My Little Clony

by therealfeedback

Act I, Chapter II

“I…don’t…get it. A…magic show?” Doctor Whoof’s breath was staggered by panting, as the two had just spent the last few hours running straight from Manehattan to Foalton.

“An…old friend is here. She has an ego, but while it’s not what she claims, she does have talent, and she has personality, so I paid for her travel expenses and for a traveling stage for her to perform on.”

Whoof shrugged. “You’re…the one…who knows who you’re bringing…lead…the way.”

After a short walk farther, they arrived at what appeared to be a regular traveling stable, plain and inconspicuous, but with a myriad of hinges on all sides, what was either a patchwork by someone with too much free time, or a very elaborate multi-purpose design. There was a door on one side, which Caesar knocked on. A voice echoed from inside.

“Who dares disturb the great and pow—“ “Drop the act, Trix.” Caesar cut in. ”I paid for this thing, I deserve to come inside.”

There was a sound of something dropping from inside, before a face showed itself in the hole in the door. It was that of a blue unicorn, with a plume of hair in a lighter blue extending down in front of her face. A mix of surprise and concern covered her face.

“C-Caesar? I thought you were going to book the next shows in three months, not—“ Caesar cut in yet again, not wanting to extend things longer than needed.

“It’s not about the act. It’s about something more important.”

“…Fine, come in.” She pushed the door open, allowing Caesar in. She stood in the doorway as Whoof entered though. “Caesar manages the act, that’s why he’s allowed in. You are?”

“I’ve never seen you before. Same question.” Caesar’s ears shot up, and he spun around to face The Doctor over Trixie’s shoulder. “Don’t—“ This time, Trixie cut off Caesar.

“You dare insult I, the great and powerful Trixie, with a comparison to one as low as yourself, simply because you are inept enough not to know my name?!” Her manager sighed behind her, placing a hoof on his forehead.

“Here we go…”

“And that is why I’m called ‘The Great And Powerful’ Trixie!” The sun, which had been up when the two arrived, had now set.

“…How did you talk that long, with that little air, without pass—You know, it’s not important. Can the Doctor just come in now?” Trixie stuck her nose up, but stepped aside, letting the Doctor in. The inside of the stable was fairly bare, a few shelves here and there adorned with assorted personal care items, pieces of clothing, a few photos, and random pieces of what looked like a magician’s gear lying about, most of it on a small wooden table around which the three gathered. The whole thing had an overall rustic feel to it.

Once in, Whoof whispered to Caesar, who had been lying in the corner, trying to bear through the rant. “Is she always like that?” He replied silently with a nod, after which the two turned to face Trixie.

“So, what did you come here for other than business?” She asked. “That’s usually all I ever hear from you for.”

“Something much more important, as I said. I need people for something. You’re a damn good illusionist. Even if your other fields could use some work, that’s invaluable.”

“I’ve gotten better, too.” She quipped, a smug smirk on her face. “Ever since that little wretch in Ponyville…” As she spoke, she slammed a hoof down onto the table. “I’m better now. Illusion is still my specialty, but I can do other things too.”

“Great,” Caesar responded. “The more the merri—“

“Hold on a minute.” This time, Caesar was the one being cut off by Trixie. “I never agreed. I have shows scheduled, I can’t exactly disappear all of a sudden. Especially since I have one tonight.”

“I’m your manager.” He replied. “I can make it happen.”

“Yes, well…” She said. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Simple.” A smug smirk crossed his face. “No more funding.” At that, Trixie started stammering, consternation alternating with anger and frustration on her face. “I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t important.” He added.

She sighed, lowering her head in defeat. “This better be good…” Caesar nodded.

“Right then, thanks to that ‘little’ rant, we’re going to have to make a four hour run in three hours, so I think we should get going.”

“Great,” Chimed in The Doctor. “Because the great and prideful Trixie couldn’t stop, we’re going to be late…”

“Can it, fez-head.” She shot back.

“Lets just get going, alright?” The two nodded to Caesar, then set off back to where the two colts had come from.

The threesome arrived at the club shortly after eight, all three nearing falling over from the run. “I…don’t see…why we’re…coming…to a place…like this…” Trixie staggered as she spoke, breath coming from short rasps rather than full breaths.

“Because there…are…two others…here.” Caesar responded.

“Plus we can…sit down and…have a drink. A nice…luxury…given our run…don’t you think?” Added The Doctor.

The three entered the building. Being a nightclub, outside of the coloured lights shining down from above the stage and the lights inside the bar, there was very little light in the room, and what light there was, was dimmed by the haze that filled the room, which was accompanied by the acrid scent of the smoke.

Distinguishable in the light though, was the gray pony from before sitting at the bar, staring at a small glass in front of her, before one cross eye caught the group.

“Doc, Caesar! ….Who’s she?” She gestured to Trixie as she spoke.

“You are unknowing of that which you are in the presence of? The grea—“

“Trixie, please.” Once more, Caesar cut her off. “Time’s an issue right now.” The unicorn stuck her head up once more, clearly annoyed by the interruption, but silent nonetheless.

“Derpy, this is Trixie. A magician, a unicorn, particularly good with illusions, and says she’s better at other things now, too. Trixie, Derpy Hooves. Pegasus, mailpony, muffin aficionado, and another friend.”

“Alright, now that that you’re done with introductions, can you just show us what you wanted to show us already?” Trixie’s voice had an edge of anger and annoyance in it, understandable, given she’d been rushed across miles of land.

“In a moment.” I said to her. “There are two more ponies I want to have with us. One’s traveling the world right now for occupational reasons, so not much we can do there. The other though, is right here.” As I spoke, I gestured to the stage, on which stood a single goggle-adorned unicorn behind a turntable. The Specialist. “Vinyl Scratch, better known by her stage name, DJ P0N-3.”

“Alright, now I’m just lost.” A look of confusion appeared on Doc’s face. “You’re bringing together a doctor, a magician, a mailpony, a world traveler, a businesscolt, and a DJ? What are you trying to do with all this?”

“She’s also a bit of a gun nut,” I added. “That comes in handy later. Right now though, we need to get in conta—“

“Hey, Caesar?” This time Derpy was the one interrupting, rather than me doing it.

“Can it please wait Derpy?” I asked. “This is important.”

“But there are two yous.” She replied.

“…Are you sure that’s not just the cross-eyes?” The Doctor chimed in, the confusion now mixed with exasperation.

“No,” She said. “There’s another Ceaser right over there.” She raised a hoof, pointing across the dance floor. “Can you teach me to be in two places at once?”

My heart skipped a beat or three as I looked in the direction she gestured. There, indeed, was one of my doppelgangers. By my misfortune, he was here tonight as well. As of yet though, it seemed through the smoke, lights and number of ponies inside the club, he hadn’t taken notice of me.

“No no no no no….get in front of me.” I hopped behind Whoof, switching his hat with my own, and putting my monocle on Trixie. Things could get very bad for both my companions and myself if the other Caesar acknowledged me. “Trixie, give me your cape.”

“What? Why?” She asked.

“I don’t think that’s what’s important right now Trixie.” Chimed in The Doctor. “What is would be why are there two of him?”

Thoughts began racing through my head like lightning, one after another. What the Removal process would involve, if simply being seen by the other Caesar meant Removal, or if contact would need to be made, how it may differ for each of us, whether or not simply changing the hat would be a suitable change to avoid recognition. All firing at once, and flying out of my mind just as quickly, before a hoof slammed into my face knocked me back into coherence.

“Are you listening?” The voice, as well as the hoof, came from The Doctor. “There are two of you. How does that work?”

“Well, this isn’t how I intended to show you guys, but this is what I wanted to show you.” I said, climbing back up. “There are two of me. Probably more than two. I know there at least three. The same goes for all of you, as well. I’ll explain everything if you can get us somewhere secure, the backstage area for example.”

“The DJ is another one of my ventures into the entertainment business – kind of like you are Trixie, but with music instead of magic – So if you tell her you’re with me she’ll let us back. But I can’t go up there; the other Caesar can’t see me. Or if he does, it’s imperative he doesn’t know I’m him. Which is why I need you to give me your damn cloak Trixie, and why I need someone else to go get the DJ.” With a sigh, the magician pulled the cloak away from her neck, putting it over my back.

“Get so much as a single loose thread and you’re buying a new one.” She warned.

“I financed your act, I bought this one.” I shot back. “Now, can someone get the DJ? Be discrete, we don’t want any ate—“ I stopped as I looked up towards the stage, and my heart sank.

“Hi there!” Derpy had flown up onto the stage, and was now in front of the DJ. Since the music was on the LP’s in front of them, the music didn’t stop, so it wasn’t all bad, but there were plenty of ponies looking in confusion. Fortunately, the other Caesar wasn’t among them.

“Um…hi?” The DJ responded, a confused look apparent even through the goggles. “Can I…help you?” I breathed a sigh of relief. There wasn’t a mic on the DJ, only on the turntable itself, so as long as she didn’t lean forward, there wouldn’t be an issue of the conversation.

“A friend of ours says he knows you and wants to talk to all of us backstage. Is that okay?” The smile on Derpy’s face would convince a lot of people to say yes, but it’s not exactly easy to convince a performer to walk offstage with random strangers and go into their back room with them.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t just walk off. Or let you guys back there.” She said, and then turned back to the turntables.

“But, but…but Caesar’s with us!” My heart skipped another beat when Derpy mentioned my name. My eyes shot from the stage to my copy, frantic that he may have heard, though he appeared to still be unaware above the loud, pulsing sounds of the music. The DJ turned away from the vinyl discs again, and back to Derpy.

“…As in the guy who’s paying for this?” She asked.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s right over there!” She gestured in our direction as she spoke, causing the DJ to turn to see me. I waved, trying to put on a smile despite the nerves.

“…Why’s he dressed like he tripped and fell through two closets?” She asked, to which Derpy replied with a shrug. “Alright, since he’s hooving the bill, I’ll take a few minutes.” At that, she turned to the mic.

“Alright, I’m going to take a quick break to get some more vinyls for you guys. In the meantime, here’s something mellow so everypony can relax during the pause.” She switched which disc the needle was on, and then walked off the stage toward the back, Derpy following behind, flashing the three of us a gigantic smile as she did so.

“Well, I…guess that works.” I said. “Come on, let’s get out of the open before he looks over here.” The two nodded, and we followed after Derpy and the DJ, entering the backstage area.