You unicorns are just all the goddamn same, aren't you? Well, I'm glad you have your horn, Ersatz Major. And you, Scrivener Blooms... you knew about this?”
“Uh...” Scrivener blanked, mouth hanging open, not speaking before he looked dumbly over at Luna, who only looked almost desperately back before Twilight Sparkle stepped forwards.
The Lich hesitated for a few long moments, and then she said finally: “Underbrush, this... I don't know what's really going on here, but-”
“Twilight Sparkle, it's sweet of you to try and speak for me, but there's no need. I deserve Xeric's anger, even his hatred.” Ersatz turned her eyes back towards the earth pony in the expensive suit, bowing her head towards him and murmuring: “They knew. But I asked them not to tell. They were very good about that. You can't break your word, after all, can you?”
Underbrush looked across at Ersatz, then strode towards her and leaned up, glaring into her eyes and saying angrily: “I always did hate when you lied to me, Ersatz. I always hated that. I don't know what you're doing here and I don't know what's going on, but I know every word out of your goddamn mouth is twisted and untrue. You stupid cow, what have you gotten yourself into?”
“Hey!” Burning Desire stepped up beside her, glaring down at Underbrush even as Ersatz flushed and looked away, clearly surprised she'd been seen through. “Don't talk to her like that!”
“I'll talk to her however I want, proud-horn. Who the hell are you to step in and interfere? I gave up five years of my life with that miserable bitch, and I put up with her... her games, her superiority complex, her being a goddamn unicorn, and the only thing I ever asked of her was that she didn't lie to me and she lied to me every goddamn day anyway! Now you back up or I'm going to have you dragged by your pretty horn face-first through the sewers, got it?” Underbrush snarled, and then he turned his eyes back to Ersatz, snapping: “And you. I order you to tell me what the hell you're doing here, Ersatz, and then I'm going to have Rogues And Studs dismember you in civil court for-”
Burning Desire punched Underbrush in the face: well, really, it was more of a slap considering the demon, but all the same it was strong enough to knock Underbrush's head to the side as he blinked stupidly in surprise, his mouth snapping shut as Burning Desire's mane and tail both flared into life, and he half-stuttered: “I s-said... stop that!”
There was silence for a few moments, before Underbrush slowly turned his eyes towards the demon, and Scrivener grabbed at his own features as Luna leaned forwards eagerly and Twilight and Antares both simply gaped. Ersatz slowly winced away, and silence rang through the backstage area for a few moments before Doctrine began carefully: “Maybe we should all just step back and-”
Underbrush tackled Burning Desire onto his back, and the fiery stallion squealed as if he wasn't a First Tier demon before flailing wildly at the earth pony as they rolled together over the floor. Luna began to shout and cheer them on as Scrivener nearly fainted at the sight of his employer managing to seize Burning Desire from around the back of the neck, throttling him as Burning bucked back and forth, yelping loudly.
Ersatz winced, looking horrified as Doctrine shouted and Cheshire yelped and scrambled away in terror to hide behind a backdrop, attracting the attention of several actors and understudies. Cal stumbled in and tried to help, but only received a kick to the face in response that knocked him flat on his back before Antares leapt forwards. He smoothly ducked under Burning Desire's flailing, then leapt up and grabbed Underbrush, rolling them both off the demon's broad back even as Burning Desire wailed when Underbrush got in one last nasty attack in the form of a savage chomp on one of the demon's ears.
Antares pinned Underbrush as Burning Desire scurried backwards, grabbing at his bleeding ear and shouting: “I'll have you know that we Greed demons make great lawyers!”
“I own half of Canterlot, moron, you could sue me for millions and it wouldn't matter to me!” Underbrush snapped, and then he elbowed Antares in the kidney, making the young stallion flinch before the earth pony yanked himself free and up to his hooves, glaring balefully over at Burning Desire. “You stupid proud horn sot, filthy lowlife, damned... unicorn!”
“You're a... a jerk!” Burning Desire retorted lamely, still rubbing at his wounded ear before he huffed and drew his hoof away as it finally healed. “Ersatz, I think that we should take our leave from here. I don't wish to be chewed on again or to be forced to actually hurt this silly little... jerky... jerk.”
“Burning.” Ersatz sighed quietly, looking up at him almost pleadingly, and the Passion mumbled as Underbrush ground his teeth together. “Xeric... I'm sorry. Can you believe that, at least? Because for maybe the first time... I really do mean it.”
There was silence for a few moments... and then Underbrush sighed quietly and slumped a little, before he slowly turned his blistering gaze on Scrivener Blooms. The charcoal stallion gave a dumb smile, and Underbrush said moodily: “You and I are going to have a little talk later. And you, demon. I didn't catch your name.”
“Oh, what, you didn't see it in my brain after you chewed my ear off?” Burning Desire asked huffily, rubbing at his head again, and when Underbrush narrowed his eyes moodily and Ersatz nudged the fiery stallion's side, he lowered his head grumpily. “Oh, fine, fine. It's Burning Desire. Actually, my full title is My Marefriend Is Ersatz Major Burning Desire.”
“Cute. Here I thought you could afford a better stud than a clown, Ersatz.” Underbrush said moodily, and Burning looked stupefied at this response as Ersatz only blushed a little, before the earth pony smoothed out his rumpled, expensive suit, then stormed off, shoving his way through the other ponies as Luna glared after him half-angrily and half-admiringly.
“He is the angriest, bitterest little pony I ever did see.” Scrivener muttered once he was sure Underbrush could no longer hear him, and then he shook his head out before turning his eyes towards Burning Desire and Ersatz, and he asked plainly: “What the hell, guys? Just... what the hell?”
“I had to defend my fair maiden's honor!” Burning argued, and Ersatz blushed a little even as she reached up and gently touched Burning's shoulder. “Honestly, Scrivener Blooms, just what would you have done in the same situation?”
“Stayed peacefully back and let Luna kick the ass of whoever was getting in her face.” Scrivener said blandly, and Luna nodded rapidly in agreement at this with a grin before Scrivener paused and glanced meditatively over at Twilight, who smiled a little after a moment. “You I might actually 'defend the honor of,' but I'm very well aware that if you want to, you can also just blow up pretty much anything that pisses you off, too.”
Twilight gave the stallion an amused look at this, and then Scrivener turned his eyes towards Ersatz Major, striding towards her and asking in a lower voice: “But what the hell, Ersatz? Why didn't you just tell the truth?”
“I... I don't know. Old instincts, maybe... I was startled, and Xeric makes me feel guilty and nervous.” Ersatz murmured, then she shook her head and corrected: “Underbrush, I mean... I don't know why I used his first name. He hates that, too. He says it's a reminder of the old days...”
“Xeric Underbrush. Great. Now he's even scarier to me.” Scrivener muttered to himself, and then he shook his head and asked awkwardly: “You're... okay though, right? And you're not... well...”
“No, Scrivener, I am. I am.” Ersatz smiled at him awkwardly, studying the stallion as he shifted uneasily, and then closing her eyes as Burning Desire gently set a hoof on her shoulder. “It's strange. Your emotions are so vibrant around me... you worry for me, and I don't entirely understand why still, after all I did to you.”
“It is because Scrivener cares greatly about his family...” Luna said softly, stepping up beside the charcoal stallion and smiling a little over at him, before her eyes slid towards Ersatz. “'Tis not just because he lost family, Ersatz Major. 'Tis because of how he grew up, mistreated by those who were supposed to care for him most. Now that he has these things, well... Scrivener is not one to let such things slip away. Even... creatures like thee.”
Ersatz Major laughed quietly, then she opened her eyes, letting them rove slowly past Doctrine and Cal to where Antares and Twilight were trying to coax Cheshire out of hiding behind some stage equipment. “No. It's not just that. It's empathy, both natural and learned... it's how you can feel so much for others, even those who are supposed to be 'enemy...' both of you. I see it in you, too, Luna. It's admirable, and yet... how can you care so much about those who would hurt you?”
“Because sometimes faith deserves to be rewarded.” Scrivener said before he could stop himself, not even fully knowing why, and then he reached up and touched his own face thoughtfully as Luna cocked her head curiously... but then nodded slowly, smiling wider as the stallion continued: “Because you can't shut down or stop offering your help just because people keep biting your hoof. Sure, Luna and I might get hurt from time-to-time offering our help and trust out there... but we're strong. We can take the pain. And I'd rather be betrayed a hundred times over than mow down one innocent person because I'm too scared to take a chance. Maybe it's not smart, but... emotions aren't really about being smart or not.”
“And sometimes one life makes all the difference.” Luna said softly, smiling despite herself as Cheshire nervously poked his head out, then grumbled a little as he awkwardly came out of hiding. He looked tensely back and forth, but relaxed once he realized Underbrush was gone, and seemed to loosen up further as Twilight started to talk to him as she gently removed his armor, praising him for how well he'd done.
Ersatz nodded thoughtfully, and then Burning Desire cleared his throat when Doctrine approached, the demon and by now, more-than-half-demon both looking awkwardly towards the Pegasus as he studied them moodily. For a few moments there was only silence, and then Doctrine finally asked dryly: “This isn't going to end up in another article, is it?”
“No, not at all. Those days are long over. Besides, I did die...” Ersatz smiled a little, touching her own chest quietly. “Generally that severs one's contract with most employers. Besides, your play was wonderful, and we're... we're friends now.”
Scrivener smiled a little and nodded, and Doctrine sighed quietly before Ersatz added with a smile: “But I have an idea to make tomorrow's performance even better. Maybe we could discuss it in a more appropriate setting such as your office, Mr. Doctrine?”
The Pegasus glanced over at Cal, and when Cal shrugged lamely, Doctrine sighed again and nodded. “Fine. Go and take care of the last of the kids, give Bass his roses. Ersatz, uh... Mr. Desire, please, right this way. Scrivener, Luna, thank you both for coming again, and just leave Cheshire's costume anywhere you like, Cal'll get it. We'll see you tomorrow.”
The two ponies nodded, and Scrivener watched meditatively as the three ponies left. Then they glanced at each other, sharing thought and emotion for a few moments before both were brought out of their reverie by Twilight Sparkle approaching and giving them a gentle mental nudge.
They smiled at her: it was becoming more and more natural for her to join their link or send them little mental messages, or just listen in on their thoughts and emotions, and they both welcomed it. The mental link between the three of them was growing stronger... they both just hoped that it would lead to good things, and not endanger Twilight any more than it already had at times.
Antares was walking beside Cheshire, who was following behind the Lich. The Replicant looked up at Scrivener and Luna and seemed to smile in his own way, and Luna said warmly: “Look at thee! Thou put on a most fantastic performance, Cheshire... did thou enjoy it? Of course thou did, it gleams in thy eyes, and tomorrow and the next day thou shall once more rule the stage!”
“You did a great job, Chess. Come on, let's get you home.” Scrivener said softly, and Cheshire nodded a few times and seemed to try to smile again.
Scrivener and Luna began to turn, and then Cheshire twitched a bit and stomped one of his broken claws, drawing frowns from the ponies in front of him. All four looked uncertainly at the Replicant: over the last few months, he hadn't actually hurt anyone, but every now and then had what seemed to amount to a panic attack that made him rant and bark and generally scared the hell out of anyone who didn't understand he wasn't going into a rampage, he was just scared out of his mind about something or other.
Luna tensed up a little, ready to blast Cheshire with her magic: a sharp shock to his system usually made him freeze up, and then the sapphire mare would usually grab him around the neck and hold him against the ground. A firm tactic, but it seemed to work surprisingly well with calming him down. But a moment later, Cheshire's mouth worked, his features furrowing before he looked up and said in a slow, uneven voice: “T-Thank you.”
The four stared, and Cheshire did his best to smile again, sitting back a little and nodding clearly to them... and Luna smiled radiantly after a moment, feeling almost like it was her child's first words as Scrivener only gaped. Twilight looked with amazement at Cheshire as Antares studied the Replicant dumbly, seeing into this huge, once-animal creature before he mumbled: “That... that was... his own words. Not a quote or anything. He... he really means it.”
“Then thou art welcome, Cheshire, but there is no need to thank us. But it brings me great happiness to see...” Luna cleared her throat, looking down before punching Scrivener Blooms in the shoulder, making him wince. “Oh, I do not have the words. Thou must speak instead.”
“We're glad to see you making progress. Keep it up, Cheshire, keep pushing forwards, and one day...” Scrivener halted, thought for a moment, then smiled a bit as he recited: “Wood shall become flesh and the puppet will rise a child, life once stolen born anew again.”
Cheshire brightened at this, finishing immediately: “Stained not with paint but memories past, dreams once sundered renewed within the colt's frame.”
“That's you, Chess.” Scrivener said softly, and Cheshire nodded firmly a few times, his eyes gleaming with the happiness he was learning to express as bit-by-bit, the pony inside the scarred and tattered Replicant's slowly swam out of the darkness of Cheshire's subconscious and back towards the surface of his being. Luna, Twilight and Scrivener could see flashes of that pony all the clearer now in Cheshire's eyes... and they renewed their promise to help that lost pony find his way out of the sea of pain and solitude he had been drowning in for countless years.
Scrivener, Luna, and Twilight attended both additional showings of the play, bringing Innocence with them. Antares and Meadowlark were there for the second evening, and Ersatz and Burning Desire attended the second and third nights, bringing Apps along for the last show.
The theater was less packed on the second night, but they got a special treat: this time, during Dim Dunn's cocky introduction, the foals dressed as monsters that danced on stage were joined by real demons and Nightmares that Burning Desire and Ersatz Major had persuaded to help out. Luna got a massive leap of glee from this... and the Nightmares particularly seemed to revel in the attention from all these ponies, exaggerating the simple special effects with their powers.
It probably helped a lot in making the final showing packed as full as the first night. Luna noted that even Discord had been attracted by the play, the Draconequus sitting up on a balcony and peering curiously down at the spectacle, clearly fighting the temptation to start stirring up mischief. But what probably helped keep him in line was the fact that Selene was sitting on top of another balcony, apparently curious about studying the Replicant's 'strange behavior,' as she termed it.
The final showing was spectacular, though: everyone put their heart and soul into the performance, and it came out stunningly-well. It wasn't simply a comic play about an old foal's story: it was Bright Blaze's fight to save the world from inept, arrogant, but pernicious and determined Dim Dunn, and his attempt to seal the sun away inside Black Lake so he could burn up his enemies with his reflecting mirror, and sell sunlight to ponies at any price he wanted.
It came out flawlessly, fantastically... and an hour after the last show, when they brought Cheshire back to CIMH and his private little cell, they found flower arrangements and gifts and thank you notes arranged neatly all around the walls for the Replicant. Cheshire had clearly understood what they were and been touched... enough that he suddenly seized Twilight, Luna and Scrivener all in one tight hug, squishing the air out of the three ponies.
But it was the best sign they could have hoped for. Dr. Socrates was thrilled, and talked about moving Cheshire out of isolation, or at least starting him in one of the quieter group therapy sessions. He was making tremendous progress considering the life he had likely lived. But the psychiatrist knew they had to be careful, too: if they rushed the process too much, it could undo all the work they had done. Cheshire needed to learn to trust the world at his own rate, and to find himself at the same pace.
For now, they would keep up the regular visits, keep reading to Cheshire, and try and find him a place where he could interact safely with others. Doctrine definitely wanted him to work with the Fairweather Players whenever it was possible, though, and he said that the juniors were starting to put their own play together... the Pegasus thought that even if Cheshire didn't have an acting role, he might enjoy running lines and just helping out.
But Cheshire did get one unexpected treat: a few days later, as the behemoth was calmly reading a book – once more dressed in his safety jacket, but Dr. Socrates no longer had any trouble getting Cheshire in and out of it as necessary – he glanced up with a blink as there was a knock at the plate glass cell door to see Dr. Socrates standing there.
The psychiatrist smiled in at him, and Cheshire carefully pushed himself up to his mitten-covered broken hooves, cocking his head curiously. The Replicant had a strange sense of time: for him, things were either 'in the future' or 'in the past,' and he associated as such. He understood patterns, so he tended to know when his usual visits were going to occur, and grew agitated when they were delayed, but he also had a vague idea that when someone said they were going to 'show up tomorrow' or 'we'll meet in a few days,' it meant that ponies were going to visit him again at some point in the near future. He just didn't understand the when.
But he smiled all the same when Dr. Socrates opened the door: he liked visits, and he liked the nice pony that had a gentle voice. He had learned to ignore loud sounds and angry sounds, and they didn't bother him as much as they used to, but it was the nice sounds he really liked. And laughter. Laughter was a loud sound, but somehow it was a nice sound: it set off some vague images in his mind, made him feel tingly.
Cheshire smiled even more when he saw Luna Brynhild and Scrivener Blooms. He had been told they were bad ponies at first, and they had acted like bad ponies, and they had hurt Cheshire, but now they didn't anymore. Slowly, Cheshire was piecing together in his mind precisely why that was, but making logical connections was intensely difficult for him. But he understood what a 'lie' was, and his mind had made a start at figuring things out when it had realized Thesis had lied.
He cocked his head curiously when they didn't enter his cell, before Dr. Socrates said gently: “Cheshire, Luna and Scrivener would like you to come with them today. It's going to be a long travel, and it's going to be a little loud where you're going, but I think you'll enjoy yourself. And if things get too hard, they've already promised to bring you back home. How does that sound?”
Cheshire cocked his head curiously, and Luna nodded before gesturing eagerly at Cheshire. “But come, come! Let us get going before the festivities commence! We have a glorious day planned and I am sure thou shall enjoy it, Cheshire.”
The Replicant only rumbled uncertainly, before wincing when Luna huffed, strode into his cell, and then firmly began to bull him towards the door, the Replicant wincing before he babbled out: “Such is the life that lives and longs, beyond compare, beyond recompense...”
“Luna, look, you're scaring the poor guy.” Scrivener said mildly as Luna shoved Cheshire out into the hall, and then the sapphire mare huffed and glowered over at the stallion before reaching up and slapping his nose lightly, making him grimace and blink several times.
“Shut up, Scrivy. Now, Cheshire, 'tis time to go.” Luna said comfortably, nodding firmly once, and the stallion sighed a little as Cheshire grumbled uncertainly, but then hesitantly nodded, earning a slight grin from Luna. “Excellent. Thou knows who to listen to and respect. Then let us go.”
“Please try and be back by early evening, I have Cheshire scheduled for a bath tonight.” Dr. Socrates said calmly, and then he rose a hoof to Cheshire with a smile as the Replicant was half-shoved down the halls, adding: “Have a good time, Riordan. Just enjoy yourself and remember the exercises we've gone over.”
“Exercises. I do not like when brainy-ponies refer to their mental trickery as exercises. Real exercises involve weights and running and punching.” Luna grumbled, and Scrivener sighed a little as Cheshire only looked dubiously back and forth. “Is that not correct, Cheshire? Exercises are not... paper-writing and... making thy brain full of fluff!”
Cheshire winced a bit at this, then recited suddenly: “Exercise. Noun. Bodily or mental exertion, especially for the sake of training or improvement of health; something done or performed as a means of practice or training; a putting into action, use operation, or effect; a written composition, musical piece, or artistic work executed for practice or to illustrate a particular aspect of technique; often, exercises: a traditional-”
“Oh shut up!” Luna groaned after realizing what Cheshire was doing, and Scrivener cleared his throat loudly several times as he looked away, but failed to hide his wide, amused grin. “And thou can shut up thy fat face too, Scrivener Blooms!”
She stepped past the Replicant to bop the stallion firmly with her horn, making him wince, and Cheshire looked hesitantly at the two ponies. Part of him tensed up, but the rest of him only relaxed, recognized after several months of this that... it wasn't like when Thesis had hit him, or the scary metal ponies had hurt him in the time long before the Great Loneliness when Cheshire had been locked away in a little cell for years and years and years.
It just... was. They expressed things through their gestures and their movements and so much more than words. They touched constantly, and touched others constantly, even if it was often in the form of a poke or slap. It was something far beyond Cheshire's full understanding right now, but he wasn't beyond seeing that it was completely different from hurt-touching.
As always, Cheshire tensed up more when they went into Canterlot's streets, but Luna and Scrivener had found that as long as they kept moving, Cheshire would stay relatively calm and only flicker and mumble a little, as long as no one stopped them or yelled at them.
But when they exited Canterlot's gates – the guards on duty doing nothing but gaping at the behemoth pony following Luna and Scrivener – Cheshire became fascinated. He looked back and forth through the mountains as they made their way down the pass, and when they passed into gorgeous countryside, he seemed to smile around at everything, bouncing a bit now and then when butterflies flitted by or other distractions passed.
They walked down the highway in peace beneath warm summer skies, Luna relaxing as her crystalline horn heated up a little, glinting brightly. Every now and then she mischievously tilted it back and forth so the sun flashed off it into Scrivener's eyes, making the stallion grumble but Cheshire only cock his head curiously, blinking a little at the shimmers of sharp light that passed over his eyes.
They were heading towards Ponyville, but Cheshire didn't seem to recognize that: maybe it was because it had been almost half a year ago, during the clinging, frosty end of winter, or maybe it was because of how different the world around him looked. Either way, though, Luna was actually glad for that: the last thing they needed was Cheshire remembering what he'd done to Twilight Sparkle and Innocence, for both their sakes and his own.
Cheshire seemed to take a particular thrill out of the farmhouses when they began to pass them, Scrivener Blooms smiling a little at the way the Replicant tilted a little towards the side of the road and studied the farms with clear fascination. Until, that was, they reached the gates of Ponyville, and here he looked up with a blink to stare back and forth nervously... but the energy, the atmosphere, the sounds and everything else were so different from Canterlot that Cheshire didn't take too much prompting to get him to go through the gates.
They were only passing through the village, anyway, but Luna and Scrivener were both curious to how he'd react. He looked around at all the unfamiliarity curiously but nervously, and shrank a little away from ponies and Nibelung they passed on the street. Once he recognized that they weren't even receiving too many stares, though, he started to relax a little, and he seemed to understand where they were after his eyes caught on the library, automatically turning towards this.
Luna stopped him gently with one hoof, though, smiling slightly as she let it rest on the Replicant's brawny foreleg, and he looked curiously down at her. “Nay, not there. Come, Cheshire, onwards, there is another place we have to show thee.”
Cheshire nodded a little, and continued to follow them through Ponyville, gazing around with less worry and more interest now. They left out the gates and headed towards the Everfree Forest, and the moment they stepped onto the wide dirt trail, Cheshire's eyes widened as he stared in awe back and forth, like it had been countless years since he'd been in a place like this.
And who knew? Maybe it had, considering the kind of world it sounded like Thesis likely used as his base of operations from the facilities he had built. But that marvel at nature around them made both Luna and Scrivener trust and empathize all the more with the Replicant... although Luna still laughed when a Phooka stuck its head suddenly out of the side of the trail and Cheshire went scrambling up a tree with a yelp as he turned invisible.
After they coaxed the giant down from the tree, they continued on without any further surprises or interruptions, until they reached the front yard of their home. And Cheshire perked up here at the noises: although it was loud and there were many ponies, most of them were ponies he recognized, and the sound he heard was that sound he liked most: laughter.
Tables were set out, and Innocence was smiling brightly, looking happily around at all the ponies around her. Pinkamena and Pinkie Pie were currently tacking up a big banner over the house, and decorations were strewn throughout the yard, so many balloons tied to the tables and chairs that it seemed like they were threatening to lift the entire party away.
There were a whole pile of presents on one table, and a buffet of food already sitting out that Applejack and Scarlet Sage were tending to, although Apple Bloom was awkwardly trying to get Scarlet Sage to rest and slow down. And after a few moments of racking his brain, Cheshire understood what was going on, as he said slowly: “Birthday party.”
“Yes, precisely!” Luna looked thrilled at this, brightening immediately as she gazed happily across at where Twilight was sitting with Innocence in her forelegs, the foal smiling brightly around at the ponies clustered in around here. “'Tis a birthday party! And 'twill be a fantastic one, Cheshire, even if... well... our poor Innocence lacks any playmates.”
Luna quieted a little at this as Scrivener reached up and squeezed the sapphire mare's shoulder gently, but then she shook her head violently when Cheshire cocked his head curiously, almost sympathetically. “Nay, nay, spare me thy pity, great cur. Instead, go and give thy congratulations to Twilight Sparkle and Innocence. I suppose this party is really more for mother than 'tis for daughter, after all, so 'tis all well and fine. We shall just have to ensure that this year, our little girl gets to find friends in Ponyville.”
She nodded firmly once as Scrivener smiled a little, and Cheshire nodded back after a moment before turning and plodding over towards Twilight Sparkle. The Lich glanced up as he approached, as did Spike and Rarity, but Rainbow Dash seemed a little too absorbed in whatever story he was telling until the shadow of the colossus fell over him, and the Pegasus stallion blinked before slowly turning to stare over his shoulder.
Cheshire looked down at him, and Rainbow wheezed after a moment, giving a lame grin as he reached up and awkwardly patted the giant on the shoulder. “You uh. Scared me there for a second. Nice to see you... Chess, right? I'm Rainbow Dash.”
Cheshire nodded to him, studying the Pegasus and leaning down, making the blue stallion lean awkwardly back before the Replicant turned his eyes towards Twilight Sparkle. Twilight gazed at him almost nervously as Innocence burbled happily in her forelegs, and then the Replicant managed to mumble out: “Congratulations.”
Twilight brightened visibly at this, and Innocence looked up happily as if she seemed to recognize it as well, then she held her little claws up towards Cheshire, babbling almost demandingly at him: “Chesshure! Chesshure!”
The giant blinked and reared his head back awkwardly, then he hesitantly leaned forwards and down, and Innocence smiled as she was able to pet and rub through his rough, ruffled mane, gazing at him warmly. “Chesshure. Good pony.”
“Good pony.” Cheshire murmured, and he looked up and then nodded firmly before leaning forwards and nuzzling the foal, and Innocence giggled and laughed, hugging his muzzle as Cheshire smiled brightly at the young girl.
Twilight hesitated, but then she softened and finally smiled, gently setting Innocence down and murmuring: “Okay, Innocence. Why don't you go play with Cheshire, huh?”
Cheshire looked up at this, but Innocence giggled and nodded, bouncing a little on the spot before running into Cheshire's leg and clinging to it for a moment. Cheshire leaned back in surprise, but then when Innocence bounced away, he hesitantly began to follow her... then she blinked suddenly a short distance in another direction and Cheshire reared back in surprise before pouncing towards her on instinct, only for the filly to vanish again with a squealing giggle and Cheshire to land on his face in the grasses and skid several feet.
But he was up on his hooves in an instant, looking around for her before bounding after her, old memories rising to the surface as he played with this child. Innocence laughed and cavorted with him, and Twilight smiled silently as she touched her breast with a hoof and watched them silently. A few months ago, and she would have been attacking Cheshire for even looking at her child wrong... now, she could sit here and feel comfortable, knowing that the Replicant wasn't going to hurt her baby.
Abaddon and Ratatoskr both scrambled to join in the game as Celestia approached with Discombobulation riding sidesaddle on her back, his legs crossed like everything was perfectly normal, sipping daintily at a cup of punch and with a napkin full of little treats in his lap. “It's funny, Twilight. I don't know if I would have been so trusting myself.”
“Yes, Tia, but you've never exactly been Miss Trustbuckets. Unless that bucket had a hole in the bottom. A big rusty hole. Put another crab in the bucket.” Discombobulation paused, then leaned over to hold his cup out to her, and Celestia smiled despite herself over her shoulder, taking a drink from it gratefully before he drew it away and swirled the contents thoughtfully. “I wonder what songs are in Equestria's top one hundred. You know, I've never really bothered to check.”
“Oh look at this, Scrivener Blooms. This disgusting display of fetishism.” Luna declared loudly as she strode over to join them with the stallion in tow, and Scrivener rolled his eyes in a mix of amusement and exasperation as Celestia only favored her younger sibling with a mild look. The sapphire mare huffed at this lack of reaction, then turned and shouted to Sleipnir, who was acting as a stepping-stool for Pinkamena while she finished tacking up the banner. “Sleipnir! Does thou not see this? Bob and Celestia are practicing their sick and twisted bondage antics!”
Sleipnir looked over his shoulder curiously, ignoring a shout and stomp on his back from Pinkamena, and then he called cheerfully back: “No, no, I think thou art rather mistaken, sister. For all I see is a maiden seated most politely upon her mare, 'tis all. She must be of noble esteem to ride so proper amidst us common folk, aye?”
Luna laughed at this, then she grinned up at Discombobulation as the Draconequus looked sourly down at her while sipping from his teacup. “Shall I sketch thee a curtsey then, milady? Or would thou prefer for me to instead kiss thy dainty hand?”
“You know how when bad things happen to bad people, some people laugh? Well. I'm about to laugh at you.” Discombobulation said mildly, and then he let go of his teacup, leaving it floating in midair before snapping his fingers, and Luna had a moment to open her mouth before several grapefruits flew down from the sky and impaled themselves over her horn in a kabob of fruits.
Pink juice squirted in all directions, and Luna yelped before howling and charging blindly off in the direction of the house, almost trampling several guests under her hooves as Scrivener winced and grabbed at his eyes, blinking rapidly at the pain that went through them before he stumbled stupidly backwards when Luna plowed right into the door.
She managed to shake the fruits off her horn before snapping her horn to the side, yanking the door open and hurrying blindly into the house as Celestia looked mildly over her shoulder at Bob, asking: “Don't you think that was perhaps just a little much?”
“Not at all, Tia. I was definitely doing it for your sake, too, after all.” Discombobulation replied calmly, nodding courteously before he shrugged when Scrivener glared up at him and Twilight favored the Draconequus with her own sour look, although she was only rubbing absently at one eye. “Oh, don't give me that look, either of you. Besides, Scrivener Blooms will be fine. We all know by now she has a very thick skull.”
Celestia rolled her eyes, but smiled a little despite herself before she asked: “Then what are you going to do about Sleipnir, Discombobulation, since he started the whole thing?”
“Oh, nothing. He's already married to Pinkamena, there's not much more I can do than that. Furthermore, nothing's more frustrating than when you try and prank someone and they just laugh it off. That's why Scrivener Blooms and Luna are so much fun, you see, they get so frustrated over it.” Discombobulation replied easily, and then he paused and slowly swirled his cup before making an absent flicking gesture, and the teacup became a large, steel stein. “Oh, that was a bad roll. Here, you can have this, it's not really my cup of tea. Pun intended.”
He leaned over and offered the metal cup to her, and Celestia's horn glowed as she took it before tilting it back and drinking down its contents. And then Spike, Rarity, and the other ponies gathered stared as the stein continued to tilt slowly upwards as she drained it in a matter of moments, and Discombobulation stared as the mare politely passed it back to him. “Thank you.”
“I used to do that. I bet I still could.” came a thoughtful voice, and Rainbow grinned and shook his head before he looked in amusement over at Cowlick, who was striding towards them with Ross at her side, the engineering smiling slightly as she glanced up at the Baroness. “You know, every time I'm about to forget you ain't some hoity-toity princess no more, you go and do something that reminds me of that. Next you'll be taking on your idiot little brother in a belching contest.”
“Nay, that I was always the superior in.” Sleipnir cut in cheerfully as he approached, nodding firmly a few times. Pinkamena was now sitting astride him instead of standing on him, and Discombobulation glared at her as she grinned widely back, before Sleipnir said cheerfully: “I was also always better at races. And I am quite sure that I am a more pleasant ride than Celestia.”
Sleipnir paused, then turned his head to giggle childishly even as Pinkamena rolled her eyes and kicked his sides lightly. Then both ponies looked up as the ivory mare asked courteously: “Then in that case, Sleipnir, maybe you'd like to put your hooves where your mouth is? Well, I know that's where they usually are, but in this case I'm challenging you to a race.”
The stallion grinned widely at this, stomping one hoof firmly several times as he looked up at Pinkamena, who nodded firmly. Discombobulation, meanwhile, held up a finger and said awkwardly: “I'm more of a horse owner, and occasionally, a horse lover... oh, why did I say that?” He cleared his throat loudly as Celestia smiled slightly and Sleipnir and Rainbow Dash both giggle, while Spike coughed when Rarity looked at him with amusement. “Okay, what I mean to say is that Ratatoskr is the jockey. I'm simply the one with all the money.”
“You were all about defending my honor before, Discombobulation. Just think of this as an extension of that.” Celestia replied, before she smiled again and asked: “You wouldn't leave this poor mare without a rider, would you?”
Sleipnir giggled again as Pinkamena snorted in amusement, reaching out to firmly grasp into Sleipnir's thick vine locks. “I'll say one thing, Princess Sunshine. This brother of yours might be a moron, but he's stupidly-fearless. Nothing like your shivering excuse for a male.”
Celestia slowly looked over at Pinkamena, her eyes narrowing slightly, and Sleipnir grinned widely at this as his own irises glittered with mischief, while Scrivener and Twilight traded awkward looks and slowly backed away. Cowlick, meanwhile, leaned eagerly forwards, apparently recognizing that look all too well. “Do not speak so harshly, sweet phoenix! Why, look at poor Bob, he has already suffered much, and proven his bravery in many things. 'Tis perfectly natural that when he is faced with definite defeat, he cannot rise to the occasion, as 'tis perfectly natural for the noble and well-privileged to lay claims they cannot hold up.”
Discombobulation opened his mouth, and then Celestia leaned forwards, amethyst eyes locking with Sleipnir's as she said calmly but firmly: “Through the forest, towards Ponyville, then turn around just in front of the gates and race back. The losers have to compose and recite a poem of praise about the winners as a public spectacle. Fair terms?”
Pinkamena frowned slightly, but Sleipnir giggled gleefully and nodded violently. “Oh most definitely, excellent, 'tis excellent! Let us be off, then!”
“Oh Tia, I'm terrified of what you've gotten us into. I hope you realize that the reason I was always defending your honor was because I have no honor, so there's certainly no reason for you to rise to the occasion to defend me from their mockery. You can't exactly mock what isn't there.” Discombobulation said moodily, and then he winced when Luna came charging out of the front door, a wide grin on her face. “Oh look, here comes Diablo. Soulstone sticking right out of her forehead and all. Good thing we've got plenty of ponies here who could take that to the Hellforge and smash it.”
“Shut up, Bob.” Luna said automatically as she skidded to a halt, and then the mare cleared her throat before stomping and declaring: “As this is a battle between mine beloved siblings, I shan't interfere or even beg to partake in it, for all that I do desire to. Except Scrivener Blooms is fat and thus I would surely lose, and as this is clearly a race between stallions with mares riding, 'twould not be far to make him do the running.”
Scrivener only shrugged agreeably, deciding it was better to choose his battles instead of saying something that might convince Luna they should race as well. The sapphire mare nodded firmly at this, then strode quickly to the foot of the path, and Discombobulation winced and hurriedly started shoving the food items from his lap into his mouth as Pinkamena set herself, licking her lips eagerly as Celestia and Sleipnir followed their middle sibling. “This shall serve as the start. And when thou returns, the first to step from dirt to grass shall be deemed the winner in the eyes of all present. Is this fair?”
Both ponies nodded firmly, and Pinkamena grinned widely as Discombobulation gave a muffled whimper about his mouthful of food. He pointed wildly at this, and Luna only grinned before she turned around and rose a hoof high, declaring: “Ready thyselves...”
Celestia and Sleipnir both dropped into ready positions, and Discombobulation choked on the food in his mouth before swallowing thickly and painfully, eyes bulging as he hammered at his chest. “Steady on... and go!”
Sleipnir and Celestia both lunged forwards, and Discombobulation yelped as he was thrown off Celestia's back, crashing down on his own stupidly as Pinkamena laughed loudly, the sound quickly vanishing down the trail with the thunder of Sleipnir's hooves. Celestia cursed as she skidded around in a circle, snapping her horn to levitate Discombobulation as he flailed wildly before she spun herself around using her front hooves as an axis, and the Draconequus dropped over her back and barely managed to cling into her as she lunged forwards again, holding him tightly with telekinesis against her body and clearly desperate from the start to catch up to her brother.
Luna was laughing loudly, almost rolling on the ground in merriment, as Cowlick grinned from ear-to-ear before looking with entertainment over at Twilight Sparkle as she rubbed slowly at her features. “Sometimes I look at her and think to myself, 'if only I'd known she was fun all those years ago, I could have been getting hammered with the Queen of Equestria.'”
“You shouldn't hit yourself with hammers, Cowlick, that would hurt.” Ross said kindly, and Cowlick sighed but turned softer eyes to the stallion, reaching up and absently brushing back his mane.
“Yeah, I know, hon.” Cowlick said amiably, then she looked back and forth and asked curiously: “Where the hell is Shiny? Any of you guys seen him anywhere? That big dog of yours, Cheshire, he ain't turning him into a chew toy or something, right, because I will sue your asses for the cost to fix him back up. That alloy of his is goddamn expensive.”
Scrivener favored Cowlick with a dry look as Twilight only gestured towards where Cheshire was now laying on his back, Innocence happily attempting to climb the mountain of a Replicant to get to where Abaddon and Ratatoskr were both peering down at her, while Hevatica sat nearby and gazed affectionately at Innocence. “No, they're fine, see? And he's not a dog. He's a pony.”
“Looks like a dog, acts like a dog, smells like a dog. He's a dog.” Cowlick said mildly, and then she winced when Luna strode over to her and began to poke at her with her horn, making her wince and flail at the crystalline spire. “Get that away from me, I don't want no foreign objects shoved in me.”
“I find that hard to believe.” Luna said grumpily, and then she straightened and shook her head before complaining: “And why is it then that thou art allowed to make fun of everypony else, yet we poke fun at thy damned Shiny and 'tis always 'I shall shoot thee in the face, Luna!'”
Cowlick huffed at this, retorting: “Because Shiny is a defensive little cyborg, and he's cute and all that. Your damn adopted kid is like... the size of that psychotic bitch Morning Glory and screams poetry fragments at me. I guess he's like your husband but drunk.”
Scrivener and Luna only looked mildly at Cowlick as Twilight cleared her throat, and Cowlick sighed tiredly before turning slowly around and looking up at Morning Glory, who looked calmly back down at the engineer. There was a long, awkward moment of silence, and then the Destroyer simply stomped a hoof down on Cowlick, Ross wincing at this as the engineer was squashed into the ground before Morning Glory asked distastefully: “Luna Brynhild. Where are Antares and his little friends? I don't see them anywhere, but I also don't see any of you little ponies crying about it, so I assume they must be doing some favor or errand for you. I wish to go and help them with it so I don't have to put up with all the annoying attempts to make conversation with me and Burning Desire's little strumpet.”
“Jealous?” Luna asked ironically, and when Morning Glory gave her a foul look, the sapphire mare gestured easily at the house. “Aye, they are making some treats with the help of Aphrodisia, I saw them after washing the grapefruit out of mine eyes.”
Morning Glory grunted, then strode towards the house and flicked her horn, the door swinging open. Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, cleared his throat from where he had half-hidden behind Luna, leaning towards the squashed Cowlick as Ross looked down at her worriedly. “You... you okay there?”
“Yep. I'm perfectly fine.” Cowlick mumbled, then she slowly pushed herself to her hooves and cracked her back, glaring over her shoulder and grumbling: “See, things like that are the reason that I made Artemis. 'Cept she's so damn scary I think sometimes that bullets would just go around her.”
“She's not so bad. I mean, she's been great help at the forge now and then.” Spike remarked, and then he winced a little when Cowlick glowered at him. “You uh... ever think that maybe... well, I'm not judging you or anything, Cowlick, but uh... you are a little...”
Cowlick only grunted, ignoring Spike completely now as she began to fumble for a cigarette, before glaring at Luna when the sapphire mare huffed and poked at her with her horn. “No smoking. And none of thy drugs either. If I am not allowed to make a scene and do whatever I please today, then thou art not allowed to smoke and pillage.”
“That's... okay, fine.” Scrivener winced back a bit from the glower Luna favored him with, saying dryly: “All language bows to you then. I'll hereby just let you set whatever meanings to whatever words you want, whenever and however you want to.”
“Good. That is the way it should be anyway.” Luna said comfortably. Cowlick grumbled, but then sighed when Ross gazed at her softly, and she smiled after a moment at the stallion, dropping her head against his. Luna let her eyes linger on this for a moment before looking over towards where Burning Desire and Ersatz Major were easily chatting with Fluttershy and Nirvana, murmuring: “And yet all the same I am reminded again how fortunate we strange creatures are, aren't we?”
Scrivener smiled a bit at this, nodding slowly, and Twilight gazed softly towards her lovers before Cowlick commented mildly, glancing over her shoulder at the house: “Most of us are, anyway. Sometimes I think poor Meadowlark in there thinks about murdering your son, though.”
Luna only laughed at this and shook her head, grinning a little despite herself: she knew well that Antares could sometimes be a little frustrating, after all... and inside the house, this was proving very true as Antares awkwardly attempted to help Aphrodisia, Tender Trust, and Meadowlark with making the cake, stirring a large bowl of sludgy-looking... well... it was supposed to be icing. Antares had the very distinct feeling he was not making icing.
The mares were working easily together in the kitchen, while Antares was working on the divider, looking almost enviously at them with how fast they were making, frosting, and stacking up cookies and other treats, while the cake finished baking in the oven. Aphrodisia was bouncing happily on the spot beside Meadowlark as they put the finishing touches on the cookies that Tender Trust was making and pulling out of the smaller conventional oven on the counter ever now and then to pass over to them. And somehow they had mixed up a big bowl of punch and put together some other flavors of icing and basically done all the work without him.
Well, he'd helped at first. And nearly destroyed the cake. So they had put him to work here, except he had by now realized this icing wasn't going to be used and he had no idea what he'd mixed up. So finally, the stallion sighed a little and said lamely: “Maybe I should just go out and uh. Take care of Innocence or something. I'm not really doing anything here, am I?”
“Oh come on, big brother, you're hanging out with us and keeping us company!” Aphrodisia said positively, smiling over her shoulder at him. “Besides, don't you want to give Innocence a big surprise and all with this cake? We'll let you decorate it, promise, as... well... as long as you let Meadow and me stay beside you the whole time. And maybe help you out a little. But definitely just a little.”
Antares looked sourly at Aphrodisia, but she only looked back with a cheerful smile before Avalon said mildly from behind him: “Dude, it's cool. You spent like all morning with her anyway. And it's just like... older ponies out there right now, talking about everything and blah blah blah. I mean, my parents are totally cool, and Luna's plenty awesome and all, but you know that all Twilight wants to talk about these days is Innocence. And we gotta be all nice and stuff to everypony and I totally hate that. That's lame.”
“Ava, come on.” Antares looked mildly over his shoulder at the sprawled out pony, who only sulked a little in response. “A lot of the ponies out there are heroes. I mean, real heroes. You could learn a lot from them and stuff.”
“I know, that's what pisses me off!” Avalon exclaimed, throwing her hooves up in the air, and Antares looked curiously over his shoulder as the others kept themselves working. “We could totally be training right now, or... or learning how to do really cool, awesome fighting stuff... or just listening to old war stories and my Dad could be showing off how much more awesome he is than your Dad, but instead, no, it's a celebration for a one year old so let's all act like one year olds and I am not dressing up like a goddamn ladybug for your little sister again, no way, no how.”
“Me?” Aphrodisia looked curiously over her shoulder, and Avalon groaned and grabbed at her face before the demon giggled and brightened. “Oh, you mean Sin, right! I think it'd be cute if you dressed up as a ladybug, though.”
“Sometimes I hate you. And that Mom treats me like I'm five just because I apparently haven't gotten bigger since then.” Avalon grumbled moodily, raising a hoof and looking grouchily over it, before she half-rolled to the side as the sound of loud hoofsteps filled the hall; a moment later, the tiny Pegasus grinned brightly at the sight of Morning Glory, the Destroyer favoring Avalon with a moody look at this expression. “Hey! You like me, right? Well, you should totally teach me some cool stuff about kicking flank and beating ponies up!”
“No.” Morning Glory said distastefully, and Avalon huffed grouchily at this before the Destroyer favored the mare with a mild look. “I highly doubt you would have the focus or intelligence to learn what I could teach you about the old arts anyway, since I doubt that your parents or any of the other ponies here would give us enough room for a proper spar.”
“Try me. Anything, I'm so damn bored!” Avalon rolled up on her haunches, brightening, and Morning Glory studied the young mare meditatively before nodding once.
Avalon immediately leapt to the air eagerly, Antares glanced curiously towards the Destroyer, and even Tender Trust looked up with interest as she cleaned her front hooves off, before Morning Glory said calmly: “Go and gather flowers from the forest nearby. We'll practice arranging them.”
The tiny Pegasus stared and dropped back to the bedding, landing with a thump on her rear and mouthing wordlessly before she spluttered: “You... you want me to arrange flowers? Are you out of your mind? I thought you were some... giant... killing... death demon of-”
“Mother taught me that.” Tender Trust smiled warmly, gazing over at the Destroyer, and Avalon's mouth immediately clamped shut as she stared dumbly at the half-Phooka. “It's much harder than it seems at first. It requires patience, and calmness, and an intuitive eye.”
“And it's part of learning inner harmony. Lessons I... did not learn so well as a shieldmaiden, but I've been trying to rectify this error despite my... temperament.” The Destroyer looked moodily down at her hoof, slowly examining it before glancing over at Avalon mildly. “You might be a strong fighter, child, but some of the fiercest fighters I've ever met are now nothing but drudging animals in Helheim, fit for nothing but fighting in the dog-pits, where there are no rules and the warriors are as likely to bite and claw one another as they are to try and use sword or shield. Don't forget that part of the reason I'm sane is because I serve Luna Brynhild as my Mistress: if I was without a master, don't think I'd be half as pleasant to you little ponies as I am right now.”
Avalon quailed backwards a bit and Antares shifted uncomfortably, but the awkward silence was broken a moment later by a quiet 'ding,' and Aphrodisia chirped: “Cake!”
Tender Trust smiled and stepped out of the way so the demon could pull this quickly out of the oven, and then Apps called easily: “Antares, forget about Grumpy Granny and come over here, help me ice the cake! And then you can at least carry it out, Ava, you've been lazing on your butt for so long I bet you're going to get all squished by gravity and even shorter if you don't start moving.”
“That doesn't even make any sense.” Avalon complained grouchily, but she huffed and flitted up into the air, crossing her forelegs and looking hesitantly across at Morning Glory, before asking impulsively: “How... how many of us, do you think, are gonna end up in Helheim like you?”
“I'd like to make sure none of you do.” Morning Glory said quietly, and Avalon smiled after a moment at this, before wincing when the Destroyer added darkly, her golden mane flaring up: “But if you do happen to end up in the icy pit anyway, I'll make sure you all end up where you'll learn quickest not to make the same stupid mistakes that got you there in the first place.”
Avalon rubbed awkwardly at her face... but ten minutes later, she flew out of the house with a smile on her face that was only half-forced, Antares calling to his sister as Aphrodisia and Meadowlark both balanced big trays of cookies on their backs. Twilight swept up Innocence and brightened at the approaching younger ponies, and everyone crowded in to see the cake.
It was shaped like the moon, covered in vanilla frosting and bordered with little roses of black chocolate. In the center was a single horn-shaped candle made of sugar, and the text over it was a simple 'Happy Birthday,' but Innocence gazed down at the cake with wonderment, like it was truly the moon itself, stolen from the skies and made edible all for a treat for her.
Ponies all smiled, and Antares reached up and ruffled his sister's mane, making her huff but then smile back. And as he gazed at her warmly, he promised himself silently that no matter what happened to him and how often he screwed up, he was going to protect his baby sister, and help guide her away from all the mistakes he had made, so she would never have to fear the cold, unforgiving ice.