//------------------------------// // 12. Descent into Darkness // Story: Shades of Grey // by Inquisitor M //------------------------------// 12. Descent into Darkness “Since you asked so nicely,” Seeker said, mimicking Luna’s oft-used theatrical style. “I would suggest you order both of these lowly rapscallions to pull your chariot, my lady.” Splashdown stood before Rarity with one hoof wrapped around a dour-faced Thunderer. She'd been contemplating a hundred reasons to chastise herself for lying to Luna when the question came; imploring Seeker’s advice bought her time to think something that wasn’t obviously self-deprecating. “But what if that’s what they want?” Rarity replied. “It wouldn’t be right to let them both think they’ve won their little game.” “Good point, good point.” He chewed his lip then drew close enough to brush against her cheek. Rarity’s ear twitched and her eyes shone. “I must say, Seeker, you make such marvellous suggestions. Vindicator, Glory, I couldn’t possibly entrust my friends to either of these incorrigible reprobates. Might I request that you fine gentlestallions keep them safe for me?” Side by side, the two stallions exchanged a smirk and bowed. “Seeker, if you would be so good as to fly lead for us, I will keep these two where I can keep an eye on them. And Seeker...” She gave the pegasus a long kiss on the cheek. “Thank you very much for your advice.” Grinning, Seeker flexed his wings, giving Splashdown a face full of feathers as he strutted away. “Yes, yes. Thank you, Seeker.” Splashdown rubbed his nose with a hoof. “Buckle up, ponies! Let’s be ready to go when Luna arrives.” Four stallions took their places as glowing chariot harnesses slid around them. Where Pinkie pounced onto the small deck, Rarity tested it with a single hoof before Fluttershy crept alongside her. The pegasus sported a feeble smile and cowed stature, but quickly hopped aboard when prompted, as if awaiting permission. Rarity squeezed between her two friends and gave Fluttershy a soft nuzzle, receiving a barely audible ‘thank you’ in reply. I’m not even sure what for, Fluttershy, but this is for me, I’m afraid. She let her head rest against that soft, yellow coat, feeling lighter with each out-breath. She only noticed the tension in her chest when it began to melt away, but it returned when she heard hoofsteps from behind; Princess Luna approached wearing plain saddlebags and levitating a gem-encrusted box. Such bland colours look dreadful on a princess, but it means so much to her. She looks distracted again, but I can’t ask about it here. The box flipped open and the Elements of Harmony floated towards their respective owners. Luna’s gaze, however, never left the box. The assembled ponies watched in silence as Silverlight stood nose to nose with his princess, and Rarity’s heart pounded as Luna’s eyes locked with his. They care so much about her. “Wings at the ready!” Silverlight yelled with a sudden about-face. Five pegasi and a princess flourished their wings. Beside Seeker, Rainbow Dash slowly fanned her own wings, looking to each guard in turn with a huge grin. “Move out!” ( II ) Luna trailed far behind and below the chariots. An hour into their flight, Rarity watched Seeker fall back to circle her as he had done a dozen times already. Meanwhile, Pinkie and Splashdown launched into another game of pretend. First it had been some sort of treasure hunt, then it was fleeing from dragons, and now Pinkie Pirate planted her hooves on the railing of the Party Crasher, wearing an eyepatch and yelling, “Flank speed ahead, ya dogs, or I’ll hoist ya from the yardarm!” Rarity ducked as a pretend peg-leg waved through the air above her. Exhaling the latest in a long chain of sighs, she lent against Fluttershy once more. Fluttershy reciprocated, but this time she sighed and muttered. “Do speak up. I can’t hear you over this wind.” Fluttershy lifted her head. “I’m sorry, Rarity. I don’t mean to be a bother.” “Oh, Fluttershy. Whatever are you apologising for? Didn’t I tell you I was thrilled that you flew all this way to check on me?” “Well, yes, but...” Fluttershy’s ears folded down. “I was so tired that I fell asleep before you woke up, and then I wanted to ride with you instead of flying, and now you’re being so nice to me, and—” She squeaked as Rarity’s leg squeezed her. “Don’t be silly. It’s an honour and a privilege to show you just how much I appreciate you.” Bra-vo! That was quite the ruse, Rarity. Almost true, yet so diabolically deceitful. Why... why do you sound like Fancypants, now? Because, my dear, you’re doing rather too well at ignoring me. “Look to the skies, shipmates!” Pinkie yelled. “They be tryin’ ta board us!” “Aye, Cap’n! They’ll not get a hoof past me!” Splashdown shouted back. Fluttershy giggled and nestled against Rarity’s neck. “Thank you, Rarity.” “Shush. I’ll hear no more of this nonsense.” Rarity measured the passing time by Seeker’s regular reconnaissance of Luna, and spent it revelling in Fluttershy’s company. As unimpressive as Cloudy Top Mountain was from the air, it was still visible long before the chariots set down on the grassland at its base. Luna, Seeker, and Rainbow Dash flew ahead to the plateau, leaving the other guards to airlift the grounded mares. Applejack was the last to set down. “Ah’m just sayin’ there’s nothing wrong with doin’ it on hoof!” she said, adjusting her hat with a huff. “Twilight Sparkle, Rarity,” Luna said as Thunderer landed. “I believe it would be best if you two were to enter alone. My presence would distract Stormcloud from the nature of your enquiries, as would the presence of all six of you.” Dash leapt to her hooves from resting. “No way! How can you ask them to—” “We get it, Rainbow,” Applejack shoved a hoof in Dash’s face. “Ah don’t like it neither, but we ain’t gonna talk Twi out of helping a pony in need. We gotta trust Princess Luna that Stormcloud ain’t the rotten apple we saw.” “But… what if… you saw what happened to Rarity!” “Your concerns are well-intentioned, if unnecessary,” Luna replied. “Perhaps you should escort your friends halfway to see the Elements of Harmony protecting them?” Dash’s nose wrinkled. “Yeah, sure. And just how am I supposed to see more than a hoof in front of my own face?” The Element around her neck sparkled and glowed with Luna’s magic. “Wow! Dashie!” Pinkie Pie cried. “That’s awesome!” “Heh. It is pretty awesome.” Dash straightened herself up. “All right. I guess somepony has to keep you girls safe, and I am clearly the pegasus for the job.” Applejack groaned. “Well, bein’ the fastest pegasus in all Equestria, maybe you ought to be gettin’ on with it.” “I’m goin’!” Dash took two strides towards the tunnel before balking as she turned to face it’s gaping maw. “I, uh… just waiting on you two. Come on.” Grinning to each other, Twilight and Rarity flanked Rainbow Dash and pushed into the darkness. As they disappeared from view, Fluttershy’s ears folded down and she sunk to the ground to wait. ( II ) In the tunnel, there was no compliant pegasus to help chase away the memories of Rarity’s last visit. You could always talk to Twilight, my little pony. Stop it! I am not going insane, and you are not Princess Celestia. ‘Tis true! I, Luna, Princess of the Night, am far better suited to chastising you for your behaviour! But it wasn’t my fault! It was the— Silence! You are always getting angry, Rarity. You never admit it when you’re wrong. You let poor Fluttershy think you were comforting her and you are too cowardly to apologise to Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie—or send a message to dear little Spike. What of all the other things you are hiding? Twilight’s birthday dress, perhaps? Writing a letter to Celestia does not exonerate you from hiding how you let her down. That’s not fair! Fair? Was it fair to leave Spike asleep because you don’t know how to deal with his feelings? Was it fair to trample on Pinkie Pie simply because she was not afraid? Was it fair that I shared my deepest fears with you and you said nothing in return? But… Nothing! You are unworthy of the Element of Generosity. At least I admitted when I was being selfish. “Rarity?” Twilight stared at her. “I can’t feel anything, but you don’t look so good. Are you okay?” “Oh. It’s nothing, dear. I feel... fine.” Twilight’s attention lingered a while before she smiled. “Rainbow Dash, we’ll be okay from here. Please tell Luna that the Elements are protecting us just she said.” “Maybe I should go a little further,” Dash replied, coming to a halt. “Y’know, just in case.” “Oh, Rainbow Dash. I know you want to look out for us, but we’ll be fine, honestly. Luna’s right: it should be just the two of us. I’m sorry.” “It’s quite endearing, you know,” Rarity said. “Being so worried about us.” Dash stubbed the ground with a hoof. “Yeah, yeah. Fine, and… thanks. I just…” Rarity laid a hoof on her friend’s shoulder, but Rainbow Dash jerked away and stomped on the ground, hard. "Rainbow Dash?” The pegasus wheeled suddenly, wings spreading as she erupted into a geyser of words. “You don’t get it, do you? I was really worried about you, Rarity! First there was this whole thing with Fluttershy’s dreams, and then you get rushed to hospital where even the doctors didn’t know what to do!” Dash growled and bucked the wall. “There wasn’t anything I could do either! I was totally freaking out, not knowing what was happening to you. I… I was scared, Rarity. Me! Rainbow Dash! Scared because I didn’t know what was wrong and if you were going to recover, and…” Her head dropped, and her wings folded up at her sides. “You just disappeared. Twilight was already gone, and Pinkie knew everything about you before I did and—I guess... I mean I... I’m sorry.” Hmmm... Do you see, Rarity? Nightmare Moon’s voice stretched the words into a guttural purr. Even Rainbow Dash can admit she was afraid. Truly, you are a more pathetic worm than even I believed. That her discomfort is your fault makes it all the more delectable. The cool air in the tunnel sharpened the feel of sweat building under her coat, yet her face felt warm as her heart pounded. She let out a held breath when Twilight spoke. “Rainbow, I was just as scared when we came back from the infirmary. I tried to ignore it: writing to Princess Celestia, studying, even arguing with you was better than thinking about it. But when I saw the Princess yesterday, I... sort of cried. A bit. I was so frustrated about what happened to Fluttershy that I didn’t even notice you were worried, Dash! Will you let me make it up to you?” Dash stubbed the ground again. “Nah. You don’t have to do that, Twilight. But… you could ask Princess Celestia about tickets to the next Wonderbolts show. Y’know, if you wanted?” “I don’t know about that,” Twilight replied with a giggle. “But Princess Luna is going to be the one getting worried if you don’t go back and tell her that we’re okay. This is very important to her and I’m sure she’d be happy to help if you just ask.” “Yeah, I know, I know. I’m going. Just… don’t trust this jerk. Okay?” “Rarity and I will be extra careful. I promise.” Twilight leaned forwards, but Dash recoiled sharply. “All right, I’m going! Just no more of the mushy stuff!” She leapt as far past the unicorns as the confined tunnel allowed. “Applejack would never let it go if I cried twice in one day.” “But Rainbow Dash, I thought you said you didn’t cry earlier?” “Did I say twice? I meant—never mind, gotta go see Luna!” She galloped up the tunnel, vanishing from sight. In the deepening gloom, Rarity lit her horn, and her breathing slowed when the light stretched far into the darkness. Beside her, Twilight smiled broadly. “Wow. I honestly never thought I’d hear Rainbow Dash admit something like that. I hope she feels better.” Hmmm... yes. Wouldn’t it feel good to admit something like that? You like things that feel good, don’t you Rarity? You like to feel special. Shut up! ( II ) “Wait.” The booming voice came from every direction at once, but the crackle and hum of Stormcloud’s uncontrolled magic echoed around the corner ahead. When the sound died away, the stallion’s voice was weaker. “Continue.” Rarity hurried into the cavern to find Stormcloud lying on the central obsidian disc, panting heavily and horn glowing with its constant, silvery aura. When she hesitated, Twilight rushed past her. “Oh my gosh, Stormcloud! Are you okay? Wait, that’s a really dumb question. Is there anything I can do?” Stormcloud rolled onto his side and let his head flop to the ground where he could see his visitors. “My sincerest apologies, but unless you have some extremely good news, then no, there is probably nothing you can do to help. Now if you don’t mind me asking, why did Luna turn back?” “Luna? I’m afraid that was Rainbow Dash,” Rarity replied. “Strange, but no matter. You do not have the look of ponies intent on rebuking me for the way our last meeting ended, so what might I do for you?” His heavy breathing abating, he lurched back to his stomach raised his head up straight. “Well,” Twilight said. “I’ve been working with Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, under the guidance of Princess Luna. We definitely know more about what’s going on than either princess did before, but it’s still a lot of guesswork. I was hoping you could tell me what it was like when you were dreaming? What you could do, how much you could see, and what changed when you said it became a nightmare? It’d be a big help.” Stormcloud ran a hoof over his unkempt mane, but the tufts of hair sprang straight back up. “It is hard to describe. It was like absorbing an abstract experience: not actually seeing, or hearing, or smelling, yet knowing those sensations. Like a dream, however, those memories are fading quickly, so I cannot be sure.” “I thought waking up would be a momentous occasion. I learned so much—wisdom enough to rival the sisters themselves, I thought. But now, it vanishes like so much smoke. In the end, it is nothing but a waste.” Twilight’s eyes widened as she leant forward. “Can you still do the things you could do before?” He seems happy just to talk, but every breath is like watching him carry the weight of the word on his shoulders. Twilight doesn’t see it. Why can’t you see it, Twilight? Luna sees me, why can’t you? “Nothing. There is nothing of it left. The nightmare was constant terror—as if my heart was galloping and my lungs were burning, yet I had neither. All this magic was just waiting to explode out. Now that it suffuses this place, I can feel the mountain as easily as the hair of my mane; yet, I could not repeat what I did when you last came here. I remember that I did it, but it’s just a dream—it isn’t real. I hope you can appreciate that I really did mean to protect you and your friends, even if I had to trick you to do so.” “We do,” Rarity said, stepping ahead of Twilight. “We spoke with the princesses and they told us what happened all that time ago. I’m very sorry it happened, Stormcloud. Truly, I am.” Twilight narrowed her eyes at Rarity, and in the lull, Stormcloud rose and stretched his legs. “It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it,” she said, shuddering. “But I understand, I guess. Listen, we’re still evaluating information, but we think the reason you can feel the nullification matrix is the same reason you had the nightmare. We’re worried that the mountain is just full. You could be in real danger, so we were hoping you’d let us seal you back up to keep you safe.” Stormcloud bristled. “No!” His wild eyes fixated on Twilight for several seconds before he relaxed again. “I admit the idea of risking the nightmare again terrifies me, but that is not the only reason. I can handle this—” he gestured towards the scorch marks around the cavern “—but I cannot live with the uncertainty of going back in that cage, however well-intentioned it is. I do not expect you to understand, or agree.” “You can’t be serious!” Rarity cried. “You have no idea what could happen if we don’t! It might be even more horrible than your nightmares, you might even… you might…” “Die? That is possible, but I am not suicidal, if that is what you think. You have no more an idea of what will happen than I. You don’t even know if there is an answer to my curse at all.” Twilight sagged. “You’re right. We don’t really have any idea what will happen. We’re just guessing that it’s the least dangerous option.” “Least dangerous? Or least responsibility for you? I will not do it, Twilight Sparkle. I do not want to die; I want to live, and I will accept whatever risks are required of me to have that. Since the day Celestia took me away from what little family and friends I had, I have been promised a solution. Now I demand satisfaction, even if that is gratuitously unfair. I am willing to bet my life on getting what I want, not what is convenient for everypony else.” The trio fell into silence, and Twilight started shifting her weight from hoof to hoof as it dragged on. “Twilight?” Rarity’s voice was low, and she waited for the unicorn to look up. “Perhaps you ought to go and ask Luna to come down. I’d like to talk in private before I go, if you don’t mind?” The other ponies tilted their heads symmetrically. “She’ll be safe,” Stormcloud said without taking his narrowed eyes off Rarity. “No less safe than you are now, at least.” Twilight’s mouth moved, but no sound came out. “Don’t worry about me, Twilight. I’m sure I’ll be fine, and I’ll only be a minute behind you. I promise.” Scowling at Stormcloud, Twilight headed for the exit. Her expression lightened just long enough to give Rarity a nod before she disappeared. “You have my full attention, Miss,” Stormcloud said. “And my interest. What do you wish to know?” Rarity waited until Twilight’s hoofsteps faded. “I really am sorry about everything that happened to you, but I wanted to ask… Luna said you held a great deal of bitterness towards Princess Celestia. Could you tell me more about it?” Stormcloud leant forward, scanning Rarity’s face as Luna had before him, and like her, his face suddenly brightened when he was done. “My mother died before I really knew her, and I would be better off having never known my father. My circle of friends was pitiful. I constantly got in fights, even before the teasing and bullying began, so I had little by way of support when my horn grew and the insults started flying. Little, but something nonetheless. “When even adults give you a wide berth for being a freak, it is impossible not to take it to heart, so you will understand how it felt for Princess Celestia to investigate in person, talking to me, of all ponies. She promised to find out what had happened—promised it would be better if she took me away—but it was not to be. The confused, angry colt I was then felt betrayed when I was given to other ponies to study and raise me. She kept an eye on me, of course, and I tried to believe that she would make good on her word, but...” Stormcloud’s face went blank as he trailed off. Then, suddenly, he smiled and resumed speaking with new vitality. “When Luna came along… now that was magical. She was intense, engaging, and I could sense how much she cared. I had already alienated most everypony around me, either through my charming personality or one of my little accidents, but Luna weathered it all with a smile and more questions or experiments. She was everything that her sister was not, and when she admitted her own resentment of Celestia, you can appreciate that we… bonded. I know it was not literally true, but it felt like she was my last hope for any kind of life, and any kind of happiness. I—” Stormcloud blinked. “Sorry, I appear to be veering off the subject. You asked me why I felt bitter towards Celestia, and I hope that explains it. When Luna was giving me her attention, it simply reinforced my feelings that Celestia had failed to deliver on her promises.” Rarity blinked, too. She sniffed once, wiping her eyes as she exhaled. “Luna said that things didn’t really work out between the two of you after your accident. She’s been so good to me today and it pains me to see her hurting, so I wondered if you would tell me what she was like when you knew her? There really aren’t many ponies I can ask.” “I suppose the words strong, confident, and regal do not mean much when speaking of a princess,” Stormcloud said. Again, Rarity saw the perfect mimicry of Luna as his eyes defocused and stared past her, his voice growing low and quiet. “Luna was intense, passionate, and occasionally a little needy, if I am to be honest. Not that I would have any right to complain about that, even if I wanted to.” He chuckled quietly, another smile spreading across his face. He remembers what it is like to have her attention. "That was the problem,” he continued. “Luna needs to feel like she is making a difference. It was so easy to make her happy just by appreciating the effort she put in, but after the accident, I changed. I could not look into her eyes anymore. I could not make her feel appreciated because I hated myself.” His face tightened and his brow furrowed, but Rarity could still see the smile that he clung to like a life raft. “I want you to appreciate that it is also her greatest strength. Once she is impassioned with a cause, nothing could ever hope to stop her. Not even Celestia, I imagine. I am probably biased, but I find that to be magic in a way that nothing else in Equestria can even begin to compare to.” Rarity watched the tension build around Stormcloud’s eyes until he turned away from her. Somepony to make us feel special. Isn’t that what all of us want? It doesn’t take a stallion to fall in love with a princess, but I can’t imagine how much harder it might be for one. Stormcloud didn’t move. Unsure how long she could maintain her own composure, Rarity began plodding quietly towards the tunnel. "Thank you,” he said in a nasal tone. “Thank you for asking. It gives me hope to know that another pony cares about her as I do.” It should have been a beautiful thing to hear, but Rarity could only think of all the things she had failed to say to the princess and all the ways that she failed to understand her troubles. “Luna and Twilight both told me that Princess Celestia thought you’d given up,” she said. “Luna said she didn’t believe it. I don’t believe it either.” She couldn’t see his face, but caught a flicker of movement and saw a patch of obsidian darken beneath him. Another splash joined it. She wanted to say something—she wanted to offer the words she’d longed to hear when crying into her pillow. She wanted to believe that such words existed. ( II ) Turning the last corner, Rarity looked up towards the tunnel entrance and the plateau beyond. There, framed in moonlight and shadow, Twilight sparkle stared back, her huge irises shrinking under the flood of new light. Rather than hurrying, Rarity slowed to a dignified saunter. “Is everything okay?” Twilight asked, lunging forwards and hugging Rarity tightly. “Yes, Twilight.” Rarity pressed her face into the purple coat. “Everything is fine. It’s just… I needed to get some things get off my chest.” When Twilight released her, she raised her own hoof to continue the embrace. This time there was no resistance, and the soft nuzzle against her own crest told her what she needed to know: I’m here for you. Pulling away, she saw three guards and Rainbow Dash were asleep on a pair of clouds. On a third, Luna lay with her hooves dangling over the edge. Glory sat to one side of her, and Fluttershy stretched out on the other, watching Luna from the corner of her eyes. Poor thing still isn’t comfortable around Luna. Isn’t that why you like her, though? She needs you and you like that—need that, as Stormcloud said. Applejack stalked over from beside Pinkie. “Did you know some o’ these ponies have been up for almost two whole days? Ah gotta say, Ah feel like these fellas put a farm girl to shame.” “Do not shower them with such praise,” Luna said with her wicked smile as she spread a wing across Glory. “They’ll go soft on me.” The pegasus laid his head on his forelegs and closed his eyes. “It is time I went to see Stormcloud then. Twilight Sparkle says he seemed calmer. Would you agree with that assessment, Lady Rarity?” “I would. But I don’t think it’s him that changed. I think it was us.” “Wise words.” Luna swooped down from her cloud and hoisted her saddlebags onto her back. Yes, they are, but they’re not mine. Not really. “I didn’t know,” Rarity said to Applejack as Luna disappeared down the tunnel. “But I do know how much Luna appreciates them.” Applejack’s been talking to them. Did I even stop to just talk? Sorry, Splashdown, you were right. I really did just want the bells and the baubles and the spotlight of being with Luna, but you still closed ranks and made me feel special. I don’t deserve it, but thank you. Splashdown landed softly on the plateau, releasing a small tuft of grey cloud from his mouth. “Your pegasus was right, this stuff is freaky. Pinkie Pie, listen to this.” Pinkie put an ear to the ball of fluff. “It’s fizzing!” She started giggling and pulled away sharply, rubbing her ear. “It tickles, too.” Splashdown shoved the cloud into Pinkie’s face and she giggled harder, clutching her sides as she rolled onto her back. “Squeal for me, piggy!” he shouted when she snorted between guffaws. Rarity watched with a smile; he seemed a completely different pony than the one that reared up in front of Celestia. “You must be wonderful with your foals.” “Heh. Yeah. Didn’t used to be, though. Guess I have Luna to thank for that, too. You’ve seen Luna with Blessing, right? She’s great with that kid. Taught me a lot.” Could that be what Stormcloud wanted? A mother to love him? Applejack hummed quietly to herself. “When ya say it like that, it makes me feel like Ah don’t know Luna at all.” “Nothing personal, Applejack,” Splashdown replied, raising himself to his full height. “But you don’t know her at all. We all appreciate what you folks did, but it burns my tail up when ponies assume they know Luna.” Applejack bristled as Pinkie jabbed the guard from below. “Hey! What’s made you such a grumpy-guts?” The guard backed up, but his stare remained hard. “If you had any idea how many ponies I’ve had to ward off because they thought they knew what was best for Luna, or thought they were the ones to—” “Twitchy tail!” Pinkie shouted, and moments later the mountain shuddered. A few loose rocks began bouncing down the mountain’s sides, but any dangerous ones were deflected by Twilight’s magic. Rarity levelled her own stare at Splashdown. “Luna?” “Up!” Splashdown yelled, and Fluttershy shot into the air with a squeak. “Now!” Glory and Rainbow Dash remained motionless, but the other three heads jerked upright. Pinkie, still lying on her back, waved a hoof upwards. “Listen! The clouds are fizzing!” “That can’t be good,” Twilight said, darting for the tunnel. “Come on, we have to go and check on Luna!” “Wait!” Rarity shouted at the vanishing Twilight. I need help. If anything’s gone wrong, what could I do on my own? She turned to Splashdown. “You’re going to need light if you’re coming.” Splashdown nodded. “Vindicator, take Glory and stick with Twilight. Seeker, aerial recon and report back to Thunderer. Move!” Twilight barely slowed enough for Vindicator to drag Glory after her, and Pinkie followed them all with a spring in her step and a tuneful hum on her lips. Rarity’s breathing quickened. She felt woozy. The sounds around her became muffled. She heard Applejack shouting at Rainbow Dash, and Splashdown explaining something to Thunderer. She felt Fluttershy land close enough to press against her flank. All of these things seemed distant, subdued, unreal. She expected to faint, but instead, she snapped into focus when Splashdown’s hoof touched her shoulder. “We’re ready,” he said. Lighting her horn, she led her new entourage into the tunnel. She felt numb: mindlessly going through the motions of what she knew had to be done. It’s not as if we even know anything bad has happened… right?