//------------------------------// // Ooh look! Fleshies! // Story: It's Ole Neccy! // by Cades //------------------------------// Well. It’s that time of millenia. Time to wake up. Every thousand years or so I, a Necron who took to being called Ole Neccy, wakes up to help maintain the Tomb Spyders. Why? I don’t know. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was black. Funny. I usually see black with green glow and the silhouettes of Tomb Spyders. And what I’m lying on doesn’t feel like metal. Feels like... something organic... spongy... grass? That stuff I’ve heard those funny looking humans talk about? I sit up, and look around. A lot of green stuff and some brown stuff. The green stuff was coming out of the brown stuff on somethings. I manage to stand up, getting a better view of what was around me. More organicy stuff. I think those humans called these things plants. Oh how they laughed and laughed and cried. They missed their homes. Then my curiosity got the better of me and they started to shoot me with their flashlights. So, I did what came to me first. I advanced upon them slowly, blasting them with my gauss blaster. Back to the really planty place at hand. I am very confused as to why I was here. The last thing I remember was going back to sleep after the rest of the members in my tomb. But now, I just don’t know what went wrong. I look around, searching for my flayer, which is nowhere to be seen. I allow my shoulders to sink, a thing I saw humans do when they do what I believe is called a sigh. I looked around, and heard something. Something... curious. It sounded like humans, but younger and not the ones with the junk dangling from their lower bodies. What? I’m curious. I focus in on the voices, and follow them to their source. What I saw amazed me. My gauss blaster and three little animals that were of bright, color. More importantly, they’re playing around with my blaster! Pesky little horse rodent things. “Ah wunder wut it does! Scoots?” The yellow orange thing with red on the top of her, I’m assuming it’s a her, asks the orange thing with purple, and strange things on its back. “I dunno, Apple Bloom. Maybe it’s some sort of... transpor... transper...” “Is the word you’re looking for transportation?” The white one said. I like the white one. Don’t know why, just do. Probably because it has a thing that looks like it can impale a small animal through the heart. I push the planty things apart, startling the three young whippersnappers to run away and up a tree. I walk over to my gauss blaster, and pick it up. I look over the weapon, and I feel myself smile on the inside. I love this weapon. Back to the trio of little things. I looked up at the tree they hid in, and gestured for them to some down, my hand not even on the grip of my weapon. I dropped my shoulders when i heard them bickering that I would eat them. I knew they could see me, so I tried opening my “mouth,” which didn’t work because I don’t have one. I gestured for them to come down, and to my surprise, they agreed. But quickly went back up when they heard howling and the creaking of wood. I slowly turned around, and saw large canine like creatures made of wood. Think them humies called them wolves... But these were made of wood... so are they called timber wolves? Let’s go with that. And boy, are they PISSED that I’m in their territory. The first one charged, and I made no action to move. It bit down on my right arm, and I just looked at it, my head tilted curiously. One of its eyes swiveled to look me in the face, where it peered into my cold, soulless eyes. The reaction it made was priceless, and it let go, backpedaling towards its packmates. If I could smile, I would be grinning the worst smile of all smiles, the most cruel smile, ever. Of all time. I brought my gauss blaster to bear, aiming at any of the wooden wolves. I pulled the trigger, and the green lightning like beam flew out of the barrel and collided with one of the wolves, instantly disintegrating it and sending the particles back to my gun. Silence reigned throughout our little space in the woods. Now, you may be wondering why a NECRON, a soulless heap of living metal that despises all death, is protecting three little life forms that I should be killing. I’m going to say that my programming is faulty because I have no idea either. Anyway, after the first wolf fell to my weapon, the others all looked at me. Then, they decided to charge me. Now, I managed to take out two more before the all leaped, so I had to use the blade attached on my blaster. It got wedged in the first one, allowing the others to latch onto me. While I was on the ground, for the wooden wolf that leapt at me knocked me over. Welp. I am, as the humans say, fucked. Being the ever stoic Necron I am, I pulled the trigger to my gauss blaster, and it disintegrated the wolf to my left, freeing up that arm. With that free arm, I manage to free my weapon from the wolf. Unfortunately for me, the largest of the wolves decided to bite my head, almost clean off. Which then killed me. With me out of the way, the wolves then turned to the three fleshies in the tree. Unfortunate for the fleshies and wolves, but fortunate for me. Why do I say fortunate? Because I rolled a six on my reanimation protocol, so you can just suck it! I stood up, in a rather painful looking motion, and picked up my weapon, the wolves completely unaware of what is transpiring behind them. I turn around, aim, and fire, disintegrating one wolf instantly. I repeat, another confirmed kill. Now all that remain are two wolves, the large one and a small one, which is currently lying on the ground with a cut from my blade in its chest. I focus solely on the large one, which is now charging at me. I fire without aiming, glancing it’s leg, which causes it to stumble and fall, sliding towards me now. I back up a few paces, and look down into the eyes of the beast, it clearly wanting to get this over with, wanting me to show no mercy for it. Now, I do something HIGHLY unorthodox for a Necron. I let it live. Yeah, that’s right. I step over the fallen form of the wolf to retrieve the fleshies in the tree. Someone should take a picture of me holding a hand out to those three fleshies in the tree. One of the trio pokes its head out from the green stuff, and looks at my hand curiously. It then looks at my face, and retreats back into the tree. I put my hand down, listening to them argue whether they should come down or not. But come on, I’m only a ten foot tall zombie robot with a weapon that can destroy just about anything. What harm can I do? Screw you, reader. I know what you’re thinking! Oh, but Ole Neccy, you can kill everything! Maybe even the rulers of the land which you know nothing about, myaah! The white one poked her head out from the tree and said, “Umm... Mister? Do you think you could take us... that way?” I looked in the direction it was pointing its stubby appendage, and nodded. The face of the white fleshy one expanded in a grin and retreated back into the green stuff, and emerged a short time later with the other two. “Are you going to carry us, mister?” The white one asks me. I contemplate for a little while, then nod, turning around so they can get on my shoulders and back. When I don’t feel anything, I pat my back, a motion for them to get on. I smile internally when I feel the three small things hop onto my back. I then begin walking, my weapon in my hands, to protect the three young ones. Why the hell am I doing this? I’m still going with faulty programming, or maybe something in the world is changing me... “So, uh... Weird metal thingy... what’s that thing you’re holding?” The annoying orange and magenta one asked me. That’s it! It’s magenta, not purple. I slapped a hand over my mouth, and began rubbing my hand against it. “Umm... What?” White one asked. “Hey, mister. Can you talk?” I shake my head, negative, Ghostrider. “Oh...” She said, sounding a bit.. downtrodden? Huh. After that revelation, the trip was rather quiet. The trip lasted an hour or two before I heard somethings, voices. Off in the distance, the way we’re headed, I could hear voices. Not just any voices, panicked voices. The slightly less annoying yellow on, who was on my left shoulder asked if I could speed up. So I did. The really annoying orange-ish one was on my right shoulder, looking around with wide eyes. And on my head, was the not annoying white one. The white one said shouted something which sounded, which prompted a rather refined voice to respond, equally as loud. Why were they shouting at each other? I mean, come one. I’m right here, guys. The brush parted, revealing a slightly larger white thing with purple on its head, followed by a flying blue thing with a lot of colors on its head, an orange thing with a cool hat, an annoying looking pink thing, another yellow thing with long pink stuff that was hiding behind a purple thing with purple head stuff. All of their mouthy things were wide open, in shock at seeing three small things, possibly their kin, riding a ten foot tall zombie robot. “Hi, Rarity!” Not annoying white thing said, waving. That broke them out of their stupor. What happened next surprised me, only slightly. The orange one ran up and kicked my left leg with her back appendages, while the blue one flew at my torso a high speed. Of course, being a Necron I didn’t budge, but the two that attacked me felt the pain of attacking something made of solid metal, which, at least to me, is pretty funny. Well, it was funny before the two things with horns on them tried to grab my arms with their warp powers. I’m assuming this because their horny things on the top of their heads started to glow, indicating a connection to the warp. And to their surprise, the glow around my arms started to fizzle, along with the glow around their horns. And to surprise them all, I set my weapon on the ground, got onto my hands and knees, and tilted forwards to allow the three young things off of my shoulders and head. Yet again, jaws dropped to the floor at my actions. I righted myself, and picked up my weapon, shrugging at the peculiar looks that the six are giving me. The blue one was the first to recover. It flew up to my face, shouting something at me, which I didn’t even bother listening to. Instead, I just looked straight into her eyes with my cold, soulless ones. Her rant started to falter as she noticed the bored, not caring look in my glowing eyes. As she started to back away, the purple one approached me, curiosity positively bursting from her. A scholar, I presume. I hope she is nothing like Trazyn. That Necron is annoying, what with his tendency to take ancient relics and send out copies of himself. As this scholar approached, I looked down at her. Now, I’m just going to assume that these fleshies just believe me to be a mindless automaton with little to no purpose in its seemingly immortal life. “Can you understand me?” It asks, talking slowly, almost like I’m some sort of young thing. I roll my eyes and nod my head. It makes a high pitched noise, a huge grin appearing on its face, and spews stuff about a princess and first contact with an alien race. Something like that. Before it can say anything else, a regal sounding voice shouts something, which sounds like “Twilight,” and the purple one turns around. “Princess? What are you doing here?”