//------------------------------// // S1E8: Look Before You Sleep // Story: My Little Pony: Bureaucracy is Politic // by swirlstar //------------------------------// Season 1 Episode 8 - Look Before You Sleep Mayor Mare's House, Ponyville The Agenda: 1. Assigning Blame for the Accident at the Library [ ] A) Assigning Punishment [ ] 2. LONG TERM - Break the Power of the Apple Family [ ] "So, you're saying that Ms. Sparkle's house just got hit by a tree." Mayor Mare said, eyes still affixed on the agenda of the day. "Indeed, Ma'am," Secretary for Administration Crimson Ribbon replied. "Well, you sure make these agendas pretty quickly," the tan mare handed the piece of paper back to the bureaucrat. "Thank you, Ma'am. It is a skill I am fortunate enough to possess." "But still, it's a bit early, isn't it? I mean- " the sound of thunder suddenly rang around the house. "the storm's not even over yet..." "Uh, not too early for the media," Cheerilee poked her head into the room. "Mom, we've got some visitors." * The Mayor's Office, Ponyville "I want to re-assure the citizens of Ponyville once again, that ponies have nothing to fear from the accident involving the Library! We will be carrying out an immediate investigation into the incident. I guarantee you this: no Ponyvillian will ever be harmed by thunderstorms during my tenure: not during, not after! And to prove it, we're going to bring in an investigator from Canterlot..." Mayor Mare switched off the radio and turned to Ponyville's weathermare. "So I hope you have a good explanation for this." Rainbow Dash sat up straight in her seat. "It wasn't my fault, Mayor! That lightning strike wasn't supposed to happen! Why would I want to do that to Twilight?" The tan pony narrowed her eyes. "It was you who asked for the Category Four Rainstorm." "Well, that was because I- I missed the last one!" the cyan pegasus said indignantly. "Uh, because I was busy! With... uh... clearing the fog! And stuff!" "Yes, but it was still you who asked for the Category Four Rainstorm," the Mayor emphasized, closing in for the kill. "Yes, yes, so I did!" Rainbow Dash said, in full-blown job preservation mode. "But that's not the point! You still shouldn't have unscheduled lightning, even in a Cat Four!" "So I'm guessing one of your team scheduled that lightning bolt, then..." the tan pony began, clearly hoping this to be the case. Just admit it, nice and quick, come on! "No!" the prismatic mare denied vehemently. "Of course we wouldn't do that! It's against every rule in the book! We never use rainstorm-grade lightning anywhere near houses!" Just great. "Well," Mayor Mare said, folding her forelegs. "Let's hear your explanation, then." Rainbow Dash sat in thought for a while. "I guess it must be something in the cloud that went wrong. Probably the trigger thing." Well, at least here's another victim. "Thank you, Ms. Dash. We will contact you later if there are any new developments relevant to you." * Rich Industries Headquarters, Ponyville "The investigator from the Weather Agency will be coming in soon," Crimson Ribbon said. "So we'll need to keep this meeting brief." "Thanks, Mr. Ribbon. Please do remind me if I am late," Mayor Mare said, striding alone into the office of Mr. Filthy Rich, GSS OB HP. The room reeked of cigars and champagne. Like some movie villain, Mr. Rich swiveled around in his chair to face the incomer. "Ah, Mayor!" he said, standing up and offering a hoof. "So glad to see you." "Hello, Mr. Rich." The two ponies shook hooves. Filthy Rich gestured towards the wine cabinet. "Drink?" "No thanks, Mr. Rich, I'm afraid I've got other appointments later this evening... " "Do you?" the industrial magnate raised an eyebrow. "... although I'm sure they would understand if I was a bit... absent," Mayor Mare added hastily. Filthy Rich stared hard at the politician before breaking out into an unnerving laugh. "Oh, no worries, Mayor; it's only a small favor I ask. I'll be brief. You know that incident with the tree and the library?" "Yes," the tan pony responded jitteringly. "We're bringing in an investigator from the EWA as we speak -" "That would not be necessary," the businesspony lit up a cigar. "Oh?" Mayor Mare asked instinctively. "You know who did it?" "Yes... and no," Mr. Rich said, blowing smoke into the air. "It seems that QA has discovered some documents, buried beneath all the paperwork. These documents seem to have... raised some interesting issues with regards to our newest THUNDAR cloud trigger system." "Oh." Mayor Mare's heart sank. "Now we will obviously fix these issues ASAP, don't you worry. But then... " the magnate shuffled his papers around. "Actually, Mayor, remind me what we were talking about again. I seem to recall mentioning some issues, but I don't know of any issues regarding Rich Industries." "Of course not, Mr. Rich," the Mayor concurred. "of course not." The businesspony flashed a winning smile. "That will be all, Mayor." * The Mayor's Office, Ponyville "Are you sure Mr. Rich's support means that much to you? You know he donates to the Equine Party as well," Crimson Ribbon noted. "Yes, but what does it say to my other donors, when I don't fulfill campaign promises?" Mayor Mare was pacing up and down. "And Filthy is not a pony I want to mess with in any case, for the sake of my career." "For the sake of your career, I would suggest not cancelling the investigation either," the bureaucrat noted. "But of course, there is that other option." Mayor Mare looked at him with some curiosity. "Oh?" Crimson Ribbon gave one of his knowing smiles. "Mayor, just how desperate are you?" * Mane Street, Ponyville "Inspector Hercule Holmes," the trenchcoated pegasus extended a foreleg. "EWA Chief Investigator." "Good day, Mr. Holmes," Mayor Mare shook the investigator's hoof. "Nice flight?" "Let's get down to brass tacks and talk about the incident. So, what we have here is a case of unintentional lightning discharge," the inspector said gruffly. "a serious charge indeed. In that case, let's have all the files on the cloud type, the cloud manufacturing company, the trigger company, the weatherpony, the lot." "Ah." the Secretary for Administration raised a hoof in protest. "I'm afraid I must deny your request." "Why." The Mayor cleared her throat. "The company must remain classified. National security." The inspector raised an eyebrow. "A cloud manufacturer is an issue of national security." "Indeed it is. You will no doubt know about the chaos caused by the Great Weatherpony Strike of 912. That's the kind of 'national security' we're talking about. It's always good to be on the right side of the Treason Act, don't you think?" the Secretary of Administration asked. Hercule Holmes sighed angrily. "Alright, so let's have the weatherpony and the type of cloud involved." "Sorry," the bureaucrat said. "But that's national security as well." "The weatherpony and the cloud type is national security." The detective couldn't have imagined, in his wildest dreams, that the same organization who had asked him to investigate, was now itself blocking his investigation. "Apologies. But we simply can't give you any hints that would let you discover the company. Our clouds and our weatherpony may supply you with clues, you see." The inspector's face darkened. "You know that all EWA inspectors have the power to inspect anything they wish, right? And that obstruction is a felony?" "Yes," the gray stallion replied smoothly. "so let us see your court warrant." "I... " Hercule Holmes was more than miffed that this weedy bureaucrat had called his bluff. "Alright. So what can you give me?" * The Cabinet Room, Ponyville "We can give you this," Mayor Mare handed the inspector a thick file. "Thank... you?" the inspector scanned through the documents, furrows deepening as he proceeded. "Wait. All this is redacted!" He whipped out a page covered in black marks. "How am I supposed to read this?" "National security," Crimson Ribbon responded. "I apologize, but we are Equestrian patriots here." Hercule Holmes tossed the folder back at them, loose pages flying everywhere. "Is there any evidence that you can actually show me, regarding this accident?" "Well," the bureaucrat gave the question some thought. "I guess we still have the bits of tree lying around, next to the library..." "Thank you," Inspector Holmes remarked sarcastically. "I will go myself, if you don't mind." Mayor Mare began dialing the phone as soon as the detective's hoofsteps faded into the ether. "Captain Force? Mayor Mare here. Time to turn on that incinerator. Good. Report here soon." "An excellent job so far, Ma'am," Crimson Ribbon remarked as the tan pony put down the receiver. "He won't have anything to investigate at this rate." "Yes, but still..." Mayor Mare mused. "He would still write, in his investigation report, that we've been obstructing him. That wouldn't be good, especially if Lyra gets her hooves on something like that." The Secretary of Administration nodded. "A valid observation. But, at the very least, we'll have bought ourselves some time- " The insistent knocking from outside the door broke the bureaucrat's train of thought. "Ma'am! Applejack!" came a thick country drawl. "Ms. Applejack? Come in!" The orange mare entered sheepishly into the room. "Uh, hi there, y'all," she said, Stetson in hoof and keeping a respectful distance. Both officials silently beckoned Applejack to elaborate on her entry. "Um, I was readin' them old papers while Applebloom was performin' some school play, and uh," Applejack grimaced. "Well, I came here as soon as I could to apologize to y'all." "And why would you need to?" the tan mare asked. "Well... " Applejack tried in vain to think of a more delicate way of putting it. "It was me, Mayor. That tree fallin' into Twi's house: that was my doin'. Not the lightnin's. I'm sorry... I lassoed the tree so it wouldn't fall on the neighbors, but I pulled too hard and- " the orange pony lowered her head. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault. Again. I'm really not in shape these days, am I?" Deliverance. "Thank you for telling us, Ms. Applejack. We'll discuss this at a later time." "Sorry again," the farm pony said, exiting the room backwards. The door closed. "You know," Crimson Ribbon suggested. "perhaps you might want to readjust your long-term goals. Ms. Applejack has really been rather co-operative." Mayor Mare sighed. "Well, the Apples can be good folk. But it's not like I have much of a choice if I want to sit here after election. And besides," the tan mare justified, "it's not like Ms. Applejack knows what she's done for me." "True, that." "She has my gratitude on a personal level. But in politics, war is war." * The Mayor's Office, Ponyville "I will have to register my extreme disappointment in the conduct of this government," Hercule Holmes declared. "It is most improper for an authority to both be asking for the help of the EWA in an investigation, and then proceeding to obstruct said investigation through every means possible. Not that I haven't been able to pick up bits and pieces - indeed, I almost certainly know who is at fault here - but without any concrete documentation, it will not suffice for my report." "That was tragic indeed," Mayor Mare mused. "Perhaps you could have helped out more if you felt so," the inspector jabbed. "Ah, no, I meant your presence in Ponyville was tragic," the tan pony clarified. "My presence? How so?" "You see," Mayor Mare explained. "it turned out that the tree was actually felled by a pony, not by a lightning discharge." The inspector was taken aback. "So, you mean that there was no issue with lightning discharge at all?" "As I said," the tan mare repeated with a manufactured hint of annoyance, "it turned out that the tree was actually felled by a pony, not by a lightning discharge." "I see." Hercule Holmes took the bait. "It seems that my stay here was a waste of time, then. I can't write a report on something beyond my jurisdiction." "Since apologies, Inspector Holmes, for wasting your precious time," a relieved Mayor stood up to send him out. "I will see to it that we will remunerate you appropriately..."