//------------------------------//
// S1E4: Applebuck Season 
// Story: My Little Pony: Bureaucracy is Politic 
// by swirlstar 
//------------------------------//


Season 1 Episode 4 - Applebuck Season



The Cabinet Room, Ponyville


The Agenda:
1. Dealing with the Aftermath of the Disasters [ ] 
A) Who Is Responsible? [ ]
B) Punishment [ ] 
2. LONG TERM - Break the Power of the Apple Family [ ]

"Four hundred thousand bits," Bit Coin said. "That's preliminary cost."

The tan mare looked up from her piece of paper. "Four hundred thousand bits?"

The Finance Secretary shrugged indifferently. "A fifth of the town was in Medical. What did you expect?"

"We tried to call Rabbit Fumigation, but Ranger Fluttershy wouldn't let us," Delta Force said. "Had to pay extra to have Rabbit Capture take them back."

"Not to mention the indirect costs of illness and having no weathermare," Bit Coin remarked.

"Right...what do you mean, we have no weathermare?" the tan pony asked. "Last time I saw, Ms. Dash was flying."

"Yes, but that's non-strenuous flying, flying for recreation," Crimson Ribbon said, still slightly green from the previous night's ordeal. "Ms. Dash claimed that she couldn't do any strenuous flying, like flying for work."

Mayor Mare sighed.  "Right," she said, glancing again at her agenda. "Let's just find the horse who was responsible for this and make her pay. Delta Force, what do you have?"

Delta Force cleared his throat. "Well, we've asked around. It seems that all the disasters - Ms. Dash's injury, the cupcakes, the rabbit stampede - that was all the work of Ms. Applejack."

"Applejack!?" Mayor Mare said. "But she just saved the town from a cattle stampede a week ago! I even gave her that prize!" And wasn't that just a whole week of unabashed fakery.

"I don't think the laws of causation work like that," the Secretary of Administration remarked sarcastically. 

"But then, come to think of it, she did look quite out of it when...oh, hey!" the tan pony's ears perked up. "Oh. Hey!"

The other three members of Mayor Mare's cabinet turned their heads towards her.

"If Ms. Applejack's the culprit, then we could charge her, couldn't we?"

"Of course," Crimson Ribbon said.

"Then we could seek damages, couldn't we?"

"Sure," Bit Coin said.

"So we'll make her pay all costs!" Mayor Mare said gleefully. "Problem solved!"

"I doubt the Apples have that much money," the Finance Secretary cautioned. "You'll bankrupt them."

"Even better!" Mayor Mare clapped her hooves.

Bit Coin turned to Crimson Ribbon, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"The Mayor believes that the Apple family are dangerous monopolists who are perverting the structure of the Ponyville economy for their own ends," the gray pony explained.

"Oh. Right. Well that's fine by me, I guess. Never liked the old coot much anyway."

"So there we go!" Mayor Mare smiled. "Delta Force, can you please give me a list of potential witnesses?"


*


Mane Street, Ponyville


"The problem is," Crimson Ribbon scanned the witness list as they walked down the street. "Most of these are second-hand. That won't hold any water with the Circuit. We need witnesses who actually saw the event."

"Alright," Mayor Mare said. "So, let's start with Ms. Dash. That should be easy," she said, regarding at the wooden tower erected right in the center of town.

"Ah." the Secretary of Administration gave a polite cough. "Apparently nopony else saw what happened between Ms. Applejack and Ms. Dash firsthand."

"What." It was market day. A circle of stalls surrounded the tower. Schoolfillies were playing on the see-saw. The square resonated with the sounds of buying and selling. "You're telling me nopony else saw Ms. Applejack injure our weathermare."

"Apparently not. She probably evacuated the whole place by citing 'Lightning Practice'," the bureaucrat said, unfazed. "it's legal," he added, anticipating Mayor Mare's concern.

The tan pony shook her head in resignation. They were in front of Sugarcube Corner. "Why can't anything in this town be easy?"


*


Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville


"Oh, w-we are so sorry, b-but we really didn't see Applejack b-bake anything," Mrs. Cake said, trembling like a leaf.

"But she was with Pinkie?" Mayor Mare asked. Mrs. Cake nodded in fear.

The Mayor turned to the Secretary of Administration. He shook his head. Not good enough.

"Oh, please, don't revoke our license!" Mrs. Cake suddenly burst out, grabbing the tan pony's legs and sobbing hysterically. "The shop's the only thing we have!"

"Please calm down, Mrs. Cake!" the Mayor reassured her. "We're not after you."

Mrs. Cake looked up, grateful tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh, thank you, thank you so much!"

"Now, can you bring in Ms. Pie?"

"Here I am!" the pink pony bounced into the room. 

Mrs. Cake saw this as her cue to leave. "Thank you, thank you so much again!" She shot a dirty look at the party mare as she exited the room.

"Settle down, Ms. Pie," the tan mare gestured to a nearby chair. "Now, were you baking the cupcakes with Ms. Applejack?"

"Oh, yes!" Pinkie Pie said happily, before suddenly making an involuntary heave. "Eurgh! Thinking about them still makes me sick!"

"Did you see Ms. Applejack put in the ingredients?" Mayor Mare said, noting down Pinkie Pie's every word.

"Yes! Well, actually, I didn't. I was too busy looking at the cookbook. But still! It was only the two of us in that kitchen. So unless it was my great-grandma who did it, I guess it was Applejack!"

"Alright," Mayor Mare said. Good evidence. "Thank you, Ms. Pie!"

"No problem-o!" the pink pony turned and began to leave.

"We'll send you a letter when the trial starts!" Mayor Mare reminded her.

The pink mare stopped dead in her tracks. "Trial? What trial?" She looked back.

"Why, Ms. Applejack's trial, of course. You need to take the stand and repeat all of this to the court!"

"Ohhh!" Pinkie Pie finally realized what all this was about. Then she giggled. "Oh, Mayor, that's not really necessary!"

"Not necessary?" Mayor Mare looked back at Crimson Ribbon. He shrugged again. These bureaucrats sure like to shrug.

"I forgave Applejack already, Mayor!" the party pony continued in her upbeat voice. "It was only a little mistake, wasn't it? Anypony could have made that mistake!"

"Ms. Applejack's 'mistake' cost Mr. Ribbon all night in the washroom," Mayor Mare remarked.

"Well, I'm sure Mr. Ribbon here's such a nice guy, he'll be sure to forgive Applejack too!" Pinkie Pie said as she skipped happily out of the room.

Mayor Mare couldn't resist throwing her quill and parchment across the room in frustration.


*


Fluttershy's Cottage, Ponyville


"We could subpoena Ms. Pie," Mayor Mare said hopefully.

"The Princess Celestia personally grants all subpoenas. I doubt she would let you convict an Equestrian hero," Crimson Ribbon said. "Anyway, here we are. The house of Ranger Fluttershy."

Mayor Mare knocked on the door. It opened and a yellow pegasus peeked out. "Oh...it's the Mayor. Oh."

"Ranger Fluttershy, we'd just like to ask you a few questions," Mayor Mare said gently.

Silence.

Mayor Mare took this to mean assent. "So, did Applejack help you corral the rabbits?"

"Oh yes. We were trying to count how many families there were."

"So what did she do?"

"Well...she and Winona were running around, chasing all the bunnies into the pen. The bunnies got scared and ran towards Ponyville. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry about this..."

"It's not your fault, Ranger Fluttershy."

"Oh no! It is my fault, Mayor! I...I should have warned them about the bunnies beforehand..." Fluttershy whimpered. "I mean, I did warn them, but...I should have warned them more!"

Just great. "Fluttershy, you followed procedure."

"No, Mayor, it's all my fault!" Fluttershy rose her voice into semi-audible territory. "I should have known that Applejack would do this! I'm so sorry, Mayor, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to...I'm so...!" she abruptly shut the door in the Mayor's face. The tan pony could hear the yellow pegasus breaking out into tears of self-loathing.

Mayor Mare sighed. She turned to Crimson Ribbon. The stallion shook his head.


*


The Cabinet Room, Ponyville


"Judges take a dim view of perceived mental and emotional instability in witnesses," the Secretary of Administration noted. "Plus it seems that Ranger Fluttershy is intent on being a witness against Ranger Fluttershy."

The tan mare sighed in annoyance. "Separation of powers is overrated."

A knock on the door put her out of her philosophizing. "Mayor Mare!" a slightly hoarse voiced called out. "It's Rainbow Dash!"

"Come in, Ms. Dash!" Mayor Mare said.

The doors opened and a cyan pegasus walked in, grimacing and clutching her left wing.

"Please sit down." Mayor Mare gestured opposite her. "This is Secretary of Administration Ribbon, Ms. Dash," the tan pony indicated to the left of her.

"Hi," Rainbow Dash responded.

"Let's get down to it. How did you get that injury?" Mayor Mare enquired.

"Oh, this?" Rainbow Dash moved her wing a few times, before remembering to wince. "Ow! Anyway, I was practicing my flying skills - you know, to move the clouds better - and I asked Applejack to help me out at the jump tower. She shot me into the air when I wasn't ready, and I crashed into Twilight's balcony. This hurts, you know," the pegasus rubbed her wing for emphasis.

"So, Applejack was responsible for your injury?"

"Yeah!" the pegasus stomped the floor in a huff. "And there I was, thinking that she was Ponyville's best athlete!"

"Good!" Mayor Mare had finished writing the notes. "Thanks a lot. I'll tell you when the trial date comes up."

Rainbow Dash was nonplussed. "Trial... date?"

"Yes, the trial date, Ms. Dash. You need to stand as witness." Not this again.

"A witness? But..." Rainbow Dash's eyes widened at the realization. "Hay! I'm not ratting on Applejack!"

"This is for justice." Crimson Ribbon calmly said.

"Justice, schumistice!" Rainbow Dash stomped the ground in indignation. "I represent the Element of Loyalty! You can't tell me to betray a good friend!"

"Ms. Dash -" Mayor Mare began, but Crimson Ribbon signaled for her to stop. 

I can handle this, the gray stallion thought. "So, Ms. Dash, you feel that you are being loyal by standing up for your friends. Am I right?"

"Yeah!" the prismatic mare banged the table in agreement. "Friends stand up for each other!"

"Well, what about your loyalty to Ponyville and its citizens, then?" the bureaucrat pointed out.

"I...well...well, what about them?" Rainbow Dash said, puzzled.

"Your absence is costing Ponyville thousands of bits a day. Ponies need the right weather, Ms. Dash. If you're not going to drive the clouds away, at least let those poor, poor ponies gets some compensation for it- "

"I...uh..." Rainbow Dash stammered. "Uh...oh! I'm not a citizen of Ponyville, am I? I'm a citizen of Cloudsdale!"

"Oh sure," Crimson Ribbon said slickly. "Let's review your residency permit, then- "

"No no, don't !" Rainbow Dash panicked. "I...uh...oh, I know! Why don't you just ask Applejack?"

"Because she's so going to tell the truth," Mayor Mare responded.

The pegasus raised an eyebrow. "She's the Element of Honesty. I'm sure she'll tell you the truth. You won't even need to go to court to get it out of her."

Mayor Mare looked at Crimson Ribbon. He shrugged yet again.


*


Ponyville Park, Ponyville


The interview, of course, had to take place far away from Sweet Apple Acres. Mayor Mare still had nightmares about Granny Smith.

"I'm real sorry about everythin' that happened," the farm pony, sat on a bench, drawled. "I truly am. This has been all my fault. I thought I could buck all the trees by myself."

"Don't you employ a hundred ponies?" Mayor Mare asked.

"We keep our family's first ever plot for ourselves alone. Granny's always thinkin' them laborers might stage a revolution if they ever took charge of everythin'," the orange pony said with some amusement. "And my brother hurt himself."

"Uh-huh," Mayor Mare said, hungry with anticipation. "So, just to recap. You were responsible for Ms. Dash's injury?"

"Yes."

"You were responsible for the cupcakes disaster?"

"Yes," the farm pony said, taking off her Stetson in shame.

"And you were also responsible for the rabbit stampede."

"Yes. Oh, sheesh, I truly did it this time, huh?" Applejack looked at the ground.

"You really overestimated your capabilities," the tan pony remarked. Just a little taunt before judgment.

"I really did," Applejack said with undisguised remorse. "I really thought I could do everythin' by myself. I thought I could buck all that Apples on our plot before this season. But then, I had to corral those cows, launch Rainbow in to the air, bake cupcakes with Pinkie Pie, that awards ceremony, filling in them roads..."

"'Fill in them roads' - Wait, what!?" Mayor Mare said. "What?"

Applejack looked back up in surprise. "Filling in them roads. You know them cows create a lotta potholes. Gotta get that fixed before market."

"But...I sent an emergency crew to deal with that!" Mayor Mare exclaimed.

"Yeah you did, and it sure as sugar made my job that much easier," the farm pony chuckled. "But still, your crews were all concentrated on one end, so, I started on the other. Took a whole night, but I met them three-quarters of the way through! Oh...Mayor? Mayor? Is everythin' alright?"

"Ms. Applejack, can I just have a word with Mr. Ribbon here?" the tan mare said, shaking her head to and fro in her forehooves.


*


The Cabinet Room, Ponyville


"Mayor, are you sure you're just going to let Ms. Applejack off with no penalty?" Bit Coin looked at her, expecting some sort of joke reveal.

"Oh, fine, let's just have a token charge that the Apples will accept. One thousand bits."

"I have to register my protest," the Finance Secretary said. "You've left me with a budget shortfall of three hundred and ninety-nine thousand bits!"

The tan mare sighed. "We'll do something about that later."

The chestnut pony tried again. "Are you sure that we can't just charge Applejack for the full sum? Or even half sum? Darn it, not even the quarter sum?

"Bit Coin," Mayor Mare was mentally spent. "The court of public opinion is not a legal court. Proof is pointless. So it's true that Applejack was doing our job, when we didn't ask for her help." 

The tan pony continued as she poured herself a glass of gin. "But so what? Everybody's still going to blame us for driving her into physical and mental exhaustion. I can just see it now..." Mayor Mare began to gesture wildly. "'Mayor's Celebration: Did It Drive Applejack Over the Edge?'. Or 'Heartless Government Fines Model Citizen'. I'd prefer a different front page."

"You're thinking too much," Bit Coin attempted one last shot. "You just need to know that you are working in Ponyville's best interests."

Mayor Mare gulped down her drink. "You're not an elected official."